For 2,388 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 52% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 4.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lou Lumenick's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 56
Highest review score: 100 All About My Mother
Lowest review score: 0 The Last Song
Score distribution:
2,388 movie reviews
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    So feeble it fails even as train-wreck exploitation. I’d be unkind, but not entirely inaccurate, to label Coppola’s sophomoric, er, sophomore effort as a director an offer you can refuse.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Actually, Bruce, what stinks is the script — which is woefully lacking the kind of one-liners and memorable bad guys that helped make working-class hero McClane so iconic he’s still around after 25 years. Even the action sequences are pretty much by the numbers this time.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Save your money and wait for the new 3-D version of the 1939 classic that Warner Bros. has promised for later this year.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The joke is on arthouse audiences who show up for Funny Games, which is basically torture porn every bit as manipulative and reprehensible as "Hostel," even if it's tricked out with intellectual pretension.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A long, tedious and often unintentionally hilarious adaptation of Stephenie Meyer’s sci-fi follow-up.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Though it tries — with a much too heavy hand — the new Evil Dead is far less humorous than its predecessor.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    As far as I’m concerned, death couldn’t arrive quickly enough for these eight stereotypically self-absorbed Los Angelenos gathered for Sunday brunch at which the hosts (Blaise Miller, Erinn Hayes) plan to announce the demise of their marriage.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Basically, this is Smith and his real-life son, Jaden (both affecting ridiculous mid-Atlantic accents) talking the audience to death for something like 90 minutes before the closing credits.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The sad truth is these durable 80-year-old characters, who peaked with a 1950s TV series, never even come to life in this bloated, misshapen mess, a stillborn franchise loaded with metaphors for its feeble attempts to amuse, excite and entertain.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The pretentious and unrelievedly glum first feature from music-video and advertising director Nenad Cicin-Sain, The Time Being looks sharp, but it’s about as dramatically satisfying as watching paint dry.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Hollywood’s ongoing campaign to remake every horror movie of the 1970s and ’80s has finally caught up with the Stephen King-Brian De Palma classic “Carrie,’’ and the results are distressingly anemic, pig blood and all.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Like “Traffic’’ on a massive dose of downers, Ridley Scott’s The Counselor is a great-looking and star-filled but lethally pretentious, talky, lethargic drama.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The schmaltzy Diana is directed at a dirge-like pace by German director Oliver Hirschbiegel, whose film “Downfall’’ depicted the final days of Hitler and provided one of the Internet’s most enduring memes.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Tiresome cavalcade of bickering — which feels like it lasts even longer than your typical Thanksgiving dinner.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Endlessly lame.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Basically a much schmaltzier fantasy version of “Love Story.’’
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    All the tedium of an endless trans-Atlantic flight gets packed into the 105 minutes of Non-Stop.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It largely consists of Franco musing about depictions of homosexual activity on film. As well as gay cast members speculating whether Franco will take off his clothes and perform in explicit footage. He doesn’t.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It doesn’t add up to much of anything exciting, even with an appearance by Isabella Rossellini (of Lynch’s “Blue Velvet’’) as the mother of one of the doubles.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Tedious and pretentious.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Lethargic direction, bland visuals, credulity-straining plotting and tin-eared dialogue turn even pros like Rebecca Hall, Paul Bettany and Morgan Freeman into sleepwalking bores.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Veteran screenwriter John Pogue, in his second directorial outing, tries repeatedly and mostly unsuccessfully to jolt his audience by amping up the abundant sound effects to ear-shattering levels.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Manages to be excruciatingly unfunny despite the presence of Pierce Brosnan and Emma Thompson in the lead roles.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Child of God is, like the source novel, loosely inspired by the notorious real-life cannibal murderer Ed Gein. So was Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho.’’ Nobody left that classic bored — but they sure will be by Franco’s film.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    “Scratch the surface and there’s only more surface,’’ a character all too accurately observes in this clunky, ugly and dull mash-up of a mystery.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A lazy, noisy ADHD-addled collection of animated clichés guaranteed to give anyone older than 5 a headache, even if you don’t see it in optional 3-D.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    An utterly clueless, relentlessly grim and rambling action epic guaranteed to displease devout Jews, Christians and Muslims alike, amuse atheists — and generally bore everyone.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A jaw-droppingly terrible animated musical that mismatches George Lucas’ inane story about a pair of fairy princesses to an oddball selection of the “Star Wars’’ creator’s favorite pop tunes.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Unintended laughs far, far outnumber intended thrills.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Hard-core Hollywood haters will best appreciate Maps to the Stars, a campy poison-pen letter to Tinseltown that makes “Sunset Boulevard’’ look like a tourism infomercial by comparison.

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