Joe Morgenstern

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For 2,022 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 57% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.9 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Morgenstern's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 Mother
Lowest review score: 0 Glitter
Score distribution:
2022 movie reviews
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    A movie's script is its fate, which means this one is doomed.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Ever so slightly defective in the area of coherence; it plays as if it should have been written by a committee but they didn't bother to convene one.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Mr. Statham, the specialist in English tough guys who was so affecting in "The Bank Job," has more to offer than The Mechanic has the grace to receive.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    In all candor, and with all the amity I can muster, Divergent is as dauntingly dumb as it is dauntingly long.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Relevance can't rescue this would-be epic from the swamps of inertia, absurdity and sentimentality.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    What's missing is an emotional center. This Sinbad, with its flying ship and becalmed script, seems destined to be DreamWorks's version of Disney's "Treasure Planet."
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Adam Sandler's 50 First Dates isn't just slovenly and smarmy but creepy.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    What's missing is dramatic subtext and surprise, as well as any playfulness that might have kept us guessing about the plot.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    If I could find some facet to praise, I'd be glad to do so, but the production's mediocrity is all-pervasive -- story, character, graphic design, even music -- and it all points to a failure of corporate imagination, or maybe just nerve.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 48 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Built from an alloy of absurdium and stupidium, with the latter, heavier element dominating the mix.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    By the end I could have used a Bulleit to the mouth.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    What they've done here goes beyond gross -- or clumsy, or dumb -- to genuine ugliness, both cutaneous and sub.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Penelope was in a trough of trouble before the oink on the script was dry.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Nobody doesn't like Tina Fey, and anyone aware of her starring role in Admission will be wishing her well. But wishing won't make this dramedy any less dreary than it is.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Why is she (Bullock) demeaning herself with such shoddy goods? She’s a talented woman with a faithful following. She has made formula films of varying quality before, and her fans may well swallow this one, but it’s a formula for disappointment laced with dismay.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    There isn't a milliliter of honest feeling from start to finish, and precious little comedy or romance.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Smith is only a rogue computer program, but this morbidly dispiriting movie makes him sound like a prophet.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    The script, by Charles Leavitt, is dead in the water, and the drama is too, despite billowing sails and pods of whales. Instead of “Jaws” it’s a turgid “Tails.”
    • 47 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    How much do I loathe this film? A lottico is putting it mildico.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    You could make a case for this as a feature-film version of the FCC's fairness doctrine, but it feels more like a blandness doctrine, a pulling and hauling of the tone-deaf script, which is credited to Matthew Michael Carnahan, to the point of perfect vacuousness.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    There's nothing wrong with the structure of Heartbreakers, but David Mirkin's direction is woefully clumsy -- and the movie's tone is nasty.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    One of the strongest arguments yet for making sequels illegal.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Basically a theme-park version of a tawdry tradition.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    A remarkably ill-advised remake.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Katherine Heigl carries 27 Dresses when all else fails, which it does with great regularity.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    The movie's leisurely, elegant setup makes its action payoff seem, by contrast, particularly mechanical, cynical and grotesque.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Mr. Sayle's portrait is painfully unfunny, and the movie as a whole is a plodding polemic.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Grindingly tedious.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 47 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Joyless and airless suspense thriller.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Whatever possessed the people who made this film to believe its ponderous style would appeal to contemporary audiences? One answer may lie in a variant of the mostly true proposition that no one sets out to make a bad film. No one chooses ponderousness as a goal; it comes unbidden, with deadly earnestness.

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