For 1,348 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 27% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 70% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 12.4 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Neumaier's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 49
Highest review score: 100 Chasing Ice
Lowest review score: 0 No Good Deed
Score distribution:
1348 movie reviews
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The Expendables 3 lets down its cast with a film that’s about as thrilling as the arrival of a monthly Social Security check.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Carpenter's economical but mundane chiller is possessed more by previous ghoul-friend flicks than it is by his better work.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    At least "Witch" offers Perlman's easy, early-hominid charm, and a semi-suspenseful rickety-bridge scene.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This is what happens when the Norwegians try to make their own "Blair Witch Project": We get three-headed trolls that hate Vitamin D and references to "Deliverance."
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Ultimately, Paradise is a tiny version of a saint’s journey among sinners, an immature conception. Peramb-you-later, Lamb.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Still, in movie terms, Warrior's Heart makes curling look like gladiatorial combat.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    As awful as most of That's My Boy is, it's sort of mesmerizing to see how Sandler - in a script credited to David Caspe - keeps his touchstones in place.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The story feels like quicksand. Riddick, which couldn’t even qualify for proper summer movie placement, moves like Martian molasses and can’t present an action scene to save its life. You’ll wish you had Uncle Martin’s ability to speed people — not to mention awful movies — up.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    These actors know how to liven up a room, yet here they're forced to perform in Miller's Theater for the Overwritten.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Robert Luketic's bland action comedy focuses on the uninteresting relationship between its two bland main characters, and that's the deadliest thing in sight.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The only saving grace is Green, the reigning witch-queen of cinema. The smoky-eyed French actress, best known for “Casino Royale,” “The Golden Compass” and “Dark Shadows,” throws her all into the performance, going bare-chested at times, bared-teeth at others. She’s like Elizabeth Taylor’s "Cleopatra" possessed by a succubus — which is a good thing. Without her, 300: Rise of an Empire would be bloodless and brainless.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    When people complain about movies glutting the market, this moronic “Black Swan”-meets-“Phone Booth” thriller is what they mean.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This movie is so dumb for most of its running time, you walk away wishing there was less plot and pointless posing and more of the fuel-injected coolness that brought you to the multiplex in the first place.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The missed opportunities in Austenland are more numerous than dowry-less sourpusses at a ball in a Jane Austen novel.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The always beguiling Radha Mitchell can’t save this stunted procedural-horror combo.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A chatty little bore.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Director James Keach's movie is so annoyingly dipsy-doodle that TV veteran Bilson, trying hard to look haunted and angsty, is boxed in.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Likely to draw a range of responses. Many will be transported by its gorgeous construction and breathless emotion. Others will find it patently ridiculous.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Who let an unfunny, irritatingly acted two-hour commercial for Google onto multiplex screens?
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Bening and Dillon are equally misused, and the rest of the cast is frankly just annoying. Like Imogene’s early promise, Girl Most Likely is likely to be forgotten quickly. The sooner the better.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    "Wolverine" is silly and typical, not in spite of but because it bonds an undeveloped family feud onto the main character's renegade story.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Machete Kills? “Machete Bores” is more like it.
    • New York Daily News
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This tonal mishmash cripples The Dilemma almost immediately, though there are many other speed bumps, including Vaughn's irritating, fast-talking prattle.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    What the movie needs more than anything else is a fast-forward button.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A cringe-inducing, self-consciously kooky indie comedy that's best enjoyed for its taste of Rip Torn.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Alba certainly tries her best at portraying not just a beauty but also a beautiful mind, yet very few things add up despite director Marilyn Agrelo's efforts.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    And then there is the most annoying animated sidekick in a long time: a bulb-headed, trying-to-be-cute glow creature called Kilowatt (Kristen Chenoweth), who sings an ear-piercing, high-pitched note when it's scared, which is often.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The James Bond parodies and genre riffs feel at least 20 years past their prime, and most will fly right over the heads of audience members 7 and under
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A romantic comedy that's neither romantic nor funny.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The movie’s ennui feels like so much posing, and the Bret Easton Ellis-lite characters are monotone. It’s rich in effort, but it all comes to diminishing returns.

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