Joe Morgenstern
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For 1,902 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 57% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.4 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Morgenstern's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 White Material
Lowest review score: 0 The Cat in the Hat
Score distribution:
1,902 movie reviews
    • 46 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    The production's penchant for contrivance is insufferable - not a single spontaneous moment from start to finish - and the boy is so precocious you want to strangle him. It's surely not the fault of Thomas Horn, the remarkable young man who plays him.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    It's shrill in tone, awash in unexamined narcissism - kids are just pretexts for laughs, rather than objects of love - and afflicted by explosive verbal diarrhea. There's simply no base line of normal human activity, let alone intimacy, until the anticouple finally re-examines their anticommitment credo. By then everyone has been so selfish and dislikable that our commitment to the film is lost.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Hitchcock rings false from start to finish.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    For anyone who remembers the "Die Hard" adventures at their vital and exciting best, this film feels like a near-death experience.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Alan Arkin does the best trick, bringing a dollop of humanity to the role of Rance Holloway, the magician who was young Burt's inspiration. Apart from Rance, the whole production is slovenly nonsense, photographed on the cheap with blaring ghastliness. Yet it poses an intriguing mystery. Did the producers appeal to a denominator even lower than common by making their film as dumb as possible, or did it just turn out that way?
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Daisy was written without irony, wit or any grounding in reality. She's a barefooted flower child in a flatfooted fiasco.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Where to begin in describing the awfulness of Annie? Why not with Sandy, Annie’s dog, whose name now connects with the superstorm in this hapless contemporary update of a musical that begged to be left in its 1930s period. Have you ever seen a dog suffer from incompetent direction? This one does, but no more or less so than the human members of the cast, none of whom have any emotional connection with one another, let alone with a standoffish pooch.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Insurgent opens new horizons of repetitiveness, dramatic shapelessness, self-seriousness and a generalized oppressiveness that flows from all of the above as well as from visual clutter, cheerless color, 3-D dimness and plain old bad acting.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Any kind of acting requires courage. Great acting requires formidable courage. Then there’s the dogged courage, spawned by devotion to duty, of wonderful actors like these, doing what they’re asked to do even though they must know that it’s no damned good.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Every now and then, though, a movie comes up with a scene of surpassing stupidity, and then builds from that defining moment to a climax of perfect ineptitude. Life or Something Like It is such an achievement.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    All the same, it's a feat to find the lowest common denominator at 40,000 feet; View From the Top would be perfect as the first in-flight offering of the new Hooters airline.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    An appallingly tedious Hanukkah comedy that must have bubbled up from the Porta Potti of his subconscious.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    If Detroit had produced an equivalent lemon, we might have been seeing the world's first one-wheeled, square-tired car with no cooling system, steering wheel or brakes.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Designed as a disposable commodity, it's a film I'd dispose of with no further ado, except for what it says about minimum standards in a certain tacky niche of the movie business, as well as for what it suggests, in its lunkheaded way, about the perils that marriage may pose.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    How could a major studio -- in this case 20th Century Fox -- put its name on a production with a dim-bulb, tone-deaf script that piles howler on howler? Why couldn't someone save poor Ms. Carey from herself?
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    This comedy is harmless, too, when measured against the vast array of harms that the world has to offer. It's also stupid, strident, witless, pitifully inept and bad for what ails you.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Every so often a movie transcends stupidity and soars into the empyrean of true idiocy. John Q. is such a movie.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Even in the month of January, traditionally a time for movie lovers to expect the worst, this cheapo feature, directed by Shawn Levy, takes the stale cake for witlessness.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Unlike "Dead Man Walking" and many honorable dramas before it, "David Gale" has nothing coherent to say about capital punishment, or anything else. It's a dead film lurching.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    One of the strongest arguments yet for making sequels illegal.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    The worst movie -- all right, the worst allegedly major movie -- of our admittedly young century. More stupefying follies may come, but it's impossible to imagine how they'll beat this one for staggering idiocy, fatuousness or pretension.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    An abomination, impure and simple.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Nothing's alive in this trash-heap travesty of warm-weather entertainment, despite the frenetic pace.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 36 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Domino is a new definition of a snuff movie. It snuffs out every vestige of feeling.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 46 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Hate is too strong an emotion to spend on such a clumsy, bloodless broadside against human foibles in general and American follies in particular.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 26 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    This film bespeaks a truly startling mistrust of the movie audience, and, what's more, a disrespect for the feature film medium. Yes, of course it was conceived as an unpretentious entertainment pitched mainly to girls and young women. Yet that doesn't explain the nightmarish quality of the finished product.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Wild Hogs, which includes a cameo by a live revenant from "Easy Rider," gives a bad name to carpe diem, but could have been worse; the trip might have started from Bangor.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Pay real money to see this feeble fiasco only if you're in the mood for "Groundhog Day" without the laughs.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Life is full of choices, and Halle Berry has made another bad one with Perfect Stranger, a perfectly off-putting thriller.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Certain words should be reserved for special occasions. "Abysmal" is one of them, and Georgia Rule is as special as such occasions get.

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