For 779 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 9.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Robert Abele's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 53
Highest review score: 100 Krisha
Lowest review score: 0 Detention of the Dead
Score distribution:
779 movie reviews
    • 29 Metascore
    • 35 Robert Abele
    Visually, Ratchet & Clank has its appeal.... But the story is ultimately too predictable and forgettable to make Ratchet & Clank anything but a kid-targeted holdover between slavishly awaited tentpole behemoths from the comic book world.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 35 Robert Abele
    This Ben-Hur may not be an epic fail, but its steady stream of shortcomings are certainly a cautionary journey for anybody with the hubris to try and rebuild the monuments of movies past.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 35 Robert Abele
    It’s as if Haley viewed his star’s strengths — laconic wit, unforced masculinity, polite romanticism — as the only elements needed for a Sam Elliott showcase, rather than as the building blocks from which to mold an original character.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 35 Robert Abele
    The clichéd story wouldn’t even be an issue if the movie were enjoyable. But little works as humor or suspense or sentiment once the job is on.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Consider Twelve its own memory-retarding narcotic.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    One can't help experiencing the same dread about the exhausting flood of lackluster horror films that swamp our screens and, as Case 39 unfolds, realizing we're enduring one more.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    This hollow downer about deep wells of male anger, wallowing regret and mental disintegration is ultimately a thematic cop-out.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    South Korean filmmaker Sngmoo Lee's debut feature is less a genre-spanning romp than a tiresome lab experiment in computer-generated tropes and green-screen oppressiveness.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    As a misfit-centric slap at religious conformity, the story's premise couldn't be more primed for trenchant social comedy, but screenwriter Knight and director Eyad Zahra opt for maintaining a thin veneer of tiresome obnoxiousness over exploring the contours of an emotionally complicated subculture.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Gone is the scrappy, brutal wit of the original - nothing more than an unfettered showcase for Jaa's talents - and in its place is more of the overwrought myth making that sunk "Ong Bak 2: The Beginning."
    • 20 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Hansel and Gretel are this movie's breakout stars, but it's not enough to make Hoodwinked Too feel like anything but a storybook hurled straight at your head.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Brings vampires, werewolves, zombies, detective noir and spoofy comedy together for a murky genre gumbo with barely any flavor.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Unformed protagonists don't come more wallowingly irritating and contradictory than George.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Though the title hints at a tale of infatuation, Levy sheds little light on interpersonal conflict or why we're such an addictively self-documenting modern society.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Stay past the credits, though, and you'll find a tongue-in-cheek rap video recap with the cast - and directed by star Dustin Milligan - that carries the kind of spoofy insouciance missing from the main attraction.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    No image or moment is grounded – every shot is augmented with restless animation, smart-ass narration or video game sounds. The artificiality of it all is smothering.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Writer-director Abe Sylvia slathers on the cartoonish characterization and neon-colored '80s pop - Benatar! Joan Jett! The Outfield! - for an easy-bake mood-setting, which is tedious enough. But his attempts at situational humor on the road - including a stripping scene for Dozier as coming-out metaphor - fall embarrassingly flat.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Frankly, it's hard to imagine even George Clooney making such ill-used screen minutes interesting. But the movie around those moments is even worse.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    In the wake of "Bridesmaids," Sandler's lipsticked tomfoolery - and inability to share the screen with genuinely funny women - feels particularly regressive and stale. Both movies have diarrhea gags, but only one feels defined by such humor.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    If only 11-11-11 had arrived a little closer to Thanksgiving - the turkey connection would have been entirely appropriate.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    All cartoon and no charm.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    An undercooked, "Glee"-like hybrid of grating indie pop songs and forest slasher flick.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The only way to describe this movie's trio of party-throwing protagonists is numbingly predictable, as if writers Michael Bacall and Matt Drake had "Superbad" on a loop in the background.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    If you've seen most any rom-com you know where this one's headed. Unfortunately, under director Sheree Folkson's unsteady hand, getting there is more frustrating than fun.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Plodding, predictable, amateurishly staged and with wild swings in acting quality - sometimes within the same person (Roberts) - this is the kind of well-meaning, homemade concoction hopelessly enamored of the kind of clichéd potboilers that don't get made anymore. And with good reason.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The nonstop adversity lacks any real sense of danger. Or, for that matter, emotional punch. Why these two long-distance runners keep each other alive should be of front-and-center concern. Instead, My Way is mostly an endurance test.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    When Rebecca De Mornay shows up as the criminals' fiercely doting matriarch, the ready crackle of her studiously demonic performance brings welcome distraction from this otherwise crude litany of torture and wretched death.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Thin, neatly folded, paper-airplane of a movie threatens to nose dive into tweeville.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Weaver's last ditch attempt to upend rom-com convention and rewrite the movie as a skeevy lout's comeuppance hardly makes up for the clichéd slog that comes before.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The dull, hectoring financial melodrama Supercapitalist has all the spark of a high school assembly skit about not letting friends drive drunk.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    To borrow a hamburger chain's refrain, not lovin' it.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The trouble is that it's hard to care about poor Wayne when he seems so empty-headed and naïve - civic unrest in Peru on the eve of its first democratic elections in 1980 is the setting - and when the movie itself seems so unfocused.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Writer-director Leone Marucci has a scratch-worthy itch for plump visuals and flashy camera moves, but a limp way with dialogue and story, and — despite his cast — no grip on directing actors.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    For all the ways Dickerson vigorously dramatizes the stages of solitary confinement — nervous humor, fear, rages, survival ingenuity (including a nifty breathing apparatus) — it's never enough to explain why this particular individual's story is worth telling.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Erased is eminently forgettable.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    After the quiet, dread-filled punch of the first half-hour — when it seems vampire culture is going to get turned on its head — Iwai's character study mostly descends into a pretentious slog.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    A routine home invasion movie more interested in B-horror tropes and bloodletting than a thought-provoking look at "Hunger Games"-ish class warfare.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    An action fan could be forgiven for the medicinal taste that this slick but dissipating exercise leaves behind.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Stranded stops at being merely seriously dull and trite, rather than tipping into train-wreck silliness.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    A structural, chronological mess of information and emotion, so chaotically shot and edited to move from stat to image to sound bite that it suffers from its own concentration issues.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    For Sedaris fans, C.O.G. is a regrettably patronizing washout.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    In its stylistically flailing stab at authenticity, CBGB ends up merely a mess of caricatures.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The scenarios in Ass Backwards, which director Chris Nelson contributed to by filming in focus, feel arbitrary rather than organic, as if the creators' list of humor targets — lesbian bikers, trailer trash, drug-addicted reality TV stars, pageant world denizens — were picked out of a hat.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    If Michael Mann, Luc Besson and Quentin Tarantino all ate the same bad sushi together, the unfortunate end result might just resemble the pre-digested pap that is the French thriller Paris Countdown.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Apart from Farmer's effectively stricken portrayal of a singularly conflicted man, The Falls: Testament of Love is too earnest a slog to have any impact.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The movie's early promise fades, however, as an Apatowian crassness descends upon the comic situations, churlishness gets mistaken for rawness, and sweetness starts to feel manipulative instead of natural.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    We're more than 45 years out from Roman Polanski's director-controlled masterpiece in gestating terror, and yet no gimmick in Devil's Due — no point-of-view shock cut or shaky-cam "realism" — is as dread-inducing as tracking the grim revelations on Mia Farrow's face.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Beware any movie that talks about what it is before being what it is.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Fairbrass has a certain rugged sincerity and appealing sense of barely coiled rage, but it's mostly wasted in a screenplay (by director Brian A. Miller) of gaping plot holes, wan excitement and dumb action cliches.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Too often, Carter sacrifices characterization for one more flickery effect or carefully composed shot of moody elegance, then overdoes unlighted interiors to an almost absurd degree.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Suffers from the tired POV gimmickry, the weak characterizations, the numbing sameness of stuck-in-the-woods-with-dolts narratives.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    [A] thoroughly routine, straight-to-video-reminiscent action thriller set in Louisiana.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    [An] amateurish, terribly acted piffle, which devolves from dull conversations behind store counters into witless farce on a movie set.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    It's a junky, unscary genre piece with a misleading title, because director and co-writer John Pogue jacks up the decibels so often to manufacture frights that you fear a punctured eardrum more than anything else.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    This film from writer Kenny Golde and director Mark Schmidt slaps a clichéd war-movie dressing over everything so that what should have felt heart-poundingly incredible comes off as heavy-handed, ludicrous and unintentionally queasy.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Jaglom is too spiritually and cinematically lazy to do anything but evoke glib, artless solidarity, and let us know he's heard of Twitter and Facebook.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Even without the queasy racial stereotypes, Walk of Shame feels perfunctorily assembled, its obstacles straining even screwball logic.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The clichés alone doom the movie.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    With all the finesse of a bullhorn that sprays noise and blood, All Cheerleaders Die shows just how difficult it is to pump life into the shopworn teen horror-comedy genre.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    If La Bare had snarky voice-over narration, it could be a segment on "The Colbert Report."
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The title's promise of violence is dutifully met in gory, sonically squishy close-quarter melees shot in Confuse-o-vision, as if the camera had been strapped to a whirring blender before the footage was edited with the puree button.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    A true tale of high school football achievement becomes a strained, by-the-numbers grab bag of uplift in the Christian sports drama When the Game Stands Tall.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    It's called The November Man, but it's really just another forgettable August release.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The Identical is ultimately too schematically sentimental, even with Liotta playing against type, to have much of an impact.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Like so many movie stars, Bigfoot has been sold out by movie opportunists, in this case as ho-hum fright bait in the aggressively unimaginative Exists.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The ghost scenario that this boring, CW-ready, "Scooby-Doo" gang uncovers isn't nearly as shocking as the blasé attitude they have toward friends dying off.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Lowell, a sitcom actor ("Enlisted") and photographer, lards his "The Big Chill" ripoff with plenty of arty touches... He assumes this will lend the needed heft to paper-thin characters, witless exchanges and emotional recriminations you can see coming a mile away.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Besides never knowing where to stick a camera, or how long a given scene should last, Hopkins quickly ditches any potentially subversive joy in her cartoon vigilante by saddling her with a redemptive love story opposite James Badge Dale's kind-eyed sheriff.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    A kitchen-sink mess with no discernible narrative drive or thematic resonance beyond uninspired batches of bad behavior, gunplay, eccentricity and weak uplift.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Breathless, uninspired January junk that feels like the iffiest bits of a Lifetime movie and late-night cable schlock slapped together. (And not erotically.)
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Feels precision-engineered for a morally torn fanboy who likes the idea of female empowerment but needs it served with a heavy dose of torture porn and glistening flesh.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    A movie lovely to look at but on-the-nose and crushingly dull, a pair of qualities a ghost yarn can't live on.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    It's all simplistic sermonizing in director and co-writer Alejandro Monteverde's hands, devoid of any thoughtful messiness about wartime mind-sets or family despair, and quick to sand any edges with postcard-pretty coastal town vistas and cutesy music cues.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The young man is inspiring all on his own, never more so than when he's being social or making music with others. It's only the movie around him that is so artless in its uplift.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Crushingly listless and at times as off-putting as a needle scratching vinyl, this corkscrew tale of questionable (and questioned) parenting, youthful misjudgments, grudges and disappointments doesn't even have the disciplined domestic-evil allure of a Lifetime movie.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Seeking existential, noirish heft, Amoedo coyly avoids articulating what Martin is. (He calls himself "sick.") But it only comes across like an amateur play at gravitas, one unsupported by dully weighted scenes and clunky dialogue, delivered mostly by English-speaking actors straining to hide Latin accents.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Burying the Ex is a genre-mashing low for Dante.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Rarely do you sense that any key performer was ever in the vicinity of a real animal.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    In writer-director Gilles Paquet-Brenner's hands, it's a convoluted, airless procedural that generates practically no suspense and little that's thematically resonant about lost souls and poisoned memories.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Revenge is a dish served lumpy and tasteless in the tonally muddled Return to Sender.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Nothing about Sinister 2 comes close to the feel-bad ode to literally and figuratively dark interiors that distinguished the title-earning original.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Writers Skip Woods and Michael Finch have a few tricks up their sleeves as betrayals emerge and allegiances shift. But it's not enough to make us care or to keep the third act from being a head-scratching mess.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    A treadmill sex comedy, huffing and puffing in place until its time is up.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    [It] is it all forced and regrettably laugh-free, despite the considerable energy the actors put into it.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Writer Eddie Guzelian's grindhouse-meets-"Groundhog Day" scenario is not without its clever plot turns, but his terrible faux-noir dialogue is mostly crass, witless snark, and the fresh-faced, hollow actors don't have the scuzzy charm or fatalistic comic rhythms needed to make this material disreputably fun.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    That Les isn't one of LaBute's garden variety sadists is the best thing you can say about Dirty Weekend.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Cheap silliness abounds, including car chases that are more about loud crashes and CGI than the thrill of speed.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Under Mikael Håfström's visually clunky, rhythmless direction, it's a snooze of epic sameness: choppy action scenes, a blankly stern Cusack, and too many allegiance shifts to count or care for.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Roth, who is no Michael Haneke (or even Adrian Lyne), seems unconcerned with creating genuine tension or digging into an allegory of moral consequence.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The Last Witch Hunter is one of those artlessly restless, exposition-dialogue fantasy-action slogs that, thanks to Breck Eisner's untamed direction, never manages to corral all the potion talk, mythology rationale and leaps back and forth in time into anything remotely entertaining.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Tower to the People means well, and Tesla deserves his own movie, but it's like being cornered by a zealot: an educational slog that morphs into an infomercial.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    What you won't feel is genuine horror, because unlike John Carpenter -- whose original 1978 film is a sly game of nerve-racking peekaboo -- Zombie isn't out to engage fans of the genre with a slaughterhouse bonbon like "Halloween II."
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Despite some scenic territory, there's just not much to this journey, leaving Lost in the Sun feeling like a short story stretched way too thinly toward feature length.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The celebrity soup that is Love the Coopers is, indeed, a mess, the kind in which the screenplay by Steven Rogers...is made more chaotic by Jessie Nelson's tonally smeary direction.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Strict adherence to the playbook may work in sports, but My All American shows the pitfalls of that approach with movies.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    A famously crackpot conspiracy theory, psychedelic humor and arty ultraviolence make for dreary bedfellows in the scattershot British comedy Moonwalkers.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    To say everyone plays like they're in separate movies is an understatement.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    Well-intended seriousness dismantles Regression, a not-exactly-horror horror movie that's also a mystery with no mystery.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    As long as there are enemies in Islamic lands, we'll probably have to endure risible time-wasters like London Has Fallen, designed to justify blinkered foreign policy attitudes and stoke jokey hatred.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Abele
    The movie — glibly admiring of its hero's awfulness — is tone-deaf about genuine satire, assuming anything ugly (insults, nihilism, bloody violence) qualifies as sharp cultural commentary as long as the unceasingly venal, knowing narration explains it all for us.

Top Trailers