For 2,330 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 52% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 4 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lou Lumenick's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 56
Highest review score: 100 The King's Speech
Lowest review score: 0 National Lampoon's Gold Diggers
Score distribution:
2,330 movie reviews
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Rock appears to have edited I Think I Love My Wife with a roulette wheel.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Have you ever seen a movie without a single believable moment? Perfect Stranger, a convoluted and altogether risible thriller with Halle Berry and Bruce Willis, manages this difficult feat.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Despite solid contributions by vets such as Michael Lerner and Daniel Stern, Caleo isn't able to sell The Last Time - not the affair and especially not the ludicrous twist ending.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    As much as we like Alec as an actor, it's hard to imagine that any amount of editing and reshooting under his supervision could salvage his complete ineptitude as a director.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Spanish Inquisition was better summed up in an eight-minute musical number by Mel Brooks than in the entirety of Goya's Ghosts, an across-the-board disaster from one of my favorite directors, Milos Forman.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Well, it smells, all right, but authentic isn't the word I'd use for this maudlin male weepie, a compendium of the worst clichés of sports and journalism movies.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    In the fourth and by far the worst screen version of "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers," Nicole Kidman's character struggles to stay awake - as will the audience.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Mostly unfunny, extremely silly pingpong comedy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A very belated and very silly follow-up to "Death Wish."
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Featuring eyeball-rolling performances by Vivica A. Fox, Patti LaBelle, Clifton Davis and the singularly named Leon, Cover would be a candidate for the year's most unintentionally funny movie so far - if it weren't also the most homophobic.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    You can see better stuff on TV any night of the week.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    I've had root canals that were more enjoyable than Margot at the Wedding, Noah Baumbach's hugely pretentious, ugly and annoying follow-up to "The Squid and the Whale."
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A protracted piece of schmaltz, P.S. I Love You looks like a hand-me-down from Sandra Bullock and Drew Barrymore.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Excruciatingly lame and laughless romantic comedy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A totally ridiculous and incoherent sci-fi adventure.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    I was kind of rough on "Apocalypto," which in retrospect seems like a minor classic compared to 10,000 BC.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Draggy and incoherent.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    An overwrought and patently offensive anti- abortion drama from the director of the accomplished "House of Sand and Fog."
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    One of my critical brethren opined that this sort of dumbing-down and low comedy may be the only way to sell the public a movie about the Iraq war. If that's true, God help us.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Quickly devolves into a nonprescription alternative to Ambien.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Someone describes his writing as "snarky, bitter, witless." The last part pretty well sums up this movie.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A total disaster.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A slow-moving, ridiculous police thriller that would have been shipped straight to the remainder bin at Blockbuster if it starred anyone else.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Fanning gives a sensitive and fairly impressive performance. But like her over-the-top movie family, Hounddog is still trailer trash of the worst kind.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A good cast can't save The Lodger, the utterly wrongheaded fourth movie version of a 1910 novel inspired by Jack the Ripper.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Exceedingly lame.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Caller qualifies as something of a Holocaust movie, with flashbacks to World War II France. Guess who the two boys we see grow up to be?
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The stars look bored out of their minds when the fourth episode of the franchise stalls between racing sequences.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Dreamworks Animation's clunky and wildly unimaginative Monsters vs. Aliens really doesn't have a clue what to do with the [3-D] technique.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    An exceedingly silly historical fantasy.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Seems to go on for several days and nights, though in fact it lasts just 105 minutes. I checked my watch. A lot.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Just to give you a taste of the movie's sophisticated idea of wit, it also makes fun of gay men.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The cowardly producers have banished the grit and darkness of Parker’s original.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    After a slightly promising start, this great-looking but ultimately deeply confusing and unscary sci-fi/horror opus turns into a quite boring rehash of M. Night Shyamalan's post-"Signs" films.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A witless homage to "Shampoo" and "American Gigolo" that's brain-dead on arrival.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Barely watchable, despite the presence of such pros as Michael McKean and Jane Lynch.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    When New York, I Love You was previewed in Toronto a year ago, there were two additional segments that have since been cut. So you'll have to wait for the DVD to see just how bad Scarlett Johansson's directing debut is.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Neither a concert film nor a documentary but a ghoulish “event” offered just in time for Halloween, This is It is sadly -- and reprehensively, if you ask me -- the movie equivalent to the National Enquirer’s infamous post-mortem shot of Elvis Presley.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A shrill farce that strains credibility even by the standards of black comedy.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Produced with the best of intentions by a California church and directed without distinction by first-timer Brian Baugh, To Save a Life would be bland and boring even as a half-hour after-school special.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Charmless and underdeveloped knockoff of "The Santa Clause."
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Cisneros is an appealing actor, but he and Falling Awake get buried under a welter of clichés.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Dear John is the sort of movie that gives tearjerkers a bad name.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A cringeworthy, unfunny example of a culture-clash romantic comedy.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Repo Men is a rare film where Toronto plays itself. It's also the first I've ever seen where a typewriter is used as a lethal weapon.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Quite a slog, with most of the acting strictly amateurish save the veteran Ed Lauter as a fish and game inspector.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Never rises much above yawn-worthy.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Excruciatingly unfunny.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    This is a terminally whimsical vanity project that would probably have been a chore to sit through even in its original intended format, a 20-minute stage monologue.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Apprently novice filmmaker Angela Ismailos' definition of a Great Director is one who's willing to sit or walk with her while she lobs innocuous questions and gives herself lots of awed close-up reaction shots.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A maudlin and unintentionally hilarious romantic weepie.
    • New York Post
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The stars' utter failure to create sparks is only one of the problems with this Labor Day weekend dump job.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Milks the very real problem of "organ tourism" for all the melodrama and car chases it's worth.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A sloppy vanity project, this rambling and toothless Hollywood black comedy stars veteran filmmaker Henry Jaglom's girlfriend, Tanna Frederick.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A surprisingly unengaging and charmless fantasy from a director whose previous films ("Across the Universe," "Titus," "Frida") were, despite their other issues, never boring.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The only thing remotely scary about Monsters is that Magnolia is releasing this boring scare-, suspense- and gore-free horror movie (which reportedly cost less than $100,000) on Halloween weekend.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Despite much effort, neither Johnson nor director George Tillman Jr. ("Notorious") can make this preposterous tale, live up to its title.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The sort of misfire that Hollywood has long buried in January.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A labored romantic farce whose only asset is Carlos Leon, best known as the father of Madonna's daughter Lourdes.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A tediously unfunny comedy.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Aside from a relatively brief appearance by Joan Cusack's avatar as the kidnapped mother, there are no involving characters or situations.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Strands a good cast in a sea of stereotypes and clichés.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    If I weren't already being paid to watch this movie, I'd feel entitled to compensation for having to sit through this many product plugs.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Except for Brolin as an unlikely born-again Jew, nobody fares well under Mulroney's ham-fisted direction.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    There's still no good reason to suffer through a half-baked little movie that proves indies can be every bit as boringly formulaic and artistically bankrupt as their big-budget brethren.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A dull, by-the-numbers psych-ward horror thriller that's sadly a lot closer in quality to "Sucker Punch" than "Shutter Island."
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    You'd be better off renting "Eddie and the Cruisers" (1983) than slogging through this latest, far more dire recycling of the same rock clichés.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The latter is played by Parker Posey, who looks baffled throughout. As well she should.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A dispiriting rehash of dysfunctional family clichés that seems to last longer than Thanksgiving Day dinner.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Michael Brandt's soporific thriller is making a token stop in theaters before its January DVD debut. Miss it if you can.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Ineptly written and directed, the nihilistic The Son of No One flaunts an attitude best summed up by a cynical Pacino -- "A man has to live with s--t.'' Maybe so, Al, but audiences have the option of skipping this bomb.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    About as artistically profound as those framed 3-D photos of the Twin Towers emblazoned with "Never Forget'' that are still for sale in Times Square a decade after 9/11.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It's sad to see Quaid in sloppily directed (by Martin Guigui) dreck like Beneath the Darkness less than a decade after the performance of his career as a closeted married man in "Far From Heaven.''
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Would the Mayans have predicted the end of the world in 2012 if they'd known it would inspire not only "The Tree of Life'' and "Melancholia'' but an endless supply of more dreary depictions of end-times like this one?
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Interminably long, dull and incomprehensible, John Carter evokes pretty much every sci-fi classic from the past 50 years without having any real personality of its own.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Completed four years ago, Seeking Justice is dutifully directed, with an absolute minimum of thrills, by Roger Donaldson, whose credits include the terrific "No Way Out" (1987)...That film's title is a pretty good description of where Cage's career seems to be headed.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Even an appearance by Alec Baldwin as Moretz's eventual - if highly unlikely - savior isn't enough to keep Hick from leaving a bad taste.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    This is an exhausting, eyeball-gougingly ugly 90-minute assault of non-stop action, with an all-star voice cast shouting witless lines and a wide variety of objects lobbed at the audience in the crudest 3-D fashion.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Gets sillier and sillier as it goes along.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    I'd call Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days harmless if it weren't for some totally unnecessary gay-panic jokes that could actually encourage bullying.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Wavers between extreme silliness and unbearable earnestness.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The acting, script and direction - not to mention the syrupy score - conspire to make this a perfect storm of a hoot that will find its most appreciative audience among renters who have had a few glasses of wine beforehand.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Oscar-winning director of "Rain Man" - whose last film, the abysmal documentary "PoliWood" never went much further than the Tribeca Film Festival - demonstrates he can make a shakycam found-footage horror movie every bit as fake-looking, clumsy and unscary as your average college student working on a $200 budget.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    So feeble it fails even as train-wreck exploitation. I’d be unkind, but not entirely inaccurate, to label Coppola’s sophomoric, er, sophomore effort as a director an offer you can refuse.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Actually, Bruce, what stinks is the script — which is woefully lacking the kind of one-liners and memorable bad guys that helped make working-class hero McClane so iconic he’s still around after 25 years. Even the action sequences are pretty much by the numbers this time.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Save your money and wait for the new 3-D version of the 1939 classic that Warner Bros. has promised for later this year.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The joke is on arthouse audiences who show up for Funny Games, which is basically torture porn every bit as manipulative and reprehensible as "Hostel," even if it's tricked out with intellectual pretension.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    A long, tedious and often unintentionally hilarious adaptation of Stephenie Meyer’s sci-fi follow-up.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Though it tries — with a much too heavy hand — the new Evil Dead is far less humorous than its predecessor.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    As far as I’m concerned, death couldn’t arrive quickly enough for these eight stereotypically self-absorbed Los Angelenos gathered for Sunday brunch at which the hosts (Blaise Miller, Erinn Hayes) plan to announce the demise of their marriage.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Basically, this is Smith and his real-life son, Jaden (both affecting ridiculous mid-Atlantic accents) talking the audience to death for something like 90 minutes before the closing credits.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The sad truth is these durable 80-year-old characters, who peaked with a 1950s TV series, never even come to life in this bloated, misshapen mess, a stillborn franchise loaded with metaphors for its feeble attempts to amuse, excite and entertain.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The pretentious and unrelievedly glum first feature from music-video and advertising director Nenad Cicin-Sain, The Time Being looks sharp, but it’s about as dramatically satisfying as watching paint dry.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Hollywood’s ongoing campaign to remake every horror movie of the 1970s and ’80s has finally caught up with the Stephen King-Brian De Palma classic “Carrie,’’ and the results are distressingly anemic, pig blood and all.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Like “Traffic’’ on a massive dose of downers, Ridley Scott’s The Counselor is a great-looking and star-filled but lethally pretentious, talky, lethargic drama.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The schmaltzy Diana is directed at a dirge-like pace by German director Oliver Hirschbiegel, whose film “Downfall’’ depicted the final days of Hitler and provided one of the Internet’s most enduring memes.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Tiresome cavalcade of bickering — which feels like it lasts even longer than your typical Thanksgiving dinner.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Endlessly lame.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Basically a much schmaltzier fantasy version of “Love Story.’’
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    All the tedium of an endless trans-Atlantic flight gets packed into the 105 minutes of Non-Stop.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It largely consists of Franco musing about depictions of homosexual activity on film. As well as gay cast members speculating whether Franco will take off his clothes and perform in explicit footage. He doesn’t.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    It doesn’t add up to much of anything exciting, even with an appearance by Isabella Rossellini (of Lynch’s “Blue Velvet’’) as the mother of one of the doubles.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Tedious and pretentious.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Lethargic direction, bland visuals, credulity-straining plotting and tin-eared dialogue turn even pros like Rebecca Hall, Paul Bettany and Morgan Freeman into sleepwalking bores.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Veteran screenwriter John Pogue, in his second directorial outing, tries repeatedly and mostly unsuccessfully to jolt his audience by amping up the abundant sound effects to ear-shattering levels.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Manages to be excruciatingly unfunny despite the presence of Pierce Brosnan and Emma Thompson in the lead roles.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Child of God is, like the source novel, loosely inspired by the notorious real-life cannibal murderer Ed Gein. So was Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho.’’ Nobody left that classic bored — but they sure will be by Franco’s film.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    A movie so pathetically lame that hopefully even Spears most ardent young fans will give this stinker a big thumbs down.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Epic waste of celluloid.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Don't even think of visiting this French fiasco.
    • New York Post
    • 33 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    A creepy, depressing and leering "comedy" that's a virtual collection of "What were they thinking?" moments.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    One bad movie -- in the original sense of the word.
    • New York Post
    • 18 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    A skin-crawlingly unfunny riff on Woody Allen's "Bananas."
    • New York Post
    • 46 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    This would be a stultifyingly incestuous affair even if all the jokes about fertilization weren't so tiresomely lame and predictable.
    • New York Post
    • 63 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    This time out, Broomfield comes up with maybe enough halfway decent material for a 10-minute segment on a second-rate tabloid TV show.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Stinko movies often unwittingly critique themselves -- and the brain-dead romantic comedy Down to You (which Miramax understandably didn't screen in advance for critics) is no exception.
    • New York Post
    • 9 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    A low-end scam by Lions Gate Films -- whose recent "The Wash" was a masterpiece by comparison.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    An unholy mess.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Beyond-lame satire.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Sandler's latest ode to projectile vomiting, passing gas, gay jokes and physical insults to the groin is basically a feeble cross between "The Revenge of the Nerds" and "The Bad News Bears."
    • 30 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    An impressive supporting cast can't save this painfully unfunny, ham-fisted mockumentary poking fun at reality TV shows.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    There isn't a remotely believable moment in the script here, and Kramer's leaden direction only helps strand a capable cast headed by Heather Graham in an hour and a half of virtual laugh-free tedium.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    The movie has two modes - very loud and extremely loud - and all of the actors are encouraged to mug their hearts out. That even includes Cusack's real-life sister Joan, normally one of the most reliable performers in the business.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Even if it weren't three years too late to parody Moore (ineptly played by Kevin Farley), Moore's ridiculous tribute to Cuban health care in "Sicko" is far funnier than anything in this desperately laughless farce from David Zucker ("Scary Movie 3").
    • 32 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Will Ferrell's terminally stupid, sloppy, campy and cheesy -- and thoroughly unexciting and unfunny -- experiment in "family entertainment."
    • 18 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Misconceived, bloated and incredibly ugly fantasy epic.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    More than lives up to its name with ultra-campy performances, high-glucose direction, laughable dialogue, cheesy effects and a back-lot simulation of a Manhattan street that wouldn't pass muster on an after-school special.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Zookeeper barely avoids a zero-star rating because of James.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    The title It's About You is something Kurt Markus claims Mellencamp told him when he commissioned the film. With the elder Markus' self-important, egotistical narration rarely shutting up, it was a fairly prophetic remark.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    His late father directed "Rambo: First Blood,'' but Panos Cosmatos' debut feature couldn't be more different - this would-be cult classic is the movie equivalent of gazing at a lava lamp for nearly two hours.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    De Niro mostly looks miserable and very tired (a document glimpsed on-screen hilariously claims his character was born in 1970) and prattles on endlessly about forgetting the past.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Vanity, thy name is Kevin Spacey.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    The only truly lethal weapons in the criminally unfunny action comedy Let’s Be Cops are the lame script, putrid direction and pair of sitcom stars mugging nonstop in frantic pursuit of laughs that have fled over the state line.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    So unremittingly awful that labeling it a dog probably constitutes cruelty to canines.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A glossy, shallow thriller where not a single scene rings true.
    • New York Post
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Lame spoof.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Skin-crawlingly awful.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    An incomprehensible Bob Dylan vanity project that is not only nearly impossible to sit through, but embarrasses a long list of stars who lined up to work for scale opposite the legendary musician.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    The lamest in the recent run of comedies about uptight white people getting jiggy with it, would also be the most offensive -- if it weren't also the dullest.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    This is the sort of low-grade dreck that usually goes straight to video -- with a lousy script, inept direction, pathetic acting, poorly dubbed dialogue and murky cinematography, complete with visible boom mikes.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    So eyeball-gougingly awful that you're tempted to give up movies for Lent.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Low-end schlock that will likely land with a dull thud in the video remainder bin before the frost is on the pumpkin.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Tacky-looking, incoherent, badly acted and hopelessly directed disaster is easily the dullest adventure film of 2000.
    • New York Post
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    It's so devoid of joy and energy it makes even "Jason X" - a recent attempt to prolong the rival "Friday the 13th" slasher franchise - look positively Shakesperean by comparison.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Crudely animated, badly dubbed, incomprehensible, boring -- and headache-inducing -- attempt to wring a few more yen and dollars out of a thoroughly spent franchise.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Under Jordan Susman's inept direction, these twentysomething airheads, angry about the proliferation of Starbucks outlets and other societal ills, all resemble nubile models.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    To call Jackass: The Movie the worst movie of the year is practically a compliment. This plotless, crudely videotaped collection of moronic stunts is a movie in the same sense that those hideous, velvet depictions of Elvis are paintings.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Truthfully, it's all incredibly boring. Noé tosses in some dime-store existentialism ("Time destroys everything"), but this is a movie with not a whole lot on its mind except rank exploitation.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Calling Boys and Girls the year's worst movie makes it sound more entertaining than it actually is.
    • New York Post
    • 13 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    So awful it qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment.
    • New York Post
    • 15 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Based on a video game, far exceeds expectations -- in negative ways that inspire thoughts of less than zero stars.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A sexed-up Afterschool Special pretty much guaranteed to render audiences comatose.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    So utterly devoid of suspense, energy or credibility it should have been shipped straight to the remainder bin at Blockbuster.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Should have been stopped at customs -- as family entertainment, it constitutes child abuse.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Lethargically paced, badly edited and shot in hideous digital video.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Little more than 91 minutes of cheesy special effects in search of a remotely coherent story.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Garfield is a downright cat-astrophe.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Nearly two hours of New Age hooey.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    If ever a movie could be charged with imperiling the morals of a minor, it's probably Sleepover, a sleazy, PG-rated sex comedy that's apparently aimed at 8- to 10-year-old girls.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Stars Carmine Famiglietti, Joseph Summa and Gino Cafarelli apparently also wrote Chooch and directed it under a trio of aliases. They shoulda applied to the witness-protection program instead.
    • 6 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Certainly the most painfully unfunny of the countless bad movies that have licensed the name of the long-defunct humor magazine.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A crass, shrill and laughless disaster of a holiday comedy with a desperately mugging Ben Affleck that should be banned under the Geneva Convention.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Excruciatingly maudlin.
    • 6 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    It's a totally inept and unfunny parody of the TV show "Cops."
    • New York Post
    • 15 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    The latest vanity production by writer-director-star Eric Schaeffer, who still seems to think he's another Woody Allen -- despite a growing body of work that proves otherwise.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A witless, stale and half-hearted rehash of cliches borrowed from the likes of "The Wedding Planner," "The Wedding Singer" and "Four Weddings and a Funeral," this pathetic, alleged comedy certainly wasn't improved by clueless direction by Clare Kilner.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A witless and vulgar sequel.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Shoddily made, boring and, most shockingly, without a single decent scare.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    None of this is remotely funny.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A relentlessly dull film that's shot on eyeball-gougingly ugly digital video.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    "I am surrounded by oceans of boredom," the campy Abraham complains at one point. It's a sentiment audiences are bound to share.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    HUGELY tedious and mostly incomprehensible.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A vile and laughless follow-up to Schneider's 1999 hit.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    This painfully unfunny mockumentary about obsessive collectors of frozen-food entrees takes potshots at anti-abortionists, Christian rockers, aversion therapy for gays and the disabled -- and misses almost every time.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Aeon Flux is by far the year's worst movie, a most dubious achievement.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    The material has been dumbed down for contemporary tastes and Carrey's frantic comic style.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    An excruciating indie knockoff of "Training Day."
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A cut-rate ripoff of "Aeon Flux" with Milla Jovovich as a butt-kicking futuristic heroine in a midriff-baring bodysuit, is ultrastupid, ultra-incoherent, ultrasilly - and way, way ultraboring.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Virtually unwatchable and laugh-free.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    An appallingly unfunny and unromantic romantic comedy.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Laughless, pointless and downright creepy, Say Uncle is a would-be black comedy.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A couple of years ago, a disaster like Shadow boxer - with the hapless Cuba Gooding Jr. scraping below the bottom of the barrel - would have gone straight to video or been buried on an obscure cable channel at 3 a.m.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    There is plenty of blame to go around for this laughless mess.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Vanity productions don't come much worse than One Third, an amateurish, dialogue-free curiosity courtesy of Yongman Kim, the founder of the Greenwich Village institution Kim's Video.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    The ineptly made Animal Cannibal isn't remotely convincing as reality, and worse, isn't remotely entertaining as fiction.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A pathetically unfunny comedy that should have been shipped straight to video, if not recycled as guitar picks.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Sony dumped this sleazy, inept and worthless piece of torture porn into theaters yesterday.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    No, Bratz, an unwitting and witless critique of American consumerism run amok, does not star Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Excruciatingly acted and ineptly directed by Bob Odenkirk, The Brothers Solomon is faux Farrelly brothers that should have gone straight to video.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    If a more incoherent and self-indulgent movie has been released so far this century, I'm not aware of it.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    This partially animated, charm-free atrocity is awful enough to instantly cure any remaining nostalgia for the rodent trio.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Easily the worst movie I've seen so far this year.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Brain-dead political satire/tear-jerker.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Thoroughly inept in just about every aspect.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Excruciatingly unfunny.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    This is the sort of comedy that requires you not only to suspend disbelief, but your sanity as well.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Tedious and tawdry.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Stick a fork in Nia Vardalos. I've been to funerals that were a lot more fun than I Hate Valentine's Day, her second alleged romantic comedy in less than a month.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A schmaltzy, smutty and mean-spirited quasi-satire.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    There's something seriously wrong when you assemble actors this good -- and can't believe a single stilted word coming out of their mouths.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    There is only one joke here, milked endlessly.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Hearing snoring from behind me at a screening the other day, I looked around and noticed four people had dozed off during the prettily photographed, boring vanity project that is Oh My God?
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Brain-dead film.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Even by the extremely low standards of the genre, When in Rome gets failing marks for chemistry, credibility and even coherence.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Less funny or romantic than your average colonoscopy, this cringe-inducing bore provides dubious employment for four Oscar winners, two nominees and a raft of TV performers.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    It's the worst of both worlds as Disney cash cow Miley Cyrus makes the most dubious "dramatic" debut of any singer since Britney Spears.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A mind-numbing piece of would-be provocation from the button-pushing Harmony Korine, Trash Humpers gets no stars from me -- not because it's offensive and disgusting like his earlier "Gummo" and "Julien Donkey-Boy," but because it's about as enervating a way to waste 78 minutes as I've ever experienced.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    If M. Night Shyamalan sold his soul to the devil for the success of "The Sixth Sense," I think His Satanic Majesty has finally collected in full with The Last Airbender.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    You Again could be taught at film schools as an example of how not to make a movie. And how not to humiliate veteran actors.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    So bad it's almost (but not quite) good, Dan Ireland's Jolene is an unusually elaborate and excruciatingly long vanity production based on a short story by E.L. Doctorow ("Ragtime").
    • 39 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Overblown, interminable and unfunny.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A soul-deadening mash-up of "Kill Bill," "Showgirls" and dozens of other better flicks that's not the least bit exciting or sexy, Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch is what happens when a studio gives carte blanche to a filmmaker who has absolutely nothing original or even coherent to say.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Director Michael Bay, Hollywood's answer to the Antichrist, isn't primarily interested in your soul, though his movie does a pretty effective job of sucking that away (and sucking, in general).
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Ineptly directed by Raja Gosnell -- the genius behind the "Scooby-Doo" features, "Big Momma's House," and "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" -- this cheesy-looking flick has lousy animation, worse special effects and the most headache-inducing, blurry 3-D since "Clash of the Titans."
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Extremely cool-looking in the manner of "Sin City,'' but clumsily staged, slackly acted and mind-numbingly dull, Israeli director Guy Moshe's English-language fantasy is set in a future when guns, and apparently coherent conversations, have been outlawed.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Putting it as kindly as possible, this pitiful romantic comedy directed by Scott Marshall (dad Garry did "Pretty Woman'') peaks with its animated opening credits.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    It's pretty sad if you're a comic and Al Pacino is the funniest thing in your movie.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    A root canal seems a more pleasurable way to pass two hours than this interminable vanity knockoff of "Traffic" about troubled Angelenos.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    It really couldn't have been easy for Jason Lee ("Almost Famous") to keep a straight face while saying, "I'm not in this for the money.''
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Nearly totally laugh-, chemistry- and coherence-free, this fiasco from the director of "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle'' has a script whose sensible parts would fit on a napkin with enough room left over for the Gettysburg Address.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    With the abysmal A Little Bit of Heaven, Kate Hudson's possibly unprecedented losing streak remains unbroken: She hasn't made a good movie since Almost Famous, 12 long years ago. Even Nicolas Cage can't say that.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    An exceedingly dull and stillborn attempt to update the Brothers Grimm.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    If you mashed-up the worst parts of the infamous "Howard the Duck,'' "Gigli,'' "Ishtar'' and every other awful movie I've seen since I started reviewing professionally in 1981, it wouldn't begin to approach the sheer soul-sucking badness of the cringe-inducing Movie 43.
    • 1 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    An inept, brutally unfunny collection of sketches.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    “I’d rather gouge my eyes out with hot spoons!’’ De Niro exclaims at one point. I’m not sure exactly what he was talking about, but I’d like to think it referred to the prospect of being forced to watch The Big Wedding.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Paul Schrader’s The Canyons is not the worst movie of 2013 — it's marginally better than "InAPPpropriate Comedy" and "Scary Movie 5," two even worse bombs that Lindsay Lohan also lent her rapidly diminishing talents to — but it is surely the most boring I’ve seen.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    James Franco, all is forgiven. His woebegotten “Oz: The Great and Powerful’’ is practically a masterpiece compared to this eyeball-gougingly ugly, charm-free animated musical sequel.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    And So It Goes appears to be targeting an audience segment that rarely goes out to the movies — while providing them a cringe-worthy incentive to never do so again.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Time to pull the plug on this brain-dead franchise.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Even with appearances by such dependable performers as Toni Collette, Stellan Skarsgård, Christopher Plummer and Jean Reno, the interminable Hector and the Search for Happiness will most likely inspire audiences to search for the exit door.