Lisa Schwarzbaum
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For 1,906 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 71% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 27% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 9.4 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lisa Schwarzbaum's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 69
Highest review score: 100 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Lowest review score: 0 The King and I
Score distribution:
1,906 movie reviews
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    If, as Fincher has said, this movie is supposed to be funny, then the joke's on us.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A Scottish weepie of such bathos and balderdash that it deserves a drinking game in its rotten honor.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A portentous and goopy Dutch drama.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Labored miscalculation of a teen-trend comedy.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Holland's empurpled bio-fantasy is hooey with an anachronistic feminist slant from start to finish.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    What's on screen is lazy, second-rate, phoned-in -- a heist in which it's the audience whose pockets have been picked.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A notorious opinion divider last year at Cannes, Battle in Heaven is less about heaven or battle, or hell on earth, or the soul of Mexico, and all too much about gawking. And so, for all the ''shock'' of the movie's clinical carnality, this battle is lost.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This Debbie Downer of a drama is a bitter slog.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The gooey sanctity of the bond between fathers and sons all but nullify Jackson's zesty performance.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An appalling, jaw-dropping movie that will cause serious nightmares.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Three stories by the guy who wrote Trainspotting, banged and smashed into a film by Paul McGuigan with none of Trainspotting's charm and all its grotesquerie.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    McCarthy's rawhide has become movie Naugahyde, a substance unknown in literature or in nature.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Insistently sullen, nihilistic, and successful to the point of smugness at transmitting buzzkill, Art School Confidential is the second collaboration between art-house cartoonist Daniel Clowes and director Terry Zwigoff.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    I don't know if it's ickier to assume that writer-director Brad Silberling (Moonlight Mile) thinks the culture-clash jokes he pushes in 10 Items or Less are charming because they're earnest, or because they're tongue-in-cheek. Either way, this sale is void.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The film values quips and declamations over natural conversation (or an explanation of how such intelligent women could have been so blind to world events).
    • 53 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    British director Mike Barker and magpie New York screenwriter Howard Himelstein, have taken "Lady Windermere's Fan" - Wilde's first big stage success, written in 1892 - and pulped it senseless in the name of puttin' on the charm.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Yes indeed, Pirates 2.0 is a theme ride, if by ride you mean a hellish contraption into which a ticket holder is strapped, overstimulated but unsatisfied, and unable to disengage until the operator releases the restraining harness.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Really, all this movie is about is the joy of checks, calls, folds, rivers, and the acquired thrill of knowing what those words mean.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Because the script, riddled with verbal ugliness by David Elliot and Paul Lovett, sends the movie to a series of arbitrary nowheres, the final showdown for the Mercer boys and their enemies is just as meaningless and sense-deadening.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An Unfinished Life is inert, kaput -- a middlebrow mush of platitudes rather than an okay corral of distinct characters with heartbeats. It's awful not in an exciting, uncontrolled way but in an overly controlled, narcotized way.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This is a deeply unpleasant movie masquerading as a heartfelt social commentary on life in these United States.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Every porridgy inmate in this instantly forgettable romp warbles in the prison's amateur musical, and one of them demonstrates a rather extreme devotion to the tomatoes he grows in the on-site greenhouse.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Ultimately, the talented cast -- among them M. Emmet Walsh, Faye Dunaway, Skeet Ulrich, and Viggo Mortensen -- play to their easiest star turns rather than their most interesting strengths.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    xXx
    Even in the summertime, the most restless young audience deserves the dignity of an action hero motivated by something more than franchise possibilities. Movies like XXX -- a big 000 -- don't deserve our $$$.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie is so littered with clichés of genre, as well as clichés of artifice in Reeves' pained performance, that any semblance of social reality goes foul.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie's mortal failing is echoed in the religious medal Pita gives Creasy in a gift of innocent, uplifting love: Finding heft or coherence within all the lugubrious agitation is a lost cause worthy of St. Jude.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Calculatedly soppy, seasonally phony Americanized remake of Giuseppe Tornatore's 1990 "Stanno Tutti Bene."
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    It's young-Hollywood-driven business as usual in this derivative, nasty, and ultimately empty drama.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The mangy joke in the defiantly homemade documentary 95 Miles to Go is that Ray Romano on a business trip is no different from any other schmo, minus the autograph signing.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    If your allergy to comedies bred from British style mugging crossed with Disney style prancing has, like mine, flared up in recent years, this hybrid from writer director Joel Hershman (''Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me'') will make you wheeze.