Lisa Schwarzbaum
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For 1,907 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 71% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 27% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 9.4 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lisa Schwarzbaum's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 69
Highest review score: 100 Police, Adjective
Lowest review score: 0 Valentine's Day
Score distribution:
1,907 movie reviews
    • 31 Metascore
    • 58 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Natalie Portman, by the way, is fierce and funny as a babe warrior the brothers meet along the way. She's good with dirty words, too.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 75 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As is true in most buddy pictures, the real love in This Means War is between FDR and Tuck. Pine and Hardy are an odd choice as Men Who Bond. Pine behaves like a player on Entourage; Hardy broods as if he thinks dating is torture. But as a result, they're kind of cute in an itchy and scratchy way, ­bumping shoulders in a pantomime of what men do in love and war.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Thor's Chris Hemsworth leads the pack as a high school football star-turned-Marine, while Josh Peck plays his stubborn younger brother. There's also a collection of junior guerrillas, including The Hunger Games' Josh Hutcherson and Friday Night Lights' Adrianne Palicki. Take that, screaming North Koreans with no agenda!
    • 31 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    While Robbins has a good time playing the boyish devil, the rest of the principals transmit on an awfully low baud rate.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Fanning is remarkably collected and even dignified. As for the rest of the gang, they ought to be returned to sender.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As for Monster-in-Law, it's tripe on a plate.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Mostly about slapping together a bunch of clichés -- outdated clichés at that -- regarding the loneliness of ambitious women.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The role of a poised daddy's girl is a dull one for Holmes, who looks pained, in a nonspecific way, throughout her capers; the movie itself, with a screenplay by Jessica Bendinger and Kate Kondell, is a dull one for director Forest Whitaker.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Everything is wrong pretty much from the start of this misbegotten adventure.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The mood is ruined by the bitchy 1990s stereotyping of the husband hunters.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An appreciation that the pain is personal doesn't compensate for the picture's self-absorbed need to alienate.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In the face of such junk, the idea that Fox would proudly put himself on a punishing regime of severe diet and exercise to get prisoner-skinny-yet-crazy-muscled for the job of make-believe is vanity at best, obscenity at worst.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Rudd's talents as a thinking woman's charmer are wasted -- as are those of amiable Jason Biggs in a weak variation on the pop theme of being a gal's gay best friend.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The characters who cross paths here in the hard shadows of late-'90s New York City are meant to convey loneliness, bitterness, neediness, loss, and bad karma. Mostly, they convey bad Sundance.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The answers he strings together are babble in this superficial vanity documentary. Nice shots of awesome, God-approved scenery, though.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Maybe in a few years the incoherent gaudiness of this underperforming sequel to ''Interview With A Vampire'' -- will have transmuted into a kind of appreciable camp. Until that time, however, we're stuck with this damned production
    • 30 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The incisive, close up photography by ''The Sixth Sense'''s Tak Fujimoto outclasses the story by yards.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 58 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Chan needs a foil, and Hewitt, while perky, doesn't project nearly enough comedy weight; she's too slight and tailored for his style.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    One piece of advice in trying to make sense of it all: Follow the sleepwear, since Bullock cycles through a few garments that clarify which day is which. Another suggestion? Ignore the two-bit psychological and spiritual doggerel with which screenwriter Bill Kelly tries to deepen the meaning of the game.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 83 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Every signifier in this quintessentially American domestic thriller is in satisfying running order.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Strands Cedric the Entertainer behind the wheel and forces him to motor a collection of laugh-and-learn wacky situations by sheer force of his outsize charm.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The story is as impersonal as it is labored.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 75 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A gentle, traditional (like, from the last century) romantic comedy.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 58 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Enough cheery mockery to amuse even non-tokers.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This ill-fitting movie was mail-ordered from an out-of-date catalog of teen-com stereotypes.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Pathfinder's moody, muddy look is courtesy of music-video director Marcus Nispel, who doesn't distinguish between people and tree trunks when it comes to emotional content.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Red Riding Hood goes from trite to triter, a plot collapse that overtakes any of the visual prettiness from cinematographer Mandy Walker (Beastly).
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As distressed as a comedy can be without qualifying as a snow emergency.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    It's a puzzlement how so many pros could have so wrecked one of the most beloved, hummably familiar movie musicals in the Rodgers and Hammerstein repertoire.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    What willful streak of perversity inspired Kevin Costner to take on this wacky tale of a letter carrier-turned-postapocalyptic hero?
    • 28 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A crude, silly supernatural thriller.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Nobody's got a clue. Enquiring minds don't even want to know.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 58 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Unfortunately, the charming Batfamily can't stay in their cave indefinitely; they've got to go out and fight crime. And that's where this elaborately high-style production from Batman Forever director Joel Schumacher hits an iceberg.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Any grown men and women who pay to see the movie face a harrowing ordeal.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A cheap cut-glass tiara of a booby prize goes to Drop Dead Gorgeous for messing up so utterly.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    No less sweet for being unoriginal: A guy (Charlie Sheen) mourns a bad breakup with the woman he loves (Katheryn Winnick). The execution, on the other hand, is perilously self-absorbed.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In the way of workaday flicks built around long-in-the-tooth badasses, Die Hard 5 leaves room for McClane to make a few jokes about his thinning hair and to rue that he wasn't a better father when his kids were growing up. Oh, boo-hoo.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The audience may have bought the act in "Napoleon Dynamite." But this time, the act bombs.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A very low grade romantic drama indeed, a love story with all the life and death intensity of a heat rash.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 58 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    With no headliners to raise hopes, this negligible entertainment has its own boneheaded charms.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Now it's just some thin chick in her underwear, kicking butt.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As Carrie might type on her laptop while giving one of her girly little shrugs, When did Sex and the City become so long and mean so little?
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    You should hear instead about Sam Elliott and Mary Steenburgen, who whip up cowboy fun as married U.S. marshals assigned to protect the pair in Wyoming.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 83 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Not only makes excellent use of the singer's sweetly coltish acting abilities, but it also promotes a standardized set of sturdy values with none of Mariah Carey's desperate ''Glitter,'' or any of Mandy Moore's gummy pap in ''A Walk to Remember.''
    • 27 Metascore
    • 58 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Maybe this well-loved Luke is who his neighbors want him to be, a good fellow who, with his father, reopens the old movie house in town -- the Majestic -- thus allowing his neighbors to dream in the dark again.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Nothing about this sputtering midlife-crisis family comedy is natural except the timeless notion that even the most latte-tamed baby boomer has the power to reclaim his inner Iron John. Ray Liotta provides the one true blast of comedic energy as the leader of a real, more pugnacious head-butting gang who tangles with the four amigos.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    When a Stranger Calls is ba-a-a-a-c-k, in frightless form, updated for the age of anytime minutes and caller ID.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A tuneless variation on the working girl-captivates-Mr. Big formula that has propelled fairy tales as old as Cinderella.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Comedy has changed. Jack can only give his son-in-law the stink eye so many times before the whole "I'm watching you" pantomime gets stale.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Tedious.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This slapdash, charmless, baldly boomer-chasing romantic comedy, directed by Michael Lehmann (Heathers) from a clunky, orgasm-obsessed script by Karen Leigh Hopkins and Jessie Nelson, is the lazy studio's answer to a call for more age-appropriate entertainment for "More" magazine readers.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Torturously whimsical gumshoe caper.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In a feat of dullness quite powerful in its own way, this lifeless family comedy sucks the joy from every joke it touches.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The lame-o aspects of the whole campy setup are still lame-o.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Love means never having to say you're recycling plot material.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The actors more eager to goof around in schlumpfy costumes on a low-budget lark than to play their trashy characters with the seriousness such farce requires.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Oooh, this is toxic.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 75 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    There are moments of real funniness in this smarter-than-anticipated goof-fest.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    When not unnecessarily bland, synthetic, and indistinguishable from undistinguished teen TV, A Cinderella Story is unnecessarily coarse and dumbed down, with every character except Sam and Austin subject to perfunctory ridicule.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Preposterous-for-no-good-reason supernatural tale.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 67 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Antielitist, anti-hypocrisy, pro-feel-good entertainment.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The makers of this mediocre comedy about dorky guys who work in a cut-rate electronics store probably hoped that "40 Year-Old Virgin" lightning would strike twice. It doesn't.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This garbled American remake of Takashi Miike's already staticky 2004 exercise in J-horror is a wrong number.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Still, it's refreshing that the animals don't talk.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In one form or another, you get exactly what you pay for at an Adam Sandler comedy. Otherwise the man wouldn't have earned zillions.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Not one female character escapes mockery or patronizing.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Yet Speed 2 is as slow-moving as a garbage scow. Those blinking lights might as well be emanating from a vital-signs monitor. The story is dead in the water.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Rancid, misogynist comedy.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This nadir of equal-opportunity raunch forces viewers to spend time with a needy yeast-infested adult who doesn't know how to go on a date with a man; her grating, neurotic monster of a best friend; and a third, random younger chick, who's crazy-upset about some tedious thing that happened with her boyfriend.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In one rotten production -- all involved have managed to create the most unlikable, man hating, woman hating, unfunny idiots since ''Whipped'' ended up on worst movie lists last year.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    All I know is that something has gone terribly, drum-beatingly wrong in Congo (Paramount, PG-13), and you can sense Jungle Trouble brewing from the git-go.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Twelve ogles the lost boys and girls as they make their mistakes. But unlike the novel, the movie never really gets inside these kids, who aren't in the least all right.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Reeves is a stiff dancer and he delivers his lines in a full leather jacket monotone.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Everything old is old again in this rickety extension of 2002's already rickety "Van Wilder."
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The steady drip-drip-drip of nothings like this are killing us all.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The endless, numbing sameness of it all.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A huge pile of horsefeathers is being peddled as fairy dust in Bigger Than the Sky.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Each actor appears to have received the script to a different movie, while Allen adds his own directorial touch of sexual vulgarity.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A loony attack on wacko liberalism and a ding-dong defense of wacko conservatism.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A painfully miscast Parker nervously flips her hair and waves her hands, sitcom-style, as a do-gooding dean of students.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie can't be saved from its own vices of manic pacing and tediously pro forma pop culture jokes.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 67 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A talent-stuffed assemblage of barbs and giddy musical numbers that shouldn't be written off as a feature flop -- but savored instead for the cult-ready collection of late-night satirical skits and misses it is.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The cockeyed C-quality B movie, shot on location with a Balkan supporting cast and crew, mixes a precarious pileup of visual clichés with over-staged action sequences.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The loserville teen comedy Underclassman is like a student project sloppily cribbed from other kids' notes -- kids who have seen "Rush Hour" and still can't get over how funny it is to stick a noisy black guy in a distinctly nonblack setting.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Exhausted as the premise already is -- hapless boomer learns that real manhood is a function of committed fatherhood -- Old Dogs nevertheless finds ways to make the lesson even less tolerable.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    8MM
    The whole movie turns into a violent, pointless, torture-or-be-tortured chase.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    There's no artistic or thematic point — except maybe to demonstrate that a young filmmaker is as much in need of someone to say no as the characters in this disingenuous exercise.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Without any of the patented Farrelly insight into the insecure, horndoggy teen in every man, and without a grown-up setting in which Harry and Lloyd can transgress like dum-dum geniuses,Dumb and Dumberer is dumberest.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    There are no survivors here.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    When you watch this failed horror thriller -- which has been under studio doctors' care for some two years, undergoing futile title changes and reshoots -- there's no respite from the odor of flop sweat stinking up the screen.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The few jaunty, ''Friends''-inflected lines Perry does get off are lost among the cow pies.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Had the ghost of Paul Lynde swanned by in a caftan-clad cameo, you couldn't find a more outdated, miscalculated collection of stale, queen-size stereotypes than those trotted out on this ship of fools.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 83 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Terry Gilliam-ish territory here, spiked with imagery from Holocaust nightmares and drug trips. Attention, university film clubs: Here's your cult-ready midnight-movie programming.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A charmless rom-com.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A stinker, the more so for the thespian excesses of the accomplished cast.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Abysmally stupid drama.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A creepy, humiliating ''comedy,'' playing to Bullock's worst instincts for demonstrating the lovability of women who don’t fit in.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Silly, undone by lack of faith in its own subject.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The film squanders every opportunity (and international-coproduction cent) on by now imitative Nine Inch Nails-video-style visual Goth-goo, and, scarily, forgets to input a plot or script that makes any sense.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A desert of shrill juvenile jokes and clanging chase sequences.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Sends comedy backward in time, and we're in the 1970s, ethno-sitcom style: These Andersons in their out-of-date white, snooty gated community apparently confuse themselves with their forebears on The Jeffersons.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Terminal colon cancer has never looked more fetching than in the critically ill romantic-disease comedy A Little Bit of Heaven.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Processed comedy chop suey.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Malty brew of heroics and minutiae.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Isn't a movie, it's Gorgonzola, a crumbly summertime stinker veined with pop-cultural fungus.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 16 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An awful, stillborn comedy assembled out of rusty spare parts from secret agent movies and run-of-the-mill ''Saturday Night Live'' skits.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Empty jokes hang heavy.

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