Michael Atkinson
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For 851 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 29% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 68% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 6.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Michael Atkinson's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 53
Highest review score: 100 Warm Water Under a Red Bridge
Lowest review score: 0 Pokémon: The First Movie - Mewtwo Strikes Back!
Score distribution:
851 movie reviews
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Strangers With Candy regularly lampoons junkie-reparation melodramas and after-school specials, but with so little focus it's never clear what the film, or even Sedaris's vaudeville buffoon incarnation, is supposed to be parodying. That may be its fascination for some--it's a satire without a baseline, free-floating in its own self-indulgent ether.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Leopold's movie is superbly shot and restrained, but not economical; the brooding and introversions profitlessly pad out what might've been a leveling featurette.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    It might be the most maturely conceived role in Burns's films, but the plot around it is flimsy, the visual storytelling simpleminded, and the general ideas for character one-note. At 78 minutes, the movie says howdy, rewards little, and does not test its welcome.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Beauvois, who co-wrote, seems hellbent on making the most realistic cop film of all time, shruggingly consumed with downtime, small talk, minor incident, and dead ends, and he's succeeded--the narrative wouldn't have cut it in a Kojak story meeting.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Obvious, simplistic, and never funny, Johnson's movie may be useful only as real estate porn--Cornwall and the Isle of Man never looked so super cute.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Penn goes for larger-than-life, wrapping his pinched frown around an unintelligible Louisiana drawl and swinging his arms like an autistic evangelist... Law is no asset--looking rather sadly like John Ireland (the actor who played the 1949 Jack Burden), he has little control over his accent and zero energy.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    The film is more stale than crisp, with dialogue that is at least 50 percent old aphorisms, homilies, and clichés.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Arguably the most dysfunctional culture of the past few centuries, North Korea is a cosmically mad movie waiting to happen. But for now, Heikin's is merely insubstantial.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    It's not the freshest scenario, and Baker lets Lucky sputter and moan about his fate for so long that we wonder, as his sensible girlfriend does, why we're bothering with such undiluted dickness.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    The vibe rarely expands beyond dozy Comedy Central skits sprinkled with ironic cliches rather than jokes, 99 percent earnest slo-mo quirk and 1 percent funky non sequitur (the characters sport brand names, like Plymouth Ray-Ban), most of it explained rather than performed.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Never good with nuance, Kim is a beast with disarming imagery but has few resonating ideas, leaving the domino-tumble of brutality to become its own tiresome spectacle.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Mostly pathetic but on occasion grimly funny.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    First-timer Nick Tomnay has expanded his movie from a short, and the point where he ran out of ideas looms like a cliff edge.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Honestly, Courtney and his crew all seem like nice people, but if there's an unironic audience for this kind of romantic jock-cup fondling, I'm not interested in knowing it.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    The dialogue is as stock as the characters, and James's visual palette never surpasses the adequate.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Treading on a shameful piece of French history, Bosch bizarrely intercuts scenes of Hitler, Himmler, and Hess working out the logistics of the exportations, in vignettes that smack of "Inglourious Basterds" farce, but otherwise, she's got a steady grip on the tear-jerking, if that's your awards-season cocktail.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    You're stuck daydreaming about a far, far better movie.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Little more than a résumé film for all involved, it certainly feels more Park City than Bushwick.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Following is modest and engaging, but in being strenuously clever, it surrenders any dibs it might have on being relevant, or original.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Years of HBO seasoning has given Garlin and his cast a sure touch and great timing...but the whole project is mean-hearted and lazy, and it dawdles in repetition and dead air as if it's got a 14-show TV season to spin out.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Kill Your Darlings is an undernourished and over-emphatic film.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Not exactly a hagiography, Polish's film isn't a tragedy, either -- it's just an uneventful afternoon spent with a dozing rummy.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    The Rod Serling tension Byrkit is angling for never quite arrives, nor does any real Borgesian frisson. But thanks to its social setting, it does offer a vivid and perhaps intentional satirical portrait of L.A. culture.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Gay jungle sex (gasp!), gone-native intellectuals, tribal rituals (gulp!), cannibalism (none of which the film shows, by the way) -- it sounds like a "Weekly World News" front page, not the thematic fodder of a highbrow non-fiction film.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Indulges in enough grubby histrionics and costume-adventure cliches to give you fifth-grade flashbacks.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Opting for this refried mash over Lee's rentable beauty is like choosing canned beans over an Asian feast.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Apart from the historical eminence of the poetry itself, Pandaemonium is about nothing much at all.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 73 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Far from creating a pungent portrait of a society gone mad with blood and greed, Schroeder's movie strives for political points while it's whiffing on simplicities like character, motivation, and believability.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Messy, frantic, and repetitive, Everybody Famous! takes on both vapid pop culture and the mindless hoi polloi that consumes it.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 69 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Demonstrates that even if you live in a country intimately familiar with fascist occupation, you might still not have the least clue how to communicate that experience on film.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Throughout, Tykwer reaches for mysteries he has no idea how to evoke, relying instead on his actors' empty stares.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Exhausting and fruitless: Having seen it, you know nothing more about strippers or the stripper mentality than you did going in. What's the point?
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 76 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Wacky, vividly conceived but mundanely executed cartoon fantasy.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Watching this movie go through its simplistic dramatic motions, you begin to understand why some actors stick to summer stock and live Ibsen revivals.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Atkinson
    Documentarian Anailín Lucy Mulloy’s eye for the decaying textures of modern Cuba on the ground is sharp, and there are passages—as the dull characters mope and kill time and work up snits—in which you wish the movie were simply nonfiction. As it is, everything feels fake except the Centro Habana barrios themselves.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 39 Michael Atkinson
    An orgy of bad decisions and cheap ideas.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Michael Atkinson
    The characters aren't convincingly written, rarely if ever behave like believable humans, and consequently don't matter to us in the least.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 36 Michael Atkinson
    Pushes the standard tropes of gay romance movies a few more steps toward full-blown cliché-dom.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 34 Michael Atkinson
    To say that it's dull barely scratches the surface.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 56 Metascore
    • 33 Michael Atkinson
    A ponderous stage adaptation that expends only the mildest effort to overcome its staginess.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 34 Metascore
    • 32 Michael Atkinson
    A tepid, pretentious indie that flies from the memory like a tissue in a twister.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 32 Michael Atkinson
    Joffe's latest is a formless, inanimate lump.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 31 Michael Atkinson
    An earnest but fatally amateurish and stereotypical melodrama about fraternity hazing.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 31 Michael Atkinson
    One of our very few consummate movie star actors, Washington can't quite elevate this dismal material as he's been able to do in the past, but he retains his dignity.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 24 Metascore
    • 31 Michael Atkinson
    Oak-stiff and witless, but a few scenes muster up embarrassed chuckles.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 31 Michael Atkinson
    It's a chilling piece of legal hysteria, and ripe for nasty farce. But Pooh plays it all for buffoonish pratfalls and fart jokes.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 31 Michael Atkinson
    The movie is so slovenly in its animation and graceless in its writing that few viewers over the age of 9 are likely to notice.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 31 Michael Atkinson
    Flows like day-old cement.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Brown's saga, like many before his, makes for snappy prose but a stumblebum of a movie.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    It's a campy, juiced-up ker-splat, busy with clumsy pyrotechnics and never nearing the vicinity of satire.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    At its most indulgent and posturing, Piñero plays like a movie the man himself might've made, between scores.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Cannot help but be merely another debacle that Tammy Faye will survive, eyelashes and integrity intact.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Not only is the dialogue endless...it's like driving behind a 15 mph geezer on a one-way street.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Soft-boiled blarney so sluttish with Hollywood clichés it could've been made in Burbank.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Smartly written, unevenly executed.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The story is little more than overdetermined trials and triumphs. Kids won't care, but they won't fall for it either; unsurprisingly, it doesn't stand a chance of providing them with the memories the book provided their parents.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    A decked-out mediocrity with a high-octane cast.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Fawzi shoots the proceedings in clumsy, gotch-eyed spurts, and the level of incoherence is impressively high.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Agazzi's movie rather provincially hints at sexiness, humor, and satire without actually manifesting them.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    85 percent explosions and editing idiocy (a window can't break without director Peter Hyams cutting between five different angles) and 15 percent Arnold trying to grow a third dimension. Seeing him try for "sad" is like watching a dog try to talk.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Beautifully shot and littered with disquieting character business, the film is hog-tied by its own bad Big Idea.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Remains simplistic and gimmicky in the context of Iranian cinema.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Indiana Jones has never been so missed, but instead this shaggy God story hones in on the faith dilemmas of Banderas and a sputtering Derek Jacobi, so Sunday-hammy you want to rivet him with cloves.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Logic, motivation, suspense -- anything that might make the film frightening or resonant -- is buried under Dolby blams, medulla-shaming dialogue, and a rain of overdubbed hunting-knife schwings that grate like a 3 a.m. car alarm.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Yim's film is kneecapped by its soundtrack twice over.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    It's not easy to endure, despite -- or due to the embarrassment of -- an all-star cast.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    It'll make you cyberlaugh, it'll make you cybercry, just like cyberlife -- One thing is certain: your boredom
    • 65 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The director knows how to apply textural gloss, but his portrait of sex-as-war is strictly sitcom.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The carload of codgers in Fred Schepisi's Last Orders merely bellyache, philosophize, crack unfunny jokes, and ruminate simplemindedly about Death.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    First-timer Dylan Kidd's film isn't Molièrian in its misanthropy, but rather as boneheaded as an hour of talk-radio hobgoblin Tom Leikis.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The story -- is just what fills in the gaps between slow-motion fireballs, Matrix-style frozen mayhem, and Halle Berry's notoriously undraped breasts.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Allegiance to Chekhov, which director Michael Cacoyannis displays with somber earnestness in the new adaptation of The Cherry Orchard, is a particularly vexing handicap.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The movie neither inspires us to pine for what might've been nor makes Gilliam-style filmmaking seem like a noble pursuit.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Offers director Roger Spottiswoode a chance to have the worst actor in Beverly Hills play scenes with himself.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The entire matter of totemistic home-team dementia is roasted on a spit and then embraced for all its sorry pointlessness.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Scene-by-scene, things happen, but you'd be hard-pressed to say what or why; occasionally, a poetic moment leaps out of the soup.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Every other line is a coy Oirishism, and Brosnan, despite being Irish, isn't any more convincing than twinkly-eyed barmaid Julianna Margulies.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    So feel-sniffly-good it could make you revisit lunch.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    xXx
    Diesel himself has the personality of a golem and a knack for dialogue delivery that suggests recent oral surgery.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The notion of grievingly happening upon your dead beloved, young and lovely again, is simple and potent, but the film's airless amateurism, belabored ethnicism ("Oy gevalt!"), and trite dialogue kill it in the water.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Gardos, an experienced film editor, has little narrative sense, and decent performances (except from Kinski, who just worries and huffs around) are left out to dry.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    15 Minutes settles into Richard Donner-style goulash.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Washington directs with proficient blandness charged only occasionally by organic acting moments.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Requiring an enormous amount of suspended disbelief, the original Rings may be a culture-specific phenom; despite strenuous efforts to Americanize Nakata's field of bad dreams, the preview audience did a lot of cackling.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    There is an odd cognitive dissonance at work between the obvious ingenuity dedicated to the film's visual details -- alien anatomies, industrial machinery, technological minutiae -- and the retarded intelligence quotient evident in its content.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Essentially a reheating of 1982's "First Blood" -- a psychologically wounded warrior-vet pits himself against civilized America -- but the fallout this time is simultaneously more ruthless, less emotional, and duller.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The actors all function as best they can as glowering clichés, though the narrative's temporal jump presents difficulties.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Hardly a project worthy of grown men and women.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Despite exposition delivered so redundantly and witlessly you think you're in a Kaplan class, Stigmata manages to be incoherent.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The film exists in a humid meta-movie ether all its own.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Gigli berates, insults, dismisses, throttles, and bellows at Bartha's meticulously aped retard, and then turns sensitive and warm—it's hard to decide which attitude is more insulting.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    An overproduced, video-director remake, slick and grue-marinated and loud as a sonic boom.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Ivey hits the turf pitching and catching dialogue like a pro, but nothing could have saved What Alice Found from a fundamental cinematic illiteracy.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Something does have to give, and that's the nine-figure public patronage of this kind of anemic, wit-free entertainment. Meyers's shakin' moneymaker isn't the worst film of 2003 -- no cat suits, for one thing -- but something scarier: a standard-issue bog of glossy idiocy and audience disrespect.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Director Vicente Amorim's dramatic instincts evoke after-school specials (most of the drama entails the clan's brooding teenager chomping at the parental bit), and his visual ideas are restricted to aping "City of God's" fish-eye ambience and hectic editing.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    An overwhelming portion of Saved! is wall-to-wall Jesus-Jesus-Jesus talk, closer to dead air than social spoof. At times, the screenplay (including Mary's voluminous narration) has the monotonous cadence of a recruitment sermon.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    If you see it, the sequel will be your fault.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The screwiest yarn yet from Shyamalan's metaphysical-Limburger career project, a non-horror horror film.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The even faintly informed will see only a cut-rate vision of flabby white men defending their own bloodthirsty opportunism.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Although inexplicable brogues and burrs appear and disappear, and although Stone post-produces the dickens of his movie trying to generate the maximum spit-fog of sound and fury, Alexander manages to be as dull as the Victor Mature films of the 1950s, which barely moved at all.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Schmaltz served in a hand-painted cup, Happy Times culminates in a Chekhovian complement of two narrated letters that have a mutually corresponding force the rest of the film only hints at. By then, our hopes have fatally diminished.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Tries to show the oh-so-human side of Gospel-hawking, His Word, the Path, and so on.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Eisenstadt has nowhere to go with her catalogue of relaxed urban crazies, and at 79 minutes, the movie is padded out by four song interludes too many.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Watching it is a smidgen like listening to the same monkey-walks-into-a-bar joke for the 105th time, but for the Spierig brothers, it is clearly a demonstration of fast-cheap capabilities and a one-way ticket straight out of Queensland.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Amy Goodman's narration, though correct, has a petulant, Spanish Inquisition ring to it, only made more childish by the film's cheap idealization of the senator from South Dakota as some kind of pacifist Savonarola, overdue for canonization.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Despite this ripe framework and the talent on deck, ILYW is not a satire...Rather, it becomes a cold-serious, dead-air brood about how tough, lonely, and desolate it is being a celebrity.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    This all-digital indie is, by genre standards, either a misfired doodle or an attempt to Lovecraft-ize the popular movement. Or both.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The dead-end social points Gonick is making are so blunt they're hardly points at all anymore, but the galleon anchor that's weighing down this well-intentioned homey is the amateur acting.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Garcia's tale bemoans the loss of easy wealth for a precious few. Poor people are absolutely absent; Garcia and Infante seem to have thought that peasant revolutions happen for no particular reason--or at least no reason the moneyed 1 percent should have to worry about.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    An utterly empty-skulled genre mechanism and nothing more.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    If you're considering the scenario via Japan's ubiquitous pedo-porn tendencies, you're too educated for this exhaustive, manga-based bloodbath, which trails after these angsty teenyboppers on a scorched-fake-earth path through hundreds of growling baddies of every genre size and type.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The movie hardly has enough beef on its bones to make a meal. The very notion that movies about torture are considered "horror," and are more profitable now per foot of celluloid than any other type of independent film, is what's qualmy.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    13
    Lumbers, stumbles, and blows all its secrets at the outset.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The migraine of a story arc needed sharp comedy reflexes or, at least, a live-wire/slummy star turn and got neither.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Dorff's mannered Bruce Willis affect seems as insincere as the script, which helplessly loses credibility as info accrues and the narrative unpeels.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Unoriginal and mired in bad jokes.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Less Bollywood than Generic Asian Family Drama Lite, when it's not a flat-out sunset-choked infomercial for Ahmedabad and its annual rooftop kite-flying festival.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    It's the kind of indie in which shrugging naturalism means nobody has a distinctive personality or energy, and the claustrophobic sense of young Industry workers collarbone-deep into their own navels is hard to shake.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    Far from engaged, the film practically surrenders in an arthritic faint.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    The film is stale Chinese popcorn from the get-go, with only Chen's wiry guilelessness and wicked athletic skills to keep it remotely edible.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Atkinson
    A laughable disaster: an agonizingly long, perversely dull, childishly conceived fantasia on marital sexual angst that could only have been made by someone (like Kubrick).
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 23 Metascore
    • 29 Michael Atkinson
    A drearily over-cynical farce.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 27 Michael Atkinson
    If Lee's intention was to cement our loathing of blackface comedy, he's succeeded all too well.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 44 Metascore
    • 26 Michael Atkinson
    You'd think creating confusion during something as woodenly simpleminded as Dudley Do-Right is no easy task, but you'd be wrong.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 55 Metascore
    • 23 Michael Atkinson
    An aimless, pointless dawdle.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 43 Metascore
    • 23 Michael Atkinson
    A shovelful of silly manure from the get-go.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 23 Michael Atkinson
    Hamilton's quasi-Luddite tale doesn't make a coherent movie under the best of circumstances, and these were, apparently, something substantially less than that.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 30 Metascore
    • 22 Michael Atkinson
    A swamp of clichés, contrivances, and cheap ham-and-cheese hero sentimentality.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 21 Michael Atkinson
    There's nothing wrong with Down to You that a smart script and savvy direction couldn't cure.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Predictably soulless techno-tripe, this Bruckheimer-in-a-can thriller is leavened only by the ludicrous notion of Chris Rock playing separated twins.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Far more preposterous in its details than the average blam-quip-kerplow, The Art of War isn't helped by the performances.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    It's the casting of Liam Neeson as the nervous breakdown that turns the movie to asphalt -- it's like watching Andre the Giant play Woody Allen.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    I'd rather watch a forgotten houseplant dehydrate and die.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    The cheesy idiot-twin of Pawel Pawlikowski's superb "Last Resort."
    • 8 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Culminates in a second bing-bang-boom triple shoot-out that effectively cancels out the shreds of remaining plot but is shot and cut like a sixth grader's Super-8 struggle for Woo-ness.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Even at 70 minutes, The Charcoal People becomes repetitive and hopeless.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Can't surmount its own ineptitude.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Doyle loves bad jokes and his story has no rhyme or reason, dissolving in its last third into a bungled heist and jailhouse face-off.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    I'd take the stakes driven right through my platform pumps over listening to Bruce Vilanch jokes, but that's me.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Has nice, pearly, black-and-white cinematography, but it also has the shocking temerity to run over 100 minutes. Sweet air is required.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    The jerry-rigged result is a trite espionage thriller without the thrills but with a lingering measure of nausea.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Not only microwaves what is already four-day-old fish in Paris, but lets the original director, screenwriters, and stars do the reheating.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Bizarre, confused, sanctimonious manure that makes Lurie's own "The Contender" look responsible by comparison.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    The digital-video results play like a flatulent teenager's first discovery of jazz, cigarettes, and hooch.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    For a few brief moments, it's the bravest work this Hollywood gargoyle (Hawn) has ever done.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    This "Black Hawk Down" theft is a trial by cliché until the climax, which suggests a dress rehearsal for the torching of Baghdad.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Wildflowers is the only brand of requiem the '60s get anymore -- worshipful and ass-backward.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Manure of a relatively clover-scented variety, George Hickenlooper's The Man From Elysian Fields is at primal odds with itself.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Merely an indulgent vehicle for Mrs. Ritchie -- and Madonna is so spectacularly convincing as a hateful, self-absorbed, nouveau riche ogress that her character's third-act transformation is as preposterous as her overmuscled physique.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    As matinee probations go, the movie's tainted by too many bad songs and too much of Bruce Willis.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    The movie is trite like the ocean is big.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Writers are only interesting for what they've written, and for that you'll have to go read.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Though a relatively sober essay on criminal organization, Tycoon is also thoroughly pulpy -- that is, crass, unimaginative, corner-cutting, and simplistic, with the visual vocabulary of daytime soap.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    This movie doesn't just kill time but tortures it.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    So pandering and pebble-brained you'd guess it had been test-screened on barnyard animals.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    What should have been an idiosyncratic 20-minute short is distended by repetition and loads of standard indie-film time-killers.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    The climax comes at you like a thrown cream pie, but given its faux-mythic nerve, it's tolerable. Too bad this latest station in Costner's ongoing self-crucifixion is such small potatoes until then.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Red Dragon's formula is so risible and rote by now that the natural reaction to scenes of peril, torture, and suffering is flippant laughter.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Drama is minimal and character nonexistent.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    A shallow Brazilian trifle.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Shear away the film's pretensions, and it's a soap opera of assholes.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Wallows in the same affected retro stylishness as the earlier film (Croupier), suffers from the same lack of narrative focus, and is just as choked with clichés.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Endearingly pretentious -- as if it swallowed a thick brick of Beckett and can't pass the uncooperative Beckettian stool.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    The blood is raspberry syrup, the gags gag, and the film virtually falls over itself informing us how lame it is.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Earthsea seems to be a stupendously dull place. It would try the patience of any kid.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Can only be appreciated if you don't let guileless amateurishness, or chronic mumbling, ruin your evening.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Patronizing from toe to chin, the film opts continually for self-congratulation and cheesy aphorism, and could've-should've been comfortable slotted into a half hour of airtime on TJC.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    A clumsy, witless cartoon version of E.B. White's rather uncelebrated children's story.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    The dialogue is trite and tinnily recorded, and the actresses have the chops of high-school drama students.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    It is merely another inept teen movie ripping off better horror movies.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 60 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    It's a warped kind of romantic comedy in which the whole is substantially less than the sum of the parts.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Yet another leaden, witless, cliché-drunk, teen romantic comedy starring the preposterously good-looking stars of mediocre TV series.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    A peerless indignity, a club-footed vomit launch of teen-horror clichés, overproduced self-importance, and scareless gore.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 56 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    This pubescent navel-gazer has only its star Holland (Brian De Palma’s stepdaughter) to recommend it, not for her acting but only for her undeniable corn-fed–Emmanuelle Béart looks.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 20 Michael Atkinson
    Kastner’s history is simplistic, his pacing is glacial and his film is laboriously constructed around a campy fictional trio of caricatured gay-black-girl “masterminds” planning the “revolution,” thumbing through a “manifesto” and sprinkling glitter ritualistically on a mirror ball.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 19 Michael Atkinson
    A trial of cliche, strained optimism, and dire quasi-comedy.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 18 Michael Atkinson
    Invoking unpleasant memories of "Caligula" (only without the sex), Titus does no justice to Shakespeare.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 17 Michael Atkinson
    This poor movie is like an abandoned car without plates: Nobody wants to admit it's theirs.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 16 Michael Atkinson
    Greenaway has hit a brick wall, and it's no fun to watch.
    • 7 Metascore
    • 14 Michael Atkinson
    Go see this movie and you'll be...yup. You should save your money; Norm Macdonald should save his career, by quitting movies altogether.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 13 Michael Atkinson
    Struggles like a fat kid on the gym rope to conjure up even a single decent laugh.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 13 Michael Atkinson
    A treacly, ham-fisted, German-American co-production about family ties that should only have been released in the circle of Hell reserved for movie critics.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 31 Metascore
    • 13 Michael Atkinson
    Virtually unwatchable.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 12 Michael Atkinson
    Disheveled tripe pieced together with the good intentions.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 11 Michael Atkinson
    Dim and eye-rollingly foolish -- Call it Dumb, Dumber, Dumber Still, and Dumbest.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 21 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Costner's not a mannered showboat, and what we get isn't a riff—it's a semi-oblivious glimpse of bitter outlaw banality.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    It's barely a movie.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    A stinky dumpster for sentimental dung about homelessness and the magical mecca that isn't Manhattan.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    A self-adrenalizing, self-destructing pop-culture whirligig.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Clearly the product of an editing-room scramble, New Best Friend is a self-lambasting farce, despite Kirshner's passionate college try at establishing a third dimension in a brain-dead movie flatland.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    A real midlife crisis might be more enjoyable.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Contrived and contrived sloppily, this self-adoring soap even manages to make its all-Hispanic cast seem unconvincing -- except for Seda.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Bloodless, lip-biting psycho-carnage.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    The clichés lap like bay waves, from the salutes to the brotherly brawl to the olive-oil tear streaks semipermanently painted down Jackson's cheeks.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Doesn't even have earnestness going for it -- a tepid, blindly assembled post-noir.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    The fiercely original Eddie Izzard is wasted in this botch, not something you could say for lucky millionaire Friend Matt LeBlanc.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    I'd rather eat ball bearings.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Too amateurish to lampoon or evoke either film industry, Bollywood/Hollywood is a movie that owes its presence in theaters to a certain ethnic soccer comedy still circulating like a virus.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    The movie's only discernible purpose is as publicity for the book. An admitted egomaniac, Evans is no Hollywood villain, and yet this grating showcase almost makes you wish he'd gone the way of Don Simpson. Instead, he'll probably get an Irving Thalberg award.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Sheridan seems terrified of the book's irreverent energy, and scotches most of its élan, humor, bile, and irony. What's left wouldn't have substantiated a memoir of any reputation, much less a movie.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Les Mayfield's unintentionally wry American Outlaws just smells -- of filmmaking manure as well as yard-sale revisionism.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Director Harold Ramis and his cast fetch overchewed shticks, but what's surprising is the incompetent witlessness on exhibit. There's no limit to the botched comedy rhythms and wasted opportunities.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    As the basest form of genre hootenanny, it wimps out: There's no twist, no showboat acting, not even an outrageous crisis of paternal violence.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    A walking-talking affront to every middle-class middle-ager it intends to sucker, this remake of the 1979 accidental-classic screwball hits every wrong note and trips on every chair leg.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Dissing a Bond movie is quite like calling a dog stupid, but when it has the temerity to run over two hours, you feel like winding up with a kick.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Stunning in its guileless self-love, Smith's doodle-movie shows virtually no sign of being made for an audience. The 90-minute by-product of Smith's let's-shoot-a-movie pot party can be mystifying -- we've all stood soberly by as high friends guffaw at nothing in particular, but now we can pay for the privilege.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    The unaddressed incongruities are as stupefying as the music.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Wenders's The Million Dollar Hotel is something of a monstrosity -- liquored self-indulgence taken to its own astral plane.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    A heart-wrenching debacle from the starting gun.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Can only be enjoyed with a skullful of Old Bohemian and a faceful of high school crotch.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    For world-class lapses of judgment, Andrei Konchalovsky's House of Fools is a berserk overachiever.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    A prototypical new-millennium summer movie, S.W.A.T. is no more than an extended trailer for itself.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Shot with the TV-movie blahs, the film itself is nothing more than an elaborate reenactment, perfectly mating box-of-rocks acting (bring rotten fruit for Mia Dillon's Southern matriarch) and repetitious dialogue so scripturally florid Maxwell might qualify for a Comedy Screenplay Golden Globe next January.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    May be Jordan's wildest mis-shot yet, so dense with dying fizzle and limp ideas that I began to wonder if Jordan has an evil twin, or if there are in fact several Neil Jordans, among them at least one literate stylist and one humor-handicapped village idiot.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    It's as if on some semiconscious level, Shyamalan, who I do not doubt is a serious and self-serious pop-creative original, is calling his own success into question and daring his audience to gulp down larger and spikier clusters of manure, just to see if they will. Or he's lost his mind.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Whatever the target demographic was in the pre-production phase, now it's limited to sexually active 14-year-olds still retaking the sixth grade.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    A hellish and unconvincing celebration of badda-bing-ness.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Pernicious tripe suitable only for masochists and the intellectually disabled.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    Antitrust is anti-fun, anti-wakefulness, and anti-interesting.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 41 Metascore
    • 10 Michael Atkinson
    A stiff, clumsy, amateurish mess, one of those ethnically righteous movies likely to be endured exclusively by its story's demographic.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 21 Metascore
    • 9 Michael Atkinson
    Better, as they say, than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick -- but only just.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 57 Metascore
    • 8 Michael Atkinson
    Appears to have been written and directed by a grade-school dropout snorting airplane glue.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 36 Metascore
    • 6 Michael Atkinson
    Inept, unfunny, and so brimming with bad ideas it's a wonder it wasn't manufactured by mandrills rather than adult humans.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 5 Michael Atkinson
    Brand-new and uproariously unimproved.
    • Mr. Showbiz
    • 14 Metascore
    • 3 Michael Atkinson
    Sitting through the film is like Chinese water torture, for sure, and for reasons beyond the forced, idiotic campiness of the thing. For one thing, there is not one word of dialogue.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    Self-involved, amateurish, and unoriginal.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    Manipulative tragedy, muddled motivations, incongruous reconciliations, deranged cuteness, all of it directed with a tin ear and laden with a score that evokes the experience of a conditioned lab rat.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    Stay home. Your entertainment-seeking efforts would be better expended perusing old phone books. The white pages.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    Actual concussive cranial abuse would be preferable to Jessie Nelson's I Am Sam.
    • 5 Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    One of a barely acknowledged sub-breed of indie: howling-vanity amateur-work.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    Possibly the most deranged, pointlessly complex, automatic-writing-like cultural manifestation outside the cosmologies of the more creative psychotics.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    It wouldn't be fair to gripe about the hundreds of plot holes; the whole thing is hole.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    Comes scarily close to being the most unendurable Hollywood creation of the last dozen years.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    To spend even 10 minutes in the movie's universe is to experience the Sartrean nausea of an utterly hollow head and heart.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 0 Michael Atkinson
    Branded has ideas, but unfortunately, the ideas are reeking batshit nuts, especially once the cheaply animated "brand" monsters, which might not actually exist, start flying around like Ghostbusters mistakes biting one another. You've been warned.