Desson Thomson
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For 1,630 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 49% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Desson Thomson's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 Russian Ark
Lowest review score: 0 Half Baked
Score distribution:
1,630 movie reviews
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Allen, who's a natural charmer, seems to be at half-strength here.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Stumbles and screeches on for an interminable two hours.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The movie is less than nothing special. The movie veers between pretentiousness (oh, the plight of the instant, start-up Artist) and vacuousness.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    The best thing about the movie is its personable, amusing cast, all members of the five-man comedy troupe Broken Lizard. There's a chemistry among them, which obviously comes from having been together as comedians at Colgate University.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Shallow Hal makes the case for restricting the Farrellys to mere gross-out movies.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    It's a warm bath experience, soap-sudsed with sentimentality, improbability and other storytelling misdemeanors.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Tatum, the hunky object of Amanda Bynes's fancy in "She's the Man," and an engaging basketballer in "Coach Carter," is the best thing about this uninspired formula-thon.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    There's grist here for a genuinely stirring film. But writer-director Bruce Beresford -- who created the screenplay from interviews with real-life World War II prisoners (who also performed music for the Japanese) -- reduces everything to its most uninteresting banality. [18Apr1997 Pg. N.44]
    • Washington Post
    • 48 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    Aside from the plot -- and if you can figure out the plot, the CIA's special projects unit wants to talk to you -- Cop II is a rarity: a sequel that's as good as the original, if not better.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    In drama, and just about everything else, almost is never enough. Which is why Martian Child, about the growing bond between an adult and child, never reaches us.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    This is a movie for people more interested in the subject matter than its dramatic presentation.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Strikes an unsatisfying balance between serious romantic texture and outright farce.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    xXx
    Essentially a dumb guy's day in Heaven. The movie's retrofitted with stunts, fights, explosions, drugs, babes and cars -- not necessarily in that order.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie just doesn't match its predecessors.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Maybe they should have called A Love Song for Bobby Long something more appropriately descriptive, such as "When Actors Imitating Southern Characters Go Bad."
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A Mexican movie in which the outcome is never in doubt, the scenes are endless -- sorry, we meant poetic-- and the false beard on the central character's face looks as though it could use a little extra gum.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    A romper that doesn't shy away from sexual frankness or Mediterranean laissez faire.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Fans of bubbly romances can consider this a thumbs up. I call it a clenched-teeth concession at best.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Watching this movie, you also have to ask yourself: Just how many acts of self-inflicted finger amputations do I really want to see?
    • 47 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    This Matt Perry vehicle is funnier than anyone could hope to expect.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    An ambitious, experimental mess of a movie in search of something more profound.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    An entertaining affair whose wild-card creativity never ceases to surprise.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The Wachowski brothers have rendered their chronicles into banality, as if trying to imitate the qualitative tailspin of the "Star Wars" series.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    The movie refuses to descend into the cute smarminess of a mutual recovery drama, thanks to originally conceived characters. We're always wondering -- and wonderfully surprised -- by their choices.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Trust me, you'll want to leave these people to get on with their tedious scams alone.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    Elle fans will likely ignore the narrative shortcomings in favor of a well-loved character.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The firefighting equivalent of an Army recruitment commercial.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This saved-by-an-angel story is redeemed mostly by Smith's comic instincts.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Awash in hackneyed old-time secrets and hydrophobic metaphor, never consumes us as it should.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There are some very funny passing lines, but the movie's too uneven to enjoy.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Adult humor in kiddie films -- of which there is plenty in The Wild -- is not only welcome but, for many adult viewers, essential.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Crash doesn't extend beyond its most immediate sensationalism. When the movie does attempt to find a theme, it slams into a brick wall of mumbo-jumbo.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The special twist-which Paramount Pictures has implored critics not to divulge-redefines the story completely. It also ruins everything.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The best thing about Murder at 1600? Speed of exposition. Directed by Dwight Little, who made Steven Seagalís "Marked for Death," this thing whizzes from one unbelievable story point to the next. Your suspension of disbelief appreciates the momentum, if nothing else.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    The movie, directed by Simon West isn't bad, although the repeated shots of Campbell lying spread-eagled on the ground, and the amount of detail we're forced to swallow about the horrors she underwent border on the offensive.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    As it stands, this movie seems to have conflicting desires: to endear itself to the audience and then repel it.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is a predictable, gruesome piece of business.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A fast-paced, twisty-turny, high-fiving, but ultimately spiraling disaster of a movie about air traffic controllers, gets lost in this hyperbolic cloud cover, never to be found again.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It tries unsuccessfully to make a wry gumshoe noir out of an overarching, cross-sectional political diagram.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The dialogue and acting are flatter than a punctured ball.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Hollywood Homicide is about murder, all right: the wholesale slaughter of anything funny, original or even vaguely logical.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    These storied 13 days feel like the Hundred Years War.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    Although this film doesn't have the classy quality of The Fugitive, it certainly goes down like an action milkshake. And Jones, one of the most enjoyable actors on the screen, plays himself to the hilt.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Andre Benjamin, Woody Harrelson, Maura Tierney and David Koechner -- all talented -- seem amazingly zombie-like here. And Jackie Earle Haley, as a stoner fan of the Tropics, is more disconcerting than funny.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    Peppy, funny and sensual. If you have to see any romantic comedy that's not directed by Billy Wilder, or written by Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur, this wouldn't be a bad choice.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    First-time filmmaker Jordan Roberts worked on this project for years, but merely ended up with dreary cliche.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Overwritten, overextended and clunkily symbolic
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    One-dimensional archetypes, too much predictability and not enough comedy.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although Ryan is cannily cast against type, she doesn't bring much more than muttery incoherence and nudity to the role.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    What counts is the comic tension between MacLaine and Cage. It's so well done, it doesn't matter how dumb things get.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The only reason to watch this movie is for stargazing, nice shots of the sea and to revel in a world where false promises, lies and empty posturing are actively encouraged.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This vainglorious biopic about Bobby Darin is really about what the '60s pop singer and actor means to Kevin Spacey.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    If Slater were a bigger star, this self-serving vehicle would have been a hoot, a surefire DVD attraction for any Camp Night in the living room, not to mention a shoo-in for one of the 10 worst movies of 2005.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Ultimately, Forces of Nature is more of a lull than a passionate storm.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    You can boost mediocrity a little, but you cannot raise it from the dead.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Hoot may be warm and fuzzy with its adorable owls, triumphant kids and inviting Florida groves. But its forced, innocuous humor is unlikely to amuse anyone but the very young -- and the extremely forgiving.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    A talented comedian, Lawrence has leaned all too easily on formula for his successful films. Imagine if he would test his flair against original and fresh premises, instead of the tried and trite. Why, he'd discover what it's like to take pride, not just profit.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    It's not Christmas that's being stolen here. It's the spirit of Dr. Seuss.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This ethnic family sitcom thing is rapidly turning into wearisome cliche, and American Chai doesn't hold a candle to either "Beckham" or "Greek Wedding."
    • 46 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    It's a brilliant concept, one of Allen's finest. Love the concept, baby. But the execution is, well, average.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Saw
    But humans who live above ground, including horror fans, will find themselves only fitfully entertained and more consistently appalled.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Even though these characters are hogtied by the story's unimaginative conventions, at least their lively interactions feel genuine.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    CJ7
    Its use of minor expletives and a depressing chapter late in the movie will not satisfy parents seeking something sweet and lively for their children; nor will it charm art house audiences up for a smart adult fairy tale.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    An overwrought gangster fable.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    This muttering boatman seems to have lost his old-time heroism. No longer is Rambo killing for a cause, but for kicks. And his portentous blather, even by Rambo standards, becomes unintentionally hilarious.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Penn, who also wrote the script, burdens the story with so many self-indulgent side developments that he loses emotional drive and Freddy's desperate obsession gets lost in the shuffle.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    The movie's entertaining for some wickedly funny situations and witticisms.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    The movie -- adapted from James Patterson's novel by David Klass -- operates on the crime-movie equivalent of automatic pilot. It takes off, flies and lands without much creative intervention.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    This is a movie that knows its audience and realizes it doesn't need much of a story to hit that audience, literally, where it lives.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    You can expect to fall about, snort and hoot, at times hard enough to hurt inner body parts that only doctors can identify.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    Big muscular guys pruning roses IS funny and charming.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Another gate-crasher at the let's-do-a-mediocre-update-of-Shakespeare party.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Unfortunately, apart from Downey's convincing contribution, the movie feels too contrived, stagy and inorganic to draw any pleasure.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Like the turtleneck cashmere sweaters and girdles that tie down these promising women, the movie is trite and trussed.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    About as funny as malaria.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    We find ourselves wondering about the real story, not this version.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    The movie is tentative, dramatically speaking...The most powerful moments come at the end -- documentary excerpts of Steve Saint, the son of one of the missionaries, and his friendship with Mincayani, the man who killed his father.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Proof of Life isn't a movie. It's an overpriced scrapbook.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Surprisingly uninvolving, the least effective of Neufeld's Clancy-based movies. Surely he was not looking for this kind of film: one that bombs literally and figuratively.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A bad, unimaginative story posing pretentiously as the very opposite.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Flagging energy isn't the only issue here; Ford has become enslaved in his own cliches.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    It's a pleasant movie, written with care for the characters. But as the film's title suggests, scriptwriter Mark Andrus has made too obvious and clunky a metaphor of George's house.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Weitz co-directed the wonderful "About a Boy" in 2002, but in "Dreamz" -- a tediously facile satire -- his comic instincts fail him.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Overdresses and ultimately abandons what drew us to its 1998 predecessor in the first place: an intimate embrace with history.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    If you're a fan of Witherspoon, this movie was produced, shot, edited and distributed entirely for you.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    The reunion is fun and frantic, like the original on double nitro.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    For all the filmmakers' efforts, this project is something of an artistic albatross. It's a conundrum that doesn't get answered until a sort of help-the-audience Cliffs Notes final scene, in which we learn Everything. But by then, more than a few of us may be wondering, was it all really worth the trouble?
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The suspense is laughably absent.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    It's hard to believe the creative mind that gave us "Almost Famous," "Jerry Maguire," "Say Anything" and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" looked up with satisfaction after typing 117 pages of this.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Though Philip Haas's digitally shot film has the firsthand immediacy of such nonfictional docs as "Iraq in Fragments" and "Gunner Palace," its dramatic template feels disappointingly secondhand.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    The only way a self-absorbed treatise like this can get any kind of audience (not to mention distribution) is to cast famous people in it.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    It's too bad the movie's intriguing effect wears off (so to speak) about two-thirds through.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If you're going to make a gross-out comedy you can't just be gross. You've got to be to be funny as well, or the movie will be DOA. Which is why Eurotrip should be toe-tagged and shoved into the deepest and coldest of video vaults.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even the staunchest of golfheads must know they're watching a cut-and-trite accounting.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    Delivers the entertaining goods without fuss or frills.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Dramatically lackluster.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    Mad City is for those who haven't seen enough movies about hostage situations. It's also for those who haven't seen enough ponderous movies about media exploitation, or Dustin Hoffman's ongoing reliance on muttery method acting.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Nobody likes a fixed fight, except the backroom boys making the deal. Which is why The Break-Up may have its share of laughs, but isn't much fun.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    It is the verdict of this court that it be led to a stockade reserved exclusively for cheap, pandering movies and duly shot.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie wants to trade on atmosphere more than plot, but even the atmosphere rings false.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    The movie's a floating longboat that ought to be ignited and pushed out to sea, Viking style.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Clearly enamored with the endearing brand of drawly sarcasm for which Thornton has become known, the filmmakers aren't sure whether to paint Dr. P as an uncompromising villain or a mischievous teddy bear. The upshot is that Dr. P's most menacing aspect is Thornton's rather obvious hairpiece.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Is Meg Ryan going to play the goofy romantic gal forever?
    • 44 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    At the risk of eternal damnation on the Internet, I admit to laughing at -- even feeling momentarily touched by -- Rush Hour 3.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Should have never made it up the distribution aisle.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    This is not a fantastic movie. But there's more to it than just an MTV-slickified "Midnight Express" starring two young, photogenic stars.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Perhaps they should have called this "Bore-a, Bore-a, Bore-a."
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In Chaos Theory, Reynolds's performance is taut, crabby and tense. And his beard and glasses, which intensify those already narrow eyes, suggest a mad bomb-builder rather than a hapless soul with whom we can identify.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The Jacket is doing nothing but sampling elements of "Jacob's Ladder," "The Silence of the Lambs" and "Memento" without offering more than hackneyed solutions, including a rather cheesy conclusion.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In their desire to humanize the big story, director John Boorman and screenwriter Ann Peacock ... have resorted to groan-inducing cliches and clunky narrative.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    Castro remains the star of the show. You can't stop watching him.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    One mediocre, ploddingly predictable film, loaded down with cheesy Hollywood tactics.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The problem with this movie is the problem with most Renny Harlin movies: There's an excessive amount of excess -- a mind-numbing plurality of firearm battles, vehicular explosions and brutally frank sexual talk.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Drowning in uncharted waters and way off-center in any world.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    The episodes are too convoluted to get into.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    No darn good.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Performances feel too manufactured to be charming.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    It's hardly the best film in the world but you can have fun with it.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    For the most part, the film's a bewildering disappointment.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The mawkishness is ultimately too formidable.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It doesn't help matters that The Libertine seems to unload every olde English cliche on file.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    May be ambitious in its genre-defying abandon, sideswiping science fiction, satire, film noir and melodrama along the way, but it's also exasperatingly convoluted, self-amused and politically sophomoric.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Never transports you to another place and time, as it intends to.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    Terrifically funny romantic comedy, is a slam-dunk for Julia Roberts, the Michael Jordan of cuteness.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This adaptation of James Hadley Chase's "Just Another Sucker" isn't so bad you'd want to roast it over the coals, but it ain't much good either.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Although this film about a zebra who aspires to win horse races has a marvelous premise, it slows to a mediocre canter right out of the starting gate.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Throughout, Garner retains a permanent grimace, as if persuasive acting can be achieved by contorting cheek muscles and pouting lips. It's not just depressing to watch; it's tiring. We want to tell her to relax -- for our own relief.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Feels patently inauthentic.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film oozes sentimentality, soap-opera bathos and clumsy cribbings from the Frank Capra book of small-town values. Those are its good points.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Never did sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll seem more shopworn and routine.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Only fitfully amusing. More often, it feels like a mediocre attempt to reprise the central elements of the infinitely funnier "Napoleon Dynamite."
    • 43 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    The funniest scenes involve Jim and his father, thanks to the brilliant, improvisational skills of Eugene Levy.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie doesn't have the energy to be truly horrible. It's too muted and enervated. But it's a somewhat tedious thing to sit through.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Although the movie has a few interesting twists and turns, its mind-versus-mind conceit devolves into a mundane warden-versus-inmate conclusion.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    But by the end of the movie -- which seems to last longer than the Crusades -- all the good stuff has dissipated.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Unfortunately, "Youth" becomes so lost in its own conceptual, convoluted vortex, it becomes virtually incomprehensible. Coppola proves that even the best of our film artists can lose sight of what this medium is all about: entertaining, enlightening and including its audience.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Between them, Clooney and Kidman would still need a third party to work up a personality. In fairness to both, they aren't given much to work with.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    If you do not bring pride, good taste or sense to this third American Pie installment, you'll have a good time.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Has its moments of fun, many of them having to do with Reilly's deadpan comic style. But the movie lacks the original edge of its better predecessors.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Unaccompanied Minors, a sort of junior league version of "The Breakfast Club," never achieves the universal appeal of John Hughes's 1985 film about youth and authority.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The script's a plodder, and the acting's unbearably stilted. The movie's intentions are like the starry constellations that inspire the eponymous hero: out of reach.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    You could be forgiven for thinking -- occasionally -- that you just stumbled into "The Silence of the Apes."
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    It's really weird. Has its share of visceral surprises. Slightly predictable and dumb when all is said and done.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    The movie's great fun, particularly for kids used to that satirically hard-edged kind of kid show.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If ever there was a movie fit for permanent entombment, it's this sequel.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Cut-and-dried sci-fi thriller.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    Amazingly stilted before accelerating into its exciting finish.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Nothing more, or less, than a cheap, dirty grab at our Christmas spirit.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Enough to make any thinking person want to shoot a hole in the screen.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Stumbles right out of the gate and never regains its footing. It's sad to see a gifted comedian like Janeane Garofalo trying, but failing, to anchor this mediocre affair.
    • Washington Post
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    An insipid potboiler set against the far more enticing surf and sand of Oahu's North Shore.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    By introducing silly elements into a serious endeavor, the filmmakers undercut their own movie. In the end, we're watching a somewhat exploitative movie about exploitation.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Too lightweight and streamlined to be memorable.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A serious been-there-done-that number.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A cold, protracted and unemotional affair.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The result: an empty comedy that takes hackneyed potshots at consumerism.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Only reason to watch this: the grisly reward Irving receives for being in this picture.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    It needs a wooden stake AND a silver bullet through its script.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A galactic slump of a movie that stuffs its travel bag with special effects but forgets to pack the charm.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    There are some very thought-provoking points, and the movie deserves a balanced listening-to.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    Such a bizarre movie that it has completely occupied my thinking for days. Not because it's a good movie, mind you. It's more like the equivalent of a botched tooth extraction with a coat hanger. Some bloody shard remains stuck in an inflamed, fleshy part of my psyche, and it's going to take some serious tugging and tearing to root it out.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Forgettable the instant it strafes your retinas.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Dismal. Lame. Not funny.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even by the low-low standards of cheap action flicks, this one's bad, boys.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's uninspired and insipid all the way.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Lacks that outrageous effrontery that might have socked it to its intended audience.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    I'm guessing even die-hard "Clerks" fans will find this only-in-America stuff only partially satisfying, like something they gorged on at the Eatery, then wished they hadn't.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Never the magic charmer it sets out to be.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is so wearying in its mediocrity, the inappropriate Ronica almost registers as dramatic relief.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    Don't even rent the DVD, it'll only encourage them.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    That mind-bending, mystical business was better handled in such films as 1990's "Jacob's Ladder."
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    While Phenomenon attempts, tritely, to ascend into mind-blowing significance, it also plummets into a pit of sentimental mush.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Its title may ring with pun and promise, but Stoned is a flat riff on Jones's short life. You'll get the highlights but no sense of what made him special -- or what really haunted him.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Never was this funny a comedian in this horrible a movie.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    McConaughey remains more buffed than compelling. He's not helped by a two-hour convolution of episodes that are too busy imitating other, better movies.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Has its sinfully funny moments. Funny, that is, if you appreciate a certain cynical clamminess -- or Buck Henry seediness -- to your comedy.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Far too slick and manufactured to claim street credibility.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Not surprisingly, everything feels begged, borrowed and stolen from other better movies, from Quentin Tarantino's exclamation-point violence to the slo-mo bullet trajectory shots from "The Matrix."
    • 41 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    The central story, in which Helms has to make up his mind whether to attend his sister's funeral, is too limited a conflict to hang a movie on. Ultimately, audiences will have to satisfy themselves with the collective presence of these actors and the movie's obviously good-hearted intentions.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Laugh? I thought I'd never start.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    With a premise as cavalier as this, perhaps director and co-writer James Wong could have found a tone more original than post-Wes Craven cynicism. Instead, he panders to viewers, allowing them to take gleeful comfort in the destruction of the stupid and doomed.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    You'll be rooting for these people to get slaughtered out of sheer boredom.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Has so little going for it, you wonder if you've missed something.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Evolution is bad. How bad? Who cares? Do you ask how hot the fire is before running out of a burning building? No, you just run for safety.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    David Hogan keeps the action moving and loaded with fights, gun battles and other action-trashy thrills. Lee is terrific.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    A well-intentioned, reverential but unenlightening portrait. It pays tribute to the artist. Yet it doesn't scrutinize him.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    Lawrence's material runs between mediocre and offensive, and then he rescues it with his physical humor. He's at his best when he lets his face or inflection do the talking.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    Isn't just for music fans. It's more accessible than that, thanks to Joel Schumacher's bright direction and a few storytelling embellishments.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    This "Four" ain't so "Fantastic."
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    It's too bad about the ending because, until then, Pay It Forward... is Hollywood feel-goodism at its best.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A snooze, despite all the sex and other gunplay.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    It's clear this sequel (directed by Darren Lynn Bousman) doesn't have the same smartness (I speak relatively) of the original. Nonetheless, "Saw" fans can still look forward to involuntary incineration, wrist and throat slashing, bullets through brains and the bashing of someone's head with a nail-festooned club.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    The driving drama of such a desperate situation is lost in the movie's casting silliness.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A conceptual train wreck, with half an idea scattered like disaster debris all over the screen.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This is all about getting your life back on course before you can fall in love. Which isn't such a bad idea for a movie, as long as there's something more. Unfortunately, there isn't.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Williams is hardly at his comically inventive best. And the script (adapted by Chris Van Allsburg, and a string of others, from his book) pursues the least exciting avenues possible.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Its heart is vaguely in the right place.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    An intriguing idea for about two seconds.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    It's just respectable trash, and a dress rehearsal for better things ahead.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    The racial angle becomes the tiresome basis of almost every joke.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Sitting through this is groan-inducing enough, but it's spiritually depressing to watch Djimon Hounsou, who deserves better.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    An easy-on-the-sensibilities family film, Eddie Murphy practically assumes the easygoing manner of Mister Rogers, a character he used to wickedly lampoon on "Saturday Night Live."
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This is for the pre-converted, certainly not the left, or even those who consider themselves detached observers.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    [Gere] seemed to be improvising his way from beginning to end, like he was disgusted with the actual script.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Newman's cuteness aside, this movie feels long-winded.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Enjoyable in some places, but dreadful in others. It's boring here and exciting there. And it's almost always goofy.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Makes the mistake of including too sweeping a scope in too small a movie and with too few resources.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    None of the characters are compelling, despite the star-studded vocal cast behind them, including Madonna, Robert De Niro, Snoop Dogg and Jimmy Fallon. Our attitude toward them is casual interest, not anxious concern.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    If P.S. I Love You proves anything, it's that Hilary Swank may be a great actress, but she can't do cute.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    Seems like a pretty cool movie -- at least, for a remake of a 1970s Saturday morning TV show.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    A disaster of a drama, saved only by its winged assailants. You know a picture's in trouble when you find yourself rooting for humankind to lose.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    An uneven collection of bodily function jokes, facial gyrations, sexual jibes and pedestrian slapstick, Dumb and Dumber appears to have been conceived by the leading lugheads themselves.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    I'd recommend you actively or passively forget this one.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Kettle of Fish, starring Matthew Modine as a commitment-skittish saxophone player, is a warm-spirited romantic comedy, but it tends to have a squawky pitch.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    Leadenly directed and almost soberly scripted, it never captures the campy brightness of the original series -- the herky-jerky animation, the wacky sound effects, the distinctive character voices and that cheesy laugh track.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This adaptation of the underground comic strip is mostly unfabulous.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Taking Lives would have to work nights to reach mediocrity.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The muddy, convoluted story revolves around the star's cool-guy poses and one-liners.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    After the disastrous "Mixed Nuts," her last holiday season folly, Ephron appears to have hunkered down for a career of pandering mediocrity.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    Doesn't deserve the energy it takes to describe how bad it is.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Just like "Bad Boys," only louder, longer and the stars get paid more.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Tries -- and fails -- to evoke that whoa-did-this-really-happen edge.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Possibly the worst thug-life flick to be released in the past 72 hours, this movie sags under the weight of the bling-bling cliches strung around its headless neck.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Director Howard is so mesmerized by the flames, he squirts formulaic lighter fluid over everything. A conflagration of hyped-up movie cliches, courtesy of George Lucas's Industrial Light & Magic special effects shop, scalds your face.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This movie is a particular disappointment. Although The Seeker is in Walden's tradition of positive storytelling, John Hodge's script is guilty of downright goofy utterances on occasion.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Intended as a fuzzy family fable, "August" plays more to the gag reflex than to the heart, especially when our little orphan starts playing the guitar like a virtuoso after what seems like a three-minute tutorial.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    The movie isn't exactly providing entertaining escape. In fact, the only escape on your mind is going to be the exit door.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The exuberance of the Rugrats seems nullified by the effete quirkiness of the Thornberrys.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    Not about good storytelling, but it knows to turn up the volume, cut to dizzying closeups of driver's eyes as they negotiate dangerous bends and indulge its audience in the soul slaps, fanny grabs and head nods that govern this racing lifestyle.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    The storyline is so familiar ("Cheaper by the Dozen," et al), the audience can practically call out scenes ahead of time.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    If ever there was a case for quitting while you're behind, this "Blade" is it -- ready to be buried in a vat of garlic.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    How much you enjoy this movie depends on how funny you find Sandler talking out the side of his mouth with a gravelly squawk -- for the entire movie.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    They go about scaring you, but only in the most hackneyed and cheap-shock manner.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    The result is astoundingly boring and, frankly, tedious to sit through.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    At its worst (and this is where Made of Honor comes in), it can leave you with a bad taste, not just in your mouth but in your soul.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    Treat this project as you would a safari: It has its slow parts but the wildlife makes it worthwhile.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Feels like "Alien" as directed by Jim Henson. And the suspense is restricted to mundane slasher-movie tactics, including the frequent use of a mobile camera (call it the ’condacam) that’s supposed to represent the snake’s point of view.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Where there was effortless cool in the first movie, there is nothing but manufactured posing here.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Dull, plodding comedy.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Too infuriatingly quirky and taken with its own style to get down to telling a story.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A longwinded, predictable scenario.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    This isn't real life. It isn't even a movie. It's an extended sitcom. And for the first time in your life, you'll actually beg for commercials.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    Essentially, Chuck & Larry is an oafish chance for audiences to laugh at gay-bashing jokes and then feel morally redeemed for doing so -- courtesy of an obligatory wrap-up scene that reminds us that homosexuals are humans, too.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's something secondhand about everything here. Hoge (this is his debut) seems to be mimicking the tone and fabric of other, better indie movies.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    So dull and awful, you actually wonder if this is some kind of Andy Kaufmanesque in-joke, a deliberate attempt to douse the spark that made the original film so enjoyable.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Honey's a little too darling for reality but, obviously, that's not what this candy-cane vehicle of a movie is all about. It's about the way Alba moves and how good she looks when she's backlighted and smiling.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Clearly targeted at Christians looking to reaffirm their faith. Its chances of crossover success with the secular crowd seem remote, given the dramatic shortcomings.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    If you're looking to take your children to something harmless, that doesn't embarrass anyone, this light comedy (a gentle parody of those "Behind the Music" specials on cable TV) is your next outing.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    With the exception of a few enjoyable action scenes, such as when Aeon and fellow operative Sithandra (Sophie Okonedo) flip and backflip their way across a lethal garden of bullet-spewing trees and spikes disguised as blades of grass, Aeon Flux is surprisingly draggy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    Consider the title your best advice.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    The movie, based on the TV cartoon series, is exceptionally pleasant, and there's just enough humor to make it enjoyable for adults.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    While you're enduring the usual formulaic yada yada -- at least there are yuks to enjoy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Abomination of a movie.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    To enjoy it, however, you have to do the mental equivalent of squinting your eyes, so the credibility is only fuzzily ridiculous.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    Maestro is for people already aware of this history. For everyone else, this is pretty much invitation-only.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Intentionally defies categorization and explication.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A secondhand action movie that retreads all the tired staples of the 1980s and '90s.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's more bathroom and slapstick humor than a sixth-grader could stand, and a veritable flood of drool, blood and less mentionable effluvia, most of it courtesy of Mr. Wayans as he tries to be – you know – funny.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    If the ultimate goal is entertainment, then Lady in the Water enthusiastically rises to the task. In a movie laden with enough symbolism, shamanism and mythic lore to make Joseph Campbell dance a tribal jig, Shyamalan never forgets to have fun.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Death Sentence, directed by "Saw" co-creator James Wan, swings the pendulum too far. One day Nick is a mild-mannered nerd who spends his days making (and loving) risk assessments for his company; the next, he's Travis Bickle from 1976's "Taxi Driver."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    This David Spade comedy breaks an ankle, ruptures several knee ligaments and hits the dirt harder than a felled linebacker. Best thing you can do for this movie? Leave it writhing in the throes of forced humor.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Horror fans will twitch impatiently at those long stretches between killings. And audiences anticipating a feature-length "Girls Gone Wild" video will suffer withdrawal from the lack of loosened bra straps.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    Things become almost too strange and convoluted to handle. The story's dramatic effectiveness starts to seriously malfunction. The fascinating and the mysterious become the silly and occasionally comical.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If only The Reaping had the decency to be coherent.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Burke's face is impressively scaly, his head is adorned with shorn horns. He makes a great monster. If only he had a better movie to growl in!
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    There's something so familiar and commonplace about this story and its characters...it's hard to get particularly thrilled.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    The performances take the movie to a higher level.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    Lazily written and hopelessly miscast.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    KEN, KEN, KEN, not another Shakespeare, pleeeeeeez.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 60 Desson Thomson
    By its own deliriously rock-bottom standards, "Universal" ain't half bad. Of course, you have to be big on bloody slaughter, kickboxing, infrared gunning and impaired acting. But "Universal" executes its subtle-free mission with surprisingly watchable efficiency.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    In Adrian Lyne's latest monstrosity, love takes on money -- and loses. Not necessarily in the story, of course. This is a Hollywood movie. I'm talking between the lines.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's as pretentious and wispy as its title.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Keeps you hanging on until the very last moment, not because it's scary, but because you can't believe that's all there is to it.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A jarring amalgam of sitcom goofiness and uncomfortable ooginess.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Doesn't anyone get sick of this same old routine?
    • 35 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    As cliche-ridden horror films go, Hide and Seek builds a pretty darn good mousetrap.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There were moments when I thought Gone in 60 Seconds might be a passably entertaining movie. I figure those moments, strung end-to-end, would total 30 or 40 seconds.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A fascinating premise. And yet, the movie, directed by Bruce Beresford, never quite blooms.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A special-effects extravaganza that uses the barest of excuses to bring these characters together.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 80 Desson Thomson
    I think you can say that almost everyone watching this will be spellbound, whether they're stupefied by its insanity, more conventionally compelled by the various horrors in store or a combination of both.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    So dull and formulaic, it ought to be leashed and led directly to the doghouse.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Luckily, life (just like the SAT) has its multiple-choice options. You don't actually have to watch this.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    The best movie derived from a violent computer game we've ever seen. You can take or leave that kind of qualified high-five, but, for us, it was a thoroughly entertaining experience. Think of bargain basement "James Bond" amped up into TV den-sittin', mouse-clickin' overdrive. But with human actors.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A second-rate romantic comedy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Lacks the spirit of the previous two, and makes all those jokes about hos and even more unmentionable subjects seem like mere splashing around in the muck.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Pfarrer's screenplay feels older than the Martian hills.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It sinks so deep and fast, you don't even see bubbles on the surface.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    They (De Niro, Burns) look good together. But what a staggering pity they chose such a nasty, hackneyed movie to demonstrate their chemistry.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A loud, standard-issue sci-fi action film that has a confusing mission.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    Tedious.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This is definitely a family trip to stay home and skip.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 50 Desson Thomson
    Entertainment more suitable for the living room than the movie theater.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Desson Thomson
    If it were the last videotape available in the only video store in the remotest corner of Alaska, I'd take one last slug of Jack Daniels and start walking directly into the howling snows.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 10 Desson Thomson
    This one's for Silverstone fans only.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    There's little here to offend anyone, and even less here to excite anyone.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Desson Thomson
    You can laugh with or without irony. Or you can simply stay away.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story is more undead than all of these revenant shufflers. And the orgy of gore and home-engineered special effects doesn't make up for the shortfall.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    What isn't so fascinating is this movie's absurdity of motivation. No one does anything that makes sense. No one seems real. When the actual perpetrator is uncovered, there is no enlightenment as to why the killing occurred.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Head-scratchingly ordinary, given Schwarzenegger's need to prove he's still a virile (i.e., non-aging) action hero.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 70 Desson Thomson
    Rather than the mad, kinetic video-game vigor you'd expect, the movie proceeds at a more leisurely and methodical gait. I rather liked that.