For 1,813 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 57% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.3 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Morgenstern's Scores

  • Movies
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Lowest review score: 0 Just Married
Score distribution:
1,813 movie reviews
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Pay real money to see this feeble fiasco only if you're in the mood for "Groundhog Day" without the laughs.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Life is full of choices, and Halle Berry has made another bad one with Perfect Stranger, a perfectly off-putting thriller.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Certain words should be reserved for special occasions. "Abysmal" is one of them, and Georgia Rule is as special as such occasions get.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    The Americans are portrayed with varying degrees of loathsomeness, but there's not much variety in the film. It's all an awful aberration.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    This joyless thriller runs the gamut from unconscionable through unwatchable to unendurable.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Jumper, based on the novel by Steven Gould, re-defines -- downward -- the notion of dreadful. It does so by dispensing with everything a movie needs for a shot at being merely awful. Dramatic development? None. Entertaining dialogue? Ditto. Internal logic? Puhleez. Intriguing characters? No characters, thus no intrigue. Interesting performances? Essentially none, though with an asterisk.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    This toxic admixture of computer-generated frenzy and live-action torpor succeeds in being, almost simultaneously, genuinely painful -- the esthetic equivalent of needles in eyeballs -- and weirdly benumbing, like eye candy laced with lidocaine.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    The road taken by The Love Guru could hardly be lower, and leads nowhere.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Any notions of demolishing black stereotypes -- and what else could have possessed Mr. Smith to do this? -- are dashed by the coarseness of it all, and by the narrative incoherence; a surprising plot twist turns a sloppy action-comedy into a totally different movie, and an even worse one.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    There's a good subject for satire here, the extended adolescence of American kids. But satire presupposes maturity, or at least some perspective. The movie's calculation is that its subjects and audience share the same point of view. The results are truly ghastly.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    As a PG-rated film opening on Christmas Day under the Disney banner, Bedtime Stories would seem to promise fairly wholesome family entertainment. What it delivers is the glitzy allure of a hotel setting, smarmy double entendres, Ferrari lust, Beverly Hills bling and pneumatic babes -- one of the characters is a surrogate Paris Hilton.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    This dramatically, thematically and artistically bankrupt comic fantasy cost something in the neighborhood of $100 million to make and isn't worth the celluloid it's printed on.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Basically a soulless slasher flick, and one that demeans its gifted performers.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    This comedy is harmless, too, when measured against the vast array of harms that the world has to offer. It's also stupid, strident, witless, pitifully inept and bad for what ails you.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    If Detroit had produced an equivalent lemon, we might have been seeing the world's first one-wheeled, square-tired car with no cooling system, steering wheel or brakes.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    One of the strongest arguments yet for making sequels illegal.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Every now and then, though, a movie comes up with a scene of surpassing stupidity, and then builds from that defining moment to a climax of perfect ineptitude. Life or Something Like It is such an achievement.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Designed as a disposable commodity, it's a film I'd dispose of with no further ado, except for what it says about minimum standards in a certain tacky niche of the movie business, as well as for what it suggests, in its lunkheaded way, about the perils that marriage may pose.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    All the same, it's a feat to find the lowest common denominator at 40,000 feet; View From the Top would be perfect as the first in-flight offering of the new Hooters airline.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    The worst movie -- all right, the worst allegedly major movie -- of our admittedly young century. More stupefying follies may come, but it's impossible to imagine how they'll beat this one for staggering idiocy, fatuousness or pretension.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    How could a major studio -- in this case 20th Century Fox -- put its name on a production with a dim-bulb, tone-deaf script that piles howler on howler? Why couldn't someone save poor Ms. Carey from herself?
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Nothing's alive in this trash-heap travesty of warm-weather entertainment, despite the frenetic pace.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Even in the month of January, traditionally a time for movie lovers to expect the worst, this cheapo feature, directed by Shawn Levy, takes the stale cake for witlessness.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Every so often a movie transcends stupidity and soars into the empyrean of true idiocy. John Q. is such a movie.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    An appallingly tedious Hanukkah comedy that must have bubbled up from the Porta Potti of his subconscious.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    An abomination, impure and simple.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Unlike "Dead Man Walking" and many honorable dramas before it, "David Gale" has nothing coherent to say about capital punishment, or anything else. It's a dead film lurching.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    I found it insufferably fatuous and damned near interminable. [26 Jun 1998]
    • 53 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Metroland, which is adapted from a novel by Julian Barnes, is an oddly unpleasant variation on the theme of "The Way We Were." [09 Apr 1999]
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    In addition to being borderline unendurable, Funny Games is inexplicable, and I don't mean in any philosophical sense.