For 2,481 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 52% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 5.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lou Lumenick's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 56
Highest review score: 100 Shrek
Lowest review score: 0 Bunraku
Score distribution:
2481 movie reviews
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The sort of misfire that Hollywood has long buried in January.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Wastes some veteran performers in a slight, silly musical fantasy with two left feet.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    When Will I Be Loved would rate no stars except for Campbell's brave, totally committed performance -- which deserves a far better movie than this.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Veteran screenwriter John Pogue, in his second directorial outing, tries repeatedly and mostly unsuccessfully to jolt his audience by amping up the abundant sound effects to ear-shattering levels.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Most of the interviews are as brief as they are obvious, and it doesn't help that none of those interviewees, including clergymen who served as technical advisers, are identified.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Excruciatingly unfunny.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    There's no excuse for a thriller as lame, leaden and unthrilling as Godsend, which manages to take a potentially interesting subject - human cloning - and use it to put audiences to sleep.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Interminably long, dull and incomprehensible, John Carter evokes pretty much every sci-fi classic from the past 50 years without having any real personality of its own.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Tiresome cavalcade of bickering — which feels like it lasts even longer than your typical Thanksgiving dinner.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Aside from a relatively brief appearance by Joan Cusack's avatar as the kidnapped mother, there are no involving characters or situations.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A truly repulsive piece of trash that says far more about the absence of values from contemporary filmmaking than the waywardness of teens.
    • New York Post
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Like “Traffic’’ on a massive dose of downers, Ridley Scott’s The Counselor is a great-looking and star-filled but lethally pretentious, talky, lethargic drama.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Even an appearance by Alec Baldwin as Moretz's eventual - if highly unlikely - savior isn't enough to keep Hick from leaving a bad taste.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    I've had root canals that were more enjoyable than Margot at the Wedding, Noah Baumbach's hugely pretentious, ugly and annoying follow-up to "The Squid and the Whale."
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The schmaltzy Diana is directed at a dirge-like pace by German director Oliver Hirschbiegel, whose film “Downfall’’ depicted the final days of Hitler and provided one of the Internet’s most enduring memes.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The bottom line of Last Days seems to be, fame's a bitch. Yes, Gus - now start making movies again that tell stories, please.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The sad truth is these durable 80-year-old characters, who peaked with a 1950s TV series, never even come to life in this bloated, misshapen mess, a stillborn franchise loaded with metaphors for its feeble attempts to amuse, excite and entertain.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Have you ever seen a movie without a single believable moment? Perfect Stranger, a convoluted and altogether risible thriller with Halle Berry and Bruce Willis, manages this difficult feat.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Sometimes there's a fine line between a labor of love and a vanity project, and The Lost City, Andy Garcia's heartfelt - but hackneyed and interminable - love letter to his native Cuba, repeatedly crosses it.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Despite this seemingly surefire premise and cast of veteran comedians - there's even a cameo by Liza Minnelli as a masturbation coach - The OH in Ohio just lies there, without a single laugh.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The only hint of professionalism comes from Cheech Marin as Cannon's boss, who at times seems to be acting in a different movie.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Toothless, unbelievable and not particularly funny, New Suit is no threat to "The Player," "Swimming With Sharks" or "The Big Picture," to name but three more interesting pictures in this inside-baseball genre.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A very belated and very silly follow-up to "Death Wish."
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Charles Busch's spoof of beach-party movies and psychological thrillers, an off-Broadway hit 13 years ago, stubbornly refuses to entertain in this unrelentingly dull film version.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A good cast can't save The Lodger, the utterly wrongheaded fourth movie version of a 1910 novel inspired by Jack the Ripper.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Repo Men is a rare film where Toronto plays itself. It's also the first I've ever seen where a typewriter is used as a lethal weapon.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Rates an "E" for effort -- and a "B" for boring.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    An utterly clueless, relentlessly grim and rambling action epic guaranteed to displease devout Jews, Christians and Muslims alike, amuse atheists — and generally bore everyone.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The stars look bored out of their minds when the fourth episode of the franchise stalls between racing sequences.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A cheesy, often unintentionally funny, direct-to-video-caliber knockoff of "Aliens" that couldn't be more shallow.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The only prize this shamelessly derivative schlock is likely to be in the running for is the year's dullest thriller.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    This low-caliber Gun Shy has singularly ugly cinematography by Tom Richmond that at one point shows off Bullock's facial hair.
    • New York Post
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A witless homage to "Shampoo" and "American Gigolo" that's brain-dead on arrival.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Without any believable characters or situations, Reindeer Games is about as appealing as leftover Christmas fruitcake.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It's loaded with -- scenery-chewing melodrama, cornball pidgin dialogue and syrupy music.
    • New York Post
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A toothless, dated Seventh Avenue satire with shaky script, direction and acting - is the movie equivalent of something you'd find on the deep-markdown rack at Daffy's.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    This bomb, which premiered at last year's Sundance Film Festival, belongs in the same remainder bin as Spacey's "Pay It Forward," "K-Pax" and "The Life of David Gale."
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    You'd be better off renting "Eddie and the Cruisers" (1983) than slogging through this latest, far more dire recycling of the same rock clichés.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Ryan, the bodacious Seven of Nine on "Star Trek Voyager," is the only excuse to suffer through writer-director Harry Ralston's feeble comedy.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Annoying.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Except for Brolin as an unlikely born-again Jew, nobody fares well under Mulroney's ham-fisted direction.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Most of this movie is beyond lame. It almost makes "A Cinderella Story" -- the ever-mugging Duff's surprise hit of last summer -- look like a real movie by comparison.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    About as artistically profound as those framed 3-D photos of the Twin Towers emblazoned with "Never Forget'' that are still for sale in Times Square a decade after 9/11.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Watchable in a train-wreck kind of way, but you'll probably want to take a shower afterwards.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The "Prinze" of terrible movies is back - in what might charitably be called "Rear Window" for morons.
    • New York Post
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Cliched, amateurish and feeble.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Might as well be called "Around the World in 80 Yawns."
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Eric Schaeffer's rip-off -- er, homage -- to "Magnolia," is a marginally better movie than his previous self-absorbed atrocities like "My Life's in Turnaround" and "Wirey Spindell."
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Wavers between extreme silliness and unbearable earnestness.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Not especially scary or funny, this lame comedy-thriller wastes a decent cast in a plodding tale.
    • New York Post
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    If you stay awake, you'll certainly feel more than a little ground down after watching perhaps 15 minutes of skateboard footage padded out with nearly 90 minutes of strenuously unfunny toilet humor - all cheaply filmed on a budget that looks as if it would scarcely cover the catering bill for "Gigli."
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Excruciatingly lame and laughless romantic comedy.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Pointless and mind-numbing.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    One
    A rare dud in the Shooting Gallery series.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Gets sillier and sillier as it goes along.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Two decades after his last film, the legendary Jerry Lewis performs a truly unfortunate encore playing an elderly widower in writer-director Daniel Noah’s morose and thoroughly unconvincing drama.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Should have gone straight to video. It'll be there soon enough.
    • New York Post
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A slow-moving, ridiculous police thriller that would have been shipped straight to the remainder bin at Blockbuster if it starred anyone else.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The latest, and let's hope the last, in the raft of uninspired, quickie Bush-bashing documentaries churned out by producer Robert Greenwald
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Painfully sincere. But it wrings almost no laughs or tears from this seemingly idiot-proof premise.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A dispiriting rehash of dysfunctional family clichés that seems to last longer than Thanksgiving Day dinner.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Manages to be excruciatingly unfunny despite the presence of Pierce Brosnan and Emma Thompson in the lead roles.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A tediously unfunny comedy.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Looks great for a no-budget indie, but not a single moment rings true in this sluggish vanity project, which is sorely in need of Viagra.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A boring, wincingly cute and nauseatingly politically correct cartoon guaranteed to drive anyone much over age 4 screaming from the theater.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    When New York, I Love You was previewed in Toronto a year ago, there were two additional segments that have since been cut. So you'll have to wait for the DVD to see just how bad Scarlett Johansson's directing debut is.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Kirschner's excruciatingly earnest coming-of-age comedy, is about as fresh as year-old matzoh and plays like the unholy spawn of "Brighton Beach Memoirs" and "Fiddler on the Roof."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Significantly more gruesome and noisy than its predecessor, and boasting more nasty-looking fluids than all the works of David Fincher combined, this version leaves few corpses unturned in its unstinting campaign to please gorehounds.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The acting is serviceable at best, the direction unfocused - and the special effects and makeup cheesy-looking. This is surely the most dreary-looking film ever shot by the great Vittorio Storaro ("Apocalypse Now").
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Should you get Carter? Sure - but make it the Michael Caine classic Warner Bros. is releasing on video next week.
    • New York Post
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Fanning gives a sensitive and fairly impressive performance. But like her over-the-top movie family, Hounddog is still trailer trash of the worst kind.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Tedious and pretentious.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    I wouldn't have thought it was possible to make a prison picture as utterly boring as Jailbait.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Essentially a weird series of nonsequiturs. I'd rather be watching a sequel to the much-maligned "Little Nicky" -- a Sandler film that was at least trying to do something interesting -- than this failed experiment in fusing high and low culture.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It's hard to imagine hardened New Yorkers actually paying to see this totally uncritical, gee-whiz celebration of stock car racing, its fans and its history, breathlessly narrated by Kiefer Sutherland and perfunctorily directed by Simon Wincer.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Completed four years ago, Seeking Justice is dutifully directed, with an absolute minimum of thrills, by Roger Donaldson, whose credits include the terrific "No Way Out" (1987)...That film's title is a pretty good description of where Cage's career seems to be headed.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A surprisingly unengaging and charmless fantasy from a director whose previous films ("Across the Universe," "Titus," "Frida") were, despite their other issues, never boring.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Basically, this is Smith and his real-life son, Jaden (both affecting ridiculous mid-Atlantic accents) talking the audience to death for something like 90 minutes before the closing credits.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Michael Brandt's soporific thriller is making a token stop in theaters before its January DVD debut. Miss it if you can.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Strands a good cast in a sea of stereotypes and clichés.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A repugnant little indie black comedy, poorly acted in hideous-looking digital video, guaranteed to send audiences fleeing for the nearest shower.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Hollywood's Thanksgiving turkey arrives today - 27 days early - in the gobbling guise of the heavily hyped, brain-dead comedy, I Spy.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A protracted piece of schmaltz, P.S. I Love You looks like a hand-me-down from Sandra Bullock and Drew Barrymore.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Duplex, a shoddily constructed and alarmingly unfunny dark comedy that squanders the talents of Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore, is one real-estate deal you should walk away from.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A tediously self-absorbed variation on "The Big Chill" and "The Return of the Secaucus 7."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It's hard to say what's more offensive about the out-of- tune Radio - Cuba Gooding Jr. trying to ingratiate himself by mugging up a storm as a mentally challenged man, or the mawkish narrative surrounding him like so much syrup.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Grows tiresome rather quickly.
    • New York Post
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    We began this dismal movie season with one lethally bad World War II romance -- "Pearl Harbor" -- and now we're wrapping up with another howling dog.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It's basically the longest (a butt-numbing 21/2 hours), the most expensive (a reportedly obscene $150 million), most vulgar and by far the stupidest episode of "Miami Vice" ever.
    • 9 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Goes from being tediously terrible to downright gigglesome.
    • New York Post
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    There's still no good reason to suffer through a half-baked little movie that proves indies can be every bit as boringly formulaic and artistically bankrupt as their big-budget brethren.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Arguably as effective as Ambien at inducing sleep, but possible side effects include uncontrollable laughter.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Exceedingly lame.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    So feeble it fails even as train-wreck exploitation. I’d be unkind, but not entirely inaccurate, to label Coppola’s sophomoric, er, sophomore effort as a director an offer you can refuse.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A shrill farce that strains credibility even by the standards of black comedy.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    As far as I’m concerned, death couldn’t arrive quickly enough for these eight stereotypically self-absorbed Los Angelenos gathered for Sunday brunch at which the hosts (Blaise Miller, Erinn Hayes) plan to announce the demise of their marriage.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The latest catastrophe from the Weinstein Co.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    While there are some scattered laughs, the flimsy and nonsensical script - combined with the sledgehammer direction by Brian Robbins, make the similarly themed "Big Momma's House" look like Noel Coward.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Overlong, blandly soporific.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    An excellent case for euthanizing the entire talking-animals genre.

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