For 2,295 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 52% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 3.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lou Lumenick's Scores

  • Movies
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 A Serious Man
Lowest review score: 0 Pokémon Heroes
Score distribution:
2,295 movie reviews
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A good cast equipped with cute names is forced to muddle through terminal whimsy in this less-than-magical adaptation of Aimee Bender's adult fairy tale, sluggishly directed by Marilyn Agrelo, who more successfully helmed the delightful documentary "Mad Hot Ballroom."
    • 68 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Basically a carefully airbrushed and authorized portrait of the Gray Lady during 14 months when there was serious speculation about the paper's impending demise.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Amy Sedaris, channeling her inner Frances McDormand as a hyper admissions coach, gets most of the laughs.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    There are probably enough moments to satisfy hard-core fans, but for the rest of us, this amounts to the Middle Earth equivalent of “Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones,’’ a space-holding, empty-headed epic filled with characters and places (digital and otherwise) that are hard to keep straight, much less care about.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The only darkness here — besides the dingy-looking images dimmed by 3-D glasses — is the murky plot, which is as silly as it is arbitrary.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    In this pretentious art-house downer version of "The Bad Seed," the only surprise is that the folks didn't ship the little monster off to the looney bin before he reached puberty.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Poor John Leguizamo, who hopefully got well-paid to voice a stereotypical Latino bird providing a stream of nonsensical narration.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Should appeal more to those who like to watch stuff blow up than understand exactly why the carnage is transpiring.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A great-looking but wearyingly cliched and confusing vanity production.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Markopolos repeatedly tells us he was scared for his life -- accompanied by hokey archival clips and music -- though nothing actually happened to him.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Even if Corben hadn't photographed Gatien with lighting that makes him look like a horror-movie villain, he'd hardly come off as innocent.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    For starters, it wasn't a great idea to basically borrow the premise of "The Blues Brothers'' and turn these quintessential Jewish characters (something that's not even hinted at) into the bumbling would-be saviors of the Catholic orphanage where they were raised.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A sluggish and murky sub-Polanski-esque psychodrama.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    When Neeson engages in bare-knuckle fisticuffs at the climax of the cartoonish Taken 2, I honestly couldn't figure out if the 60-year-old actor was actually present at all except for the close-ups.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Steve Carell is fatally miscast as an arrogant, flamboyant third-rate magician in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, which by all rights should have been a second-rate Will Ferrell vehicle.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    It's hard to make a movie about moonshiners that isn't entertaining, but the lethargic, generically titled Lawless comes perilously close - at least a third of its two hours is devoted to "arty'' shots of landscapes.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The real coup de grace for this would-be serious-minded drama is the sledgehammer-subtle direction of Paul Weitz (who is also the screenwriter), who enabled his star's paycheck mugging in the execrable "Little Fockers."
    • 67 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    There's little sense of the Carol Channing beneath the overdone makeup - if there is one.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Has its laughs, but pretty much every single one of them is in the trailer. And even more unfortunately, the improbable new romantic comedy team of Steve Carell and Keira Knightley works about as well as you'd guess - like oil and water.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Overlong and grim to the point where some scenes are virtually unwatchable.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Yes, there's some spectacular footage. But there's also an awful lot of filler for a 40-minute movie.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The sometimes painfully sincere and slow-moving For Greater Glory clearly aspires to be inspirational, but history won't cooperate. The Cristeros triumphed not because of their faith, but because the United States exerted diplomatic pressure to protect its oil interests in Mexico.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    There's nothing you haven't seen before - and better - in Deadfall, which would seem to appeal mostly to fans of snowmobile chases.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Michael J. Bassett's Solomon Kane is been there, done that.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Overall, the rambling Jayne Mansfield’s Car is almost as big a wreck as its namesake.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A raunchy, sporadically funny comedy.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The feel-bad movie of the holiday season, Spike Lee’s often-repellent Americanized reimagining of Korean director Chan-Wook Park’s twisty 2004 revenge thriller Oldboy is relentlessly gruesome, self-consciously shocking and pretty much pointless.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Slicker than most attempts to document Monroe's successes and tragic trajectory, but even her own words don't provide much more of an insight into what made this troubled icon tick.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    O'Brien also provided the lethargic direction and collaborated with Messina on the cliché-infested script, which is long on booze-filled confessions.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Admittedly, I’m far from a fan of Korine’s “Gummo,’’ “Julien Donkey-Boy’’ and the absymal “Trash Humpers.’’ But that he is proud of making intentionally sloppy and tedious movies doesn’t make them any easier to watch. Or all that much fun, for that matter.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Jobs amounts to, at best, a Cliffs Notes version of the man’s early life. If you want the real story, you’ll have to read Walter Isaacson’s fascinating 2011 biography, which would make a much better film than this one.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A rare dud from great Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar, I’m So Excited! is a campy, sex-obsessed spoof of airborne-disaster movies that never really gets off the ground.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Love and Honor may be politically clueless, but Hemsworth and the student journalist he hooks up with (fellow Aussie Teresa Palmer of “Warm Bodies’’) do make an undeniably attractive couple.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    If you’re going to invest three hours watching a movie about a convicted stock swindler, it needs to be a whole lot more compelling than Martin Scorsese’s handsome, sporadically amusing and admittedly never boring — but also bloated, redundant, vulgar, shapeless and pointless — Wolf of Wall Street.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    As in genuine porn, most of the acting (except for Skarsgard, who deliberately tries to be funny and sometimes succeeds) is as flat and uninteresting as the script — even when the older Joe narrates a montage of flaccid penises.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Nothing in Redemption quite adds up, including the paranoid hero’s insistence that he’s being watched by drones.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This is less a documentary than a wholly uncritical celebration.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Their misadventures in the Big Apple, including Giamatti’s involvement with a Russian house sitter (a bizarrely cast Sally Hawkins) are neither funny nor touching, just tedious.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Dear John is the sort of movie that gives tearjerkers a bad name.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Neither a concert film nor a documentary but a ghoulish “event” offered just in time for Halloween, This is It is sadly -- and reprehensively, if you ask me -- the movie equivalent to the National Enquirer’s infamous post-mortem shot of Elvis Presley.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    When New York, I Love You was previewed in Toronto a year ago, there were two additional segments that have since been cut. So you'll have to wait for the DVD to see just how bad Scarlett Johansson's directing debut is.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    After a slightly promising start, this great-looking but ultimately deeply confusing and unscary sci-fi/horror opus turns into a quite boring rehash of M. Night Shyamalan's post-"Signs" films.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It’s often hard to figure out who’s winning, much less care about it. One thing is certain: Nobody is going to be demanding a rematch.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Liev Schreiber's film version of "Everything Is Illuminated" achieves the impossible — it's even more annoying than Jonathan Safran Foer's gratingly precocious novel.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A protracted piece of schmaltz, P.S. I Love You looks like a hand-me-down from Sandra Bullock and Drew Barrymore.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    So bad it's awful.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Poor Keaton, a capable actor who was absent from the screen for several years, is hamstrung by the material even more than in last year's dismal "First Daughter."
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Deadly dull.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A vulgar, grating alleged "family" comedy.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The MPAA's rating explanation for this PG-13-rated snoozer misleadingly claims it contains "intense sequences of terror/violence"; it would be more accurate to state that Boogeyman contains "virtually every horror-movie cliché of the past 30 years."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Plays like an unwieldy mishmash of "Big Momma's House," "An Unmarried Woman" and "The Burning Bed," with lots of gospel music thrown in.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    If the once red-hot Vin Diesel's overhyped career wasn't finished off by last summer's mega flop "The Chronicles of Riddick," the alleged family comedy The Pacifier ought to do the trick.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A mockumentary that veers unsteadily between satire and an infomercial for Dash's Roc-A-Fella records.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A bland, dull and only occasionally funny waste of time that will very soon be gathering dust in the remainder bins.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Most of this movie is beyond lame. It almost makes "A Cinderella Story" -- the ever-mugging Duff's surprise hit of last summer -- look like a real movie by comparison.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Un-magical, unfunny and un-romantic alleged comedy.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A perfect storm of wooden acting, hackneyed direction, inane scripting and laughably cartoonish special effects produces a shapeless mess more wearyingly stupid than arch-villian Dr. Doom is evil.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The bottom line of Last Days seems to be, fame's a bitch. Yes, Gus - now start making movies again that tell stories, please.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A collection of product plugs masquerading as a movie en route to home video.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A schmaltz-laden soap opera from Saskatchewan.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A cheesy, often unintentionally funny, direct-to-video-caliber knockoff of "Aliens" that couldn't be more shallow.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The only hint of professionalism comes from Cheech Marin as Cannon's boss, who at times seems to be acting in a different movie.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    G
    This poorly acted, directed and written (but slick-looking) vanity project was produced by Andrew Lauren (Ralph's son also ineptly plays G's major-domo) and shot at least four years ago.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Those endless end credits reveal that McKittrick previously worked at Steak & Ale, Roadhouse Grill and Friday's. He may well need to return to his line of work after a debut as dismal as this one.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Any way you slice it, A Tale of Two Pizzas is so ineptly written and directed that it's pretty soggy entertainment.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A trite, incoherent and pretentious bomb.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Wal-Mart's home office in Bentonville, Ark., can rest easy: Greenwald, as usual, is hysterically preaching to the choir.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Hyperactive.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Painfully unfunny spoof.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    THE mesmerizingly awful The Kid & I is a historic first: a comedy about the making of a vanity production that is ITSELF a vanity production.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A pathetic stoner comedy.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Painfully sincere. But it wrings almost no laughs or tears from this seemingly idiot-proof premise.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Another ridiculous anti-American screed by the minimalist Danish director Lars von Trier, who has never set foot in this country.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Ineptly directed by Simon West, the scare-free When a Stranger Calls is the worst of the seminal horror movies from the late '70s and early '80s that have been getting the remake treatment lately.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    With Roth at the helm of a script attributed to Price, there is minimal suspense, audience involvement or coherent social commentary.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    William H. Macy lends a little class as a snail, but Smith nails it in the closing-credit outtakes: "Don't expect Robin Williams-caliber work."
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Who let this dog out?
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Watchable in a train-wreck kind of way, but you'll probably want to take a shower afterwards.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Most of the interviews are as brief as they are obvious, and it doesn't help that none of those interviewees, including clergymen who served as technical advisers, are identified.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Scary Movie 4 concludes by satirizing Cruise's couch-jumping orgy on "Oprah." Funny, but nowhere near as hilarious as the real thing.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A great-looking but stupefyingly incoherent supernatural thriller adapted from a popular video game that ransacks the entire catalog of horror film tropes for more than two mind-numbing hours.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Arguably as effective as Ambien at inducing sleep, but possible side effects include uncontrollable laughter.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Sometimes there's a fine line between a labor of love and a vanity project, and The Lost City, Andy Garcia's heartfelt - but hackneyed and interminable - love letter to his native Cuba, repeatedly crosses it.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Looks great for a no-budget indie, but not a single moment rings true in this sluggish vanity project, which is sorely in need of Viagra.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Slow-witted and occasionally unintentionally hilarious.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Sexual and toilet humor plumb new depths in Keenen Ivory Wayans' Little Man, which will stink up theaters like several gross of dirty diapers.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Despite this seemingly surefire premise and cast of veteran comedians - there's even a cameo by Liza Minnelli as a masturbation coach - The OH in Ohio just lies there, without a single laugh.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A charmless, unscary, fatuous and largely incoherent fairy tale.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    I wouldn't have thought it was possible to make a prison picture as utterly boring as Jailbait.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Pulse bears more than a slight resemblance to a 1994 American horror called "Ghost in the Machine." They didn't screen that stinker in advance for critics, either.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A repugnant little indie black comedy, poorly acted in hideous-looking digital video, guaranteed to send audiences fleeing for the nearest shower.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A strained, ultra-predictable and headache-inducing mockumentary.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The sort of lowbrow sports comedy best enjoyed on a 50-inch screen with a six-pack, a bucket of wings and a fast-forward button.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    An excellent case for euthanizing the entire talking-animals genre.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Rarely has a documentary been so pleased with itself - with so little justification.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    One of the year's worst movies.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A deadly dull, by-the-numbers rendition of the Nativity story.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    An ugly, unfunny, headache-inducing fairy-tale spoof.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Suspenselessly directed by Robby Henson, Thr3e commits the eighth deadly sin - boredom.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Thirty years after "Annie Hall," the beloved actress is scraping below the bottom of the barrel with this desperately unfunny farce, in which she mugs and pratfalls in the worst performance of her entire career.