Lisa Schwarzbaum
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For 1,906 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 71% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 27% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 9.4 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lisa Schwarzbaum's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 69
Highest review score: 100 Pina
Lowest review score: 0 Saving Silverman
Score distribution:
1,906 movie reviews
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Comes from the same jolly homage-to-schlock-shock producers who remade ''House on Haunted Hill,'' and the emphasis is shamelessly on ornate scares. But with its high-gloss cast and French art-house actor and director Mathieu Kassovitz (''Hate'') in charge, the movie also shoots for class.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Between cycles of gunfights and glowering, Yun-Fat displays some of the dignity and suave good looks that account for his star status (without much chance to show his wit).
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Operates on such outdated, unimaginative conventions of movie chemistry that Moore and Brosnan end up appearing older and stodgier than necessary.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The result is a pageant long but not deep, noisy but not stirring, expensive but not sumptuous.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    At no time do the men -- that is, the straight ones -- believably hold the upper hand. In the new town of Stepford, there's no bitterness, no struggle, no competition, none of the scars of the sexual revolution. There's just gay apparel.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    It's no accident that portions of Six Days mildly echo some of Ford's most popular films, from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" to "Working Girl."
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Drips along about as slowly as a polar ice cap and leaves both those who know the international thriller on which this creepy-doings-off-the-coast-of-Greenland yarn is based and those who don't out in the cold.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The truth is, the freakiness kinda turns the director on, and he nearly strangles Suspect Zero with love.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A ripe psychosexual compost heap of a drama that emits a provocative scent of rot and nonsense.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Any random episode of Law & Order would be more sophisticated than this heavy-handed, moralistic Southern-lawyer corn pone, directed by Francis Ford Coppola.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie never gives its heart freely and honestly to the satiny whirl of post-"Chicago" showbiz spectacle it so clearly wants to be.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie implodes, with each actor less vivid than he or she ought to be and each character less connected to the others than necessary for such an arbitrary plot.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The character of a scruffy computer nerd, played with might-as-well-enjoy-myself charm by little-known actor Justin Bartha, steals the picture from glossier players.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Want Jesuitical fineness of argument? Look elsewhere. This one merely answers the prayers of those looking for an argument.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Weirdly moving.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The sermonizing on behalf of good clean fun and hard old effort (Cosby co-wrote the script) is as faded as Big Al's sweater after too many days on earth.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Rachel Griffiths...is the best reason, nay, the only reason to pay attention to Me Myself I.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Walking the path grooved by such stone-faced confreres as De Niro and Schwarzenegger (and following up on his own more successful self-parody in "Men in Black"), Jones positions himself as a Man in a Stetson.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The scariest thing in the not-scary-enough The Ring Two is the notion that even smart, attractive adults - yikes, even mothers - just never learn, either.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Oldboy caused a love-it-or-hate-it stir at Cannes last year, and how could it not: It's an onslaught made to cause a sensation. Consider me simultaneously jolted and depressed.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The Ephron sisters, sophisticates entrusted with a simple TV situation comedy, lose the magic of the com as they mess with the sit.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    There are pleasing outcomes for almost everyone in Happy Endings, and that's not good news.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The Island begins with a whimper of interest as a cool-hued, cautionary exploration of the ethics of cloning, and ends, in a hail of product placement, with a dumb bang.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Nobody will go to see Michael Winterbottom's sexually explicit, novelty-act drama - a naughty peep show for sobersides, disguised as a nature documentary - to hear the songs; everyone will go to see the shagging, which occupies the majority of the screen time.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Nothing wrecks the mood of a high-toned British period piece about erotic obsession quicker than an unintentional laugh. In which case, prepare for Asylum to be derailed by snorts in all the wrong places.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    "The Station Agent's" Peter Dinklage provides diversion as a gay wedding planner.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A slick, synthetic, self-important drama that thinks it is saying more than it is simply because of its subject matter.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Eventually I gave up on meaning and began instead to study the profuse imagery -- and also the flat characters and anchorless performances.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The filmmaker keeps himself squarely on screen. This is fine when he engages in throwdowns with the bigots but distasteful when Levin shows himself reacting to footage -- unseen by viewers -- of the beheading of reporter Daniel Pearl.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The Weather Man is what indie misery looks like when re-created by one of Hollywood's big studios.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    What falls in Chicken Little are hopes.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie, directed with a gym teacher's whistle by "Scooby-Doo's" Raja Gosnell, is a contempo soft-focus remake of the 1968 original starring Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The accountant in Bloom would probably approve of the new Producers: It's an efficient extension of a popular brand. In theory, what's not to like? In reality, the whole schmear.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A chaste and tepid remake of a 1950 British comedy.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Congratulations are in order for Rachel's sexual awakening, but we might as well applaud the dull girl for falling in love with the nearest bunch of lilies rather than the florist.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Watch for the ''Mrs. Doubtfire'' syndrome: In Santa drag and padded for laughs, Scott demonstrates how to be a more sensitive, more funsy parent than boring old Mom.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Martin's gift for physical and vocal comedy is as deft as ever.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    More calculated than a Starbucks sampler CD, the picture could win the up-from-hardship award.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    If you like Kathy Bates movies, you'll probably be frustrated with this one, since as Tripp's mother, the invaluable character actress is made to whipsaw between playing sappy domestic slave to her son's laundry and salty, overly sexual wife.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The unnecessarily famous cast for such a standard, creaking, fake-spooky ghost story (with Bible verses thrown in for good measure).
    • 52 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The imagery is exotically grungy and jumbled by flashback, but in the end, the picture's more pulp than juice.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The young cast is terrific, giving the stories unearned weight.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Writer-director Oskar Roehler spends all his energy on cataloging ''outrageous'' behavior, and none on giving the transgressions any meaning.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    At times dark and at other times gooey.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Strangely inert drama.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Shyamalan's most alienating and self-absorbed project to date.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A companion piece to "Match Point" that suffers all the more in comparison.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Tthis isn't just any setup, is it: It's suds being sold as ethno-sensitive reality, a case of coveting thy neighbor's fiesta.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Director Todd Phillips tries for the kind of frat slaphappiness he applied so successfully to "Old School," but these boys are less scoundrels than individual salesmen for the brands of Heder and Thornton.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Everything is aces about this lineup's pedigree. But Devil never lets loose. It's a jazzy composition about sex, sleuthing, corruption, race, and cheap liquor that's a half step out of tune.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Watching Running With Scissors the movie instead of reading Running With Scissors the best-selling memoir by Augusten Burroughs is like running with a spatula, or maybe some weird toast tongs.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Examination of one of the English language's most useful utterances and why the sound packs such a friggin' wallop.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A wildly romanticized Australian druggie drama.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Everything old is old again in this rickety extension of 2002's already rickety "Van Wilder."
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Evenness of political keel, combined with a generic filmmaking style, is an artistic weapon way too puny for a successful assault on so tough, bruising, and crucial a subject.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Cassavetes throws in everything he can recycle to grab a core-demo viewer -- slutty teens making out, blaring rock music, guns, split screens.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    I Think I Love My Wife has got to be the unlikeliest French New Wave classic ever to be retrofitted by a famous African-American stand-up comedian best known for his stinging social commentary -- at least until Dave Chappelle remakes Jean-Luc Godard's "Breathless" as a hip-hop caper.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Who knows whether the project is meant to be earnest, ironic, post-ironic, made for adults, made for kids, made to teach lessons, or made to be watched in an altered state? All or none...jeez, this thing is one bumpy ride.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An awfully tidy, infernally sparkly study in skewed blessings, made manifest by Committed Acting from Sigourney Weaver.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The big underachiever turns out to be DeVito, who is incapable of exhibiting believable warmth and complexity, or, indeed, of playing anyone who is not a cartoon.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Sometimes Brenda Blethyn is content merely to nibble the scenery. In Introducing the Dwights, a drippy Australian family comedy caper, she chomps it to a pulp until we long for her straightforward monstrosity as a mother in "Little Voice."
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Every once in a while, though, Firth's eyebrow hints, Can you believe I'm wearing this dorky leather breastplate?
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In stories like this defiantly unsubtle, structurally clunky specimen, causes women who are considering abortion to think again, and self-selecting audiences to enjoy a light, luxurious weep.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Really, I think we put up with Lars at all only because Gosling has such an affinity for the wounded boy birds he tends to play that it's easy to watch him do his thing.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The surprisingly puny haul comes from the jolly, usually sparkling comedy workshop of David Dobkin, who directed "Wedding Crashers," and Dan Fogelman, who wrote "Cars" -- two great movies that both make better stocking stuffers.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    It's left to Caine to wink and nod at his own contribution to real caper classics of the 1960s and '70s, produced with more emphasis on fun and less on instructive fact-finding.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Grace Is Gone grabs on to a name, a war, and the metaphor-come-to-life of a theme park with rides going nowhere. And we, the people, are spun around and shaken for tears.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Ladies! Thelma and Louise drove a '66T-bird, remember?! They picked up a young male hitchhiker 17 years before you did, and they too, um, interacted with a trucker and admired magnificent American sunsets -- is it coming back to you? Nope, it's not, which is exactly why the tires are so low on this creaky vehicle.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Reproducing a period-piece screwball comedy for a modern audience turns out to be one playful, self-deprecating wink too many for the star, who also directed Leatherheads.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Young boys are the only suitable audience for Speed Racer, the elaborate live-action adaptation written and directed by "Matrix" creators Larry and Andy Wachowski. And even they might feel an urge to squirm.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Some sure symptoms: The movie demonstrates a smart movie geek's obsession with the rhythms and gory details of horror storytelling, undermined by a pompous insistence on spiritual lessons of the tritest kind.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Costner (who's also a producer) plays to his middle-aged strengths in a role that exaggerates male weaknesses.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A slippery entertainment that's all feints and few punches thrown at a fight card of indistinguishable terrorists, Muslim and otherwise.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie is overplowed, even if Brad Pitt's debut as a Coen comedy player is eye-catching.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A loony attack on wacko liberalism and a ding-dong defense of wacko conservatism.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A weightless, style-driven thriller set in a photogenically chaotic Hong Kong.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The first 3-D film produced by Jerry Bruckheimer turns out to be similar to 2-D projects from the same noise-making producer--heavy on action scenes and heavy, too, on message.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The teachers (including original cast member Debbie Allen as school principal) turn out to be the best part of the show.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The fact that Allen wrote the script in the '70s explains something about why his newest movie feels so old.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Dismayingly conservative dramedy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    There's a lot of yelling, cracking wise, and cooing in this creepy rom-com.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The mix is Lifetime soap–meets–Woody Allen smart-set comedy, with less humor and a genteel Connecticut setting.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Howard looks peachy, and actor-turned-director Jodie Markell sweats the details -- moonlight, honeyed accents -- but the brittle script resists restoration.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Ellen Barkin provides unexpected diversion in a madwoman cameo as the PD's brassiest brass. But otherwise the clichés keep coming.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A histrionic mess.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Still, it's refreshing that the animals don't talk.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Feels staged and exoticized in the way stories about insular communities often do when told by outsiders.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie, by Dutch director Jan Kounen, is all surfaces, set pieces, Significant Looks, and voguing -- the same strictures Chanel and Stravinsky sought to bust.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    No schmucks were harmed in the making of Dinner for Schmucks. That's the problem.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    What feels enjoyably outré in the 1998 coming-of-age novel by Jonathan Ames (creator of HBO's Bored to Death) feels oppressively outré in this deadened, literal adaptation.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The cast, though, includes a great bunch of Brit faves who have all done better work elsewhere.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    I'm confounded by the fact that, aside from the Pevensie siblings and their nicely obnoxious cousin, absolutely everything and everyone aboard the Dawn Treader looks one-dimensional.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Waving a dubious flag of feminist inclusivity, Cole and screenwriter William Ivory turn cartwheels insisting that girl power, even in the 1960s, trumped class divisions.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Opportunities for bad behavior abound in Waldman's novel - the author's prerogative. Roos, though, hasn't cracked the puzzle of how to explore that behavior on screen in such a way that the characters behave badly in interesting, rather than arbitrary, ways.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An earnest, lumpy macramé of a personal nonfiction project.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Irksome dither of an indie drama.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The best stuff: Wow, can those kids hoof - and so, even past his half-century mark, can the preening, Chicago-born Mr. F.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Nothing is new, which is a problem. Nothing is particularly funny or endearing, which is a worse problem.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie can't be saved from its own vices of manic pacing and tediously pro forma pop culture jokes.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The comedic slaps are too limp to leave a mark. Director George Ratliff applied a much clearer eye to "Hell House," his chilling 2001 documentary about a real church.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Soon enough it's back to stale jokes about spousal date nights.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As for the concert itself, it's a generically big, loud, overchoreographed, over-mic'ed, post-Madonna production.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    There's something and nothing for everyone in Conan the Barbarian 3D.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Annabel and Enoch learn from each other, even as time ticks away and the end draws near. Weeping is invited, but by no means required.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The resentments acted out at the dining table by the rest of this miserable family - gathered for a graduation celebration that turns into a wake - are so oppressive that Eugene O'Neill might ask, ''Too much?''
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As the groom's brassy-babe stepmother, Demi Moore does her own share of scenery chewing, but at least she looks like she's having fun.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The biggest surprise in Shame is how distanced, passionless, and merely skin-deep the director's attention is - how little he cares about the subject of his own movie.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A needlessly frenzied, pseudo-raunch comedy that whips up a whole lot of R-rated antics only to arrive at crunchy PG-13 lessons in love and tolerance.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The two stars appear to be as bewildered by the turn of events as we are.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    With no thriller cliché left unused, the gaily outlandish plot is matched by tin-eared dialogue, ripe tough-guy overacting from the very game Pearce, and best-that-she-could acting from Grace.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Her (Harron) torpid adaptation of Rachel Klein's novel about female sexual desire, jealousy, death wishes, and vampires at a girls' boarding school defeats Harron's talent for exploring darkness on the edge of kinkiness.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The editing in Battlefield America is super-speedy: Each shot lasts about three seconds, and then it's off.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Gandhi tries to dodge criticism of his mocking scam by rationalizing that even a phony wise man can offer real solace.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A crotchety, alcoholic, wheelchair-bound coot played on cruise control by Morgan Freeman learns these recycled lessons in a pastel-colored, embroidered wall-hanging of a drama directed by Rob Reiner.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Killer Joe throws down a dare by expecting its audience to be the cool connoisseurs of the story's "comic" outrageousness, then rubbing viewers' faces in close-up scenes of brutality that reasonable people ought not to be able to watch. That up-close experience, however effectively done, is a movie specialty that's its own kind of mean.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The cockeyed C-quality B movie, shot on location with a Balkan supporting cast and crew, mixes a precarious pileup of visual clichés with over-staged action sequences.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    You know what happens in Taken 2, don't you? The same thing that happened four years ago in Taken, but different. (But the same.)
    • 31 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Thor's Chris Hemsworth leads the pack as a high school football star-turned-Marine, while Josh Peck plays his stubborn younger brother. There's also a collection of junior guerrillas, including The Hunger Games' Josh Hutcherson and Friday Night Lights' Adrianne Palicki. Take that, screaming North Koreans with no agenda!
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Everyone in the cast (including Geoffrey Arend, Mark Webber, and Caplan's Party Down colleague Martin Starr) is talented enough to deserve a stronger story line than this.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This steam-driven military weapon of an enterprise is a sobering reminder of just how tinny a musical Les Misérables was in the first place.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In the way of workaday flicks built around long-in-the-tooth badasses, Die Hard 5 leaves room for McClane to make a few jokes about his thinning hair and to rue that he wasn't a better father when his kids were growing up. Oh, boo-hoo.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    No less sweet for being unoriginal: A guy (Charlie Sheen) mourns a bad breakup with the woman he loves (Katheryn Winnick). The execution, on the other hand, is perilously self-absorbed.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 50 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    [A] gimmicky actors' holiday.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A gaggle of hip actors squander their gifts in this unfunny, out-of-control comedy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Along comes Two Can Play That Game to demonstrate that antifeminist silliness is color-blind.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Love means never having to say you're recycling plot material.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In the presence of profound questions, the filmmaker goes profoundly shallow.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The incisive, close up photography by ''The Sixth Sense'''s Tak Fujimoto outclasses the story by yards.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A characteristically engorged and sloppy coming-of-age movie from the filmmaker (''Harvard '66'') who, in his body of work, indulges his fantasies as fetishistically as other men finger their cigars.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    We, the people, are meant to cheer in response, but the spirit isn't willing. War is hell, but so is peace -- at least when it comes to movies in a no-man's-land like this one.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This trip down The Road to El Dorado proceeds under the speed limit all the way.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Politics is almost an afterthought in this balky, attenuated film.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Director Chris Columbus...seals this comedy in an impenetrable bubble of hollow humanism.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The most frightening sight, though, is that of Theron and Bacon, good actors trapped in the muck of making a living.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This unexceptional 1970s coming-of-age story is neither outrageous, new, nor comedic.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Manages to take great characters and a great plot and leach them of all blood, terror, and excitement.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The ethos of the Chelsea Hotel may shape Hawke's artistic aspirations, but he hasn't yet coordinated his own DV poetry with the Beat he hears in his soul.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As ungainly in its jammed-together East-meets-West-ness as Steven Seagal in a yoga pose.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Something puddles to nothing in this relentless Miami sun.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The sides to consider in Taking Sides are all but obscured by cinematic pomposity at best, Holocaust porn at worst.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This wan, formulaic teen movie from ''Metro'' director Thomas Carter is afraid to pump up the volume on its own interracial, hip hop Romeo and Juliet story, lest it challenge even one sedated viewer or disturb the peace.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    8MM
    The whole movie turns into a violent, pointless, torture-or-be-tortured chase.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Here's a romance without a spark of excitement.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The nightmare is that the live guys in this Dreamcatcher lose the battle the minute the mechanical worm turns.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    No excuse for the bitterness and crudity in America's Sweethearts -- a noxious combination that erodes the 1930s and '40s screwball-comedy armature on which this mirthless movie is based.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    What slays them in the second balcony, though, flattens on the screen.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In theory, Zoolander is ''Pret-à-Porter'' on laughing gas. In practice, however, the movie is an ill-fitting suit of gags, too long in the crotch even at 90 minutes.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Union, who looks so chic and can talk so bitchy-funny, doesn't so much establish a character as roll out a series of attitudes. That's all she's called on to do. That's all anyone is called on to do: Be very tame, and make much ado about zilch.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Maybe in a few years the incoherent gaudiness of this underperforming sequel to ''Interview With A Vampire'' -- will have transmuted into a kind of appreciable camp. Until that time, however, we're stuck with this damned production
    • 39 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Petroni takes the poem at face value, turning diaphanous literary imagery opaque and literal.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Any grown men and women who pay to see the movie face a harrowing ordeal.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The antics involving ghosts, chases, and burping that divert the small fry don't mix with the jokey, tribute-band dialogue spouting from the Mystery, Inc. gang.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Brooks guards the movie from overheating in a surfeit of warmedy.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A comic-book superhero has seldom squandered so much screen time being conflicted about his heritage and destiny -- and I don't mean conflicted in a sexy, Wolverine-y, ''X-Men'' way, either; a big-budget comic-book adaptation has rarely felt so humorless and intellectually defensive about its own pulpy roots.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    With every recycled piece of business -- which is to say, every scene in Anything Else -- the distance widens between Allen and the elusive audience he pessimistically chases. He has never seemed less in touch with his own real, pulsing, 21st-century city.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Runs into construction problems, maybe from too many foremen. DeVito favors pushy slapstick; Stiller prefers hotshot sarcasm. Barrymore's comic talents are wasted; she's there for decoration.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    With no Jamie Lee Curtis as a volleying partner, though, Lohan's chipper energy is, like, so totally out of proportion given the colorless pliability of everyone around her.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The lame-o aspects of the whole campy setup are still lame-o.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    For some four fifths of its length, Jersey Girl is as square as a turnpike-diner place mat.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Strands Cedric the Entertainer behind the wheel and forces him to motor a collection of laugh-and-learn wacky situations by sheer force of his outsize charm.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Bassett's natural dramatic fierceness, so powerful when incited to action, is at odds with the knee-weakening sexual surrender required by the story.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    It's not the homosexuality that's dubious here, it's the chicken.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Taylor does that thing she does when she whispers as if she has just discovered speech; Pearce enjoys himself doing his own singing, and embracing grunge.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Cotton candy story with an acrid aftertaste.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The pond is so shallow in this wan romance that there's no room for anything to float.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Filmmaker Jared Hess (who cowrote the script with his wife, Jerusha Hess) installs Napoleon front and center as a punchline in and of himself -- and as that dispiriting product of narrative defeat, a symbol.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    It allows for little of the dark and funny in Irving's picaresque morality fable. No room! Not with the buckets of bathos thrown our way, substituting for mass-market spiritual uplift!
    • 42 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The goons themselves, though, look rather chic, flying through the air in Galliano-goes-to-hell garments straight out of Vampire Vogue.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    When not unnecessarily bland, synthetic, and indistinguishable from undistinguished teen TV, A Cinderella Story is unnecessarily coarse and dumbed down, with every character except Sam and Austin subject to perfunctory ridicule.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The role of a poised daddy's girl is a dull one for Holmes, who looks pained, in a nonspecific way, throughout her capers; the movie itself, with a screenplay by Jessica Bendinger and Kate Kondell, is a dull one for director Forest Whitaker.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The result is a stilted culture clash and a lot of monochromatically conflicted facial expressions from Perry before he's thawed by the love of an ethnic woman.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    It's the showy story, script, and even staging that wear a fella out in this relentlessly precious feature debut by writer-director Jordan Roberts.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Bale exists all too large under the circumstances, a well-fed actor playing at emaciation for the sake of a fiction about a character whose torment is as unreadable as his vertebrae are countable.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Because the talk never gets beyond statement making, and because the characters emit none of Chekhov's radiantly lived-in soulfulness, there's plenty of time to appreciate the sun-kissed landscape.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A poky dawdle of a Southern-style indie that would pass without notice but for John Travolta and Scarlett Johansson.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Reeves is a stiff dancer and he delivers his lines in a full leather jacket monotone.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie is rotten the way that only a denatured made-for-export slice of Gallic nostalgia can be.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    So many body parts from other engineered romantic comedies have been crudely harvested and stitched together in the making of this weird robotic lark that "Maid of Honor of Frankenstein" might be more useful a nickname.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie is in love with its own story loops and fancy, pop-dream cinematography from Almodóvar associate Affonso Beato, which is fine; it's also in love with its own indie-culture cleverness, which isn't.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Peculiarly coy feminine-empowerment fable.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An overly picaresque first feature written and directed by David Duchovny, who also co-stars.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Director and co-writer William Bindley engages every move in the underdog playbook, including, but not limited to, the time the good citizens of Bedford Falls chipped in to make up George Bailey's shortfall in "It's a Wonderful Life."
    • 31 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As for Monster-in-Law, it's tripe on a plate.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Like choral singing and travel photography, this adventure is more fun for participants than it is for spectators.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Anderson's adaptation is heavy on production numbers in which jingles come to life and light on conveying any real feelings of Eisenhower-era darkness the prizewinner herself might have felt during her decades of marriage to an abusive, drunken man.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A junky thriller that mistakes brute-strength plot twist, showy violence, and the against-type participation of Jennifer Aniston for earned excitement.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As an overwrought, overacted drama, Kill the Poor is negligible.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Buscemi is stymied here by the inertia of his material.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    RV
    As Williams ricochets between playing submissive soft-drink executive tethered to the whims of a hysterical boss and pathetic dad at the wheel, trying to cajole his family into vacation satisfaction, we can be excused for getting carsick.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The only real magic in The Lake House is that Kate and Alex have never heard of e-mail.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Can these banal relationships between undifferentiated lovelies be saved?
    • 37 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Writer-director Steven Zaillian's version stultifies, especially when compared with Robert Rossen's fiery 1949 Oscar winner. How could such dullness defeat the retelling, when Willie Stark is one of the most vivid characters in 20th-century American popular culture?
    • 39 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Williams turns out to be exactly the wrong candidate for the job, a comedian singularly uninterested in letting anyone else get a word in, but with nothing to say.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Nothing more than a bad harvest.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Every character in The Architect is crazily stuccoed with crisis.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    I just don't know any chick who will make sense of this flick -- it's that blitheringly out of touch with present psychosexual (never mind feminist) time and space.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Nothing about this sputtering midlife-crisis family comedy is natural except the timeless notion that even the most latte-tamed baby boomer has the power to reclaim his inner Iron John. Ray Liotta provides the one true blast of comedic energy as the leader of a real, more pugnacious head-butting gang who tangles with the four amigos.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Be prepared to collapse into a hoot and a howl of hilarity at all the wrong moments.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    One piece of advice in trying to make sense of it all: Follow the sleepwear, since Bullock cycles through a few garments that clarify which day is which. Another suggestion? Ignore the two-bit psychological and spiritual doggerel with which screenwriter Bill Kelly tries to deepen the meaning of the game.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Pathfinder's moody, muddy look is courtesy of music-video director Marcus Nispel, who doesn't distinguish between people and tree trunks when it comes to emotional content.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An overstructured, overacted indie drama about gambling, addiction, and the sawdusty romanticism of old-time magicians.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This puffed-up Western set in Big Sky country becomes a small-screen horse opera.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Myself, I felt victimized by the stereotype shtick of reliably grating Rob Schneider as a Canadian-Japanese wedding-chapel minister from SNL castoff hell. But maybe that's just because this movie encourages sensitivity by hitting everyone over the head with its humor hammer.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Wan, generically pretty adaptation of Alessandro Baricco's 1996 novel.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    So shameless is The Kingdom, ignoring consequence and treating its audience like cash-dispensing machines with buttons to be pushed rather than thinking individuals willing to consider the reality of America's entanglement with the Middle East.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Rudd's talents as a thinking woman's charmer are wasted -- as are those of amiable Jason Biggs in a weak variation on the pop theme of being a gal's gay best friend.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The big goofball relies too much on the funny hair and swingin' postures of the era as punchlines in themselves.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An only-in-the-movies mother hustles pool to raise the money to abduct the son she's been forbidden to see since her divorce.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Long before the second hour of Australia (which feels like the fifth), it's clear that Luhrmann hasn't found a satisfactory way to make a movie nearly as ballsy -- or coherent -- as he wants his creation to be.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A brain-squandering thriller.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Lane and Gere mime adult courtship with the efficiency of synchronized swimmers. Yet in this ocean of emotion, they look like they're drowning.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A Smith production is always noisy, shambling, and liberally smutty on the outside while conservatively gooey on the inside.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The story is as impersonal as it is labored.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The result is a slack do-over fantasy in which Zac Efron, as a basketball star, looks baffled as to why he hasn't been asked to sing and dance.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The message that comes across is: We're all screwed, and then we die. Ba-DUM.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A charmless rom-com.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The Other Man is self-conscious, overproduced, overacted Euro-marital hoo-ha.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The makers of this mediocre comedy about dorky guys who work in a cut-rate electronics store probably hoped that "40 Year-Old Virgin" lightning would strike twice. It doesn't.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Be prepared to swallow a lot of empty-calorie jokes in which blacks and Latinos insult and misunderstand one another in a spirit of vigorous buffoonery.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Requires Neeson to stare coldly and talk to corpses, but Ricci has the greater dramatic challenge: She has to operate, unfazed, in close-up nakedness much of the time.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As Carrie might type on her laptop while giving one of her girly little shrugs, When did Sex and the City become so long and mean so little?
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The result is a naughty throwaway in all senses of the word.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Twelve ogles the lost boys and girls as they make their mistakes. But unlike the novel, the movie never really gets inside these kids, who aren't in the least all right.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Clumsy camera work adds to the pre-wedding jitters in writer-director Galt Niederhoffer's pashmina-thin drama about attractive self-congratulatory Yale alumni gathering for the nuptials of two of their own.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Milla Jovovich slinks cartoonishly as Stone's seductive wife, on a mission to compromise the lawman. Lordy.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Now it's just some thin chick in her underwear, kicking butt.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Earnestly ersatz down to every spangle, dance move, plot turn, and line of hokum dialogue, Burlesque is a showbiz pic for these American Idol times - a time when we agree to pretend that mediocre mimicry of better artists is good enough to keep us entertained. We agree to pretend that quality is in the eye and ear of the undemanding beholder.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Perry has taken Shange's feminist word-and-movement portraits of disenfranchised African-American women and turned those howls into...a maddeningly choppy mess of a Tyler Perry movie.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Comedy has changed. Jack can only give his son-in-law the stink eye so many times before the whole "I'm watching you" pantomime gets stale.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In a last-minute tweak, the production has also been meaninglessly 3-D-ified - never mind that there's nothing whatsoever 3-D-ish going on. Maybe those clumsy 3-D glasses are meant to let moviegoers mimic the superhero mask-wearing experience?
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    You should hear instead about Sam Elliott and Mary Steenburgen, who whip up cowboy fun as married U.S. marshals assigned to protect the pair in Wyoming.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A drippy, uninvolving movie adaptation.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Thumpingly silly yet self-serious period-piece what-if.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    What we learn in this all-pain/no-pleasure episode is that marriage feels like a life sentence, weddings are miserable events, honeymoon sex is dangerous and leaves a bride covered in bruises, and pregnancy is a torment that leads to death in exchange for birth.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie is a folly, a desultory vanity project for its director and co-writer. But for those very reasons, W.E., by world-renowned personage and lesser-known filmmaker Madonna, is not without twisted interest.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As with his previous film "Fireflies in the Garden," writer-director Dennis Lee scratches the skin of family bonds until it bleeds. This time, he uses whimsy as a salve.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    What's shocking this time is how tame Sacha Baron Cohen's newest wild man is, for all the kerfuffle the comedian can stir up on the ­promotional trail.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    If this amateur justice league spent as much time analyzing clues as they did analyzing their junk, in every slang variation available in the Urban Dictionary, the murder mystery in The Watch could have been solved on the first night of surveillance.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Even those who don't know a foul tip from a chicken wing will be able to spot the desperate plays.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A cloddish, harmlessly drecky comedy from the Sandler factory of crude mush.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    It's tastelessness like this, served up as fair-game dish to a Downton Abbey-loving audience, that sours the flavor of this tittery production.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie is a morals-free procession of bang bang bang! and blood blood blood!, and men slamming each other with blunt objects and slicing each other with blades.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    What's ultimately shocking about Kika is how empty mayhem can be made to look.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Every porridgy inmate in this instantly forgettable romp warbles in the prison's amateur musical, and one of them demonstrates a rather extreme devotion to the tomatoes he grows in the on-site greenhouse.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Garish, squeal-pitched preteen comedy.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A film not even a star as foxed and foxy as Johnny Depp himself could save.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This toothless thriller...feels like a strained reworking of ''The Fugitive.''
    • 30 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The characters who cross paths here in the hard shadows of late-'90s New York City are meant to convey loneliness, bitterness, neediness, loss, and bad karma. Mostly, they convey bad Sundance.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Nobody's got a clue. Enquiring minds don't even want to know.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A recitation of woes doesn't constitute a plot, and panoramic shots of migrating wildlife don't convey enough African flavor.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    McCarthy's rawhide has become movie Naugahyde, a substance unknown in literature or in nature.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The endless, numbing sameness of it all.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Silly, undone by lack of faith in its own subject.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Empty jokes hang heavy.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Features the dullest, least lifelike collection of pals this side of "Eyes Wide Shut."
    • Entertainment Weekly
    • 45 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    No worse than any disease-of-the-week TV movie, and no more moralistic than any Lifetime drama. But it's no better, either, and it ought to be.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A demented, orgiastically gory vampire/sex parable.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Without any of the patented Farrelly insight into the insecure, horndoggy teen in every man, and without a grown-up setting in which Harry and Lloyd can transgress like dum-dum geniuses,Dumb and Dumberer is dumberest.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Not one female character escapes mockery or patronizing.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The few jaunty, ''Friends''-inflected lines Perry does get off are lost among the cow pies.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Ultimately, the talented cast -- among them M. Emmet Walsh, Faye Dunaway, Skeet Ulrich, and Viggo Mortensen -- play to their easiest star turns rather than their most interesting strengths.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A portentous and goopy Dutch drama.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The film values quips and declamations over natural conversation (or an explanation of how such intelligent women could have been so blind to world events).
    • 40 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    There's no enjoyably outlandish hiss to this variation on the formula, and no Ice Cube or Owen Wilson, either. This time, a ship of capitalist fools (and no movie stars, unless you count utility player Morris Chestnut as a headliner) steams along the river in Borneo.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    What's on screen is lazy, second-rate, phoned-in -- a heist in which it's the audience whose pockets have been picked.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    If your allergy to comedies bred from British style mugging crossed with Disney style prancing has, like mine, flared up in recent years, this hybrid from writer director Joel Hershman (''Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me'') will make you wheeze.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Just as all regular models can't be supermodels, so all action chicks can't be superheroines. Elektra Natchios turns out to be walled off rather than mysteriously alluring; blank rather than deep.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This is strictly substandard stuff, with imitative creepy noises, vertiginous camera angles, and long pauses.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    An Unfinished Life is inert, kaput -- a middlebrow mush of platitudes rather than an okay corral of distinct characters with heartbeats. It's awful not in an exciting, uncontrolled way but in an overly controlled, narcotized way.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Yet Speed 2 is as slow-moving as a garbage scow. Those blinking lights might as well be emanating from a vital-signs monitor. The story is dead in the water.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A mess -- all high concept, stranded performances, and no laughs.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    British director Mike Barker and magpie New York screenwriter Howard Himelstein, have taken "Lady Windermere's Fan" - Wilde's first big stage success, written in 1892 - and pulped it senseless in the name of puttin' on the charm.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A notorious opinion divider last year at Cannes, Battle in Heaven is less about heaven or battle, or hell on earth, or the soul of Mexico, and all too much about gawking. And so, for all the ''shock'' of the movie's clinical carnality, this battle is lost.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Insistently sullen, nihilistic, and successful to the point of smugness at transmitting buzzkill, Art School Confidential is the second collaboration between art-house cartoonist Daniel Clowes and director Terry Zwigoff.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Yes indeed, Pirates 2.0 is a theme ride, if by ride you mean a hellish contraption into which a ticket holder is strapped, overstimulated but unsatisfied, and unable to disengage until the operator releases the restraining harness.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Terminally muddled crime drama.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Holland's empurpled bio-fantasy is hooey with an anachronistic feminist slant from start to finish.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    I don't know if it's ickier to assume that writer-director Brad Silberling (Moonlight Mile) thinks the culture-clash jokes he pushes in 10 Items or Less are charming because they're earnest, or because they're tongue-in-cheek. Either way, this sale is void.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This slapdash, charmless, baldly boomer-chasing romantic comedy, directed by Michael Lehmann (Heathers) from a clunky, orgasm-obsessed script by Karen Leigh Hopkins and Jessie Nelson, is the lazy studio's answer to a call for more age-appropriate entertainment for "More" magazine readers.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Really, all this movie is about is the joy of checks, calls, folds, rivers, and the acquired thrill of knowing what those words mean.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Nightwatch is a horror for reasons that have nothing to do with suspenseful moviemaking.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The gooey sanctity of the bond between fathers and sons all but nullify Jackson's zesty performance.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Washington is wasted here. Kelly Lynch is wooden. Crowe has a ball going over the top, but how much taunting and eyeball popping can a performer do?
    • 38 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Robin Williams (yes, I'm afraid so) plays a kind of Manhattan-based Fagin with a touch of Midnight Cowboy to his wardrobe. And ants will play havoc in any cynic's pants as this loopy, goopy fairy tale about a kid looking for his parents oozes to its predictable finish.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    FYI, there's zero chemistry between P.S. I Love You's two commodified headliners. P.S.: The plus in the harsh grade goes solely to the divine Lisa Kudrow, delivering desperately needed laughs as the twitchy widow's husband-hunting best friend.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Perelman pays such cooing attention to surfaces that our response to violence carries no more importance than our response to the delicate jewelry around the adult Diana's neck.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    This Debbie Downer of a drama is a bitter slog.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Subplots go nowhere, and characters -- many played by well-known actors -- barely get screen time. Willem Dafoe, Salma Hayek, and Jane Krakowski are among those who are there and gone.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The scenery (prettily captured by There Will Be Blood cinematographer Robert Elswit) is littered with heavy symbolism (fire! rain! dead birds!); the performances are merely heavy.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As a shameless contraption of ridiculously sad things befalling attractive people, the engorged romantic tragedy Remember Me stands tall between those towering monuments to teen-oriented cinematic misery, Love Story and Twilight.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The star is done in by the deathless mediocrity of the production, an assemblage of random camera shots, messy editing, redundant scenes, and witless dialogue as haphazardly stitched together as the flesh on Jonah Hex's face.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Red Riding Hood goes from trite to triter, a plot collapse that overtakes any of the visual prettiness from cinematographer Mandy Walker (Beastly).
    • 36 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Soul-sucking romantic comedy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Old Holden would call the whole movie phony, and I agree, if you want to know the truth.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The second insurmountable problem is the difference between Parker's performance as a fortysomething banker, wife, and mother musing (in voice-over) at her computer and her previous performance as a single, thirtysomething girl-about-town in "Sex and the City": There is none. I don't know why she does it.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In one form or another, you get exactly what you pay for at an Adam Sandler comedy. Otherwise the man wouldn't have earned zillions.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    So let's hear it for the giant wig of Pre-Raphaelite gray corkscrews planted on the noggin of Jane Fonda as a glamorous hippie grandma. The hairdo meets its match in the dull Ann Taylor togs encasing Catherine Keener: That's how you know Granny's daughter is an uptight lawyer.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 33 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Self-righteous and smug in its use of heartland stereotypes, the movie backfires by assuming that its intended liberal audience is just as intolerant and condescending as the conservative opposition insists it is.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    As distressed as a comedy can be without qualifying as a snow emergency.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Director Peter O'Fallon fires his biggest gun: a blast of Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus, truly heavenly music wasted on a handful of dust.