Jeannette Catsoulis
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For 949 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 52% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 45% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 2.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jeannette Catsoulis' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 57
Highest review score: 100 Virunga
Lowest review score: 0 The Best and the Brightest
Score distribution:
949 movie reviews
    • 54 Metascore
    • 35 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Whichever side of the aisle you inhabit, you will leave The Iron Lady feeling disgusted; you will also feel cheated - of information, insight or even an identifiable point of view.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Cocaine Cowboys is a tabloid headline, a movie as oppressive and inarticulate as the lives it represents.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A limp urban comedy not nearly as whimsical as its title.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Though the film's final, disturbing image forces race to the forefront and belatedly raises wider issues of persecution, its most controversial suggestion is not that Jesus might have been black but that he might have been a really terrible actor.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A Rubik’s Cube of shifting sexual orientation and elaborate sex fantasies, “Sloppy Seconds” gathers all the accouterments of soft pornography -- cheesy music, low-rent acting and attractively framed genitals -- into a plot of stunning imbecility.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    National Lampoon’s Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj harnesses smut and silliness to an oddly innocent tale of true love.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A limp sci-fi comedy with fewer laughs than a meeting of Abductees Anonymous.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    This dissociation leaves the supporting cast to its own devices, with no one suffering more than the appealing Eva Mendes as Johnny's true love, Roxanne. If Ms. Mendes ever finds a director willing to allow her to perform with her shirts fully buttoned, there will be no stopping her.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A tiresome blend of overacting and underwriting, The Salon moves from one predictable conversation to another -- the lack of available black men, the wondrousness of Bill Clinton -- without originality or comic rhythm.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Rehashing characters and plots from the "Law & Order" playbook, the director, Rafal Zielinski, supplements his material with religious iconography and more gauzy close-ups than a Barbra Streisand marathon.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Sweetness and whimsy fill the screen to capacity in I'm Reed Fish, a rural coming-of-age tale that's so laid-back that its cast is almost horizontal.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The movie has been thoroughly eclipsed by "Captivity" the marketing.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Arriving as inevitably as puberty, Bratz introduces the swollen-headed, fashion-addicted dolls of the title to a live-action movie.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Underdog may have been originally created to sell cereal for General Mills, but this latest incarnation couldn't sell Frisbees at a dog park.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Luridly earnest and laughably immoral, Illegal Tender is an old genre movie with a new look. Call it Hispanixploitation.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The writer and director, Joby Harold, claims to have been inspired to write the film while suffering from a particularly painful kidney stone. Watching it may be for some a comparable experience.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The film version is now being granted a limited release. Exactly how limited will depend on your tolerance for tasteless behavior, extravagant overacting and a decibel level to rival the unveiling of Oprah’s Favorite Things.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A poker-faced puzzle whose biggest shock is the absence of Sarah Michelle Gellar.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The movie speeds up and slows down as though controlled by a director in the grip of competing medications. For those who make it to the final beatdown, however, the only pill worth taking is the one that makes you forget.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Harnessing mostly fine actors to a wholly asinine script, the directors, Melisa Wallack and Bernie Goldmann, have created a movie as spineless and dithering as its benighted namesake.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Expelled is an unprincipled propaganda piece that insults believers and nonbelievers alike.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A dreary, interminable drama written and directed by Eva Aridjis, is exactly one-third of a good movie. That third is Frank Wood's beautifully modulated and modest central performance.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    All in all, this is a movie best enjoyed with a snoot full and a morbid disposition.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The movie's amoral momentum is fatally slowed by an acronym-heavy script and flimsy characterizations that offer fine actors -- including Rip Torn as Tom's contemptuous father and Naomie Harris as his missed opportunity -- little to play.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Features annoying characters navigating unbelievable situations.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Soured by its enervated star and uninspired writing, the movie offers only tiny moments of joy, like a hailstorm of gumballs that's unexpectedly magical.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Gives you the creeps, the giggles and the groans in almost equal measure.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Suffers from abusive close-ups, repetitive fight sequences and uninspired demon design.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    There used to be entertainment in the dodging and wit in the scripts; now there’s 3-D.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    According to the press notes, pandorum means “Orbital Dysfunctional Syndrome”; whatever that is, by the end of the movie I was convinced I had caught it.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    As depressing as the résumés of its 9-to-5 characters, The Strip sweats to wring laughs from overworked themes and underwhelming performances.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Alternately rancid and ridiculous, strident and sickly sweet, Our Family Wedding”offers plenty that’s old, borrowed and blue; it’s the something new that’s missing.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A cheapie hostage drama with a lot more swagger than substance, The Killing Jar strains to wring tension from a tired premise and an airless script.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    An unruly mash-up of terrific anecdotes and terrible teeth, grainy film and garish memories, Who Killed Nancy? cares less about investigating a death than about vindicating an accused killer.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    You may not believe it's possible to bore people to death with a film about risking your life, but The Wildest Dream comes shockingly close.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    This witless installment features the usual ultra-slow-motion mayhem and helpful freeze-frames to allow us to admire the extra dimension. Fans will not be happy, however, to learn that Ms. Jovovich is more decently clothed this time around.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A tired mash-up of every men-behaving-badly sitcom ever to grace a third-tier television network, Speed-Dating tries to coax laughs from characters so dated even Eddie Murphy would balk.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Jolene's skin may smell like warm milk to Brad, but to the rest of us it has curdled long before she leaves his bed.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The entire film seems to be happening on the other side of a dirty window - good news for the dreadful computer-generated effects, if not for our eyes.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    This bizarre sort-of satire featuring insane characters doing incomprehensible things might be forgivable if it were even mildly amusing. It's not.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Teeming with smart American humorists - and a passel of Arquettes - all unconditionally admiring. What's astonishing, then, is that not one of them stepped in to dissuade their friend from participating in such an embarrassingly awful project.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    From its "once upon a time" beginning to the anticlimactic end, Footprints remains fatally lodged in La-La Land.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A lackadaisical dive into backwoods barminess and masculine neuroses, this low-budget paean to indoor plumbing and rampant facial hair doesn't unfold so much as unravel.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Anyone looking for the lowdown on haute cuisine will be sorely disappointed: devoid of emotion, context or narrative, the baffling avant-garde techniques and extreme politesse of the lab become oppressively dull.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    As the uniformly annoying characters stumble around, screaming and cursing, we don't give a hoot for their survival. Quite the reverse: we're counting the minutes until the asylum's ghostly inhabitants silence them for good.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    As she learns the value of public schools and pickup trucks, her erstwhile friends in Philadelphia seem happy to be rid of her. By movie's end, you'll feel exactly the same.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    This emotionally manipulative, heavily partial look at the purported link between autism and childhood immunization would much rather wallow in the distress of specific families than engage with the needs of the population at large.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Seriously depleting the skanky-villain bin at central casting, the moronic thriller Gone stars Amanda Seyfried as Jill.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Not even a dewy heroine and a youth-friendly vibe can disguise the essential ugliness at its core: like the bloodied placards brandished by demonstrators outside women's health clinics, the film communicates in the language of guilt and fear.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Without Mr. Roberts and his grinning insouciance, this well-meaning mess would have no heartbeat at all.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Dry as new bank notes and doggedly uncinematic, Simon Yin's $upercapitalist approaches the seamy side of international finance with a story as stale as the subprime meltdown.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Newlyweds are slaughtered, a child kidnapped and a suicide bombing foiled, all of it advanced by chunks of clumsy dialogue and embarrassingly labored acting.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Plagued by clunky action sequences and a porous plot the cast visibly wilts.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    This one-note documentary from Ramona S. Diaz is as hostile to conflict as the group’s songs themselves.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    To borrow RuPaul’s delightful catchphrase, the only possible response to a project like this is to advise it to “sashay away.”
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    An unappealing jumble of sex, regret and hero worship, “Bert Stern” is an odd tribute to brilliance muffled by lust.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Were it not for the charming Patrick Bruel as a no-nonsense security expert and Alice’s unlikely suitor, this spun-sugar concoction would be well nigh unwatchable.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    More focused on philosophy then feeding, “Kiss” marries a mash-up of undead clichés (I know, let’s have another lingering shot of the moon!) to hilariously stilted conversations.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Mr. Kitamura, an action enthusiast who prefers to show rather than tell, seems unaware that the film’s dialogue is laughable, its characters unfathomable and the acting often less than optimal.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Viewed solely as a string of action sequences, Erased delivers the kind of dryly efficient, wearyingly familiar entertainment that already clogs too many of our movie screens.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Pointing at everything and elucidating nothing, Hello Herman arrives freighted with the anti-bullying agenda of its director, Michelle Danner.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Dark, airless and packed with psychological hurt that seems to spring from nowhere, this angry morality play, tucked inside a police procedural, suffers from a crippling lack of back story and characters whose relationships are fraught with unexplained complexity.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    This painfully awkward product fails on almost every level.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Advancing without a single original idea or surprising moment, Austenland seems torn between poking fun at the British and lampooning Austen’s many American fanatics — a riskier enterprise, considering that they’ll be needed to fill theater seats.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    In grabbing for the heart this one-size-fits-all fable sadly ignores the mind.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Like much of Ms. Cody’s work, Paradise plays out in quippy sound bites, only this time they feel entirely unsuited to Lamb’s sheltered background.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The battle scenes are as lacking in heat and coherence as the central love story.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A painfully gauche, galumphing attack on factory farming, meat eating, animal experimentation and human supremacy.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    As artificial as the inseminations it celebrates, Delivery Man is a soggy comedy more focused on stimulating your tear ducts than your funny bone.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The film never finds its dramatic footing. Nor, sadly, its common sense.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    In lieu of tension, the film is stuffed with crazed musical crescendos, amateurish structural feints and pregnant pauses that cry out for the familiar “chu-CHUNG” of a “Law & Order” scene change.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett direct with competence but a dispiriting lack of originality.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    It’s all just so much empty eye candy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Robert Nathan’s Lucky Bastard is a sorry-looking found-footage thriller as unconvincing as its characters’ thrashing orgasms.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Jay Alaimo’s sour tale of suburban greed and marital disappointment, can’t even deliver a temporary high; mired in the blahs, the blues and the midlife crazies, this poor man’s “American Beauty” slowly sucks your will to live.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Maddeningly muddled and frustratingly counterintuitive... the story shuttles between Hong Kong and mainland China without a noticeable gain in logic or reduction in decibels.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Smooth and folksy, it traffics in broad, unchallenged claims that serve a single purpose: to persuade us that the only thing wrong with today’s farming methods is our misinformed perception of them.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    This lifeless adaptation only proves that making entertaining movies out of hard-to-swallow ideas is as challenging as you might think.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Aiming for a moody portrait of psychological distress, Mark Jackson directs with a sluggish pace, an abstract style and a dismal aesthetic that rebuff involvement.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    James Cameron upstages the ocean in Deepsea Challenge 3D, a shallow vanity project that invites us to join him in marveling at his own daring.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    This quivering effort from the director John Erick Dowdle only increases in impenetrability whenever anything mildly curious occurs.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Hilary Brougher’s Innocence (based on Jane Mendelsohn’s 2000 novel) moves to the formulaic beats of the second-rate TV movie, albeit one cloaked in an ultra-glossy sheen.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    This shockingly flabby effort from Mr. Anderson — who, in features like “The Machinist” (2004) and “Session 9” (2001), showed a much surer hand with oppressive atmospheres and troubled psyches — feels as nutty as its characters.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    With its fusty air and glumly earnest performances, this unnecessary reminder of Steven Spielberg’s soppy 2011 staging of another of Mr. Morpurgo’s novels, “War Horse,” is about as entertaining as trench mouth.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Unevenly directed by Isaac Feder, Sex Ed droops.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Saving most of its special-effects pennies until the final five minutes, Hangar 10 struggles to build a science-fiction movie from little more than a ghost of an idea and an infamous location.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Smothered by a storm of visual tics — and the tiniest of nods to “Rear Window” (1954) — any social commentary takes second place to multitasking gimmickry.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The Captive seems tailor-made to explore the psychological damage that a child can suffer over a lengthy confinement, but instead leans too heavily on the chilly desolation of Paul Sarossy’s cinematography. What’s going on in the victim’s mind, or anyone else’s, is as invisible as what lies beneath the snow.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    With a peephole-riddled set and a flashback-heavy screenplay, Black Christmas smothers terror beneath a blanket of unnecessary information, revealing too much and teasing too little.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Tailor-made for those who like their violence multifaceted and their women monosyllabic.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Yawningly directed by Jim Isaac, Skinwalkers is a slavering mess that buries its clunky addiction metaphor beneath a welter of genre clichés, all delivered in extra-slow motion.
    • 9 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Overkill is what Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer do best: as the uncontested titans of the parody genre (with fingers in everything from the “Scary Movie” franchise to the more recent “Epic Movie”) they continue to prove that ridiculing other movies is much easier than making your own.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    The movie offers less gore than the average Band-Aid commercial and fewer scares than the elimination episodes of "Dancing With the Stars."
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A mawkish drama hobbled by a thoroughly unpleasant and uncharismatic lead performance.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Prostitutes are not the only things butchered in The Lodger, a spooky story ruined by lumpen dialogue, cloddish performances and a director and writer (David Ondaatje) oblivious to both.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Boorish, bigoted and borderline pornographic.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Offers agony in a vacuum, a villain without a motive and a hero with more personal problems than lines of dialogue.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    A stunningly witless revival of the infamous British film series about a girls’ boarding school.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    Trafficking in irresponsible inferences and unsupported conclusions, the filmmaker Brent Leung offers himself as suave docent through a globe-trotting pseudo-investigation that should raise the hackles of anyone with even a glancing knowledge of the basic rules of reasoning.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Jeannette Catsoulis
    After a particularly brutal, attention-grabbing start, Breaking Point quickly devolves into a flavorless stew of murder, corruption, blackmail and baby tossing.

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