For 567 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 25% higher than the average critic
  • 4% same as the average critic
  • 71% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 15.1 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Nick Schager's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 45
Highest review score: 100 Days of Heaven
Lowest review score: 0 Vampires Suck
Score distribution:
567 movie reviews
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Guy Ritchie may have creatively moved on from his Tarantino-inspired debut, but international crime cinema has not, as again evidenced by Magnus Martens's film.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Prizes computer-generated wizardry above logical plotting or thoughtful character development, a misguided set of priorities exacerbated by the fact that said digital effects prove so chintzy.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Coming across as a promotional showcase for a gaggle of young up-and-coming singer-actors, Don't Go in the Woods tethers together numerous indie-rock musical numbers with a backwoods-horror-film framework that's the definition of an afterthought.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Far more concerned with pratfalling animal shenanigans and unearned uplift than crafting a single complex or amusing moment, it's a film caged in by formulaic plotting and plentiful pap.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Just an extended dramatization of the 1980s anti-drug PSA that memorably cautioned "I learned it by watching you!"
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Brandishing a literal-minded title as laughable as the rest of its action, Cowboys & Aliens mashes up genres with a staunch dedication to getting everything wrong, making sure that each scene is more inane than the one that preceded it.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Todd Robinson's film is a third-rate submarine-set drama until, in its final moments, it sinks to fourth-rate.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Wither the rollicking verve and whip-crack humor in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows?
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    The way in which the action indulges in long, underlined silences furthers the overriding sense of trying too hard to muster up a suspenseful mood from a conceit better suited to a half-hour television program.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    No amount of intentional stabs at humor can offset the hilarious awfulness of Dario Argento’s Dracula.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Gus Van Sant's cinema, which of late has been fixated on immersing viewers in particular times and spaces, takes a detour into excruciating quirkland with Restless.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    A film of precious, romanticized misery and squalor.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    Though it boasts its fair share of shots that approximate the turtle's first-person point of view, the film's most dominant presence is its heavy-handed maker.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    If The Hangover was a boorish blackout fantasy for our binge-drinking age, The Hangover Part II is something like the contents of a fraternity house's toilet the morning after an insane kegger-namely, regurgitated elements of a more entertaining prior adventure.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Nick Schager
    A film that plays like a long, tedious inside joke for fanboys.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    While it may make the City of Light look beautiful, ultimately, this insufferable indie auteur's navel-gazer is just another faux-kinky vanity project in which its creator's neuroses are placed on an undeserved pedestal.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    As if written by a robot whose frame of reference wasn't human reality but merely fairy-tale romantic comedies, Love, Wedding, Marriage strips genre tropes down to their scrawny, brittle bones.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    It's simply one wearisome '90s crime-cinema cliché after another.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    Not a single arresting image is found amid the sci-fi rubble, though unintentional laughs eventually arrive courtesy of a cornball motivational speech by Eckhart's hero.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    Fans of incessant flashbacks and endless whooshing zooms into close-ups will find much to love about Assassin's Bullet; less satisfied, alas, will be those with a fondness for lucid plotting, compelling intrigue, and credible performances.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    The film succeeds only in turning one's stomach via implausibilities, inanities and the unwelcome sight of Brian Dennehy's naked ass.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    Dark House practically drowns under the weight of mismatched horror tropes, including a preponderance of loud-noise jolt-scares and idiotic character behavior.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    A multicultural mini–Thelma and Louise but far duller than that description implies, Just Like a Woman peddles feminist empowerment with one-note didacticism.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    Romanycheva exudes cunning carnality, yet her wiles are as rote as the rest of this B-grade genre flick, which feigns interest in post-Communist Eastern European power dynamics but favors listlessly staged shoot-outs and heists devoid of emotional, psychological, or sociopolitical substance.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    The film indulges in much wannabe-funny wailing, shrieking, and flopping about by Nénette and Paul, only to then lace its buffoonish material with semi-serious undercurrents.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    The real bogeyman is incomprehensible plotting in director Steven C. Miller's Under the Bed, which matches narrative incoherence with one of the most over-the-top portentous scores in horror-cinema history.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    A few decent one-liners notwithstanding, the movie comes off as willfully uninspired.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    Throughout, Helberg's awkward-anxious routine proves insufferable, and it's made no more tolerable by supporting turns from Zachary Quinto, Alfred Molina, and Judith Light, who are given so little to do that their presence in this mess feels downright cruel to both them and us.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Nick Schager
    The latest—and perhaps dreariest—horror film to employ a found-footage conceit.

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