Lawrence Toppman

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For 1,584 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 56% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 41% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 3.3 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lawrence Toppman's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 65
Highest review score: 100 The Big Short
Lowest review score: 0 Waist Deep
Score distribution:
1584 movie reviews
    • 52 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    These pros lift this button-pushing blob of faux folksiness to a higher plane than it deserves.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    This installment, which is subtitled "Give Us Your Money, Sheep," really isn't a Pirates of the Caribbean movie at all.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Mature folks may wonder why a simple and simply beautiful story from their youth has been buried under layers of emotion Woody Allen's psychiatrist might want to pick over.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Reason to make Shrek the Third: Probable earnings of $400 million worldwide. Reasons not to make Shrek the Third: Played-out characters. Bland villain. Novice directors. Slipshod plotting. No compelling story or emotional depth.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    However good DiCaprio may be, everything else feels overblown.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Flaccid remake of a tough 1966 original.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    There's plenty to offend Christians and non-Christians in Saved! but little to trouble either: The movie vanishes in memory like morning mist expelled by the first stiff breeze.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The Rock isn't always comfortable delivering dialogue. He's handsome, physically sculpted and farther along dramatically than Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Conan the Barbarian," but he's still learning the simple acting skills an action hero needs.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The dangers in the lives of these Catholic teens are self-made; they spring from small-town boredom and lead to a conclusion that's meant to be emotionally crushing but is only slightly affecting.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The filmmakers try to make us sympathize with Barney by surrounding him with even more annoying types.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Peter Berg directs the action sequences cleverly at first. Then he starts to behave as though a hornet flew down his pants at the instant he aimed the camera. He's not much of a dialogue director, but there's not much dialogue.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    For all the satisfying details in the script, the big picture remains hopelessly and intentionally trite.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The cancer of dishonesty begins to grow half an hour into the film, and it riddles the picture by the end.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The filmmakers would have been better advised to stick with the Zeroes and spend less time making up heroes.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The actors were mostly nondescript, sometimes noticeably clumsy. Stunt coordinator Dion Lam brought a bit of freshness to the martial arts choreography, but the rest of the film was as stale as a week-old carp on a fish vendor's pushcart.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Dahl has directed half a dozen sardonic noir movies, dating back to "Kill Me Again" in 1989, so he should have been the ideal choice for this material. But even he can't make chicken salad from a pile of beaks, bones and claws.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    It's a run-of-the-mill action film that falls short of the 1976 original - and, for that matter, the 1959 western "Rio Bravo," which inspired the first film. The characters run out of energy and personality long before they run out of bullets.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    When George Lucas last pulled off an original idea for a feature film, Bill Clinton was still thought of by many voters as overweight and chaste.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Breakfast on Pluto, like its cross-dressing heroine, is appealing yet irritating, fun company at times but just as often a bore, occasionally quite touching yet frequently fey and self-indulgent.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Any of the key relationships would have been grist enough for one movie's mill, but "Feast" crams them all together.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    A question: If you hire actresses from England, Kansas, Ireland and Michigan, shouldn't someone teach them all to do believable Southern accents -- and remind them to keep doing those accents as the film goes on?
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    It can devote itself entirely to bodily functions or, having established its grossness quotient, take the high road toward satire like its 2004 predecessor, "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle." It fails mainly because it does neither.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    It's hampered further by a piece of star miscasting unmatched in recent memory: Julia Roberts' archly evil queen remains as jaw-droppingly dull as her costumes are jaw-droppingly gaudy.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Folks wanting to hear the usual New Testament message will be pleased; others may feel that the tension dissolves in homilies and wish the main character weren't led around by a blonde-haired little angel in a white dress.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    What does it say about a picture when the highest praise must go to impressive scenery?
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The whole thing's as phony as a funeral oration from a pastor who never knew the deceased.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Thornton and Heder perform at about half their maximum wattage, which isn't enough to power the inert script.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    A tale that ought to dispel the clouds of mystery surrounding life gathers them into impenetrable fog.
    • 88 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Unlike David Foster Wallace in “End of the Tour,” a masterful look at depression, Stone’s just a self-centered, unaware bore. He doesn’t merit attention from the kindly, cheerful, anxious Lisa – or from us.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The movie gives away its shifty-eyed villain almost immediately. What it doesn't give away is why he betrayed his trust, who wants the president dead or what they hope to gain by killing him.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The special effects look like a high school science project: The giants are clearly rear projections behind the real actors, and that snake is as rubbery as a garden hose.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    That’s the problem with Winter’s Tale, which tries to cram too many conflicting stories into one space and ends up defying us to believe any. Call it magic unrealism, a well-intentioned but clunky genre.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The surprising thing about Michael Moore's polemic is not one-sidedness, which was a given: It's his failure to find devastating new weapons of mass destruction to aim at Bush's head. The smoking guns he holds up often fire blanks, and the ones that don't are mostly derringers.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Sean Bean makes a positive impression as the caring but puzzled captain of the flight, though Peter Sarsgaard flies at half-mast as a clumsy air marshal.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Emotions too often get ladled unconvincingly.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The lead actors come from America, Ireland, Iceland, England and South Africa. Who decided they should attempt Russian accents? Neeson forgets his, Ford wavers in and out, and real Russians in the cast make the others sound inauthentic.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Superbad simply isn't. It isn't super, as it intersperses crudely funny gags with an equal number of dry spots. It isn't ever truly bad, because even the lame segments pass quickly.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Some movies need a suspension of disbelief. Simone requires a suspension bridge. And as fast as you try to build it, the movie keeps tearing it down.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Flawless never begins to live up to its title.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The picture isn't nearly enough on any level: not scary, not suspenseful, not complex, not atmospheric.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Is this just silly filmmaking, or have Ivory and Jhabvala succumbed to the Francophobia that gave us "freedom fries" in the congressional cafeteria?
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    After the box-office failures of "The Emperor's New Groove" and "Treasure Planet," I wonder whether Brother Bear might not be the last traditional bit of Disney animation for a while.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The dialogue includes double entendres that are rather clever, if you're mentally at the age of 11.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The story introduces a mystery halfway through to keep the plot from running out of steam, but neither its set-up nor its resolution provide much drama.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    This isn't a cheerful movie. But director Alejandro Gonzalez Iñarritu and writer Guillermo Arriaga tell these stories with authority and verve, making 2½ hours zip by.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Before The Astronaut Farmer, I'd have said such dumbed-down filmmaking was beneath the Polish brothers. But if their dream is to ride Hollywood's gravy train once, I suppose I'll have to respect it.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    His (Spielberg) The Adventures of Tintin jettisons character, back story, plot, depth and emotional ties to deliver 100 minutes of beautifully shot mayhem. It's handsome, hectic, heartless and hollow, a shiny Christmas box with nothing but glitter inside.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Hints heavily at its One Big Secret from the get-go, then waits for you to figure it out miles ahead of the not-too-bright characters.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Four Brothers immediately joins the Good Idea, Bad Execution club. Hardly anyone seems to care about its believability - not director John Singleton, writers David Elliott and Paul Lovett or some lackadaisical actors.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Cinematographer Christopher Doyle suffuses the film with color, fire and smoke. But the more lively his images become, the more faded the characters seem.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    It's a self-blunting satire, a toothless attack on fashionistas that twists around tortuously and ends up biting (well, gumming) its own tail.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Watching this comedy is like going out with an attractive blind date who runs out of conversation after a quarter of an hour.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    If you want the cold, honest truth about "Space Jam," prepare yourself for the shock: It's average. It's broadly funny in spots, but without any edge. It'll make kids giggle, but it makes a minuscule effort to appeal to adults. Special effects are sometimes imaginative, sometimes just the same explosions and pratfalls Warners Bros. has done for half a century. [15 Nov 1996, p.1E]
    • Charlotte Observer
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Except for a surreal moment when Fat Albert meets the real Bill Cosby, who tells his cartoon creation he must go back into the television, nothing inventive occurs.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    By the pseudo-shocking end, we're half-entertained by the dedicated cast and half-lulled to sleep by the dull, overfamiliar sounds they make.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Cuba Gooding Jr. lands on his behind more often than a one-legged figure skater, and the preschooler next to me giggled every time.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Andie MacDowell bursts out of her good-girl cocoon in Crush to become a bright, bad butterfly: drinking, smoking, flirting with Ecstasy, having moaning sex on a tombstone just minutes after the funeral of a friend.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    All performances remain irrelevant in the face of such expensive, explosive combat and destruction, and there the film excels: You will feel blown back into your seat, starting 40 seconds into the story.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    In the end, coincidence undoes Criminal.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    For all its flashes of emotional honesty and mordant humor, is nonsense at its core.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Kingsley gets the film's one big emotional scene and makes it count.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    By the self-contradictory and ludicrous end, I had the mixed satisfaction of being proved right in my disappointment. (Di Pego wrote the equally silly "Instinct" and "Angel Eyes," so I can't say I was surprised.)
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    It's common in Hollywood to describe a disappointing film this way: "Well, it certainly looks great!"
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    When there's no dialogue, this film stays right in the pipeline. When characters open their mouths, it ends up in the tripeline.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Decent acting forestalls the inevitable collapse for a long time.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Remains as flat as the Texas plains.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Logan's so carried away by computerized magic that he forgets to make sense.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The story's sweet, however stale, and many performers have energy. But screenwriters Alonzo Brown and Kim Watson drain the reality out of it.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    We don’t see his alcoholism and post-traumatic stress disorder after coming home, the decay of his marriage, the vengeful hatred that led him to strangle his captors in his nightmares. Nor do we see his conversion to Christianity after a 1949 Billy Graham crusade in Los Angeles, an event he credited with saving his sanity, marriage and perhaps his life.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Adults will wish the movie were less simplistic, obvious, clumsily plotted and shallowly characterized. But what are adults doing in the theater at all?
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    An intermittently preposterous, drawn-out but sometimes entertaining story about an unstoppable ex-Marine.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Infamous, which mines almost the exact same ground as "Capote," comes up 300 days late and artistically close to bankruptcy.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Lil' Bow Wow deserves a better-made film than this pleasant, sloppily assembled fairy tale.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    It's a mass of interchangeable moving images, none much more significant than the others, linked to a plot looser than a 2-year-old's shoelaces.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    A well-intentioned but overlong Czech drama that comes apart completely in the last 20 minutes?
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Though the movie's a shade shorter than the first two, it feels longer.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    After concocting one tense crime at the beginning, the writers can't do any better than to imitate it later.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The writing is self-consciously literary in a way that probably worked better on the page.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    M. Night Shyamalan has directed movies that are surprising, hokey, suspenseful, sentimental, clever, touching or cheesy. But until After Earth, he hadn’t made any that are dull from end to end.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Arnold Schwarzenegger, move over: Your dramatic replacement has arrived.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The Coen brothers’ new movie, set in Hollywood in 1951, brings easy laughs but dissipates from memory moments later, like the cheesy films to which it pays homage – or, perhaps, mocks.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Characterizations are rudimentary, performances dull.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    I was not disappointed by Dreamer, the most dishonest movie I've seen in a while. Nobody gets a fatal disease before the end credits, but every other clich? is exploited in this fabric of impossibilities, nonsense, stereotypes and shameless tear-jerking.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The new Dawn of the Dead moves along with speed and slick visual style, but it's soulless and anonymous as -- well, a shopping mall.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Any story from the "Patch Adams" team of director Tom Shadyac and writer Steve Oedekerk is bound to end up floating in a soup of moral homilies, and "Bruce" does.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    There's nothing outstandingly good or bad about the film.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    A painfully honest film, yet it's also painfully slow, drawn-out and simplistic in too many spots.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Watching this is like sitting by a pinsetter at a bowling alley. That's too bad, because the picture had potential.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    sSo pleasingly forgettable that I spent most of the movie mentally casting American actors for the inevitable remake.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    I recommend “Batman v. Superman” to anyone who thought director Zack Snyder showed too much restraint in “300,” who felt “Man of Steel” whisked by too briefly or who wondered how Ben Affleck could be made to seem one of America’s most animated actors while clenching his jaw as tight as a Christmas nutcracker.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Diary rather sloppily blends melodrama and spiritual uplift with crass comedy, sometimes in the same scene.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    It draws you into its grim and mysterious world through the first half of the movie, then falls apart like a house of cards in a hurricane.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Know how to tell if a war movie is mediocre? An outspoken bigot, usually a Southerner, abuses a patient member of an oppressed minority -- the Asian recruit, the African American or, in the case of Windtalkers, a pair of Navajo men from Arizona in his platoon.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Wanda Sykes and John Michael Higgins have energy as Evan's aides, and Jonah Hill (hot off "Knocked Up") gets laughs as a sycophantic researcher, but Graham has no chance to show what she can do.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Everything about this film, from the title to the metaphors, remains cloudy. And you can watch clouds only so long before you realize they don’t have any weight at all.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    I just saw The Transporter 2 on the way home from the lobotomy clinic, and boy, is it enjoyable. What a difference a simple operation makes!
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Oscar-winners Morgan Freeman and Melissa Leo turn up in cameo roles anyone could have played. Kosinski was smart to limit their screen time, because it’s awkward to have actors with weight and charisma hanging around those who lack both.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The overwrought White Oleander may be middling drama, but if it bears any resemblance to truth (which I doubt), it's a brutal indictment of the L.A. County Department of Social Services.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Gothika was supposed to provide proof that she (Berry) could carry a film as a leading lady, but it doesn't. That's not entirely her fault, since nobody can fetch a drink of water in a sieve.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The rest of us can pass this by, unless we're such fans of the actors - Mark Ruffalo, Naomi Watts, Laura Dern and Peter Krause - that we'd watch them in anything.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    It relies on short bursts of Lawrence's zaniness, punctuated by an occasional joke about stinking feet or vile breath. For his admirers, that will be plenty.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    If we had a story we could believe, we'd be in stitches.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The stars have chemistry, which may be all that we can hope for in factory-line fluff. But why stack the deck so clumsily?
    • 52 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Brooks gives himself the last word, appearing onscreen for the first time amid chorus girls oozing PG-13 pulchritude. "Go home!" he says. "It's over!" Could he be referring to his career?
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The arc of the 800-page novel, crammed into 130 minutes, becomes a line as flat as the heart monitor of a dead patient. A story that ought to possess the mad grandeur of an opera acquires the tedious regularity of soap opera.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    A loosely woven crazy quilt of other, better movies.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The conversion to 3-D has left the movie looking grim and dim. Almost every scene, whether indoors by candlelight or upon the open ocean, seems awkwardly dark; competent 3-D effects don’t compensate for this distraction. Equally drab are the performances, except for Gleeson and Whishaw.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    I rarely pinpoint the exact moment when a promising action movie turns into a pulpy, asinine mess, but I can do that with Total Recall.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The warm performances give the film momentum, but writer Audrey Wells and director Peter Chelsom (who chops dance sequences clumsily) often stumble.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    The movie briefly suggests Viola is an incestuous psychotic.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    As dry as a high school history book, solemn as a funeral service, humorless as a Politburo meeting, bloated as a waterlogged corpse and unbalanced as a bout between a debutante and a sumo wrestler.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    Smith has called friend Ben Affleck his muse, and this picture is just as bland and superficially pleasant as its star.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lawrence Toppman
    RocknRolla is a copy of a copy of a valuable original, and you know how faint and unintelligible those can be.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 42 Lawrence Toppman
    So here I am, trying to like The Purge because I’m drawn to its simple and horrific premise, and it’s treating me (and you) as if we have the IQs of lawn ornaments.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 42 Lawrence Toppman
    Affleck has two expressions, a smirk and a scowl. Bardem never changes expression at all: Whatever he’s saying comes out with a dispassionate, hangdog glumness. Perhaps he watched the daily rushes once too often.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 42 Lawrence Toppman
    Though the film sat in drydock for a year, partly so technicians could convert it to 3-D, it looks as dull as it sounds.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 42 Lawrence Toppman
    Doris Day will be 89 in two weeks, which makes her exactly half a century too old to play the lead in Admission. That’s a pity, as perhaps only she could have done it justice – if it had been made in 1958.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 42 Lawrence Toppman
    The audacious ending, though unjustified by what had come before, was clearly something mainstream Hollywood would not have tolerated. Yet the 90 minutes in between, a mass of symbols and improbabilities so great they provoke outright laughter, made me wonder whether aliens stole Bahrani’s brain.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 42 Lawrence Toppman
    It’s rare that a movie stops making sense before anyone speaks a line of intelligible dialogue, but The Wolverine is a rare movie.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 42 Lawrence Toppman
    Mighty Joe Young is based on the 1949 film of the same name, and it's nominally more aware of '90s concerns: destruction of the gorillas' habitats, illegal hunting, trade in animal body parts. On the other hand, it's no more enlightened about the intrinsic value of these clever, emotionally complex creatures. [25 Dec 1998, p.13E]
    • Charlotte Observer
    • 38 Metascore
    • 42 Lawrence Toppman
    Schwarzenegger, weathered and ironic, strides through the film with old-fashioned authority. Except for Clarke, who walks an ambiguous line between heroism and sinister monomania, only Big Arnie leaves the slightest impression after the credits roll.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    You can get all of this free on television any week, so why pay for it?
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    This film might have been daringly funny 10 years ago, even with its broadest elements intact. Now it's comfortable as old slippers and unthreatening as a sleeping kitten.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The hot comic du jour wants to startle us but is merely startlingly dull.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Passed as slowly as if I'd been sitting naked on an igloo, Formula 51 sank from quirky to jerky to utter turkey.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The worst thing about the picture is that the people involved all seem to realize it's generic.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    We waited 10 years for a sequel to the movie version of "The X-Files" – and the best Chris Carter could do is The X-Files: I Want to Believe?
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Epps emerges mostly unscathed, and Dutton gives an excellent performance; he's as able before the camera as he is inept behind it.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    You cannot always judge movies by their titles, but you sometimes get good advice. The sequel Jack Reacher: Never Go Back, supplies its own five-word review.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Angelina Jolie is definitely worth her salt as an action hero, but Salt is never worth its Angelina Jolie.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Director David Gordon Green steers a clumsy course between crass humor and sudden drama.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    See not only the original "Detective" but the Steve Martin-Bernadette Peters film "Pennies From Heaven." If you insist on giving Downey and company $8 instead, you'll be getting wooden nickels from Hell.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    No movie this year will better embody Macbeth's description of life itself: "a tale ... full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    How bad, really, could it be? I couldn't have guessed.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Martin, who plays Clouseau and wrote the script with Len Blum, has completely mishandled the character.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Souza and Shelton throw in all kinds of ridiculous devices they learned in second-year screenwriting class.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    OK, so no plot, really.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    If you get past the preposterous hypothesis at the start of Return to Me, you'll find a passably pleasant, utterly bland romantic comedy without a surprise to its 110 minutes.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    You could dismiss it, as I do, as an impenetrable and insufferable ball of pseudo-philosophic twaddle.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The Truth About Charlie...is that this "Charade" remake is a lumpen bore.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    What a riveting movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen might have been! And what a rickety mess it turned out to be when the people responsible lost faith in the origin of the material!
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The final sad joke is this: Weitz took a wonderful story about the danger of severing a soul from its otherwise empty body and did that very thing to his source.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Visually compelling, relentlessly loud and so shallow you need just a fragment of your brain to follow it.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Speaking of sounding Southern, I have to admit that the accents didn't match, and half the actors couldn't even do accents. But since we all sound alike down here, that's no big deal.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Attaching Chris Rock to I Think I Love My Wife is like chaining a Kentucky Derby winner to the merry-go-round in a petting zoo. His humor is hobbled, his personality dulled, his energy depleted. Who's responsible for this lapse in judgment? Chris Rock.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The special effects excite at first but wear out their welcome.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The storytelling is inept and illogical.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    I hope his life was less dull than the movie he's made from it.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    De Niro wears a shamefaced look most of the time, as if doubly embarrassed: He agreed to a movie he knew was worthless, yet he's too lazy or indifferent to give us his best.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    I expected Get Rich or Die Tryin' to be gritty, scary, maybe disturbing or thought-provoking. What I didn't realize was that it would be so dull that any other effect it could have made was wiped away.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Gosling's been better elsewhere but delivers an adequate performance. McGregor and Watts seem baffled most of the time, as well they might be. Forster keeps us from drifting off with inventive camerawork; in this case, that's like saying a hideous suit has well-stitched lapels.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's blah. Worse than blah, actually, because it's so stupid.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Wilson brings low-wattage amiability to his part, as always. Hudson's mismatched with him but tries to set him afire.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Plays like some uninformed seventh-grader's view of gay men.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The movie is as padded as Allen's jelly belly.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The filmmakers find "laughs" in sadistic violence.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Yet even the language, finally, becomes as inauthentic as the accents.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Dark Blue proves again what a remarkable actor Denzel Washington is. Too bad he's not in it.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Utterly generic.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Solaris is a film where people...often...speak... like... this, and the camera moves slowly across sterile interiors.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Pan
    Writer Simon Fuchs begins with a reasonable idea – we’re all likely to be curious about the origins of Peter Pan – and does unreasonable things ever after.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    For all the talk about passion, the main feeling Youth conveys is self-pity.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Long before this interminable film reaches its bogus finale, you'll realize that the people in it aren't real.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Goes wrong in less than two minutes, which may be a world record for sequels to decent movies.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Writer-director Coppola and her production team have gotten the look of the late 18th century right...But they've gotten almost everything else wrong.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Interesting and idiotic elements almost exactly balance each other.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Everything about the film seems to have been done on the cheap. The music sounds like it came from a high school band.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The writers supply character traits that seem to point toward a pay-off but never reach one. People all end up as tight-lipped, indistinguishable automatons who plummet 50 feet down jagged rocks with scarcely a scratch.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Repeated lapses in continuity and common sense.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Though the writing doesn't work, you have to give Burns credit for shrewd direction. He gets the best performances I've seen from Graham and Murphy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It starts as enjoyable B-movie pulp, degenerates to camp, then turns into laughable lunacy.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Sandler proves even a hardened Israeli secret service agent can be an imbecilic juvenile.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's theoretically possible to make a fascinating film about a thieving, self-indulgent, freebasing, treacherous scumbag who pimps his girlfriend to a gangster and contributes nothing to society. Wonderland isn't that film.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    If this project is some kind of huge in-joke, I’m willing to admit I didn’t get it. But if I did get it (and I’m afraid I did), it’s a huge disappointment.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A frenzied, cacophonic cartoon.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    This picture has an ugly habit of humiliating Bridget, which "Diary" did not.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Without a plausible script, crisp dialogue or rounded characters, the majority of the picture will sag gracelessly.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    ATL
    Director Chris Robinson moves his camera aimlessly, cutting in and out of speeches as if he were just as bored as I.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Most painfully, the semi-alert Owen and the leaden Aniston go together like sausages and syrup.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    This stale, redundant story goes round in the same tight circles, revealing one piddling new secret and containing one unconvincing change of character.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The truly appalling thing, though, is the stupidity of the screenplay by Richard Kelly.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    What's the message: that women must remain vigilant about poundage to keep husbands from chasing taut-thighed secretaries? That's a charitable Christmas thought.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A fairy tale full of fascist, Bible-thumping straights, self-deluded and pathetic gay people who deny their impulses, and two honest lesbians who triumph.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Better than you might expect, if you didn't expect it to be any good.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    There's nothing more painful than watching comics tank, and Looking for Comedy in a Muslim World is a 95-minute wince.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Of COURSE it's bad. It was always going to be. But it's worse than necessary.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    There's one thing to be said for The Perfect Man: It confirms my belief that I'll never need to see another Hilary Duff movie until (1) she turns 30 or (2) she plays a crackhead in "Requiem for a Dream II."
    • 61 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's almost impossible for a movie to go irrevocably wrong during the opening credits, but the ceaselessly irritating The Jane Austen Book Club does just that.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Hamlet has audacity, intelligence, a provocative visual and musical style, virtually no poetry, a garbled story line weakened by savage cutting of the play, and a great yawning hole where a Hamlet ought to be.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The script by Kristofor Brown and Seth Rogen and the direction by Steven Brill have a careless, never-gave-a-damn feel that's as insulting to viewers as the film is dull.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The film's filled with inconsequential scenes and supporting characters who add useless atmosphere or by-the-book diversity.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The assault is against our ears, as the soundtrack pours forth a stream of thrash and Goth music.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The opposite of memorable.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Isn't satisfying or surprising. It doesn't even make sense from scene to scene.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Sometimes seems longer than a rainy Super Bowl.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    You'll have to swallow this gooey confection whole or spit it out after the first couple of bites.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A mind-numbing carnival of violence.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    He (Murphy) can't make chicken a la king from the chicken manure supplied by the writers.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Is Josh Hartnett attracted to cinematic bombs, or do movies merely self-destruct once he signs on as the leading man?
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Far be it from me to spoil the secret, but I will say this: The last reel should've been sent straight to the city dump.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's neither dull nor stimulating, neither off-putting nor engaging.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    After five minutes, Christopher Walken vanishes. We wait vainly for the next 90 minutes for someone, anyone to bring that kind of danger, unpredictability and vitality to a story as drab as army fatigues.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The Critic's Code of Honor forbids me from explaining in detail why the storytelling is so inept, because I'd have to spoil the silly surprises. So I'll say only this: You can interpret the climax two ways, and both will probably infuriate you.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The only interesting character is the dragon, who grows from an adorably dependent baby to a protective, intelligent adult voiced by Rachel Weisz.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A punch-drunk lightweight. Inside the ring, it lands some forceful punches. Outside the ring, it stumbles around, swinging wildly at nothing, until it collapses.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Writer-director Barry Levinson leaned on Robin Williams the way a one-ring circus relies on its lone acrobat. So they're jointly responsible for the film's utter failure.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Just a great, empty wind machine.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A long, slow pity party full of characters who constantly bemoan their fate while telling other people not to pity themselves.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The story's so sloppy that it contradicts itself constantly.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Melvin Van Peebles wrote and directed the biting "Don't Play Us Cheap" 30 years ago to complain about racial stereotyping in films. But Hollywood never listened. It kept playing African -Americans cheap in mainstream comedies, whether the directors were white or black. Deliver Us From Eva -- is one of the worst recent offenders.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Punch-Drunk Love buries a terrific performance by Adam Sandler under a heap of faux cleverness, meaningless symbolism and irritating mannerisms.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Man on Fire is as ludicrous as "John Q," "Virtuosity" and "Out of Time," yet substantially more violent, artificial, self-conscious and dull.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    There's nothing wrong with Simpson's performance that a head transplant wouldn't cure, and the grinning Reynolds looks Botoxed into immobility.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Errors in logic will delight the attentive.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    As Disney-fied as "Pinocchio," barely challenging the images Americans have treasured for 150 years.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    I think Baumbach and Gerwig mean Brooke to be a life-affirming free spirit who can’t find a place in our mercenary world. Instead, she comes off as selfish, rude, deluded, irresponsible and mean-spirited.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Since there can be no suspense, the point is to enjoy the hewing of limbs and the severing of necks, to delight in chopped-off fingers and gouged-out eyes. The title characters are embodiments of utter evil, right?
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The movie that's meant to be his (Apatow) most personal turns out to be his most dully generic.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Ronan, however, transcends the script. She's innocent yet wise, gentle yet forceful. She's the one thing in this picture that shows how great a movie The Lovely Bones might have been, had the people who made it believed in the book with all their hearts.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    I also wondered how the movie got the title Cradle 2 the Grave. Nobody used the phrase; it didn't apply to any characters; it didn't even turn up in a song. Maybe the filmmakers were saving "Rotten 2 the Core" for the sequel.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    “Star Wars” movies have been dazzling, infuriating, heartbreaking, silly, witty, convoluted, gripping and overblown. But until Rogue One: A Star Wars story, I don’t think “dull” was the most appropriate adjective.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    No one associated with the film tries very hard, from cinematographer Peter Deming -- San Francisco has never looked so drab -- to composer Mark Isham, whose watery jazz score is meant to summon melancholy but merely relieves insomnia.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    If you really must see Miami Vice (and you mustn't), buy a ticket to something better, then slip into "Vice" at the 95-minute mark and watch the last third of the movie. No one involved will profit by your curiosity, and you won't miss a thing of importance.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The picture brims over with ideas - good ones, silly ones, maudlin ones, witty ones, absurd ones - and they bump up against each other like ingredients in a vast stewpot that never comes to a continuous boil.
    • Charlotte Observer
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The sequel to the 2008 hit “Twilight” makes no effort to satisfy outsiders. It's strictly for devotees who won't balk at plot absurdities, clunky dialogue and patchy characterizations.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A frantic, heartless hodgepodge of pieces from James Bond movies, Indiana Jones adventures, "Star Wars" and half a dozen legends.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Looks as if it were thrown together as carelessly as slum housing.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The film's as chaotic and heavy-handed as "Summer of Sam" without the same sense of harsh reality.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Excruciatingly flat comedy.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The writer-producer-director of American Dreamz makes nearly every mistake in the satirical book. His targets are either too easy or too dated. He's inconsistent in his attitudes toward them. His stereotypes are stale.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Just Will Ferrell doing the same man-boy shtick he usually does.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A feel-nothing movie – a series of disconnected, implausible incidents that end as arbitrarily as they began, in an effort to inspire emotions the picture never justifies.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Writers Pamela Falk and Michael Ellis aim for the soufflé-style comedy audiences ate up greedily 40 years ago, but the film falls flat.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Unimaginative.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Lee sleepwalks through his part, even in romantic scenes with equally bland Cameron Richardson.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Plotting has never been writer-director Allen’s strong point, and the story falls apart. It depends on coincidences that are unlikely individually and ridiculous together.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's not only an ultraviolent, ludicrously inconsistent rip-off of Bradbury's idea, but it poisons the well for future efforts.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    This might all have been silly fun -- as it was in the 1999 version -- except for the carelessness of the whole picture.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    There's a potentially good story rattling around somewhere inside this broken, self-contradictory and finally meaningless film.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Ghost Ship, which can best be described by altering one consonant in the second word, sustains the stylishness of its opening for exactly three minutes.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A brazen title card declares this " true story." (Wow, not even "based on.") However many facts may be accurate, the movie feels contrived, with climax piled upon climax.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    When the film stumbles to its last and silliest conclusion, you realize much of the plot line was unnecessary -- or couldn't have happened at all!
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's yet another warm, fuzzy, New-Age tale that cozies us into believing the grave doesn't mean oblivion.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Reviewers sometimes insult actors by saying they don't vary their expressions across an entire movie. But until Knowing, I never thought that could literally be true. Nicolas Cage does widen his eyes with about 15 minutes left in the film.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The problem isn't that Tarantino's in love with death; it's that he's deadly dull. Even "Natural Born Killers" made a stab at social commentary and satire of America?s celebrity-mad media. Kill Bill merely giggles through gore and asks you to smile at its style.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Where "Wedding" introduced us to a Greek family most of us had never seen before, "Connie" plays out like a clumsy episode of "Laverne and Shirley:" familiar, phony and forgettable.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Writers John Brancato and Michael Ferris must figure the blinking lights on Angela's screen will cloud our brains. They ask us to ignore plotholes the size of craters... Nor does director Irwin Winkler shoot scenes suspensefully. [28 July 1995, p.9F]
    • Charlotte Observer
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's a drab jumble of meaningless action, dull characters and animation as flat and superficial as its story.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    I've just seen The Core, and I have a piece of advice for Hilary Swank: Don't quit your night job.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The outcome is alternately unsatisfying, meaningless, contradictory and laughable.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    If you're the kind of person who goes to the movies primarily to watch faces melt to pulp, you won't be disappointed.
    • Charlotte Observer
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The year's least necessary and most unimaginative remake slogs half-heartedly to its pre-destined conclusion without making a ripple.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    "Man" is like a sour, half-formed version of a TV sitcom full of dislikable, disconnected characters.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Should appeal to anyone who likes films as mushy and unsurprising as baby food.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    When Allen revives his plodding "Manhattan Murder Mystery" as the even duller Scoop, I snore.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The movie is somewhat below average. The plot doesn't always hold together.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    What comes from the mouth of Johnny Depp...not the crucial spark of wit or insight that could encourage us to spend two hours with this cruel bore.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Satire's funniest when it's true, but Rock exaggerates and mistimes too many jokes.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The film is a saggy, oddly mean-spirited takeoff of "Walk the Line."
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    An unmemorable, frenzied, characterless hodgepodge that delights the eyes while numbing the brain.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The shreds have vanished in Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, which runs at that speed during its stunts but is utterly out of gas in every other way.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Isn't a bad movie, until John Woo remembers that he's John Woo and we remember that Ben Affleck is Ben Affleck.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    M. Emmet Walsh and Elizabeth Franz enliven the film as a couple across the street...These wonderful old actors briefly raise the level of the picture to the kind of warm but honest drama it ought to have been.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The Girl Next Door is to "Risky Business" what near-beer is to beer. If you're desperate for a mild buzz, you might make it do.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    At the center of the film, like a man trying to pull a donkey out of a peat bog, stands Craig: inexpressive, uninflected and obviously tired. Perhaps he’s trying to play a chap who never allows himself access to his emotions, for fear loved ones may be snatched away, but he just looks like an actor who wishes he could quit his job.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Has any movie this millennium had less reason to exist than First Daughter?
    • 57 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The sequel doesn't develop the characters, interject any warmth into its frenetic story or take us anywhere we haven't been.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Williamson deals mostly in cliches, as if high schoolers weren't smart enough to appreciate anything subtler.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    We don't need a discussion of plot in a review of a movie made from a video game, do we? Nor do we care whether the characters are complicated (no), the acting is sophisticated (no), the direction is competent (no) or the camerawork is clever (no).
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Jokes don’t pay off at all or take so long to do so that they lose their snap.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Recycling is a good idea in principle, but certain products should be sent directly to a landfill without re-use. Be Cool, the feeble film follow-up to "Get Shorty," is one of them.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Quirkiness is as essential to a small indie film as beef stock to French onion soup. But if you don't have enough of any other ingredient, you end up with a watery, barely edible broth.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Like so many sequels, The Chronicles of Riddick demonstrates Hollywood's law of diminishing returns: Its quality is inversely proportional to its budget.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Feeble, vapid picture.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    If you have a strong stomach, a weak sense of disbelief, an active interest in Denzel Washington or Angelina Jolie and a temporarily inactive brain, you may enjoy it awhile.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's "Braveheart" without historical significance and "Passion" without spirituality, though it dabbles in both, and it represents as brazen an act of career suicide as I can recall from a star director. If he were a first-timer, he'd never work again.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Writer Guillermo Arriaga earns most of the blame. He played similar games with narrative in the vastly better "Amores Perros" and "21 Grams," jumping back and forth in time to show relationships among subplots and characters. But "Burials" barely has one plot.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's ploddingly directed, indifferently acted and insufficiently frightening.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A miler trying to run a marathon, a fair middleweight idea trying to deliver heavyweight thrills.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Director Richard Donner finds a few startling images for bloody battle scenes, but awful dialogue prevents the actors from giving performances of any depth.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Has the sex appeal of a Road Runner cartoon, one-tenth the laughs and equal plausibility.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Delivers more of what the original promised, with the crudity index up one notch and the humor index down quite a few.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    What starts as a cute premise crashes faster than a skateboard with an oak branch shoved between its wheels.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Puts more miles on plot that was worn out long ago.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The "Puppetoonish" characters in Hoodwinked didn't bother me: They're primitive and inexpressive, but their personalities come through. In fact, the problem is that their personalities do come through: They're all wackily sarcastic, unfunny nonentities.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The outtakes prove Analyze That could have been even worse.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    As in most cheap futuristic movies, everything is dark or illuminated by a drab bluish glow. The buildings look grubbily similar to each other, so every location has to be identified onscreen. Of course, that saves the audience the trouble of paying attention.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    This movie is made by and for people who don't care about good storytelling.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Ambiguity can enrich a movie, but artists abdicate their responsibilities if they don't take a stance of any kind.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Without a philosophical payoff, without characters whose relationships resonate in our hearts, without explanations for situations that beg for explanations, what are we left with? To quote another great writer of battle scenes: "a tale full of sound and fury, told by an idiot, signifying -- nothing."
    • 70 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Allen's laziness is startling, even in so mechanical a filmmaker. He uses a monotonous narrator to tell us what the characters think and do, though he then shows them performing the actions that have just been described.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It begins as energetic, clichéd nonsense and ends as irritating, clichéd nonsense.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A Frankenstein's monster of a movie: clumsy, patched together from parts that don't align properly, desperate to be loved, destined to be chased by mobs with pitchforks - those will be the critics - until it stumbles into its grave.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Solace is especially frustrating when it moves down interesting paths, then stops.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It took four years to come up with this? Someone needed that long to assemble this patchy, recycled collection of gags about stinky butts, superfreaks, finger-wide blunts and racial cliches?
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's marginally possible that Nancy Drew is spoofing high school adventure movies, and I almost hope so. Otherwise, it's unwatchable on every level.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The best way to sit through Max Payne is by using minimal brain.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    If they decided not to give us Camelot, did they have to leave us with so Camelittle?

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