For 4,127 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 75% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 23% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.1 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Roger Ebert's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 71
Highest review score: 100 L.A. Story
Lowest review score: 0 The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)
Score distribution:
4127 movie reviews
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    An innocuous family feature that's too little/too late in the fast-moving world of feature animation.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    What we basically have here is a license for the filmmakers to do whatever they want to do with the special effects, while the plot, like Wile E. Coyote, keeps running into the wall.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Movies like this demonstrate that when it comes to stupidity and vulgarity, only the best will do for our children.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    There is nothing funny about the situation in Teaching Mrs. Tingle.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The Legend of Zorro commits a lot of movie sins, but one is mortal: It turns the magnificent Elena into a nag.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    It involves teenagers who have never existed, doing things no teenager has ever done, for reasons no teenager would understand. Of course, it's aimed at the teenage market.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    It's nice, but it's not much of a comedy.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    You want gore, you get gore. Hatchet II plays less like a slasher movie than like the highlight reel from a slasher movie.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Obviously made with all of the best will in the world, its heart in the right place, this is a sluggish and dutiful film that plays more like a eulogy than an adventure.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    I cringed.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    I went to Crossroads expecting a glitzy bimbofest and got the bimbos but not the fest. Britney Spears' feature debut is curiously low-key and even sad.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    As for Shaquille O'Neal, given his own three wishes the next time, he should go for a script, a director and an interesting character.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The Jackal, on the other hand, impressed me with its absurdity. There was scarcely a second I could take seriously.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    I seem to be developing a rule about talking animals: They can talk if they're cartoons or Muppets, but not if they're real.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    A classic species of bore: a self-referential movie with no self to refer to. One character after another, one scene after another, one cute line of dialogue after another, refers to another movie, a similar character, a contrasting image, or whatever.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The plot was an arbitrary concoction.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    "Clerks" spoke with the sure, clear voice of an original filmmaker. In Mallrats the voice is muffled, and we sense instead advice from the tired, the establishment, the timid and other familiar Hollywood executive types.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The Flower of My Secret is likely to be disappointing to Almodovar's admirers, and inexplicable to anyone else.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Everybody knew to wait for the outtakes during the closing credits, because you'd see him miss a fire escape or land wrong in the truck going under the bridge. Now the outtakes involve his use of the English language.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Joe Dirt is so obviously a construction that it is impossible to find anything human about him; he is a concept, not a person.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    It's a nine days' wonder, a geek show designed to win a weekend or two at the box office and then fade from memory.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The movie makes two mistakes: (1) It isn't very funny, and (2) it makes the crucial error of taking its story seriously and angling for a happy ending.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    A march through the swamp of recycled ugly duckling stories, with occasional pauses in the marsh of sitcom cliches and the bog of Idiot Plots.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The film is a gloomy special-effects extravaganza filled with grotesque images, generating fear and despair.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    There must be humor here somewhere.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    A first draft for a movie that could have been extraordinary.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    It's unnecessary in the sense that there is no good reason to go and actually see it.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    A long slog through perplexities and complexities.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    It is not faulty logic that derails The Hills have Eyes, however, but faulty drama. The movie is a one-trick pony.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Newsies is like warmed-over Horatio Alger, complete with such indispensable cliches as the newsboy on crutches, the little kid, and of course the hero's best pal, who has a pretty sister.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Bootmen is the story of a young dancer and his friends who revisit the cliches of countless other dance movies in order to bring forth a dance performance of clanging unloveliness.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    So unsuccessful in so many different ways that maybe the whole project was doomed.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    It knows the words but not the music; while the Farrelly brothers got away with murder, The Sweetest Thing commits suicide.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    None of the action is coherent; shots and shells are fired, people and killed or not, explosions rend the air, SUVs spin aloft (the same one more than once, I think), and there is no sense of strategy.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Another one of those road comedies where Southern roots are supposed to make boring people seem colorful. If these characters were from Minneapolis or Denver, no way anyone would make a film about them.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    There's no chemistry between Deeds and Babe, but then how could there be, considering that their characters have no existence, except as the puppets in scenes of plot manipulation.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The movie stars Jim Carrey, who is in his pleasant mode. It would have helped if he were in his manic mode, although it's hard to get a rise out of a penguin.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The movie is a paid holiday for its director, Harold Becker. I say this because I know what Becker is capable of.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Plays like a collision between leftover bits and pieces of Marvel superhero stories. It can't decide what tone to strike.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Would it have been that much more difficult to make a movie in which Tom and Sarah were plausible, reasonably articulate newlyweds with the humor on their honeymoon growing out of situations we could believe? Apparently.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    If you're a fan of extreme skateboarding, motorcycling and motocross, this is the movie for you. If not, not. And even if you are, what's in the film other than what you might have seen on TV? Yes, it's in 3D, which adds nothing and dims the picture.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    To the degree that you will want to see this movie, it will be because of the surprise, and so I will say no more, except to say that the "solution," when it comes, solves little - unless there is really little to solve, which is also a possibility.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    A movie that filled me with an urgent desire to see Sarah Silverman in a different movie. I liked everything about it except the writing, the direction, the editing and the lack of a parent or adult guardian.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    House of D is the kind of movie that particularly makes me cringe, because it has such a shameless desire to please; like Uriah Heep, it bows and scrapes and wipes its sweaty palm on its trouser leg, and also like Uriah Heep, it privately thinks it is superior.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Ansiedad is a smart charmer, and well-played by Cierra Ramirez, she should really be above this sort of thing - above the whole movie, really.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    Stealth is an offense against taste, intelligence and the noise pollution code -- a dumbed-down "Top Gun" crossed with the HAL 9000 plot from "2001."
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    A labored and sour comedy.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The kind of movie beloved by people who never go to the movies, because they are primarily interested in something else--the Civil War, for example--and think historical accuracy is a virtue instead of an attribute.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The movie adds up to a few good ideas and a lot of bad ones, wandering around in search of an organizing principle.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The plot risks bursting under the strain of its coincidences, as Sara and Jon fly to opposite coasts at the same time and engage in a series of Idiot Plot moves so extreme and wrongheaded that even other characters in the same scene should start shouting helpful suggestions.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    There is a kind of studied stupidity that sometimes passes as humor, and Jared Hess' Napoleon Dynamite pushes it as far as it can go.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The screenplay by Kim Barker requires Bullock to behave in an essentially disturbing way that began to wear on me. It begins as merely peculiar, moves on to miscalculation and becomes seriously annoying.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    I laughed, yes, I did, several times during Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. That's proof, if any is required, that I still possess streaks of immaturity and vulgarity.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    It is the anti-Sundance film, an exhausted wheeze of bankrupt cliches and cardboard characters, the kind of film that has no visible reason for existing, except that everybody got paid.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    An efficient delivery system for Gotcha! Moments, of which it has about 19. Audiences who want to be Gotchaed will enjoy it.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The film is a sharp disappointment to those who have been waiting for 10 years since the master's last film. The best that can be hoped is that, having made a film, Coppola has the taste again, and will go on to make many more, nothing like this.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 38 Roger Ebert
    The poster art for A Thousand Words shows Eddie Murphy with duct tape over his mouth, which as a promotional idea ranks right up there with Fred Astaire in leg irons.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of Sex and the City 2 are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    An idiotic ode to macho horseshite (to employ an ancient Irish word). It is however distinguished by superb cinematography.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Not only am I ill-prepared to review the movie, but I venture to guess that anyone who is not literally a member of a Scooby-Doo fan club would be equally incapable. This movie exists in a closed universe, and the rest of us are aliens. The Internet was invented so that you can find someone else's review of Scooby-Doo. Start surfing.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Pants and wheezes and hurls itself exhausted across the finish line after barely 65 minutes of movie, and then follows it with 15 minutes of end credits in an attempt to clock in as a feature film.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    An agonizingly creaky movie that laboriously plods through a plot so contrived that the only thing real about it is its length.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The characters in these movies exist in a Twilight Zone where thousands of rounds of ammunition are fired, but no one ever gets shot unless the plot requires him to.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Monster-in-Law fails the Gene Siskel Test: "Is this film more interesting than a documentary of the same actors having lunch?"
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    This project is dead in the water. Read the book. Better still, read "Victory."
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The people in this movie are dumber than a box of Tinkertoys.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The Spirit is mannered to the point of madness. There is not a trace of human emotion in it. To call the characters cardboard is to insult a useful packing material.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The sad thing about A Night at the Roxbury is that the characters are in a one-joke movie, and they're the joke.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Just when it seems about to become a real corker of an adventure movie, plunges into incomprehensible action, idiotic dialogue, inexplicable motivations, causes without effects, effects without causes, and general lunacy. What a mess.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    An inept assembly of ill-matched plot points, meandering through a production that has attractive art direction (despite the immobile mouths).
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    I recommend that Kelly keep right on cutting until he whittles it down to a ukulele pick.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Aggressively simple-minded, it's fueled by the delusion that it has a brilliant premise: Eddie Murphy plus cute kids equals success. But a premise should be the starting point for a screenplay, not its finish line.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The result is not merely a bad film, but a waste of an opportunity. As he approaches 85, Winters is still active, funny, enthusiastically involved in painting and could have been the subject of a good film. This isn't it.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie has been slapped together by director Todd Phillips, who careens from scene to scene without it occurring to him that humor benefits from characterization, context and continuity. Otherwise, all you have is a lot of people acting goofy.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A film is a terrible thing to waste. For Roman Coppola to waste one on A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III is a sad sight to behold. I'll go further. For Charlie Sheen to waste a role in it is also a great pity. I stop not: For Bill Murray to occupy his time in this dreck sandwich is a calamity.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    This film is an affront. It is incoherent, maddening, deliberately opaque and heedless of the ways in which people watch movies.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A visually ugly film with an incoherent plot, wooden characters and inane dialog. It provided me with one of the more unpleasant experiences I've had at the movies.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Underclassman doesn't even try to be good. It knows that it doesn't have to be. It stars Nick Cannon, who has a popular MTV show, and it's a combo cop movie, romance, thriller and high school comedy. That makes the TV ads a slam dunk; they'll generate a Pavlovian response in viewers conditioned to react to their sales triggers (smartass young cop, basketball, sexy babes, fast cars, mockery of adults).
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    If he wants a future in the movies, Andrew Dice Clay is going to have to play somebody other than himself.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Bad movie. Ugly movie.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie is unpleasant to look at. It's darker than "Seven," but without sufficient purpose, and my overall memory of it is of people screaming in the shadows. To call this a comedy is a sign of optimism; to call it a comeback for Murphy is a sign of blind faith.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    There is not a spark of chemistry between Chris and Jamie, although the plot clearly requires them to fall in love. There is so much chemistry involved with the Anna Faris character, however, that she can set off multiple chain reactions with herself, if you see what I mean.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Inexplicably, there are people who still haven't had enough of these movies. The first was a nifty novelty. Now the appeal has worn threadbare.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie is pretty bad, all right. But it has a certain charm. It's so completely wrong-headed from beginning to end that it develops a doomed fascination.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie seems to reinvent itself from moment to moment, darting between styles like a squirrel with too many nuts. There is one performance that works, sort of, and it is by Marisa Tomei,
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The best shot in this film is the first one. Not a good sign.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Too many characters, not enough plot, and a disconnect between the two stars' acting styles.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    It's a movie with so many inconsistencies, improbabilities, unanswered questions and unfinished characters that we have to suspend not only disbelief but also intelligence.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Cool World is a seriously troubled film, so ragged I doubt if even the director can explain the story line.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Laughter for me was such a physical impossibility during National Lampoon's Van Wilder that had I not been pledged to sit through the film, I would have lifted myself up by my bootstraps and fled.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The filmmakers rely so heavily on cliches, on stock characters in old situations, that it's as if they never really had any confidence in their performers.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A movie about two old codgers who are nothing like people, both suffering from cancer that is nothing like cancer, and setting off on adventures that are nothing like possible.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Leads us down the garden path of romance, only to abandon us by the compost heap of uplifting endings. And it's not even clever enough to give us the right happy ending. It gives us the wrong happy ending.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    UHF
    The result is a very unfunny movie. It's routine, predictable, and dumb - real dumb.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie was executive produced by Quentin Tarantino. Shame on him. He intends it no doubt as another homage to grindhouse pictures, but I've seen a lot of them, and they were nowhere near this bad. "Hell's Angels on Wheels," for example: pretty good.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    For years there have been reports of the death of the Western. Now comes American Outlaws, proof that even the B Western is dead.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Sarah Michelle Gellar, the nominal star, has been in her share of horror movies, and all by herself could have written and directed a better one than this.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The philosopher Thomas Hobbes tells us life can be "poor, nasty, brutish and short." So is this movie.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    An assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense and the human desire to be entertained.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Sometimes it works to show their lips moving (it certainly did in "Babe"), but in Good Boy! the jaw movements are so mechanical it doesn't look like speech, it looks like a film loop.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The Perfect Man crawls hand over bloody hand up the stony face of this plot, while we in the audience do not laugh because it is not nice to laugh at those less fortunate than ourselves, and the people in this movie are less fortunate than the people in just about any other movie I can think of, simply because they are in it.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Although the movie may appeal to kids in the lower grades, it's pretty slow, flat and dumb.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Shameless in its use of mental retardation as a gimmick, a prop and a plot device. Anyone with any knowledge of retardation is likely to find the film offensive.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Supplies us with a first-class creature, a fourth-rate story, and dialogue possibly created by feeding the screenplay into a pasta maker.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Anything that holds our interest can be entertaining, in a way, but the movie seems to have an unwholesome determination to show us the victims being terrified and threatened. When I left the screening, I just didn't feel right.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    So ludicrous in so many different ways it achieves a kind of forlorn grandeur.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Your Highness is a juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of 11-year-old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot, boobs and four-letter words.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A movie, based on the popular Dean Koontz novel, that seems to have been made by grinding up other films and feeding them to this one.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    I'm Gonna Git You Sucka is a comedy that feeds off the blaxploitation movies, and although, like all good satires, it is cheerfully willing to be offensive, it is almost completely incapable of being funny.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    To call A Lot like Love dead in the water is an insult to water.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    This is an ungainly movie, ill-fitting, with its elbows sticking out where the knees should be. To quote another ancient proverb, "A camel is a horse designed by a committee." Life or Something Like It is the movie designed by the camel.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Staying Alive is a big disappointment.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    House of the Sleeping Beauties has missed its ideal release window by about 40 years. It might -- might -- have found an audience in that transitional period between soft- and hard-core.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A deserted island movie during which I desperately wished the characters had chosen one movie to take along if they were stranded on a deserted island, and were showing it to us instead of this one.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A lame-brained, outdated wheeze about a couple of good ol' boys who roar around the back roads of the South in the General Lee, their beloved 1969 Dodge Charger.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Renaissance Man is a labored, unconvincing comedy that seems cobbled together out of the half-understood remnants of its betters.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A very bad movie and a genuinely moving experience.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The Twilight Saga: New Moon takes the tepid achievement of "Twilight" (1988), guts it, and leaves it for undead.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Sandler is making a tactical error when he creates a character whose manner and voice has the effect of fingernails on a blackboard, and then expects us to hang in there for a whole movie.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    In asking us to believe David Spade as a romantic lead, it miscalculates beyond all reason.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie is so choppy in its nervous editing that a lot of the time we're simply watching senseless kinetic action.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    It has no edge, no hunger to be better than it is. It ambles pleasantly through its inanity, like a guest happy to be at a boring party.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    All concept and no content.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Isn't a bad movie, just a reprehensible one. It presents as comedy things that are not amusing. If you think this movie is funny, that tells me things about you I don't want to know.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A garage sale of gay issues, harnessed to a plot as exhausted as a junkman's horse.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Her dad was right about one thing. Something terrible did happen to her (Duff) in Los Angeles. She made this movie.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    There are scenes here where Breillat deliberately disgusts us, not because we are disgusted by the natural life functions of women, as she implies, but simply because The Woman does things that would make any reasonable Man, or Woman, for that matter, throw up.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Now I am faced with this movie, the most anticlimactic non-event since Geraldo Rivera broke into Al Capone's vault.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    "Deep Rising" was one of the worst movies of 1998. Virus is easily worse.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    It is depressing to reflect on the wealth of talent that conspired to make this inert and listless movie.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Part 2 seems even more like a Stallone vehicle than the first movie. I'm not even sure it's intended as a comedy. It's filled wall to wall with the kind of routine action and violence that Hollywood extrudes by the yard and shrink-wraps to order.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    So concerned with being a film that it forgets to be a movie.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    An astonishingly bad movie, and the most astonishing thing about it comes in the credits: Written by Elaine May, Warren Beatty, Chris Rock, Lance Crouther, Ali LeRoi and Louis CK. These are credits that deserve a place in the Writers Hall of Fame.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie is "Dawn of the Dead" crossed with "John Carpenter's "Ghosts of Mars," with zombies not as ghoulish as the first and trains not as big as the second. The movie does however have Milla Jovovich and Michelle Rodriguez.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The physical look of the picture is splendid. The screenplay is dead on arrival. The noise level is torture.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    It’s badly written and inertly directed, with actors who don’t have a clue what drives their characters. This is one of those rare films that contains no chemistry at all. None. The actors scarcely seem to be in the same scenes together.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    In a film that is wall-to-wall idiocy, the most tiresome delusion is that car chases are funny.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie should be praying to St. Jude, patron saint of lost causes. Maybe he could perform a miracle and turn this into a cable offering, so no one has to buy a ticket to see it.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A colossal miscalculation, a movie based on a premise that cannot support it, a premise so transparent it would be laughable were the movie not so deadly solemn. It's a flimsy excuse for a plot, with characters who move below the one-dimensional and enter Flatland.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    With style and energy from the actors, with every sign of self-confidence from the director, with pictures that were in focus and dialogue that you could hear, the movie descended into a morass of narrative quicksand. By the end, I wanted to do cruel and vicious things to the screenplay.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    I want to escape, Oh, Muddah Faddah -- Life's too short for cinematic torture.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Some movies are no better than second-rate sitcoms. Other movies are no better than third-rate sitcoms. The Back-up Plan doesn't deserve comparison with sitcoms. It plays like an unendurable TV commercial about beautiful people with great lifestyles and not a thought in their empty little heads.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Monotonous, repetitive and sometimes wildly wrong in what it hopes is funny.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Doesn't have anything wrong with it that couldn't be fixed by adding Ebenezer Scrooge and Bad Santa to the cast. It's a holiday movie of stunning awfulness that gets even worse when it turns gooey at the end.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The target audience for Phantasm II obviously is teenagers, especially those with abbreviated attention spans, who require a thrill a minute. No character development, logic or subtlety is necessary, just a sensation every now and again to provide the impression that something is happening on the screen.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie is astonishingly simple-minded, depicting characters who obediently perform their assigned roles as adulterers, cuckolds, etc.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    V/H/S is an example of the genre at its least compelling.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    One regards Reign of Fire with awe. What a vast enterprise has been marshaled in the service of such a minute idea. Incredulity is our companion, and it is twofold: We cannot believe what happens in the movie, and we cannot believe that the movie was made.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    It's the worst kind of bad film: the kind that gets you all worked up and then lets you down, instead of just being lousy from the first shot.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    New Year's Eve is a dreary plod through the sands of time until finally the last grain has trickled through the hourglass of cinematic sludge. How is it possible to assemble more than two dozen stars in a movie and find nothing interesting for any of them to do?
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    I am so very, very tired of movies like this. Does the story line strike you as original? It sounds to me like another slice off the cheesecake of dreck.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Will I seem hopelessly square if I find Kick-Ass morally reprehensible and will I appear to have missed the point? Let’s say you’re a big fan of the original comic book, and you think the move does it justice. You know what? You inhabit a world I am so very not interested in.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Stargate is like a film school exercise. Assignment: Conceive of the weirdest plot you can think of, and reduce it as quickly as possible to action movie cliches.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Here is the dirty movie of the year, slimy and scummy, and among its casualties is poor Jessica Alba, who is a cutie and shouldn't have been let out to play with these boys.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    From what dark night of the soul emerged the wretched idea for The Nutcracker in 3D? Who considered it even remotely a plausible idea for a movie?
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The director, whose name is Pitof, was probably issued with two names at birth and would be wise to use the other one on his next project.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The movie doesn't understand that embarrassment comes in a sudden painful flush of realization; drag it out, and it's not embarrassment anymore, but public humiliation, which is a different condition, and not funny.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    During the course of Failure to Launch, characters are bitten by a chipmunk, a dolphin, a lizard and a mockingbird. I am thinking my hardest why this is considered funny, and I confess defeat.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Mired in a plot of such stupidity.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Passes off pathological behavior as romantic bliss. It's about two sick and twisted people playing mind games and calling it love.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    So strong, so shocking and yet so audacious that people walk out shaking their heads; they don't know quite what to make of it.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The screenplay reads like a collaboration between Jekyll and Hyde.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Watching Doom is like visiting Vegas and never leaving your hotel room.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    There have been articles lately asking why the United States is so hated in some parts of the world. As this week's Exhibit A from Hollywood, I offer Zoolander.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Myers has made some funny movies, but this film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Utterly clueless about its tone and has no idea how relentlessly it is undercutting itself. By the time we arrive at the obligatory happy ending, which is perfunctory and automatic, I felt sort of insulted. If Chandrasekhar thinks his audience will laugh at his vulgarity, why does he believe it requires a feel-good ending?
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A perfectly good idea for a comedy, but it just plain doesn't work. It's dead in the water. I can imagine it working well in a different time, with a different cast, in black and white instead of color--but I can't imagine it working like this.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The screenplay is so murky, indeed, that I was never sure whether the Kids hated the Hitler Youth lads because they were Nazis, or simply because they didn't swing.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A flat and peculiar film.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Here is the most uncomfortable movie of the new year, an exercise in feel-good smut.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A terrible movie, sappy and dead in the water.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Stupefying dimwitted.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Here is a movie that will do for cheerleading what "Friday the 13th" did for summer camp.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Weekend at Bernie’s makes two mistakes: It gives us a joke that isn’t very funny, and it expects the joke to carry an entire movie.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A fog of gloom lowers over The Whole Ten Yards, as actors who know they're in a turkey try their best to prevail.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    No Such Thing is inexplicable, shapeless, dull. It doesn't even rise to entertaining badness.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    No one in the movie has a morsel of intelligence. They all seem to be channeling more successful characters in better comedies. This would be touching if it were not so desperate.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    An almost unendurable demonstration of a movie with nothing to be about.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Like a cocky teenager who's had a couple of drinks before the party, they don't have a plan for who they want to offend, only an intention to be as offensive as possible.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    I see so little there: It is all remembered rote work, used to conceal old tricks, facile name-calling, the loss of hope, and emptiness.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Desperately unfunny.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    This film is about violence. All violence. Wall-to-wall violence. Against many of those walls, heads are pounded again and again into a pulpy mass. If I estimated the film has 10 minutes of dialogue, that would be generous.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    I realized there was no hope for the movie because the plot and characters had alienated me beyond repair. If an audience is going to be entertained by a film, first they have to be able to stand it.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A sad-sack movie about the misery of a married couple who fight most of the time. Watching it is like taking a long trip in a small car with the Bickersons.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The really good superhero movies, like "Superman," "SpiderMan 2" and "Batman Begins," leave Fantastic Four so far behind that the movie should almost be ashamed to show itself in the same theaters.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    One of those movies that never convince you its stories are really happening.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    These actors, alas, are at the service of a submoronic script and special effects that look like a video game writ large.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A fourth-rate "Pulp Fiction" with accents you can't understand.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Any plot discipline (necessary so that we care about some characters and not the others) has been lost in an orgy of special effects and general mayhem.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Has the added inconvenience of being dreadfully serious about a plot so preposterous, it demands to be filmed by Monty Python.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A lame and labored comedy.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Scrooged is one of the most disquieting, unsettling films to come along in quite some time. It was obviously intended as a comedy, but there is little comic about it, and indeed the movie's overriding emotions seem to be pain and anger.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    It alternates between graphic, explicit sex scenes and murder scenes of brutal cruelty. You recoil from what's on the screen.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    Assembles the building blocks of idiot-proof slasher movies: Stings, Snicker-Snacks, false alarms and point-of-view baits-and-switches.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    The Grandma is not merely wrong for the movie, but fatal to it -- a writing and casting disaster... I've been reviewing movies for a long time, and I can't think of one that more dramatically shoots itself in the foot.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    An idea is not enough for a movie. Characters have to be developed, comic situations have to be set up before they can pay off and the story should have a conclusion instead of a dead stop. Real Life fails in all of those areas -- fails so miserably that it lets its audiences down.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    I stared at A Nightmare on Elm Street with weary resignation. The movie consists of a series of teenagers who are introduced, haunted by nightmares and then slashed to death by Freddy. So what? Are we supposed to be scared?
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    I found the movie a long, unfunny slog through an impenetrable plot. Kids might like it.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A horrible mess of a movie, without shape, trajectory or purpose--a one joke movie, if it had one joke.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Roger Ebert
    A dreary experience.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Here's a science-fiction film that's an insult to the words "science" and "fiction," and the hyphen in between them. You want to cut it up to clean under your fingernails.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    It's an arch, awkward, ill-timed, forced political comedy set in 1959 and seemingly stranded there.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    It is a "thriller" without thrills, constructed in a meaningless jumble of flashbacks and flash-forwards and subtitles and mottos and messages and scenes that are deconstructed, reconstructed and self-destructed. I wanted to signal the projectionist to put a gun to it.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    It is an assault on all the senses, including common. Walking out, I had the impression I had just seen the video game and was still waiting for the movie.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    The movie has three tones: overwrought, boring, laughable.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Six has now made a film deliberately intended to inspire incredulity, nausea and hopefully outrage. It's being booked as a midnight movie, and is it ever. Boozy fanboys will treat it like a thrill ride.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Jarmusch is making some kind of a point. I think the point is that if you strip a story down to its bare essentials, you will have very little left. I wonder how he pitched this idea to his investors.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    An incoherent mess, a jumble of footage in search of plot, meaning, rhythm and sense.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    One element of Sorority Boys is undeniably good, and that is the title. Pause by the poster on the way into the theater. That will be your high point.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    So bad in so many different ways that perhaps you should see it, as an example of the lowest slopes of the bell-shaped curve.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Dreadful...Maybe another 200 cigarettes would have helped; coughing would be better than some of this dialogue.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Josie and the Pussycats are not dumber than the Spice Girls, but they're as dumb as the Spice Girls, which is dumb enough.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    A dead zone of comedy. The concept is exhausted, the ideas are tired, the physical gags are routine, the story is labored, the actors look like they can barely contain their doubts about the project.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    A vanity production beyond all reason. I am not sure, however, than the vanity is Dylan's. I don't have any idea what to think about him.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is one of the more empty, pointless, baffling films I can remember, and the experience of viewing it is an exercise in nothingness.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Not that the film is outrageous. That would be asking too much. It is dim-witted, unfunny, too shallow to be offensive.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Not bad so much as inexplicable. You watch in puzzlement: How did this train wreck happen?
    • 9 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Awful in so many different ways.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    The film has the obnoxious tone of a boring home movie narrated by a guy shouting in your ear.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    An utterly meaningless waste of time...It is a dead zone, a film without interest, wit, imagination or even entertaining violence and special effects.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    The movie is a chaotic mess, overloaded with special effects and explosions, light on continuity, sanity and coherence.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    It's a movie without a brain. Charlie's Angels is like the trailer for a video game movie, lacking only the video game, and the movie.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    A truly dreadful film, a lifeless, massive, lumbering exercise in failed comedy. Elaine May, the director, has mounted a multimillion-dollar expedition in search of a plot so thin that it hardly could support a five-minute TV sketch.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    The very soul of sophomorism. It is callow, gauche, obvious and awkward, and designed to appeal to those with similar qualities.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    It goes through the motions of an action thriller, but there is a deadness at its center, a feeling that no one connected with it loved what they were doing.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    This is a dishonest, quease-inducing "comedy" that had me feeling uneasy and then unclean. Who in the world read this script and thought it was acceptable?
    • 29 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Through superhuman effort of the will, I did not walk out of The Hot Chick, but reader, I confess I could not sit through the credits.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    To make a film this awful, you have to have enormous ambition and confidence, and dream big dreams.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    As faithful readers will know, I have a few cult followers who enjoy my reviews of bad movies. These have been collected in the books "I Hated, Hated, Hated, HATED This Movie"; "Your Movie Sucks," and "A Horrible Experience of Unendurable Length." This movie is so bad, it couldn't even inspire a review worthy of one of those books. I have my standards.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    They're so detached they can't even successfully lip-synch their own songs.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    Jason X sucks on the levels of storytelling, character development, suspense, special effects, originality, punctuation, neatness and aptness of thought. Only its title works.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    A comedy so listless, leisurely and unspirited that it was an act of the will for me to care about it, even while I was watching it.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    An ideal first movie for infants, who can enjoy the bright colors on the screen and wave their tiny hands to the music.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 12 Roger Ebert
    The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    What a strange, confused, unpleasant movie this is. Two theories have clustered around it: (1) It is anti-Mormon propaganda to muddy the waters around the presidential campaign of Mitt Romney, or (2) it is not about Mormons at all, but an allegory about the 9/11/01 terrorists. Take your choice. The problem with allegories is that you can plug them in anywhere. No doubt the film would have great impact in Darfur.
    • 1 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    Chaos is ugly, nihilistic, and cruel -- a film I regret having seen. I urge you to avoid it.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    The secrets of the plot must remain unrevealed by me, so that you can be offended by them yourself, but let it be said this movie is about as corrupt, intellectually bankrupt and morally dishonest as it could possibly be without David Gale actually hiring himself out as a joker at the court of Saddam Hussein.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    A contemptible film: Vile, ugly and brutal. There is not a shred of a reason to see it.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    The film is reprehensible, dismaying, ugly, artless and an affront to any notion, however remote, of human decency.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    There is a line and this movie crosses it. I don't know where the line is, but it's way north of Wolf Creek. There is a role for violence in film, but what the hell is the purpose of this sadistic celebration of pain and cruelty?
    • 12 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    A dirty movie. Not a sexy, erotic, steamy or even smutty movie, but a just plain dirty movie. It made me feel unclean, and I'm the guy who liked "There's Something About Mary" and both "American Pie" movies.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    If there's anything worse than a punch line that doesn't work, it's a movie that doesn't even bother to put the punch lines in.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    This despicable remake of the despicable 1978 film "I Spit on Your Grave" adds yet another offense: a phony moral equivalency.
    • 9 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    Dirty Love wasn't written and directed, it was committed. Here is a film so pitiful, it doesn't rise to the level of badness. It is hopelessly incompetent.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 0 Roger Ebert
    There is a bright spot. He (Poirier) used up all his doggy-do-do ideas in the first picture "See Spot Run."

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