Carina Chocano
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For 362 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 58% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 3.7 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Carina Chocano's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 63
Highest review score: 100 Little Children
Lowest review score: 0 Running Scared
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 27 out of 362
362 movie reviews
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    You could go see P.S. I Love You, or you could hit yourself on the head with a meat mallet -- it depends on the amount of time and money you want to devote to what amounts to roughly the same experience.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    The movie straitjackets Keaton into a humorless, table-pounding role.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    Winds up an oddly depressing, lost, little movie that eventually caves in on itself.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    The anesthetized, deadpan performances -- except for Meat Loaf as Anna's gangster boyfriend, who's so over-the-top it appears he stumbled in from another movie -- and dull storytelling result in an unsuccessful mix of screwball comedy, melodrama and noir.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    The movie is a tortured marshmallow.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    An unconscionably dreary and amateurish-looking thing, and the rote plot and annoyingly predictable script -- a compendium of bird puns, mostly -- don't work nearly hard enough to make up for the hammy awfulness of the images.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    Rent is commodified faux bohemia on a platter, eliciting the same kind of numbing soul-sadness as children's beauty pageants, tiny dogs in expensive boots, Mahatma Gandhi in Apple ads.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    The movie suffers from a malady common to tiny indies of the let's-put-on-a-show variety -- it strains for irrepressibly nutty, but lands squarely in annoying.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    The performances by all three children are scarily convincing. Still, it's a taxing bit of exploitation, which, although you're glad to know it's a work of fiction, doesn't exactly make a case for itself as art.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    What we may very well be looking at here is another "Showgirls," a drag camp-fest for the "Baby Jane" crowd, fabulous fodder for future cabaret acts, and a pleasure probably best enjoyed in a crowd -- preferably a vocal one. Dead serious and stone idiotic, the only basic instinct in evidence here is desperation.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    It's always dispiriting to see children's movies succumb to desperate pandering to the coolness imperative, especially since, given the marketing muscle they tend to have behind them, the bigger trick seems to be in getting people not to see them.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    Little more than an extended excuse for a soundtrack.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    Martian Child would like to be "About a Boy (Who Thinks He's a Martian)", but, disappointingly, it doesn't even come close.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    A stew of cheap irony, ponderous but meaningless allegory, violence and pretension, the movie is all borrowed style and calculated pandering. It does, however, get more ludicrous by the minute. So in that sense, it's good for an occasional laugh.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    It's a big, cheesy, familiar bore. With its garland of set pieces featuring Matthew McConaughey in mortal danger strung together by beach-groovy musical hooks, Fool's Gold feels at times like a third-rate Bond movie set to a Jimmy Buffett album.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    The fakeness of it all overwhelms, dampening any real excitement. It's hard to care about characters so stiff and one-dimensional they out-cartoon the cartoon originals, and it's hard to watch them bop around like avatars in a flat, airless, digital world.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    What was presumably intended to play like a fable plays, instead, like an overly long car commercial crossed with a scare-mongering public service announcement.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    The real problem with "Phantom" is the problem with Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals in general. It's a slow-moving orgy of lowbrow grandiosity that's as tedious as it is overblown and pretentious.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    Too sophomoric to be believed.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Carina Chocano
    Chopped into episodes headed by typewritten dates, Provoked turns the case of a lifetime into something straight out of Lifetime.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Carina Chocano
    Deeply silly and tendentious.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Carina Chocano
    Derailed seems to want badly to be described as contemporary noir. But it's just pitch-dumb.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 20 Carina Chocano
    The only thing remotely resembling parody in this depressing waste of time and money is Jennifer Coolidge's sendup of Barbra Streisand as an over-the-top string of Jewish mother clich├ęs.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Carina Chocano
    Not so much phoned in as it is auto-dialed with a text-to-speech prerecorded message in one of those creepy robotic voices.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 20 Carina Chocano
    Love is a many-splendored thing in Robert Benton's dull romantic fantasy Feast of Love, though none of its splendors rings true.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Carina Chocano
    A grim, shrill, deluded and incredibly depressing movie, so bewilderingly mean-spirited that the trademark Farrelly Brothers gross-out scenes feel like the sweetest.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Carina Chocano
    Running Scared is so desperate and surreally stupid that all you would have to do to see it as a brilliant sendup of everything that is corrupt, vulgar, sad, deluded and bad-for-you about Hollywood is squint.

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