It has been a long time since I came as close to walking out of a movie as I did with Confessions of a Shopaholic. Not only did I find this production to be irritating, unfunny, and lacking in entertainment value, but I found its underlying slavishness to a culture of consumption to be morally repugnant.

Regardless of how low your expectations are regarding Fired Up!, it will still surprise you, and not in a good way.

12 Rounds is the unholy stepchild of "Die Hard with a Vengeance" and "Speed," starring a man whose lack of range makes Steven Seagal seem nuanced by comparison.

Watching Imagine That, I was beset by a feeling of intense depression. Is this what Eddie Murphy has become?

If there's anything to like about The Bounty Hunter, it's Christine Baranski doing a Joan Rivers impersonation.

95 minutes of unrelieved tedium.

The most depressing thing about this movie is not that it's such a complete waste of time, but that there are people in Hollywood who think this kind of thing is what American movie-goers are interested in seeing.

A lame collection of dumber-than-dumb gags, the quality of Big Fat Liar is on par with that of the worst television sit-com gorged to four times its normal size.

Fox should be paying potential viewers not to walk out of this turkey. The plot has all the depth and originality of a video game without the fun of the interactivity.

The worst action movie of the summer. I liked Bad Boys II a little less, but making the comparison is like distinguishing between a cow turd and a horse turd. And that pretty much sums it up nicely.

There's just one problem: it's not scary and it's not funny...Idle Hands transcends that mundane level of badness into the realm of gross ineptitude.

In a way, it's probably unfair to blame director Tamra Davis exclusively for this debacle. After all, she's toiling in the shadow of a would-be multi-media superstar, making her essentially a hired gun.

Disney has struck once again, taking a passably entertaining cartoon and turning it into a motion picture so lifeless that it's almost unwatchable.

Defined by three characteristics. It is as stupid as a decapitated worm. It is as irritating as a mosquito buzzing around one's head. And it is as funny as "Schindler's List."

A bunch of IQ-challenged characters traipsing through a laughably bad scenario brought to life using silly dialogue, banal direction, and questionable special effects.

It is a cinematic abomination -- a source of embarrassment for everyone involved.

If ever a romantic comedy is going to fail at the box office, this is it. The movie isn't a guy's thing, a girl's thing, or anybody else's thing.

Devoid of life, intelligence, humor, and anything else that could entertain even the most undemanding viewer, this film is a perfect example of something that should have been shipped to landfills, not multiplexes.

Too much of Jason X plays it straight, and that means boredom. Murder and mayhem of this sort quickly becomes monotonous.

If there's a blessing, it's that the sequel isn't appreciably worse than the original - but that's slim praise considering how bad the first one was.

It's a wretched attempt at entertainment, ephemerally redeemed only by the appearance of several attractive girls.

A catastrophe. This motion picture is an embarrassment to all involved.

The result is an atrociously unfunny, unromantic, and unpleasant product.

Tracey Ullman is a bright spot in an otherwise sordid, murky production.

There's no evidence of craftsmanship or energy. Everything, from the plot to the execution, is plodding and obligatory.

This film is an absolute mess.

It's remarkably appropriate that Envy is about turds, because that's what the movie is.

If there's one thing this motion picture proves, it's that "The Naked Gun 33 1/3" wasn't the final insult from a founding ZAZ (Zucker/Abrams/Zucker) member; this is.