For 995 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 55% higher than the average critic
  • 4% same as the average critic
  • 41% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 1.4 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Mike Clark's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 64
Highest review score: 100 Apocalypse Now Redux
Lowest review score: 12 Jawbreaker
Score distribution:
995 movie reviews
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Saw
    Becomes exceedingly disgusting when it wallows in the psychological torture of a child, a no-no under any circumstances.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Feels like an especially grisly Twilight Zone stretched to five times its length, features Das Boot's Jurgen Prochnow as missing author Sutter Cane and such screen-schlock reliables as David Warner, John Glover and Bernie Casey. None remotely remedies Mouth's bad breath. [03 Feb 1995, p.4D]
    • USA Today
    • 62 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Coy to a fault, the movie collapses under its own weight with 90 minutes to go, despite Robby Muller's impressive black-and-white photography, which puts the film on a higher artistic plane than other equally unbearable movies. [16 May 1996, Pg.06.D]
    • USA Today
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    If you can't find a more scintillating brand of dirty to enjoy during your own nights (Helena or Hoboken), you're not trying very hard.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Ultimately, it's just too long and redundant, too violent and unpleasant, too stupid and full of itself. But otherwise, lordy. [19 May 1989, p.4D]
    • USA Today
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    If Gooding can't get another "Boyz N the Hood" or "Jerry Maguire" soon, his career will need its own cork.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Inventing the Abbotts would be a lot more fun were it a trashy Troy Donahue-Diane McBain vehicle ground out by Warner Bros. in 1960, the year this hormonally motivated high school-college romance mercifully concludes. [4 April 1997, p. 4D]
    • USA Today
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    One of those movies that goes for a jarringly new emotion every 30 seconds or so while the story's foundation is collapsing.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Usually, I'm as slow as the pacing of a movie in figuring out who's done it. If you can't solve this mystery with an hour to go (as I did), better call for a transfusion so a better type of blood will start flowing to your brain.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Life is a crock -- or something like it.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Begins sinking in the shallow end almost at once.
    • USA Today
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    There's not a cliché that isn't nailed.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    This is by far Kaufman's worst outing since becoming a major filmmaker more than a quarter-century ago, and the fact that his only other stinker from this period is 1993's "Rising Sun" means that maybe he ought to stay away from cop melodramas.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    There's sad news to report about The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D: Put on the cardboard glasses, and you can still see the movie.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Each actor does his own thing for his own audience demographic.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    I cry for I Spy— or I would if this latest and laziest imaginable of all vintage-TV spinoffs were capable of engendering an emotional response of any kind. Comas are physical, not emotional.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    The only thing a movie this unrefined needs is a vaudevillian in baggy pants and someone hawking peanuts in the aisle.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    This one's aimed at those airheads who, like George, have been swinging on a grapevine and slamming into too many trees. [16 July 1997, p. 3D]
    • USA Today
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    In Roy Orbison terms, enduring this movie is like working for The Man.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    When the most notable thing a film offers is the sight of Dennis Farina in drag, you can't expect much.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Don't buy a ticket for this one, even if the theater is having a fire sale on Raisinets.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    May be a spectacularly awful movie, but it's also spectacularly drenched in color, décor and other visual oh-la-la.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Nothing works in this over-elaborate let's-kidnap-a-kid melodrama. [24 Aug 1990]
    • USA Today
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    A movie that has neither dramatic focus nor a single memorable performance, aside from one or two that are memorable for the wrong reasons?
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    When movies have degraded to the point that Tyson is acting more than Quentin Tarantino is directing, maybe it is time for an industry shutdown, strike-induced or otherwise.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    OK, Time Warner, a joke is a joke, but the time of tolerance has passed. Get your creatures out of our faces unless you're willing to regale us by afflicting them with Mad Pokémon Disease.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Actor John Corbett, so clean-cut in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and "Raising Helen," goes surprisingly scruffy here as someone who apparently studied music under Grizzly Adams.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Myopic Whitey, continually passed over for a lifetime achievement athletic award, bears a passing resemblance to Columbia's all-time No. 1 animated star, the nearsighted Mr. Magoo. It's nice to think that if he ever went to this movie, he wouldn't be able to see it.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Appallingly mean-spirited.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Clumsy urban thriller.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Costner, allegedly smitten with his client, had more chemistry with the Warren Commission in JFK. [25 Nov 1992, p.1D]
    • USA Today
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Earth to Earth's young director, Mark Piznarksi : It's tough turning straw into gold, isn't it?
    • USA Today
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    There's no substitute for bad taste. And this one has it double-barreled, both in the timing of its release and as a movie, one said to be loosely based on fact.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    The movie runs just 80 minutes, but it's enough time for doldrums to set in when nifty special effects and funny verbal exchanges are out grabbing a smoke. [19 Feb 1993, Life, p.5D]
    • USA Today
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Kris Kristofferson, as a scaled-down old gray mentor to Blade, still looks like the visual equivalent of your five worst college hangovers.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    There's so little action or suspense that this Cell isn't too likely to multiply itself into a sequel.
    • USA Today
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Sometimes laughably incoherent.
    • USA Today
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Couldn't be murkier or less emotionally involving if it were "The Matrix 8," a natural observation because Keanu Reeves stars in both.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    A Disney Thanksgiving movie that plays like a Halloween holdover is odd enough. Even so, it wouldn't be that bad if you stuck your hand into the trick-or-treat bag and found a hefty, succulently dressed and edible turkey instead of the other kind.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    There are only so many times you can see a slow-motion kickboxing scene or a figure sail off a skyscraper before you want to spend a nice, cozy evening with the Dead Sea Scrolls.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Ed
    Put an infinite number of monkeys in front of an infinite number of word processors, and one of them may indeed write War and Peace, as the old theory goes. But more likely, they'll come up with something like David Mickey Evans' screenplay for Ed. [15 Mar 1996, p.5D]
    • USA Today
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    A potential howler done in by a tendency to wear too much body tissue on its sleeve.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Steven Seagal's acting style is so minimal that we can almost believe a script that tells us that his character's near-death experience left him flatlined for 22 minutes.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Don't say you weren't warned. There are instant clues that this ill-timed Michael Douglas vehicle is a dually unfortunate viewing experience.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Leaves a bad taste, not only because of its bad-luck timing, but also the staleness of its script.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    One of the most violent opening scenes in screen history…Yet given such a visually adept exercise, the rest seems transparently off-the-cuff. There are obese trailer-camp porn stars, heavenly visions, a climactic rendition of Love Me Tender and no-point references to The Wizard of Oz - all of which top this two-hour farrago like a soggy tarp. [17 Aug 1990, Life, 4D]
    • USA Today
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Desperately conceived by even the most insipid standards of contemporary teen-queen cinema, A Cinderella Story operates under a rotting pumpkin of a supposition.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    This come-down of a series capper is so arch and pompous amid its clanks and collisions that you can only snicker at the verbal wind that obscures the din of marauding machinery.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    All this dreary movie has is a terrible whodunit payoff.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    A bottom-rung Bette Midler vehicle disguised as a biopic of novelist Jacqueline Susann, the movie is a wannabe satire shackled by misplaced reverence.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Hip-hoppish Honey is in the harmlessly junky "let's put on a show" tradition of "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo," minus electricity but with a budget for supporting-cast navel rings that 1984's break-dance sequel certainly didn't have.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Timecop's conversation piece is the scene in which Van Damme springs into the air amid hand-to-hand combat, finessing a perfect split atop his kitchen counter. Though definitely ooo-and-aaah stuff, it falls short of landing Timecop the 3-star review earned here by Van Damme's Hard Target. [16 Sep 1994, p.5D]
    • USA Today
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    The filmmakers, who include the hitherto ace action director Jan De Bont ("Speed", "Twister"), have neither hearts nor minds in gear. [13Jun1997 Pg.04.D]
    • USA Today
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    A contrived, unpleasant and very drawn-out affair.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Just about any golden age Hollywood hack could have made a zestier drama about one of the greatest rescue missions in U.S. military history.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Neither the actors nor their characters engender much affection.
    • USA Today
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Live dies around the time Carpenter allows 10 minutes of gratuitous Piper-David eye-gouging, an apparent bone to wrestling fans. Forget the amusing premise; a full crate of magic glasses couldn't make this a bearable movie. [7 Nov 1988]
    • USA Today
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Even the special effects alone aren't worth the price of admission.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Anyone who sees this movie is going to be 20 minutes ahead of it, though there won't be that many after Weekend 1. With domestic disturbances, someone calls the cops. With this DOA, someone had better call the coroner.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    Even if this movie wasn't based on a computer game, Starship Troopers' reputation would still have just shot up another 50 notches. [19 March 1999, Life, p.11E]
    • USA Today
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    The murkiest-looking movie since Ben Affleck's “Daredevil” and about as lacking in charm.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Mike Clark
    You don't envy the three soldiers who get shot for desertion, but you do identify with their desire to flee.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    When the cast starts wondering where the roadkill is, someone says, "Follow the smell." Good tip: That's how you'll know where Wax is playing.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Suspense takes a vacation in sequel. [13 November 1998, p. 6E]
    • USA Today
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    It's one bad apple.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Even by King-movie standards (and there are none lower), the misanthropy, grotesque humor, and all-out ugliness is itself in maximum overdrive. [27 Aug 1993, p.3D]
    • USA Today
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    A pitiful update that saddles poor Cedric the Entertainer with the unenviable task of taking over Jackie Gleason's premier creation, Ralph Kramden.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Gere has never seemed more squirrelly.
    • USA Today
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Dead-carcass spinoff of Jay Ward's animated TV favorite.
    • USA Today
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Bulletproof is both offensive and depressing, from its sociopathic mix of graphic violence and slapstick to its severe career blighting of the once-formidable Ernest Dickerson. [6 Sept 1996, p.3D]
    • USA Today
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    That sound you hear is from jet engines gassing up, about to zoom Underclassman to DVD-ville.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    The word on Rollerball is "troubled," though troubled is what you call a high school junior with 50 snakes under his bed. Catastrophe is more like it.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    You keep waiting for there to be more, but there never is -- other than the fact that it all gets gorier and uglier as the dyspeptic look on Jones' face progresses from a four- to a six-a-day scotch-and-peppermint schnapps hangover.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    MTV addicts may want to check out Shore, whose sound effects (akin to electrical interference) amuse for maybe five minutes. Otherwise, Encino Man is even worse than Medicine Man, which came from the same studio. In a just society, both of them would go the way of Atlantis Man. [22 May 1992, p.12D]
    • USA Today
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    A race-car drama full of flashy but empty images and a soundtrack that makes you feel as if you're being shaken on a motel rumblebed.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    As an artsy but minimally bohemian type, Russo maintains her dignity, an extraordinary accomplishment.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Wow, dudes. Pu-trid. (1989 February 20, p.4D)
    • USA Today
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Imagine a movie so broadly conceived that it was written, directed and all parts were played by Charo — billed in her '70s heyday of Love Boat gigs as the "Cuchi-Cuchi Girl." That's what you get here.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Only the makers of "Freddy Got Fingered" might crack a smile because it now has competition for worst movie of the year.
    • USA Today
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    No comedy this vile should be brazenly foolish enough to give itself this title. [25 November 1998, p. 3D]
    • USA Today
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    This is a movie in which you rarely know where you are or who's doing what to the next person.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Drawn out and dishonest in equal measure, Sam fights it out with "The Majestic" for the title of worst "important" movie of the year.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Clean up the language, and this little roach of a movie could play the bottom half of a double bill with Rowan and Martin's “The Maltese Bippy.” [26 March 1999, Life, p.9E]
    • USA Today
    • 9 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Here's a late-August dog-days atrocity from the "aren't farts funny?" school of filmmaking.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Murky, pretentious and torturously inert.
    • USA Today
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    A little soon for any movie this millennium to reunite overacting Matthew Lillard, underacting Freddie Prinze Jr., feigning mousy Linda Cardellini and the more obviously lip-glossy Sarah Michelle Gellar.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Icky and incompetent (special effects aside) in equal parts, this groaner makes 1994's "The Mask" look like something you'd study in a film graduate course at NYU.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Why would a distributor suddenly yank an animated family film from its intended wide December opening until mid-January? Could it be that the advance word of mouth wasn't very good-winked?
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    The only good thing about Impostor is the appropriateness of its title for a film posing as the first 2002 release.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    The trouble with indulging Taking Lives is that it's taking your time.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    There's nothing sleazier than sleaze that fails to titillate, and this drab blight on a hot cast is as sleazy as a preordained hit ever gets. [07 Apr 1993 Pg. 08.D]
    • USA Today
    • 22 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    This Paramount release doubles the insult because it rips off the title of one of the studio's best-remembered Jerry Lewis comedies.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Structured loosely enough to work in all the excrement and incest jokes necessary to seem hip these days.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Geared to 16-year-olds who can't name the governor of their state, this movie ought to be closed down by the health department.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Remarkably, the plot has much in common with "Hellboy II: The Golden Army," yet that bundle of fun has enough vision to make even its Barry Manilow interlude seem appropriate.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    The movie's biggest drawback is a failure to deliver what's promised.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    Kid's tone is off 100% of the time. The young actors are irredeemably bland, and two of the adults (Michael Des Barres' bank president, James LeGros' Storm Trooper-like security guard) are hammy enough to make James Brown seem controlled.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Mike Clark
    George A. Romero, less Living Dead here than dying artistically, adapts Stephen King in a movie without a good half. [23 Apr 1993, p.4D]
    • USA Today
    • 22 Metascore
    • 12 Mike Clark
    An air of self-congratulation hangs over the empty tank of gas called Jawbreaker, as if writer-director Darren Stein just can't wait to dazzle us with the gaudy visuals he's soldered onto a standard-issue black-comedy script.
    • USA Today
    • 56 Metascore
    • 12 Mike Clark
    Hopped-up Falling Down is a technically proficient grabber that exploits white-male angst while adeptly juggling two stories filmed in contrasting styles. Slick, maybe facile, and with a nasty streak, it is nonetheless 1993's first consistently engrossing movie. [26 Feb 1993, p.1D]
    • USA Today
    • 14 Metascore
    • 12 Mike Clark
    With its long takes and a talky script involving an influx of revolving-door eccentrics, Nuts has the feel of a badly filmed play - akin to, say, any 12 of the worst Neil Simon screen adaptations. [21 Dec 1994, p.6D]
    • USA Today

Top Trailers