Lawrence Toppman
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For 1,418 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 56% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 41% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 4.6 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lawrence Toppman's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 64
Highest review score: 100 Howl's Moving Castle
Lowest review score: 0 Little Nicky
Score distribution:
1,418 movie reviews
    • 18 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Let me say, in my desire always to be positive, that Serving Sara is the funniest film I know where a man sticks his arm up a bull's rectum to massage its prostate.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Embodies all that's wrong with the sellout culture of Hollywood.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Affleck simply wasn't meant to play action heroes or tough guys. He's about as tough as tapioca pudding.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Spike Lee's films have been provocative, blunt, thoughtful, misguided, daring, sentimental, funny, honest and silly. But 25th Hour earns the director two new adjectives: irrelevant and tedious.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Designed to appeal to people who thought "She's All That" was too mentally demanding.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    I don't know if Nispel and Scott Kosar, who make their feature film debuts here, are the worst director and writer in the world, though they might well represent the United States if anyone holds a competition. I do know they deliver a total of zero laughs, scares or surprises in this remake of the infamously creepy 1974 picture.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Campion has no clue how to sustain suspense and no actress of the caliber of Holly Hunter, Nicole Kidman or Kate Winslet (her recent leading ladies) in the main role.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    As a British politician said of a corrupt but articulate peer, "The Cat in the Hat" is like a rotten mackerel seen by moonlight: It shines as it stinks.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Studios can release movies even more insultingly dumb, crudely assembled and cheaply produced than this one, though such an achievement will require some effort.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Does David Arquette have a career? If so, what's he doing in this unintentionally hilarious gangster movie?
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    You won't see a single joke here you haven't encountered before, all in funnier forms.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Writer-director Reverge Anselmo has created a movie of ineptness so perfect and unified as to boggle the mind.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Represents everything that over-budgeted Hollywood can possibly get wrong in a period piece: It feels both long and slow, it's unfocused and self-contradictory, its generic characters are played too broadly, it's anachronistic..
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Pitof can be blamed for the 89-cent digitized sets, the jerky or rubbery special effects, some clunky performances and more continuity errors than I could count.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Emotionally stultifying and brain-dead.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Birth, which should never have been conceived, is obscure in every way: visually, philosophically and psychologically.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    This movie is an act of hubris so huge that, in Alexander's time, it would draw lightning bolts from contemptuous gods. Today it will get sniggers from stunned critics and a collective yawn from a public unlikely to share Stone's egomania.
    • 9 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Slater narrates as if reading a restaurant menu. Reid seems to have learned each long sentence in segments, so she wouldn't be overtaxed.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Messing may simply be one of those actresses who's the right size for TV and the wrong size for the big screen.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Everything here has been done better in other books, other movies. The lone remarkable thing is the level of violence, which exposes the cowardice and hypocrisy of the Motion Picture Association of America's ratings system.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Weak, obligatory stabs at humor make it more generic than it might've been.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Even if we leave aside the obvious time travel paradoxes, we can have a good horse laugh at the rest of the plot's inanities.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Not even the repeated sight of Jessica Alba in a bikini, the camera caressing her like the eyes of a strip-club patron, can lift this leaden refuse off the ocean floor.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Goes awry within moments and never gets on track. The scripters and director Harold Ramis have no idea whether to aim for cynical humor, film-noir romance or post-crime tension, so they miss all three targets completely.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Babbit clumsily underlines emotional moods.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Its main feature is incessant, unimaginative profanity...Take out the cursing, and you're left with a plebeian drama about angry, aimless potheads, sloppily directed by the man who wrote it.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    As close to perfectly unwatchable as it can be.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Once again, something that might have been a faintly amusing sketch on "Saturday Night Live" -- maybe even a tolerable 30-minute short, had the writing been more clever -- gets tortured into the shape of a feature film.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    Bertino directs at a funereal pace. Speedman remains comatose, though Tyler flickers fitfully to life. The mournful look on her face suggests she's remembering the days when she was given more psychologically complex scripts, such as "Armageddon."
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lawrence Toppman
    I'm afraid it just stinks.

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