Jordan Hoffman

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For 286 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 50% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 47% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.1 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jordan Hoffman's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 Embrace of the Serpent
Lowest review score: 0 A Haunted House
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 35 out of 286
286 movie reviews
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Eastwood, who once upon a time was a flavorful director, is working in movie-of-the-week mode here. Cheesy, direct, bland.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    There’s no way around this: The November Man is asinine. It is not without its pleasures – if you like seeing people get hit in the face with shovels, that is – but it might be the most irresponsibly dumb spy thriller I’ve seen in some time.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Life After Beth, a frustrating affair due to its waste of resources, feels rushed and under-rehearsed. It is a style of film-making that hopes it can glide its way into your good graces on ad-hoc performance flourishes, a wall-to-wall audio mix and editing patches. One soon recognizes this all a cover for one key issue: a lack of original ideas.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    The Maze Runner is not a good movie, but it wins points for omitting much of what makes typical teen films excruciating.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    There’s slow cinema and there is boring cinema, and this is an unfortunate example of the latter.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Blackhat can’t decide if it is a grim, realistic story from the trenches or cyberwarfare or a giddy, “who cares if that makes sense?” Bond film.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Think about that one insufferable guy you knew in school who comments on everything you put on Facebook. Now try and imagine spending an entire movie’s run time with him.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    It’s a play shoehorned into a film. Sometimes that can work – LaBute’s managed it before – but it’s a steep hill to climb, and this one doesn’t quite make it.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    I give the odd, small film Maggie all the points in the world for experimenting with genre-blending and subverting audience expectations, but there’s just too much about it that fails to connect.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Hunting Elephants has its requisite scenes of planning and setbacks, but it mostly settles for old-people jokes (now I know the Hebrew for Viagra: it’s Viagra) and making Patrick Stewart look like an imbecile.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Ryan Reynolds does the best he can with the material.... But any intelligence is tossed once we get mired in a series of dull chase scenes.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Bagaria’s personal journey has none of the gravitas on screen that the director wants it to have, especially when set against the backdrop of actual human rights crises in Damascus.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    What’s ultimately frustrating about Zipper is that it seems like it has something important to say about infidelity and the sex industry, but can’t decide what that should be.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Helms, a funny performer, is just the face of a mining expedition for easy yuks out of a recognised title. What that says about our regurgitative culture is rather depressing. There’s so much nostalgia on our screens right now. I could really use a vacation.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Unfortunately both Eisenberg and Stewart, both frequently brilliant, are on unsure footing here. The movie simply doesn't know if it wants to be Jason Bourne or Cheech and Chong.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    This vaguely science-fiction action picture based on a video game (and not a sequel to 2007’s Hitman) is an idiotic mess with a bafflingly dense prologue, an endless final battle, lifeless performances and anticlimactic twists, but it does have a degree of visual flair.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Naishuller’s technique is one that could be well served as a shorter gimmick; a solitary action scene in a larger film. Hardcore is unrelenting and unforgiving in its commitment to be loud, fast, destructive and gross.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    The bulk of The Intern is a morass of wackiness, a chain of sequences shot in a flat and predictable manner that range from tedious to idiotic.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    By the end of this 89-minute film, I was absolutely on the edge of my seat. Not due to suspense, but due to my utter disdain for the infantile plotting.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    While the topic of mass delusion is fascinating, this film is too unfocused to turn it into compelling drama.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    The Measure of a Man’s decision to keep its conflicts so microscopic in the service of realism is a real problem. Put bluntly, Brize’s touch is so light that it’s immeasurable.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Animator Raul Garcia’s 70-minute anthology of five Poe stories, Extraordinary Tales, has its moments, and will be a welcome respite for any middle schooler sitting through a boring lecture. But if we were ever asked if we wanted a second viewing, we’d have to quoth the raven: nevermore.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    My All American is awful; but it gets points, I suppose, for at least looking professional.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Amid all this holiday melancholia, Wilde bursts into the film with an intensity that feels held over from another, better movie.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    Chiwetel Ejiofor, one of our top-tier film actors right now, is on good form throughout, and the others act their hearts out, too. But they are somewhat left out to dry in a production that feels more like syndicated television than a feature film.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    While we open with dazed individuals in a crashed limousine as it begins to take on water, Submerged’s frequent flashbacks eventually reveal a tiresome crime plot rife with soporific acting and unremarkable dialogue.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    The movie gets completely lost, unsure if it wants to be a serious exploration of repressed memories or a work of giddy, spooky trash.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    This laid-back amusement should not be misinterpreted as competent storytelling. Though some of the jokes land, that’s entirely due to the performances; there’s not one example of clever writing in the entire picture.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    The noble intention to make us dwell on our culture, and perhaps shame its more voyeuristic members, quickly devolves into a cavalcade of tedium.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 40 Jordan Hoffman
    It’s one hell of a yarn, which makes The Lovers and the Despot’s strangely soporific style something of a disappointment.

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