For 1,160 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 26% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 72% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Neumaier's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 49
Highest review score: 100 Gravity
Lowest review score: 0 Filth and Wisdom
Score distribution:
1,160 movie reviews
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Okay, y'all, the never-ending appeal of the Southern-fried crime caper for filmmakers hungry for flavor is back with The Baytown Outlaws. Only here, the drawling accents, screeching tires and sawed-off blasts that rise again don't amount to much.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Machete Kills? “Machete Bores” is more like it.
    • New York Daily News
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    With a bit less grisliness, it could have been a mystery dinner-theater performance.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Muddled and inert despite the best intentions, this inescapably dull thriller plays like a Middle Eastern take on Liam Neeson’s “Taken.”
    • 63 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Sort of “An American Psycho’s European Vacation,” this indie dramatic thriller mixes sex and violence and still winds up dull.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The movie’s gimmick is having the actors visually superimposed over sets created from actual Civil War photographs. But this collage effect, while striving for truthfulness, comes off like a View-Master version of a tale already told.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Hemsworth has presence, but he also represents this film’s biggest problem: It feels like a bunch of good-looking kids putting on a show.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Hardworking Oscar winner Harden and beguiling Spanish star Watling do nothing for this haphazard film, which belatedly decides it wants to be a stage satire as the women lark into a ridiculous avant-garde production of “MacBeth.” Bloody awful.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Points for niche audaciousness, but that’s all.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The story feels like quicksand. Riddick, which couldn’t even qualify for proper summer movie placement, moves like Martian molasses and can’t present an action scene to save its life. You’ll wish you had Uncle Martin’s ability to speed people — not to mention awful movies — up.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The missed opportunities in Austenland are more numerous than dowry-less sourpusses at a ball in a Jane Austen novel.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A lot of Aftershock predictably involves screaming or shock cuts, and the movie features a blink-and-you-miss-it cameo from Selena Gomez.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Bening and Dillon are equally misused, and the rest of the cast is frankly just annoying. Like Imogene’s early promise, Girl Most Likely is likely to be forgotten quickly. The sooner the better.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The always beguiling Radha Mitchell can’t save this stunted procedural-horror combo.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    With no heat at all and a woefully disjointed cast, De Palma’s danse macabre never catches fire.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This would-be satire earns an E for Effort for wanting to be to the advertising world what “Being There” was to television.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    What starts as a creepy, original conceit — mysterious Caesarean-section abductions during hospital stays — devolves quickly into standard talk-to-the-camera, jump-at-the-sounds, found-footage banality.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Fine actors are let down by a comatose script and wayward direction in this retro crime drama.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Polanski views things so mischievously that the naughtiness is neutered long before sniveling Thomas is tied to a pole. He’s a captive not only to Vanda, but also to all the dull, reductive mind games.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It only comes alive when the star briefly shows the casual looseness that once was his calling card.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The Expendables 3 lets down its cast with a film that’s about as thrilling as the arrival of a monthly Social Security check.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    What’s more depressing: that John Cusack chose the junky, un-exciting serial killer drama The Frozen Ground as his latest step away from John Cusack-y roles, or that Nicolas Cage chose to, at long last, be as un-Cage-like as possible?
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Even in shabbily put together dramedies, such as this one, there can be a glimmer of light. Here it’s Christine Lahti’s anguished, nuanced turn as a wife and mother excited to begin a new phase with her husband.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Travolta, who was more believable as a middle-aged housewife in “Hairspray” than he is as a former Serbian commando, has the accent down pat. But his Boris-and-Natasha-style syntax seems to represent Killing Season best. Just imagine that voice saying: Dees ees very seelly movie. Catch on cable TV, please.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A disappointing mess of a genre flick.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Though Fontaine makes sure the beaches are sun-dappled and the women’s shared house comes off like a sandy paradise, the movie is like the early-’80s groaner “Summer Lovers” with wrinkle lines. Hooray for the freedom and beauty of older women — a demographic that deserves better than the deplorable Adore.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Evil babies aren’t exactly fresh meat for parody. Then again, there’s hardly a laugh in this whole hellish thing.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This nothing-new-here documentary presents basketball’s onetime celebrity point guard in unguarded moments. But the result is banal and fawning, with Lin coming off as a pious, charmless subject.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Ultimately, Paradise is a tiny version of a saint’s journey among sinners, an immature conception. Peramb-you-later, Lamb.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Neighbors stakes its claim in suburban-property cliches. Given the dull, stale results, maybe the end of the world was a better fit.