Desson Thomson

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For 1,685 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 48% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 50% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 2.8 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Desson Thomson's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 Night and the City
Lowest review score: 0 The Devil's Own
Score distribution:
1685 movie reviews
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Very young children, it should be said, probably won't have any problem with the movie. It's bright and perky on the surface. But for anyone mature enough to pay closer attention, it's going to fall short of expectations.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    They go about scaring you, but only in the most hackneyed and cheap-shock manner.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Honey's a little too darling for reality but, obviously, that's not what this candy-cane vehicle of a movie is all about. It's about the way Alba moves and how good she looks when she's backlighted and smiling.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Despite its intelligent agenda, swollen heart and fabulously epic surface, amounts to a didactic banality: a white guy's politically correct lesson abroad.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A disappointingly dull thud of a fantasy.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Like the turtleneck cashmere sweaters and girdles that tie down these promising women, the movie is trite and trussed.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Needs more than happy thoughts to get off the ground.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Gets more operatically farcical (most of it unintentionally so) by the minute.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It may give many viewers a licentious flutter, but the highbrow ingredient -- although it desperately wants to be there -- is missing.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even by Disney's formulaic standards -- is about as cut and dried as the phone book.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If you're going to make a gross-out comedy you can't just be gross. You've got to be to be funny as well, or the movie will be DOA. Which is why Eurotrip should be toe-tagged and shoved into the deepest and coldest of video vaults.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    About as funny as malaria.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If it weren't for Sharif's extraordinary presence, there wouldn't be a cherishable moment in the movie.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although the acting is committed and sometimes stirring, most of the characters are about as one-note as the biblical archetypes Martin wants to get away from in the first place. "The Name of the Rose" this ain't.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    You can boost mediocrity a little, but you cannot raise it from the dead.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Taking Lives would have to work nights to reach mediocrity.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film oozes sentimentality, soap-opera bathos and clumsy cribbings from the Frank Capra book of small-town values. Those are its good points.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    One mediocre, ploddingly predictable film, loaded down with cheesy Hollywood tactics.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's something secondhand about everything here. Hoge (this is his debut) seems to be mimicking the tone and fabric of other, better indie movies.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    These storied 13 days feel like the Hundred Years War.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's as pretentious and wispy as its title.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is a predictable, gruesome piece of business.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even the staunchest of golfheads must know they're watching a cut-and-trite accounting.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A special-effects extravaganza that uses the barest of excuses to bring these characters together.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A picture-book French film that's pretty and trite, rather than edgy and moving.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The muddy, convoluted story revolves around the star's cool-guy poses and one-liners.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The result: an empty comedy that takes hackneyed potshots at consumerism.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's nothing to recommend about this film except its sheer innocuousness. And Bill Murray's off-screen voicing as Garfield adds no "Robin Williams" element to the movie.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The gags are physical but rarely funny.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's more bathroom and slapstick humor than a sixth-grader could stand, and a veritable flood of drool, blood and less mentionable effluvia, most of it courtesy of Mr. Wayans as he tries to be – you know – funny.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Here was my question for most of this movie: Wha-? I was clueless. Did not understand. Count me among the stupid.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Laugh? I thought I'd never start.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story, which features an apparently lobotomized Guy Pearce as an opportunistic explorer and hunter who learns the errors of his ways, is deeply dull.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    I would rather have a more interesting group of desperate people to spend my post-apocalyptic time with.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It goes down (and comes back up) like a hairball.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie comes across as a political science course videotape rather than a movie to fully engage a general audience.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    For the most part, the film's a bewildering disappointment.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    These dramatic shortfalls make us merely worried that two human beings are in danger, but not two compelling souls. There's your missing ingredient, the human X-factor.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The suspense is laughably absent.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Too long winded and dull.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Nicotina skitters between dull and forced, this despite the use of split screens, jaunty music and the personable Luna.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A snooze, despite all the sex and other gunplay.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It tries unsuccessfully to make a wry gumshoe noir out of an overarching, cross-sectional political diagram.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There are some very funny passing lines, but the movie's too uneven to enjoy.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Director Howard is so mesmerized by the flames, he squirts formulaic lighter fluid over everything. A conflagration of hyped-up movie cliches, courtesy of George Lucas's Industrial Light & Magic special effects shop, scalds your face.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The firefighting equivalent of an Army recruitment commercial.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie just doesn't match its predecessors.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Unfortunately, the drama operates on a see-through, easily shatterable metaphor: the frigidity of the WASP soul. [17 October 1997, p.N32]
    • Washington Post
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    First-time filmmaker Jordan Roberts worked on this project for years, but merely ended up with dreary cliche.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Between them, Clooney and Kidman would still need a third party to work up a personality. In fairness to both, they aren't given much to work with.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Absolutely awesome in its relentless mediocrity.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's just sort of trying.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Saw
    But humans who live above ground, including horror fans, will find themselves only fitfully entertained and more consistently appalled.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's nothing authentic about this London lad ... Nothing particularly likable either.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although this script starts off with great zest, it's ultimately a disappointment.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Everything is tearful confessions, angry interrogations and breakups. But there's nothing underneath.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    So taken with its own love of cinema, it forgets to lead you down the necessary dramaturgical path to make you fall in love, too.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This vainglorious biopic about Bobby Darin is really about what the '60s pop singer and actor means to Kevin Spacey.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There seem to be about a half-dozen spiraling subplots that go nowhere in particular. But it's oh so hiply done -- at least, that's the idea.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Maybe they should have called A Love Song for Bobby Long something more appropriately descriptive, such as "When Actors Imitating Southern Characters Go Bad."
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Cut-and-dried sci-fi thriller.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Becomes a strung-together collection of interesting, semi-interesting, boring and sometimes embarrassing (seemingly improvised) moments from the cast.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A fascinating premise. And yet, the movie, directed by Bruce Beresford, never quite blooms.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Best news: over in 87 minutes.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In a movie whose texture is supposed to be hard-edged realism, the characterization seems a little too pat and jaunty.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Hampered by Niall Johnson's script, which is often confusing, muddy and ultimately cliche-ridden.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film degenerates into an overly simplistic satire -- with moon-worshiping, Guatemala-visiting, lesbian aborters on one side, and fetally obsessive, meat-eating, gun-toting Jesus worshipers on the other.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is all pretty faces and six-pack abs, but no characters. All surface and no soul. Come to think of it, the surface isn't so darned hot either.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Stumbles mindlessly in all directions.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    An overwrought gangster fable.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Where there was effortless cool in the first movie, there is nothing but manufactured posing here.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The Jacket is doing nothing but sampling elements of "Jacob's Ladder," "The Silence of the Lambs" and "Memento" without offering more than hackneyed solutions, including a rather cheesy conclusion.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    With no real comedy to enjoy, it's torture to watch Diesel undergo a predictable change from emotionless soldier to loving family man. Makes you want to spit out your pacifier in disgust.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In their desire to humanize the big story, director John Boorman and screenwriter Ann Peacock ... have resorted to groan-inducing cliches and clunky narrative.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    McConaughey remains more buffed than compelling. He's not helped by a two-hour convolution of episodes that are too busy imitating other, better movies.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's almost too dull to pan.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The dialogue and acting are flatter than a punctured ball.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Never better than fair to middling pleasant.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    You'll be rooting for these people to get slaughtered out of sheer boredom.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    To introduce an archetype like this to western audiences -- as the world weathers culturally and religiously demonizing times -- may have been worth this whole flawed movie. Too bad the story didn't just start with him.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The script's a plodder, and the acting's unbearably stilted. The movie's intentions are like the starry constellations that inspire the eponymous hero: out of reach.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If there's anything good to be said about Heights, it's Glenn Close's strutty, booming performance.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It sinks so deep and fast, you don't even see bubbles on the surface.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story is more undead than all of these revenant shufflers. And the orgy of gore and home-engineered special effects doesn't make up for the shortfall.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Feels like a manufactured Asian "Chocolat," which drives the label 'art house movie' even further into mainstream banality.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Never did sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll seem more shopworn and routine.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Unfortunately, The Man makes the mistake of assuming casting is all it takes to make a good comedy.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This unusual convergence of stars doesn't amount to much.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Soccer needs this movie like Georgia needed "Deliverance."
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Should we really be so moved and uplifted that a horny, ignorant young man begins to join the human race? Not when our voice of conscience is an off-screen filmmaker issuing pseudo-profound, and ultimately banal, pronouncements about the true nature of love and seduction.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    So single-minded in its reach for fantasy, it becomes the genre's evil opposite: banality.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's no question the movie's entertaining. But the blatantly schematic depictions of black and white, liberal and hawk, and other tiresome dichotomies turn A Time to Kill into the moral equivalent of a cockfight.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The fight between good and evil feels fixed in favor of Hollywood redemption.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A loud, standard-issue sci-fi action film that has a confusing mission.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    That mind-bending, mystical business was better handled in such films as 1990's "Jacob's Ladder."
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Penn, who also wrote the script, burdens the story with so many self-indulgent side developments that he loses emotional drive and Freddy's desperate obsession gets lost in the shuffle.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    As if aware that Congo is the least interesting adventure ever filmed, screenwriter John Patrick Shanley (who once wrote a funny movie called "Moonstruck") tries to inoculate the activities with humor.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It doesn't help matters that The Libertine seems to unload every olde English cliche on file.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A jarring amalgam of sitcom goofiness and uncomfortable ooginess.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's an eroticism of nastiness -- triple-X fare for dirty old men in raincoats. If you resist this sleazy gorefest, you'll be right to feel proud of yourself.

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