Joe Morgenstern

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For 1,963 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 57% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.8 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Morgenstern's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lowest review score: 0 Killer Joe
Score distribution:
1,963 movie reviews
    • 57 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Like Thor's hammer, this ersatz epic bludgeons its victims into submission. What's more, it requires them to stare at the source of their punishment through 3-D glasses.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Every now and then a movie's awfulness rises to the level of mystery.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    How much do I loathe this film? A lottico is putting it mildico.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Let's give this ghastly studio comedy a Truthiness in Advertising award, if nothing else.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    The production's penchant for contrivance is insufferable - not a single spontaneous moment from start to finish - and the boy is so precocious you want to strangle him. It's surely not the fault of Thomas Horn, the remarkable young man who plays him.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    It's shrill in tone, awash in unexamined narcissism - kids are just pretexts for laughs, rather than objects of love - and afflicted by explosive verbal diarrhea. There's simply no base line of normal human activity, let alone intimacy, until the anticouple finally re-examines their anticommitment credo. By then everyone has been so selfish and dislikable that our commitment to the film is lost.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Hitchcock rings false from start to finish.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    For anyone who remembers the "Die Hard" adventures at their vital and exciting best, this film feels like a near-death experience.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Alan Arkin does the best trick, bringing a dollop of humanity to the role of Rance Holloway, the magician who was young Burt's inspiration. Apart from Rance, the whole production is slovenly nonsense, photographed on the cheap with blaring ghastliness. Yet it poses an intriguing mystery. Did the producers appeal to a denominator even lower than common by making their film as dumb as possible, or did it just turn out that way?
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Daisy was written without irony, wit or any grounding in reality. She's a barefooted flower child in a flatfooted fiasco.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Where to begin in describing the awfulness of Annie? Why not with Sandy, Annie’s dog, whose name now connects with the superstorm in this hapless contemporary update of a musical that begged to be left in its 1930s period. Have you ever seen a dog suffer from incompetent direction? This one does, but no more or less so than the human members of the cast, none of whom have any emotional connection with one another, let alone with a standoffish pooch.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Insurgent opens new horizons of repetitiveness, dramatic shapelessness, self-seriousness and a generalized oppressiveness that flows from all of the above as well as from visual clutter, cheerless color, 3-D dimness and plain old bad acting.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Any kind of acting requires courage. Great acting requires formidable courage. Then there’s the dogged courage, spawned by devotion to duty, of wonderful actors like these, doing what they’re asked to do even though they must know that it’s no damned good.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    In the 1980 movie “Urban Cowboy,” John Travolta rode a mechanical bull. In The Longest Ride, Scott Eastwood rides real bulls, but everything else is mechanical.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    What could anyone have said of the finished film except that it was finished? Terminator Genisys plays like the worst of all outcomes.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Every now and then, though, a movie comes up with a scene of surpassing stupidity, and then builds from that defining moment to a climax of perfect ineptitude. Life or Something Like It is such an achievement.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    All the same, it's a feat to find the lowest common denominator at 40,000 feet; View From the Top would be perfect as the first in-flight offering of the new Hooters airline.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    An appallingly tedious Hanukkah comedy that must have bubbled up from the Porta Potti of his subconscious.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    If Detroit had produced an equivalent lemon, we might have been seeing the world's first one-wheeled, square-tired car with no cooling system, steering wheel or brakes.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Designed as a disposable commodity, it's a film I'd dispose of with no further ado, except for what it says about minimum standards in a certain tacky niche of the movie business, as well as for what it suggests, in its lunkheaded way, about the perils that marriage may pose.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    How could a major studio -- in this case 20th Century Fox -- put its name on a production with a dim-bulb, tone-deaf script that piles howler on howler? Why couldn't someone save poor Ms. Carey from herself?
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    This comedy is harmless, too, when measured against the vast array of harms that the world has to offer. It's also stupid, strident, witless, pitifully inept and bad for what ails you.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Every so often a movie transcends stupidity and soars into the empyrean of true idiocy. John Q. is such a movie.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Even in the month of January, traditionally a time for movie lovers to expect the worst, this cheapo feature, directed by Shawn Levy, takes the stale cake for witlessness.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Unlike "Dead Man Walking" and many honorable dramas before it, "David Gale" has nothing coherent to say about capital punishment, or anything else. It's a dead film lurching.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    One of the strongest arguments yet for making sequels illegal.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    The worst movie -- all right, the worst allegedly major movie -- of our admittedly young century. More stupefying follies may come, but it's impossible to imagine how they'll beat this one for staggering idiocy, fatuousness or pretension.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    An abomination, impure and simple.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Nothing's alive in this trash-heap travesty of warm-weather entertainment, despite the frenetic pace.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 36 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Domino is a new definition of a snuff movie. It snuffs out every vestige of feeling.
    • Wall Street Journal

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