Desson Thomson
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For 1,631 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 49% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Desson Thomson's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 Election
Lowest review score: 0 Isn't She Great
Score distribution:
1,631 movie reviews
    • 67 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Despite a glut of luridness, the story line feels essentially flat, as Keitel stumbles through New York in an immoral, unchanging haze. It is only the strength of Keitel's performance that gives his personality human dimension.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    It's just respectable trash, and a dress rehearsal for better things ahead.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Forgettable the instant it strafes your retinas.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    An overextended, episodic disappointment.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    A blithely unfunny, low-budget comedy from director Barry Levinson.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Some routines are funny, it must be said. But more often than not, you'll be groaning with painful recognition rather than actually laughing.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    If any element takes us through the movie, it's him (Depp).
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The worst mistake is the screenplay, which not only cuts everything into superficial pieces but fails to make authentic moments of anything. In the end, White Oleander isn't an adaptation of a novel. It's a flashy, star-splashed reduction.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Keeps you hanging on until the very last moment, not because it's scary, but because you can't believe that's all there is to it.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    How can you celebrate a movie in which Zellweger doesn't soar but simply avoids disaster?
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Enough to make any thinking person want to shoot a hole in the screen.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Actually, any fun you might encounter in Recall can be traced, most often, to director Verhoeven, who injects some of his "Robocop" camp into this mega-dumb project.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    In the end, Stage Beauty is in over its mediocre head.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Has its sinfully funny moments. Funny, that is, if you appreciate a certain cynical clamminess -- or Buck Henry seediness -- to your comedy.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Amid the violence, the one-liners ring out. Nobody speaks for real. It's as if they all know they're in a movie.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    At what point in the movie is it too late to ask for your money back?
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    You are allowed to come up with a monster we haven't seen before.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Despite all the life-threatening situations, warrior deaths and heroic feats, it's hard to get behind characters who feel like lazy archetypes.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    For all the filmmakers' efforts, this project is something of an artistic albatross. It's a conundrum that doesn't get answered until a sort of help-the-audience Cliffs Notes final scene, in which we learn Everything. But by then, more than a few of us may be wondering, was it all really worth the trouble?
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Enjoyable in some places, but dreadful in others. It's boring here and exciting there. And it's almost always goofy.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Isn't appropriate for any innocent child -- assuming such lovely creatures still exist. But boys and girls who enjoy surprise attacks in their entertainment (of the aforementioned toilet variety) are going to have a blast. Sad but true.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    I can only bestow this adaptation of Joanne Harris's bestselling novel with such faint praise as "pleasant" and "mildly disarming."
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Despite a subject of immense potential -- the movie's surprisingly uninvolving.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Mulholland Drive is an extended mood opera, if you want to put an arty label on incoherence.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The movie is going to be fine for PG-ready audiences, assuming they don't have a problem with extremely predictable story turns.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Feels so slight and pointless.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The best thing about Murder at 1600? Speed of exposition. Directed by Dwight Little, who made Steven Seagalís "Marked for Death," this thing whizzes from one unbelievable story point to the next. Your suspension of disbelief appreciates the momentum, if nothing else.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    A violence-intoxicated, far-fetched, morally corrupt drama.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    There's grist here for a genuinely stirring film. But writer-director Bruce Beresford -- who created the screenplay from interviews with real-life World War II prisoners (who also performed music for the Japanese) -- reduces everything to its most uninteresting banality. [18Apr1997 Pg. N.44]
    • Washington Post
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Williams is hardly at his comically inventive best. And the script (adapted by Chris Van Allsburg, and a string of others, from his book) pursues the least exciting avenues possible.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    While Phenomenon attempts, tritely, to ascend into mind-blowing significance, it also plummets into a pit of sentimental mush.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    For those who simply want to drink in the northern Italian countryside and Tyler's physical details, it's quite an experience. But as a story, Stealing Beauty (which Bertolucci wrote with Susan Minot) is a misbegotten, sentimental reunion with old European cinema.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    After a promising beginning and an amusing middle, the movie gets stuck in limbo.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The plot becomes so overextended, as Reeves and Hopper wage their endless public transportation battle, even the hardest Die-Harders will consider leaping off way before the final stop.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The movie, a frenetic, explosive experience full of car crashes and gun battles, is original and exhilarating. But more often, it's so overwhelming, it'll make you want to watch "Die Hard With a Vengeance" for peace and quiet.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    It's not often you find a movie as exciting and awful as Rumble in the Bronx. But the sole aim of this so-bad-it's-funny action picture is to introduce Jackie Chan to American audiences. In that narrow sense, it's completely successful.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This is for the pre-converted, certainly not the left, or even those who consider themselves detached observers.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The trouble is, this is Hartley all over again. What seemed cutting edge and sharp in the 1990s -- the smart-alecky references to obscure filmmakers (Werner Herzog, Andrei Konchalovsky), the self-mocking tone in the actors' voices, the overall sense that this movie is subverting itself -- feels rehashed and old.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Makes the mistake of including too sweeping a scope in too small a movie and with too few resources.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Hampered by Niall Johnson's script, which is often confusing, muddy and ultimately cliche-ridden.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is all pretty faces and six-pack abs, but no characters. All surface and no soul. Come to think of it, the surface isn't so darned hot either.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Where there was effortless cool in the first movie, there is nothing but manufactured posing here.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The Jacket is doing nothing but sampling elements of "Jacob's Ladder," "The Silence of the Lambs" and "Memento" without offering more than hackneyed solutions, including a rather cheesy conclusion.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    With no real comedy to enjoy, it's torture to watch Diesel undergo a predictable change from emotionless soldier to loving family man. Makes you want to spit out your pacifier in disgust.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In their desire to humanize the big story, director John Boorman and screenwriter Ann Peacock ... have resorted to groan-inducing cliches and clunky narrative.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    McConaughey remains more buffed than compelling. He's not helped by a two-hour convolution of episodes that are too busy imitating other, better movies.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's almost too dull to pan.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The dialogue and acting are flatter than a punctured ball.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Never better than fair to middling pleasant.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    You'll be rooting for these people to get slaughtered out of sheer boredom.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    To introduce an archetype like this to western audiences -- as the world weathers culturally and religiously demonizing times -- may have been worth this whole flawed movie. Too bad the story didn't just start with him.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If there's anything good to be said about Heights, it's Glenn Close's strutty, booming performance.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It sinks so deep and fast, you don't even see bubbles on the surface.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story is more undead than all of these revenant shufflers. And the orgy of gore and home-engineered special effects doesn't make up for the shortfall.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Feels like a manufactured Asian "Chocolat," which drives the label 'art house movie' even further into mainstream banality.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Never did sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll seem more shopworn and routine.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Unfortunately, The Man makes the mistake of assuming casting is all it takes to make a good comedy.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This unusual convergence of stars doesn't amount to much.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Soccer needs this movie like Georgia needed "Deliverance."
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Should we really be so moved and uplifted that a horny, ignorant young man begins to join the human race? Not when our voice of conscience is an off-screen filmmaker issuing pseudo-profound, and ultimately banal, pronouncements about the true nature of love and seduction.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    So single-minded in its reach for fantasy, it becomes the genre's evil opposite: banality.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The fight between good and evil feels fixed in favor of Hollywood redemption.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A loud, standard-issue sci-fi action film that has a confusing mission.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    That mind-bending, mystical business was better handled in such films as 1990's "Jacob's Ladder."
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It doesn't help matters that The Libertine seems to unload every olde English cliche on file.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A jarring amalgam of sitcom goofiness and uncomfortable ooginess.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    With a premise as cavalier as this, perhaps director and co-writer James Wong could have found a tone more original than post-Wes Craven cynicism. Instead, he panders to viewers, allowing them to take gleeful comfort in the destruction of the stupid and doomed.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Date Movie, alas, is here to remind us that slapstick can be just plain bad. These are sight gags best appreciated with a blindfold.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Weitz co-directed the wonderful "About a Boy" in 2002, but in "Dreamz" -- a tediously facile satire -- his comic instincts fail him.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Though Hard Candy clearly believes pedophiles should be chopped into little pieces and buried in an unmarked grave, its only purpose is exploitative. Sure, it's a cautionary tale for all those sicko wolves out there, but it's nothing more than an unabashed lurk-and-dread fest.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    RV
    Why did director Barry Sonnenfeld take on this project? Just to sully a fine comedic resume that includes "The Addams Family" and "Get Shorty"? And one last one: Which one of these levers do you push to send the RV careering off the mountain for good?
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The mawkishness is ultimately too formidable.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This adaptation of the underground comic strip is mostly unfabulous.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If only Shadowboxer had gone for more than an unwavering commitment to imitate better movies, it might have been one for the cult shelves at the video store. Right now, you'll be lucky if you find it in the giveaway bin.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Sadly, this movie is a far cry from the atmospheric, even thoughtfully crafted original, which made you truly scared for the unkempt, everyman victims. But this latest version, though just as grisly, is literally hackwork, and stars a forgettable, airbrushed cast of slaughterees.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    After 9/11, few of us look at terrorist acts casually. It's insulting to watch this grandiloquent pornography, using shock value and Hollywood cliche to evoke poignancy.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A good-natured but failed experiment in meeting cute -- indie-movie style.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    But when mechanical plots are a drama's main engine, we look for something else to divert us, preferably good comedy. That's in short supply, unfortunately. And it's no fun to sit through the movie's retread Woody Allenisms.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Much of the movie -- which Murphy wrote with a small posse of collaborators -- is taken up with the torturously dull, not to mention unbelievable, romance between Norbit and Kate (a disappointingly lackluster Newton) and the tedious agenda of Cuba Gooding Jr. as a schemer-manipulator.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If only The Reaping had the decency to be coherent.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's hard to imagine an audience that won't break up in laughter at this bewildering mixed message: Enjoy this movie, but you really shouldn't be watching it.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Angel-A is counterfeit art-house chic writ large -- a French film that fails to produce the ineffable charms of the yesteryear movies it brazenly imitates.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie feels forced, cliched and derivative.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's gotten to the point where Gooding's presence on a marquee practically guarantees we'll be bashing our heads against the seat in front of us. Bonk, bonk, bonk.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's a soap opera posing as moral outrage.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    By introducing silly elements into a serious endeavor, the filmmakers undercut their own movie. In the end, we're watching a somewhat exploitative movie about exploitation.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A Mexican movie in which the outcome is never in doubt, the scenes are endless -- sorry, we meant poetic-- and the false beard on the central character's face looks as though it could use a little extra gum.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Overdresses and ultimately abandons what drew us to its 1998 predecessor in the first place: an intimate embrace with history.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Intended as a fuzzy family fable, "August" plays more to the gag reflex than to the heart, especially when our little orphan starts playing the guitar like a virtuoso after what seems like a three-minute tutorial.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    May be ambitious in its genre-defying abandon, sideswiping science fiction, satire, film noir and melodrama along the way, but it's also exasperatingly convoluted, self-amused and politically sophomoric.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film's moral commentary is De Palma redux: same old Brian enjoying the peeping, bringing us into the guilt zone, then saying shame on all of us.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Instead of offering a perspective that, at the very least, laments a world where the flow of money hurts otherwise good people, Allen simply pushes the movie into an uncertain sinkhole between morality play and black comedy.
    • 7 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Like Nate, we are mere Notties. And we are supposed to feel oh-so privileged for getting to watch Paris through the glass.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Let's wait for a movie where they do get it all right: story, acting and dancing. It'll happen, just not this time.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Fractured, tentative, oh-so-artsy and very much in the style of Wong's previous Hong Kong-set boy-meets-girl movies. But this time, the effect is contrived: a star-driven pseudo-indie affair that will please neither celebrity worshipers nor cineastes.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In Chaos Theory, Reynolds's performance is taut, crabby and tense. And his beard and glasses, which intensify those already narrow eyes, suggest a mad bomb-builder rather than a hapless soul with whom we can identify.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Deception is another example of when genre-fication (the forcing of otherwise intriguing stories into the straitjackets of horror, thriller or other genres) reduces our entertainment to head-shaking banality.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    At its worst (and this is where Made of Honor comes in), it can leave you with a bad taste, not just in your mouth but in your soul.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's too bad the filmmakers didn't take a breath, look at the rushes and see what a comedic gem they had. With just a few tweaks, The Merry Gentleman could have made a wickedly funny parody of the over-earnest, lyrically hard-edged indie movie. But it's too late for do-overs.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    First-time filmmaker Jordan Roberts worked on this project for years, but merely ended up with dreary cliche.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A secondhand action movie that retreads all the tired staples of the 1980s and '90s.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is about the worst thing Chan has done in the United States.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Aside from the obviously Australian flavor to everything -- which can be entertaining at times -- there's no X factor to justify the whole exercise.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    No darn good.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    About as funny as digging your own grave in an unmarked part of New Jersey.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Doesn't anyone get sick of this same old routine?
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Dramatically and conceptually, the movie sits there, flat, naked and trying too hard with too little.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A cold, protracted and unemotional affair.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A longwinded, predictable scenario.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even by its own please-the-mob standards, this movie is lacking.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's a little too much over-the-top drama, as well as superfluous detail, in this Icelandic film.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    I'd recommend you actively or passively forget this one.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There doesn't seem to be much purpose to it except a half-baked notion that the histrionics of the mentally insane (or a moviemaker's idea therein) are eminently cinematic. They aren't.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story, a half-baked one about treachery and greed, meanders to an unsatisfactory ending with a punch line that, well, doesn't punch very hard.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Uninspired baseball romance.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Has its moments. In fact, it has too many of them. At 2 hours and 20 minutes and with enough characters to take up a few floors at a big hotel, it feels about an act too long.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If ever there was a movie fit for permanent entombment, it's this sequel.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The actual movie is the cinematic equivalent of cheap Chinese egg rolls: all flour and cabbage shreds, maybe half a nibble of pork.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Yields the same sort of archetype and the usual results: De Niro's workmanlike in a dismayingly familiar role.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Head-scratchingly ordinary, given Schwarzenegger's need to prove he's still a virile (i.e., non-aging) action hero.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The inside story is weak, dull and head-poundingly boring, and the outside story is only slightly better, thanks to the lukewarm likability of its two stars.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Surprisingly uninvolving, the least effective of Neufeld's Clancy-based movies. Surely he was not looking for this kind of film: one that bombs literally and figuratively.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Awash in hackneyed old-time secrets and hydrophobic metaphor, never consumes us as it should.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Seems to avoid any kind of edgy, precedent-making attitude, some point of view that feels charged, divisive and consequently alive.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    We're really celebrating Hollywood's freedom to create biographies of anyone, no matter how high or low on the social ladder, and still come up with the same banal characteristics, messages and conclusions. In this sense, The People vs. Larry Flynt doesn't champion, so much as squander, freedom of speech.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A pretty woeful affair...a sitcom disguised as a movie.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    One-dimensional archetypes, too much predictability and not enough comedy.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's just too lost in its own presumed self-enchantment.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This saved-by-an-angel story is redeemed mostly by Smith's comic instincts.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Best news: over in 87 minutes.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Suffers from melodramatic overkill.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    From the get-go, the story remains bogged down in its rather limited morass.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    But by the end of the movie -- which seems to last longer than the Crusades -- all the good stuff has dissipated.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    All dancing and hugging and no good.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Has so little going for it, you wonder if you've missed something.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    An irredeemably transparent... DIRECT RIPPING OFF OF "SPEED."
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Too infuriatingly quirky and taken with its own style to get down to telling a story.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Sometimes in horror movies, bad acting is effective, its very woodenness contributing to the sense of robotic horror. That ain't happening here. These guys are just bad actors.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Allen, who's a natural charmer, seems to be at half-strength here.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even by the low-low standards of cheap action flicks, this one's bad, boys.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Hollywood Homicide is about murder, all right: the wholesale slaughter of anything funny, original or even vaguely logical.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Just a few guilty laughs, a predictable resolution and repeated close-ups of that dog jerking its head to one side, doing the cute thing.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    What isn't so fascinating is this movie's absurdity of motivation. No one does anything that makes sense. No one seems real. When the actual perpetrator is uncovered, there is no enlightenment as to why the killing occurred.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's too manufactured and deliberate to be persuasive.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    All fire-and-brimstone bunk, a tired compendium of involuntary crucifixions, grim messages carved into human flesh, fly buzzings, ominous choral chants on the soundtrack and at least one head twisting.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Could have been a sensation if a director with a smidgen of moviemaking instinct had taken the helm.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's more bathroom and slapstick humor than a sixth-grader could stand, and a veritable flood of drool, blood and less mentionable effluvia, most of it courtesy of Mr. Wayans as he tries to be – you know – funny.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    About as funny as malaria.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's something hideously pretentious about the whole thing.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The exuberance of the Rugrats seems nullified by the effete quirkiness of the Thornberrys.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is so wearying in its mediocrity, the inappropriate Ronica almost registers as dramatic relief.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This is a one-note deal, and it doesn't take long before you want to, well, just move out and leave these characters in their rent-controlled limbo.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's uninspired and insipid all the way.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Becomes a strung-together collection of interesting, semi-interesting, boring and sometimes embarrassing (seemingly improvised) moments from the cast.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A fascinating premise. And yet, the movie, directed by Bruce Beresford, never quite blooms.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Mainly, Femme Fatale is really about De Palma's three favorite things: women, movies and women. And you can either share his guilty pleasures in all their living, breathing, power-edited, overextended glory, or you can get on with your life.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A second-rate romantic comedy.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This ethnic family sitcom thing is rapidly turning into wearisome cliche, and American Chai doesn't hold a candle to either "Beckham" or "Greek Wedding."
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Stumbles and screeches on for an interminable two hours.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's difficult to concentrate on the story. Not that there's much to concentrate on anyway.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Its long-winded denouement, in which Grazia runs away rather than be sent to an institution, doesn't bring the story full circle. It just extends it.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    xXx
    Essentially a dumb guy's day in Heaven. The movie's retrofitted with stunts, fights, explosions, drugs, babes and cars -- not necessarily in that order.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie comes across as a political science course videotape rather than a movie to fully engage a general audience.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    An ambitious, experimental mess of a movie in search of something more profound.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie doesn't have the energy to be truly horrible. It's too muted and enervated. But it's a somewhat tedious thing to sit through.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The suspense is laughably absent.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In a movie as unrewarding as this, there's really only one burning question: When does the spanking begin?
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In a movie whose texture is supposed to be hard-edged realism, the characterization seems a little too pat and jaunty.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    After introducing a provocative opening, the movie settles in for some pretty cheap scare effects, as well as by-the-numbers computer graphic imagery for the actual marauder.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although the movie has its moments, it's a tearjerker that jerks too hard.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Nicotina skitters between dull and forced, this despite the use of split screens, jaunty music and the personable Luna.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie automatically pegs itself for the straight-to-video sci-fi rental shelf.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Well, it could have been good. But this goofy homage to Kiss fans gets dry mouth pretty fast.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Too long winded and dull.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Fails because of its gratuitous rape and violence and also because of its pretentious and intellectually one-dimensional grounds, which make the violence at the end feel even worse.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie may appeal to the youthful, midnight-madness crowd, but there isn't enough in it to bestow it with classic B-movie glory.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It just doesn't work...This isn't a blend of modern and classic so much as a collision.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Why sit through a lesser imitation, when you could just rent "Heathers" and those other movies for a far more enjoyable time? Drop-dead bitchery? Been there, done that.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Newman's cuteness aside, this movie feels long-winded.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    You can boost mediocrity a little, but you cannot raise it from the dead.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    To take Showgirls that seriously (as either trash-art or appalling pornography) wouldn't be worth the exertion.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's not much zest here, even with Mike Myers's energetic attempts to steal the movie as a cross-eyed flight instructor.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A snooze, despite all the sex and other gunplay.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Director Howard is so mesmerized by the flames, he squirts formulaic lighter fluid over everything. A conflagration of hyped-up movie cliches, courtesy of George Lucas's Industrial Light & Magic special effects shop, scalds your face.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    At best, the movie is a problematic chamber piece; at worst, a misdirected, slightly misanthropic pretension.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Taking Lives would have to work nights to reach mediocrity.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    For all his patient, accumulative storytelling, Sayles yields little that doesn't feel trite or overly schematic.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The only reason to watch this movie is for stargazing, nice shots of the sea and to revel in a world where false promises, lies and empty posturing are actively encouraged.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It goes down (and comes back up) like a hairball.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Dramatically lackluster.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Unfortunately, the drama operates on a see-through, easily shatterable metaphor: the frigidity of the WASP soul. [17 October 1997, p.N32]
    • Washington Post
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Equally earnest and unconvincing.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If it weren't for Sharif's extraordinary presence, there wouldn't be a cherishable moment in the movie.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Like the turtleneck cashmere sweaters and girdles that tie down these promising women, the movie is trite and trussed.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Between them, Clooney and Kidman would still need a third party to work up a personality. In fairness to both, they aren't given much to work with.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although Ryan is cannily cast against type, she doesn't bring much more than muttery incoherence and nudity to the role.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Cut-and-dried sci-fi thriller.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    That sense of fun is jackhammered into our skulls. The tongue that was so firmly in cheek last time has punctured through muscle and bone.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    One mediocre, ploddingly predictable film, loaded down with cheesy Hollywood tactics.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's too bad Chan's imagination and delicacy were wasted in this movie.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although the acting is committed and sometimes stirring, most of the characters are about as one-note as the biblical archetypes Martin wants to get away from in the first place. "The Name of the Rose" this ain't.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's just sort of trying.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Here was my question for most of this movie: Wha-? I was clueless. Did not understand. Count me among the stupid.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie wants to trade on atmosphere more than plot, but even the atmosphere rings false.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It may give many viewers a licentious flutter, but the highbrow ingredient -- although it desperately wants to be there -- is missing.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There are some very funny passing lines, but the movie's too uneven to enjoy.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Martin Lawrence is all there is to National Security. And that's about two or three points out of a possible 10
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Dull, plodding comedy.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's hard to tell if this thing's serious or parody and, if it is parody, whether or not it's intentional. Is it a winky joke, for instance, to have lightweight performer George Hamilton as Pacino's business attorney, or just ridiculous casting? Hamilton's performance points to the latter.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Kids who love Pokemon movies are no doubt going to see this movie, and they'll have a blast watching it. Very soon they will become older and more sensible and understand how terrible these movies are.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's so laden with foreboding, you want to get out from under it and gasp for air.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    These storied 13 days feel like the Hundred Years War.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The kid chews up the scenery like a baby T-Rex, egged on, no doubt, by director Agresti.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The Wachowski brothers have rendered their chronicles into banality, as if trying to imitate the qualitative tailspin of the "Star Wars" series.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A picture-book French film that's pretty and trite, rather than edgy and moving.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Laugh? I thought I'd never start.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even the staunchest of golfheads must know they're watching a cut-and-trite accounting.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There were moments when I thought Gone in 60 Seconds might be a passably entertaining movie. I figure those moments, strung end-to-end, would total 30 or 40 seconds.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    They go about scaring you, but only in the most hackneyed and cheap-shock manner.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although this script starts off with great zest, it's ultimately a disappointment.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's about as deep as electronic white noise.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Honey's a little too darling for reality but, obviously, that's not what this candy-cane vehicle of a movie is all about. It's about the way Alba moves and how good she looks when she's backlighted and smiling.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Far too slick and manufactured to claim street credibility.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    So taken with its own love of cinema, it forgets to lead you down the necessary dramaturgical path to make you fall in love, too.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    I would rather have a more interesting group of desperate people to spend my post-apocalyptic time with.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A crashing letdown.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The gags are physical but rarely funny.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film oozes sentimentality, soap-opera bathos and clumsy cribbings from the Frank Capra book of small-town values. Those are its good points.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Despite its intelligent agenda, swollen heart and fabulously epic surface, amounts to a didactic banality: a white guy's politically correct lesson abroad.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A special-effects extravaganza that uses the barest of excuses to bring these characters together.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Saw
    But humans who live above ground, including horror fans, will find themselves only fitfully entertained and more consistently appalled.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although it contains many visually compelling passages and some provocative moments, the movie is strangely banal and simplistic.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If you're going to make a gross-out comedy you can't just be gross. You've got to be to be funny as well, or the movie will be DOA. Which is why Eurotrip should be toe-tagged and shoved into the deepest and coldest of video vaults.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie just doesn't match its predecessors.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is a predictable, gruesome piece of business.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    For the most part, the film's a bewildering disappointment.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's nothing authentic about this London lad ... Nothing particularly likable either.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even by Disney's formulaic standards -- is about as cut and dried as the phone book.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    As it stands, this movie seems to have conflicting desires: to endear itself to the audience and then repel it.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Roll past this casino.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There seem to be about a half-dozen spiraling subplots that go nowhere in particular. But it's oh so hiply done -- at least, that's the idea.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A disappointingly dull thud of a fantasy.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Maybe they should have called A Love Song for Bobby Long something more appropriately descriptive, such as "When Actors Imitating Southern Characters Go Bad."
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This vainglorious biopic about Bobby Darin is really about what the '60s pop singer and actor means to Kevin Spacey.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The muddy, convoluted story revolves around the star's cool-guy poses and one-liners.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Very young children, it should be said, probably won't have any problem with the movie. It's bright and perky on the surface. But for anyone mature enough to pay closer attention, it's going to fall short of expectations.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The firefighting equivalent of an Army recruitment commercial.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Perhaps they should have called this "Bore-a, Bore-a, Bore-a."
    • 68 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    While director Aronofsky pistol-whips your attention with his style, the characters (mostly relegated to human mannequins in Aronofsky's visual schemes) suffer big time.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Gets more operatically farcical (most of it unintentionally so) by the minute.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The result: an empty comedy that takes hackneyed potshots at consumerism.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Absolutely awesome in its relentless mediocrity.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's something secondhand about everything here. Hoge (this is his debut) seems to be mimicking the tone and fabric of other, better indie movies.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    These dramatic shortfalls make us merely worried that two human beings are in danger, but not two compelling souls. There's your missing ingredient, the human X-factor.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It tries unsuccessfully to make a wry gumshoe noir out of an overarching, cross-sectional political diagram.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's nothing to recommend about this film except its sheer innocuousness. And Bill Murray's off-screen voicing as Garfield adds no "Robin Williams" element to the movie.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Everything is tearful confessions, angry interrogations and breakups. But there's nothing underneath.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Needs more than happy thoughts to get off the ground.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story, which features an apparently lobotomized Guy Pearce as an opportunistic explorer and hunter who learns the errors of his ways, is deeply dull.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film degenerates into an overly simplistic satire -- with moon-worshiping, Guatemala-visiting, lesbian aborters on one side, and fetally obsessive, meat-eating, gun-toting Jesus worshipers on the other.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Stumbles mindlessly in all directions.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    An overwrought gangster fable.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's no question the movie's entertaining. But the blatantly schematic depictions of black and white, liberal and hawk, and other tiresome dichotomies turn A Time to Kill into the moral equivalent of a cockfight.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Penn, who also wrote the script, burdens the story with so many self-indulgent side developments that he loses emotional drive and Freddy's desperate obsession gets lost in the shuffle.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    As if aware that Congo is the least interesting adventure ever filmed, screenwriter John Patrick Shanley (who once wrote a funny movie called "Moonstruck") tries to inoculate the activities with humor.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's an eroticism of nastiness -- triple-X fare for dirty old men in raincoats. If you resist this sleazy gorefest, you'll be right to feel proud of yourself.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A brightly wrapped, ketchup-drenched mush-burger, it slides down the Zeitgeist esophagus like a slippery McPelican. You pay, you swallow, you drive home. You're left with nothing except, possibly, heartburn.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Roos and director Herbert Ross pave the long and grinding road to self-fulfillment with miles and miles of counterfeit poignancy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's as pretentious and wispy as its title.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Its heart is vaguely in the right place.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The script's a plodder, and the acting's unbearably stilted. The movie's intentions are like the starry constellations that inspire the eponymous hero: out of reach.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's a glossified, cluttered parody of itself. Almodovar is no longer a burlesque auteur. He's a repeat offender.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Never was this funny a comedian in this horrible a movie.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    After watching this movie, which stars Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, Kathy Bates and Gabriel Byrne, I was moved only to find my own bridge to leap from.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Reprises all the tedium of slasher flicks.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    It's a diatribe from beginning to end.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    It's hard to believe the creative mind that gave us "Almost Famous," "Jerry Maguire," "Say Anything" and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" looked up with satisfaction after typing 117 pages of this.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The comic equivalent of microwaved leftover food -- and pretty stale at that.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Sitting through this is groan-inducing enough, but it's spiritually depressing to watch Djimon Hounsou, who deserves better.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    You won't feel enlightened, just let down
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Intentionally defies categorization and explication.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Although the hallmarks of Rudolph movies can be found everywhere -- they don't add up to the usual magic this time.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A conceptual train wreck, with half an idea scattered like disaster debris all over the screen.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A fast-paced, twisty-turny, high-fiving, but ultimately spiraling disaster of a movie about air traffic controllers, gets lost in this hyperbolic cloud cover, never to be found again.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    If this sounds like "Tootsie" with a ball, well, it is. Screenwriter Bradley Allenstein should be hauled up in writer's court for his shameless cribbing of that far superior comedy. Someone call a foul.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    There's little here to offend anyone, and even less here to excite anyone.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The story moves so slowly and obviously, you don't even need to be in the theater very much (or your living room when the video comes out) to follow it.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Pfarrer's screenplay feels older than the Martian hills.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    We're only a little spooked, only a little amused and, by extension, only a little entertained.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    I'd give this movie about half a miracle.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    There's something so familiar and commonplace about this story and its characters...it's hard to get particularly thrilled.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The movie that Disney uses to explore this premise drips with so much corporate good-neighbor syrup, you might want to wear something waterproof. And Penn's performance is, at best, ripe for discussion.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Essentially an extended cutesy session.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Heaven forbid a Hollywood romantic movie have any narrative surprises.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    You can laugh with or without irony. Or you can simply stay away.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Unromantic, nonsexual and hellaciously dull.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    They (De Niro, Burns) look good together. But what a staggering pity they chose such a nasty, hackneyed movie to demonstrate their chemistry.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A galactic slump of a movie that stuffs its travel bag with special effects but forgets to pack the charm.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A bad, unimaginative story posing pretentiously as the very opposite.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Feels razor thin. None of the characters is particularly noteworthy. And the revelations of deep-seated conspiracy in the usual privileged, closed circles are hackneyed and tired.

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