Joe Morgenstern
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For 1,854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 57% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Morgenstern's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 Greenberg
Lowest review score: 0 Ender's Game
Score distribution:
1,854 movie reviews
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    The Shaggy Dog is paint, or more appropriately here, pant by the numbers. It also manages a one-two punch -- it will upset small children and bore their parents. There's just no other way to say this: Disney, that movie of yours is a dog.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 43 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Lacks both taste and flavor.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 43 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Too labored to be romantic and too derivative to be funny.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    The remake has no grace notes, or grace, no nuance, no humanity, no character quirks, no surprises in the dialogue and no humor.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    The production can best be described by several f-words. It is frenetic, frazzled and febrile. It is also feeble -- almost touchingly so, if you think of what bottomless insecurity must have prompted so much bombast.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 43 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    A gross-out saga that sentient adults should avoid like the plague.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Adam Green's Frozen explores a tiny idea exhaustively, and I mean exhaustively.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    The failure lies not with the film's director, Marc Forster, nor with its impressive star, Gerard Butler, but with Jason Keller's dreadfully earnest script, which charts the hero's spiritual journey, and his Rambo-esque exploits, without offering a scintilla of mature perspective on his state of mind.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    It's "The Sixth Sense" as nonsense, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" without the sunshine. Or the mind.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 43 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Whatever one may think of the overall style--I think it's ludicrous--Mr. Fuqua clearly wanted his film to be operatic, and so it is, in a tone-deaf way.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Joyless and largely witless sci-fi fantasy.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Go in with lowered expectations, and expect to have them dashed.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Starts well with the stirring spectacle of young men and women, members of a National Guard unit stationed south of Baghdad, struggling to do their duty in an alien land of unfathomable danger. Once they return, however, wounded physically or shattered spiritually, the film turns didactic, contrived and occasionally ludicrous.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Ambitious to a fault, this cautionary fantasy about artificial intelligence has so much on its muddled mind, and so little sense of dramatic grounding, that it grows ever more preposterous before lurching to a climax that's utterly unfathomable.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    You need only watch the trailer to know that The Internship is a promo for Google; think Google for Dummies, as well as Summer Comedy for Dummies. It's as if the writers googled "how to write a script" and nothing came up, so they wrote this anyway.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Manages to make its live actors sound -- and even sometimes look -- computer generated. This wan, sluggish comedy wouldn't pass muster as a premium-cable original, but here it is on the big screen.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    The essence of this grindingly violent movie can be summed up by what Parker says of his handgun to a terrified clerk at a check-cashing service: "It's small, but it hurts."
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    A pitiful shambles of a remake, The Stepford Wives might have qualified as a rethinking of the 1975 original if there were any trace of coherent thought in the finished product.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Still, the action is ponderous too. Mr. Morel is no Kubrick, or Tarantino, just as Mr. Travolta's caricature of John Travolta is no Travolta.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    What I don't understand is why this extended piece of idiocy chose to sink its stinky teeth into our 16th president. If an axe-wielding hero was required, George Washington would have been the better choice, with the Redcoats as bloodsuckers.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The Loss of Sexual Innocence is a work of intransigent anger and barely relieved depression. [28 May 1999]
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    I won't pretend that I had a great time watching G.I. Joe: Retaliation.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Young audiences may welcome this movie, but girls, and boys, should want more.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    It's long on Viagra jokes and whorehouse scenes, and comes up short on plausibility.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Ride Along, set in Atlanta, gives shoddiness a bad name.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Olympus Has Fallen is no fun at all. To the contrary, it soon grows tedious, odious and oppressive.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Jim Jarmusch's Dada meander, shot by Christopher Doyle, is empty and excruciating -- that's really all you need to know.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Joe Morgenstern
    Rowan Joffe directed from his own adaptation of a novel by S.J. Watson. If you’re thinking of seeing this turgid turkey, forget it.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Morgenstern
    Mr. Beall, a former LAPD cop, has written a script so devoid of feeling that the cartoons blur into thin line drawings, while what's been done with the marvelous Ms. Stone - i.e. next to nothing - is downright criminal.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Why, beating the audience about the ears, eyes and brain with essentially the same sequence of events from eight characters' points of view, none of which adds much more than deafening hysteria and identically dreadful music. The filmmakers seem to have missed the point that each re-enactment in "Rashomon" provides new and conflicting information. It makes you wonder if they studied the wrong movie. Maybe they rented "Rush Hour," or a video on Rosh Hashanah.

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