For 2,481 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 52% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 5.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lou Lumenick's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 56
Highest review score: 100 Tadpole
Lowest review score: 0 Twisted
Score distribution:
2481 movie reviews
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Remarkably dull thriller.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The kind of movie that cries out for the fast-forward button.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This (hopefully) final chapter's interminable first hour...showcases some of the clunkiest dialogue and wooden acting since the most recent "Star Wars" movies.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A raunchy, sporadically funny comedy.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A very shallow, very glossy 2½-hour travelogue starring a miscast Julia Roberts as a spoiled, self-centered divorcée who decides to get away from it all.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Even dumber than Perry's "Three to Tango," this latest sitcommy exercise is sporadically funny in spite of itself -- and not quite as dreadful as you would suspect.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Incoherent, inept, testosterone-drenched mess, which is very much the brain-dead male equivalent of "Sex and the City 2."
    • 29 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This is less a documentary than a wholly uncritical celebration.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Pretentious, stagy and over-the-top update of Chekov's "The Three Sisters."
    • 56 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The opening montage raises expectations of a serious, politically incisive depiction of the region. What we actually get is an offensively pandering, Bruckheimer-esque riff on the real-life Khobar Towers bombing of 1996, a Saudi Hezbollah attack that killed 19 Americans.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The clichéd and predictable Suspect Zero is the latest evidence that Hollywood has run the serial-killer thriller into the ground through overuse - the same way it earlier exhausted, say, buddy action-comedies.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Amy Sedaris, channeling her inner Frances McDormand as a hyper admissions coach, gets most of the laughs.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A great-looking but wearyingly cliched and confusing vanity production.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Murphy has fallen back into the comfortable rut of sloppy family comedies that are low on laughs and high on toilet jokes.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Well-meaning yawn-fest.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Remarkably sluggish and not particularly suspenseful.
    • New York Post
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Might have worked as a 10-minute sketch.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Slicker than most attempts to document Monroe's successes and tragic trajectory, but even her own words don't provide much more of an insight into what made this troubled icon tick.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The longest 85-minute road trip you could imagine.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A non-starter.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    It's not uninteresting, but so much footage is given over to earnest discussion of sexual politics that the overall effect is like sitting through a semester's worth of transgender studies.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Here comes Wayne Kramer's Crossing Over, a bid to create the "Crash" of illegal-immigration dramas.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Hopefully Jennifer Lawrence will actually be given something worthwhile to do next time around. That would actually be worth paying to see.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This messy, disappointing, self-important and utterly humorless version of the Marvel comic book character may be the toughest flick with a green protagonist to sit through since "The Grinch."
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A depressingly predictable journey of self-discovery.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Feels like it was written and directed by an audience focus group in Omaha?
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Smartphone apps don’t particularly lend themselves well to political allegory or satire. But that’s precisely what the makers of this fitfully amusing animated adaptation of the once-popular game seem to be fruitlessly attempting.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Filmmaker Josh Stolberg claims to have been inspired by real-life events, but mostly he ineptly rips off other movies and wastes a cast that includes Rosanna Arquette, Adam Arkin and Elizabeth Perkins.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    In this pretentious art-house downer version of "The Bad Seed," the only surprise is that the folks didn't ship the little monster off to the looney bin before he reached puberty.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    That someone as smart as Duchovny would get bogged down in such predictable treacle is a mystery worthy of investigation by Scully and Mulder.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This intense psycho-sexual drama doesn't easily lend itself to the camera.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Less fun than any circus movie I've ever seen - and I've seen lots. Maybe they should send in the clowns.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Rarely have I wanted to fast-forward through a movie as much as Click, a treacly and not-funny-enough Adam Sandler comedy.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Lust, Caution could have done with a lot more lust and a lot less caution.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Even if Corben hadn't photographed Gatien with lighting that makes him look like a horror-movie villain, he'd hardly come off as innocent.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A murky and morbid dirge of a gay romance.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The characters are so cartoonish, it's hard to care on any level -- except that it wastes such talented performers.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Watching Meryl Streep act can be an exhausting experience - and never more so than during Music of the Heart.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Unlike Van Sant's grittier, less sentimental recent small films, it's twee enough to make your teeth ache. It's the director's biggest miscalculation since "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" 18 years ago.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This overlong, obvious and indifferently acted melodrama was written and directed by Luke Eberl, a former child actor, before he turned 21.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Coming-of-age road trips have rarely been more tedious or predictable.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A truly baffling late entry in the "Pulp Fiction" sweepstakes that ends up drowning in its own pretensions -- along with, quite possibly, what's left of Val Kilmer's movie career.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    An unrelenting assault on the brain and eardrums.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Dicey entertainment, indeed.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The kind of thriller whose ridiculous climax hinges on a hitherto undisclosed GPS tracking device in a dog's collar - an appropriate touch in a movie that's more than a little flea-ridden itself.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The real coup de grace for this would-be serious-minded drama is the sledgehammer-subtle direction of Paul Weitz (who is also the screenwriter), who enabled his star's paycheck mugging in the execrable "Little Fockers."
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    If you insist on seeing Soul Men, stick around during the closing credits for the best part of the movie, an interview with Mac.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Slick as a pig and reeking of phony sympathy for recession-wracked consumers, The Joneses is a black comedy about stealth marketing made by a filmmaker who's evidently much too close to the subject to bite the hand that feeds him.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Solid performances can't save Melissa Painter's pretentious teen drama Steal Me, which plays like a cross between "Dangerous Skin" (without the gay sex) and "Picnic" (without the production values or credible situations).
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A screwball farce that pulls off a pitifully low percentage of its gags, even with a star-crammed cast.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A lot more stupid action - and a lot less heart - than the character-driven original, as Stuart ends up rescuing Margalo from Falcon.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    With thinly drawn characters, uneven performances and tin-eared dialogue, Stonewall plays at best like a musical without the songs.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Sitcomish, stereotypical and sporadically funny romantic comedy.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Milks the very real problem of "organ tourism" for all the melodrama and car chases it's worth.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The pretentious and unrelievedly glum first feature from music-video and advertising director Nenad Cicin-Sain, The Time Being looks sharp, but it’s about as dramatically satisfying as watching paint dry.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The effects are cheesy, the photography is murky, the sets look like leftovers from a Las Vegas stage spectacular -- and the flick appears to have been edited with a roulette wheel.
    • New York Post
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Abysmal performances, limp direction (Will Gould) and a heavy-handed script drive a stake through a semi-interesting idea about the persecution of gay werewolves in a remote English village.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Who let this dog out?
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Slow-witted and occasionally unintentionally hilarious.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    This excruciating adaptation of the innocuous '70s cartoon show makes the film version of "Josie and the Pussycats" look sophisticated by comparison.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    None of this is remotely funny or interesting.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The low point of the new Shall We Dance comes when Miss Paulina finally confesses why she's so sad.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A lame teen comedy.
    • New York Post
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Slow-moving, yawn-inducing remake.
    • New York Post
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    This is an exhausting, eyeball-gougingly ugly 90-minute assault of non-stop action, with an all-star voice cast shouting witless lines and a wide variety of objects lobbed at the audience in the crudest 3-D fashion.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Wal-Mart's home office in Bentonville, Ark., can rest easy: Greenwald, as usual, is hysterically preaching to the choir.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Despite much effort, neither Johnson nor director George Tillman Jr. ("Notorious") can make this preposterous tale, live up to its title.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    If the once red-hot Vin Diesel's overhyped career wasn't finished off by last summer's mega flop "The Chronicles of Riddick," the alleged family comedy The Pacifier ought to do the trick.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Elaborate vanity production.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    This mess was directed with no skill whatsoever by Jesse Dylan, whose father, Bob, once urged us all to get stoned.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Un-magical, unfunny and un-romantic alleged comedy.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Indulges in some of the crudest Jewish stereotypes seen in a recent movie, right down to the crack about every Jewish girl having a nose job.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Despite solid contributions by vets such as Michael Lerner and Daniel Stern, Caleo isn't able to sell The Last Time - not the affair and especially not the ludicrous twist ending.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The stars' utter failure to create sparks is only one of the problems with this Labor Day weekend dump job.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The sort of lowbrow sports comedy best enjoyed on a 50-inch screen with a six-pack, a bucket of wings and a fast-forward button.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A labored romantic farce whose only asset is Carlos Leon, best known as the father of Madonna's daughter Lourdes.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Ineptly written and directed, the nihilistic The Son of No One flaunts an attitude best summed up by a cynical Pacino -- "A man has to live with s--t.'' Maybe so, Al, but audiences have the option of skipping this bomb.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Mostly unfunny, extremely silly pingpong comedy.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A flaccidly pretentious and snooze-inducing trilogy of allegedly racy tales.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    To describe Love, Honor and Obey as a cross between "Duets" and "Snatch" doesn't begin to suggest how desperately unfunny this musical gangster comedy is.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A shipwreck. They say a dead fish stinks from the head first - but the animated shipwreck Shark Tale arrives reeking all over.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The MPAA's rating explanation for this PG-13-rated snoozer misleadingly claims it contains "intense sequences of terror/violence"; it would be more accurate to state that Boogeyman contains "virtually every horror-movie cliché of the past 30 years."
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    More "it stinks" than *NSYNC.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Basically a much schmaltzier fantasy version of “Love Story.’’
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    “Scratch the surface and there’s only more surface,’’ a character all too accurately observes in this clunky, ugly and dull mash-up of a mystery.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    So nasty, hysterical and long-winded -- and unintentionally makes capital punishment foes look so twisted -- you wish someone had administered a lethal injection to this dreck in its planning stages.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Suspenselessly directed by Robby Henson, Thr3e commits the eighth deadly sin - boredom.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A trite, incoherent and pretentious bomb.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Crashing chandelier, crashing bore.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Any way you slice it, A Tale of Two Pizzas is so ineptly written and directed that it's pretty soggy entertainment.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A slow-moving, dirt-dull narrative crammed with clunky expository dialogue and obscure Biblical references.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A total disaster.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Dear John is the sort of movie that gives tearjerkers a bad name.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Isn't particularly funny, romantic or well-acted. It drags on endlessly.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Hard-core Hollywood haters will best appreciate Maps to the Stars, a campy poison-pen letter to Tinseltown that makes “Sunset Boulevard’’ look like a tourism infomercial by comparison.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Shlocky, sloppy and crass adolescent comedy.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Rock appears to have edited I Think I Love My Wife with a roulette wheel.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A bland, dull and only occasionally funny waste of time that will very soon be gathering dust in the remainder bins.

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