Desson Thomson

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For 1,634 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 49% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 1.9 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Desson Thomson's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 Under the Sand
Lowest review score: 0 Isn't She Great
Score distribution:
1634 movie reviews
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Roos and director Herbert Ross pave the long and grinding road to self-fulfillment with miles and miles of counterfeit poignancy.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Weitz co-directed the wonderful "About a Boy" in 2002, but in "Dreamz" -- a tediously facile satire -- his comic instincts fail him.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Though Hard Candy clearly believes pedophiles should be chopped into little pieces and buried in an unmarked grave, its only purpose is exploitative. Sure, it's a cautionary tale for all those sicko wolves out there, but it's nothing more than an unabashed lurk-and-dread fest.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    RV
    Why did director Barry Sonnenfeld take on this project? Just to sully a fine comedic resume that includes "The Addams Family" and "Get Shorty"? And one last one: Which one of these levers do you push to send the RV careering off the mountain for good?
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The mawkishness is ultimately too formidable.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This adaptation of the underground comic strip is mostly unfabulous.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If only Shadowboxer had gone for more than an unwavering commitment to imitate better movies, it might have been one for the cult shelves at the video store. Right now, you'll be lucky if you find it in the giveaway bin.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Sadly, this movie is a far cry from the atmospheric, even thoughtfully crafted original, which made you truly scared for the unkempt, everyman victims. But this latest version, though just as grisly, is literally hackwork, and stars a forgettable, airbrushed cast of slaughterees.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    After 9/11, few of us look at terrorist acts casually. It's insulting to watch this grandiloquent pornography, using shock value and Hollywood cliche to evoke poignancy.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A good-natured but failed experiment in meeting cute -- indie-movie style.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    But when mechanical plots are a drama's main engine, we look for something else to divert us, preferably good comedy. That's in short supply, unfortunately. And it's no fun to sit through the movie's retread Woody Allenisms.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Much of the movie -- which Murphy wrote with a small posse of collaborators -- is taken up with the torturously dull, not to mention unbelievable, romance between Norbit and Kate (a disappointingly lackluster Newton) and the tedious agenda of Cuba Gooding Jr. as a schemer-manipulator.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If only The Reaping had the decency to be coherent.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's hard to imagine an audience that won't break up in laughter at this bewildering mixed message: Enjoy this movie, but you really shouldn't be watching it.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Angel-A is counterfeit art-house chic writ large -- a French film that fails to produce the ineffable charms of the yesteryear movies it brazenly imitates.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie feels forced, cliched and derivative.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's gotten to the point where Gooding's presence on a marquee practically guarantees we'll be bashing our heads against the seat in front of us. Bonk, bonk, bonk.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's a soap opera posing as moral outrage.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    By introducing silly elements into a serious endeavor, the filmmakers undercut their own movie. In the end, we're watching a somewhat exploitative movie about exploitation.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A Mexican movie in which the outcome is never in doubt, the scenes are endless -- sorry, we meant poetic-- and the false beard on the central character's face looks as though it could use a little extra gum.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Overdresses and ultimately abandons what drew us to its 1998 predecessor in the first place: an intimate embrace with history.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Intended as a fuzzy family fable, "August" plays more to the gag reflex than to the heart, especially when our little orphan starts playing the guitar like a virtuoso after what seems like a three-minute tutorial.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    May be ambitious in its genre-defying abandon, sideswiping science fiction, satire, film noir and melodrama along the way, but it's also exasperatingly convoluted, self-amused and politically sophomoric.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film's moral commentary is De Palma redux: same old Brian enjoying the peeping, bringing us into the guilt zone, then saying shame on all of us.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Instead of offering a perspective that, at the very least, laments a world where the flow of money hurts otherwise good people, Allen simply pushes the movie into an uncertain sinkhole between morality play and black comedy.
    • 7 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Like Nate, we are mere Notties. And we are supposed to feel oh-so privileged for getting to watch Paris through the glass.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Let's wait for a movie where they do get it all right: story, acting and dancing. It'll happen, just not this time.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Fractured, tentative, oh-so-artsy and very much in the style of Wong's previous Hong Kong-set boy-meets-girl movies. But this time, the effect is contrived: a star-driven pseudo-indie affair that will please neither celebrity worshipers nor cineastes.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In Chaos Theory, Reynolds's performance is taut, crabby and tense. And his beard and glasses, which intensify those already narrow eyes, suggest a mad bomb-builder rather than a hapless soul with whom we can identify.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Deception is another example of when genre-fication (the forcing of otherwise intriguing stories into the straitjackets of horror, thriller or other genres) reduces our entertainment to head-shaking banality.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    At its worst (and this is where Made of Honor comes in), it can leave you with a bad taste, not just in your mouth but in your soul.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's too bad the filmmakers didn't take a breath, look at the rushes and see what a comedic gem they had. With just a few tweaks, The Merry Gentleman could have made a wickedly funny parody of the over-earnest, lyrically hard-edged indie movie. But it's too late for do-overs.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's a glossified, cluttered parody of itself. Almodovar is no longer a burlesque auteur. He's a repeat offender.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    If this sounds like "Tootsie" with a ball, well, it is. Screenwriter Bradley Allenstein should be hauled up in writer's court for his shameless cribbing of that far superior comedy. Someone call a foul.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    How much you enjoy this movie depends on how funny you find Sandler talking out the side of his mouth with a gravelly squawk -- for the entire movie.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    If there's one piece of wisdom to be culled from this botched project, it's this: No one gets Carter.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    It's not Christmas that's being stolen here. It's the spirit of Dr. Seuss.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Essentially an extended cutesy session.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Is Meg Ryan going to play the goofy romantic gal forever?
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    I'd rather sit in bumper-to-bumper hell on I-495 for two hours than get caught in Traffic again.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Unromantic, nonsexual and hellaciously dull.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    I'd give this movie about half a miracle.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    There's little here to offend anyone, and even less here to excite anyone.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    You won't feel enlightened, just let down
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Drowning in uncharted waters and way off-center in any world.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Proof of Life isn't a movie. It's an overpriced scrapbook.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Watching this movie, you also have to ask yourself: Just how many acts of self-inflicted finger amputations do I really want to see?
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Although the hallmarks of Rudolph movies can be found everywhere -- they don't add up to the usual magic this time.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Dismal. Lame. Not funny.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Shallow Hal makes the case for restricting the Farrellys to mere gross-out movies.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Feels razor thin. None of the characters is particularly noteworthy. And the revelations of deep-seated conspiracy in the usual privileged, closed circles are hackneyed and tired.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The story moves so slowly and obviously, you don't even need to be in the theater very much (or your living room when the video comes out) to follow it.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    An action opera designed to elicit Beavis and Butt-head-level appreciation.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A disaster of a drama, saved only by its winged assailants. You know a picture's in trouble when you find yourself rooting for humankind to lose.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Nothing more, or less, than a cheap, dirty grab at our Christmas spirit.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Let's accentuate the positive: Saving Silverman really stinks. No, really. It's bad. Awful.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    You can laugh with or without irony. Or you can simply stay away.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    This David Spade comedy breaks an ankle, ruptures several knee ligaments and hits the dirt harder than a felled linebacker. Best thing you can do for this movie? Leave it writhing in the throes of forced humor.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The most screamingly obvious reaction to Gerry is: what a load of pseudo-arty you-know-what.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    At no point should anyone mistake this for an actual movie. This is an extended beach video that will leave no one swept away.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Intentionally defies categorization and explication.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    With conceptual misfires like this, Lee's best work recedes even more swiftly into the past.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    They (De Niro, Burns) look good together. But what a staggering pity they chose such a nasty, hackneyed movie to demonstrate their chemistry.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Lacks the spirit of the previous two, and makes all those jokes about hos and even more unmentionable subjects seem like mere splashing around in the muck.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The movie that Disney uses to explore this premise drips with so much corporate good-neighbor syrup, you might want to wear something waterproof. And Penn's performance is, at best, ripe for discussion.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The movie is less than nothing special. The movie veers between pretentiousness (oh, the plight of the instant, start-up Artist) and vacuousness.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Heaven forbid a Hollywood romantic movie have any narrative surprises.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Although the movie is set in the rock world and, therefore, should be a sort of extended music video, it's devoid of even MTV-caliber originality.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A rambling disappointment.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Tries to combine humor with ghostly horror but excels at neither.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The movie covers too much ground with too little detail. It manages to be convoluted, complicated, incomprehensible and maddeningly thin all at the same time.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Evolution is bad. How bad? Who cares? Do you ask how hot the fire is before running out of a burning building? No, you just run for safety.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Feels patently inauthentic.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Pfarrer's screenplay feels older than the Martian hills.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Here are some of Summer School's favorite things: idiocy, illiteracy, irresponsibility, drunkenness, dumbness and debauchery. Piqued? [24 July 1987]
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A front-end collision of a romance.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A bad, unimaginative story posing pretentiously as the very opposite.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    There's something so familiar and commonplace about this story and its characters...it's hard to get particularly thrilled.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    David Gale deserves the chair for its brutal assault on subtlety.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Insipid, by-the-numbers romance.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Stumbles right out of the gate and never regains its footing. It's sad to see a gifted comedian like Janeane Garofalo trying, but failing, to anchor this mediocre affair.
    • Washington Post
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A serious been-there-done-that number.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The driving drama of such a desperate situation is lost in the movie's casting silliness.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Guys, I'm telling you: Don't go to this movie! It's "Chasing Amy" with guns! You're walking into a trap! This is for fans of the holy couple, but they already know that.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    It needs a wooden stake AND a silver bullet through its script.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Lacks that outrageous effrontery that might have socked it to its intended audience.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Luckily, life (just like the SAT) has its multiple-choice options. You don't actually have to watch this.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    An insipid potboiler set against the far more enticing surf and sand of Oahu's North Shore.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Devolves into such utter ludicrousness, the best response (other than avoiding the thing in the first place) is to laugh.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Possibly the worst thug-life flick to be released in the past 72 hours, this movie sags under the weight of the bling-bling cliches strung around its headless neck.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A galactic slump of a movie that stuffs its travel bag with special effects but forgets to pack the charm.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    An intriguing idea for about two seconds.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    It's sheer agony to sit through, and not for the reasons Lee would relish. It's just bad.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Abomination of a movie.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Tedious.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    This isn't real life. It isn't even a movie. It's an extended sitcom. And for the first time in your life, you'll actually beg for commercials.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    If ever there was a case for quitting while you're behind, this "Blade" is it -- ready to be buried in a vat of garlic.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Only reason to watch this: the grisly reward Irving receives for being in this picture.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A fast-paced, twisty-turny, high-fiving, but ultimately spiraling disaster of a movie about air traffic controllers, gets lost in this hyperbolic cloud cover, never to be found again.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    We're only a little spooked, only a little amused and, by extension, only a little entertained.

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