Joe Morgenstern
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For 1,950 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 57% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Morgenstern's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 Please Give
Lowest review score: 0 Untraceable
Score distribution:
1,950 movie reviews
    • 37 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    This woefully botched mystery-adventure-thriller-caper-romance-comedy, or whatever it was meant to be, is no fun at all.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Everyone in the film seems to be in solitary, thanks to Mr. Duchovny's stultifying style. If there was a single moment of spontaneity, it escaped me. Ditto for frivolity, though bogus poetry abounds.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    An abomination.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 39 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Let's give this ghastly studio comedy a Truthiness in Advertising award, if nothing else.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Here’s the bad news: Brüno is no "Borat." Here’s the worse news: Brüno crosses the line, like a besotted sprinter, from hilariously to genuinely awful.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Redefines the notion of a feature film another notch downward.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    A pitiful shambles of a remake, The Stepford Wives might have qualified as a rethinking of the 1975 original if there were any trace of coherent thought in the finished product.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    This cloying piece of claptrap sets a high-water mark for pomposity, condescension, false profundity and true turgidity -- no small accomplishment for the man whose last two features were the deadly duo "Signs" and "The Village."
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Grindingly tedious.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Downey is undone by a woefully amateurish production that, sadly and ironically, looks like a cheap TV show.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Where to begin in describing the awfulness of Annie? Why not with Sandy, Annie’s dog, whose name now connects with the superstorm in this hapless contemporary update of a musical that begged to be left in its 1930s period. Have you ever seen a dog suffer from incompetent direction? This one does, but no more or less so than the human members of the cast, none of whom have any emotional connection with one another, let alone with a standoffish pooch.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Daisy was written without irony, wit or any grounding in reality. She's a barefooted flower child in a flatfooted fiasco.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    The dialogue is clumsy, the tone swings between somber and silly and the whole bizarre venture eventually succumbs to rigor mortis.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    The nadir of the movie -- or cheesy zenith -- is Ollie's sodden soliloquy, delivered in the presence of his baby, in which he laments the loss of her mother and his wife. All that's missing are the strains of Ravel's "Pavane For a Dead Princess."
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Even in the month of January, traditionally a time for movie lovers to expect the worst, this cheapo feature, directed by Shawn Levy, takes the stale cake for witlessness.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    How could a major studio -- in this case 20th Century Fox -- put its name on a production with a dim-bulb, tone-deaf script that piles howler on howler? Why couldn't someone save poor Ms. Carey from herself?
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 53 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    So you think you've seen silly? And smarmy? And inept? Wait till you see Wanderlust, though that's just a figure of speech; I'm not suggesting that you actually lay eyes on this naked grab for box office bucks.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    This nasty little bottom-feeder of a film is too condescending to be trusted, too manipulative to be believed, too turgid to be enjoyed, too shameless to be endured and, before and after everything else, too inept to make its misanthropic case.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    The filmmaker has delivered yet another iteration of what has become a classic M. Night Shyamalan film, only much bigger than before, and, as a consequence, mind-bendingly turgid.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Unlike "Dead Man Walking" and many honorable dramas before it, "David Gale" has nothing coherent to say about capital punishment, or anything else. It's a dead film lurching.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Jim Jarmusch's Dada meander, shot by Christopher Doyle, is empty and excruciating -- that's really all you need to know.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    The 3-D is cheesy (2.2-D at best) the gags are gross (Gulliver urinates on an 18th-century palace to extinguish a fire) and the production abandons all hope of coherence when the hero fights a climactic battle with a giant robot out of "Transformers."
    • 51 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    There's a good subject for satire here, the extended adolescence of American kids. But satire presupposes maturity, or at least some perspective. The movie's calculation is that its subjects and audience share the same point of view. The results are truly ghastly.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    This dramatically, thematically and artistically bankrupt comic fantasy cost something in the neighborhood of $100 million to make and isn't worth the celluloid it's printed on.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Killer Joe is, at bottom - and I mean bottom - ugly and vile, not to mention dumb and clumsy.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Charm has curdled into smarm in the big-screen version of Entourage. The jaunty style of a hit TV series has been replaced by huge spasms of false energy and a sense of barely concealed flop sweat.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Metroland, which is adapted from a novel by Julian Barnes, is an oddly unpleasant variation on the theme of "The Way We Were." [09 Apr 1999]
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 40 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Heaping derision on such a woeful debut may be tantamount to shooting fossils in a tar pit. Yet this lumbering industrial enterprise, which was written and directed by the Wachowski siblings, Andy and Lana, is bad enough to be granted landmark status.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Life is full of choices, and Halle Berry has made another bad one with Perfect Stranger, a perfectly off-putting thriller.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Every so often a movie transcends stupidity and soars into the empyrean of true idiocy. John Q. is such a movie.
    • Wall Street Journal

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