For 273 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 42% higher than the average critic
  • 8% same as the average critic
  • 50% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 8.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 52
Highest review score: 100 Dragon Inn (1967)
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 86 out of 273
273 movie reviews
    • 58 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Everything matters in Cronenberg's Cosmopolis, but not everything is necessarily the same as DeLillo's book. And that makes the film, as a series of discussions about inter-related money-minded contradictions, insanely rich and maddeningly complex. We can't wait to rewatch it.
    • 97 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Dragon Inn is a romantic action film, but it still feels modern thanks to Hu's strict focus on action. I don't just mean the film's relentless series of fight scenes. Hu's film is all about movement.
    • 86 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    This 43-year-old filmmaker is a major talent. Though he may not be the second coming of Fellini, his films all have a funny, refreshingly complex perspective, and his latest work is a perfect example of why he is the next big Italian thing.
    • 90 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Warped keyhole-size images stack atop one another in a Frankenstein-ian collage that evokes the films of Terrence Malick, David Lynch, Stan Brakhage, and Bruce Conner. Seeing "the years [slip] out of [Bill's] head" in this 71-minute compendium is nothing short of revelatory.
    • 90 Metascore
    • 90 Simon Abrams
    Ronit's remarkable sensitivity makes Gett a tough but essential melodrama.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 90 Simon Abrams
    Xu (The Sword Identity) may not be a household name, but The Final Master proves that he's the next big thing in martial-arts cinema.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 90 Simon Abrams
    The makers of Black Souls, a superior Italian gangster movie, deserve praise for executing with atypical sensitivity a generic times-are-changing/nostalgia-for-an-imaginary-chivalrous-yesteryear scenario.
    • 90 Metascore
    • 90 Simon Abrams
    Yang's anti-nostalgic slice of 1960s Taipei life suggests a Tolstoy-size expansion of the ballads from Bruce Springsteen's Darkness on the Edge of Town.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 90 Simon Abrams
    Haunted by death-obsessed men of action, Un Flic (A Cop) is a fitting final act for noir master Jean-Pierre Melville
    • 69 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The Mermaid will make you laugh. It doesn't matter if you don't like subtitles. It doesn't matter if you've never heard of the director. It doesn't matter if you've never seen a Chinese movie in your life. It will make you laugh. Guaranteed.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    No, what's most disquieting about It Follows is the way it presents sex as neither abnormal, nor beneficial.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Cave's soulful performance, shot in real-time and in extreme close-up, is that much more impressive once you realize he's playing a song for Forsyth and Pollard before he's performed it in front of a live audience.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The premise of My Big Night is fine, but the film's execution is what really sells it.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The Witch, a feminist narrative that focuses on an American colonial family as they undergo what seems to be an otherworldly curse, is more like a sermon.
    • 87 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    My Golden Days exists simultaneously within and outside of its characters' headspace, a testament to Deplechin's powers of imaginative sensitivity.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    So while Cheatin' does have a narrative spine, it's most entertaining when it's hardest to pin down.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Something like a trippy grindhouse homage whose familiar images are refracted through a prism of blacklight posters, Jodorowsky films, and even Rob Zombie's grungy psychotropic sensibility.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Body feels downright old-fashioned: a thriller with tension that doesn't stem from gore, jump scares, or other cheap shock tactics, but rather a creeping dread that grows with each red herring, and slow-burn plot twist.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Don't let the tacky American-friendly title of Kill Zone 2 fool you: the martial arts genre's next big thing is here, and it is way meaner, more technically accomplished, and more exciting than its disappointing marketing strategy implies.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    People are not good or bad in The Cut — they are subject to violent whims, and rarely given fair opportunities to defend themselves. The Cut can therefore be seen as a historical corrective.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Several of To's recent films concern economic upheaval and its effect on personal relationships, but Office is one of his recent best because it makes something as dire as a financial crisis seem like a natural subject for a modern musical.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    An irrepressibly charming B-movie that never over-stays its welcome, and is both conceptually clever and admirably well-executed.
    • 86 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The film's flintiness and initially subdued nastiness set it apart from most other action films about the thin line separating cops from crooks.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Japanese poet and cult filmmaker Shion Sono defines himself as an anti-establishment artist partly out of cynicism and partly thanks to his romantic concept of libertarianism.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Best of all: you don't have to wait until a concluding set piece for To to prove his prowess as a storyteller.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 83 Simon Abrams
    The Lords of Salem is a product of Zombie’s better creative impulses, so it’s ok that it also features several of his worse indulgences, too.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Like a great amusement park ride, Shaun the Sheep Movie is consistently enjoyable.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Call Me Lucky is a loving but fair portrait of the artist as a heroic hothead.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    You may not leave Sunshine Superman wanting to emulate Carl and Jean, but you will feel like you've vicariously bonded with them.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Doomsdays is winsome because it embraces its narcissistic subjects without asking viewers to forget that they've just befriended a couple of selfish dillholes.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Bitterly funny gambling comedy Mississippi Grind transcends its generic lovable-losers-on-a-bender plot by foregrounding exceptionally well-developed skid-row protagonists and weirdly charming dive-bar ambiance.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Yeon's patient direction and clever plot twists make Seok-woo's transformation from selfish antihero into brave caregiver consistently compelling.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    Sunada's critical distance makes Kingdom of Dreams and Madness the clear-eyed celebration that Ghibli's artists deserve.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    An emotionally generous and expansively detailed romantic fantasy.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Faults is a richly-textured movie that concerns the weird space between thinking you know what you're doing, and actually knowing what you're doing.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Love may not always be enjoyable, but it leaves an abiding mark.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    This is a film noir that is, despite some jittery, Tony Scott-esque action sequences, so cool, that you will leave it begging for a sequel.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    South Korean horror-mystery hybrid The Wailing crosses that line several times, but somehow remains effectively atmospheric.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    R100 is, consequently, a comedy that tries to alienate you by suggesting that escapism is futile, all things inevitably devolve, and nothing inherently means anything.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    This is a comedy that encourages viewers to be impulsive, and pointedly seek love and acceptance outside of "normal" social institutions, especially when it comes to family and romance.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It’s a series of comedic sketches about people who are too self-involved to empathize with each other. It’s also a plaintively blunt wake-up call, and an effective demand for viewers' vigilant sensitivity.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The film will only work for you if you expect it not to make sense, and enjoy jokes that go on and on and then suddenly (and repeatedly) jack-knife off a cliff or two.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    While most other films sprint through expository dialogue, and bluster their way through action scenes, The Last Witch Hunter is measured enough to make you want to suspend your disbelief.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A very good film, but only if you're willing to inevitably submit to its anarchic sensibility.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A sleepy, but pleasantly surprising action-adventure, Ragnarok is the rare Spielberg clone that feels like it was made by people that not only know what they like about Spielberg's films, but are capable of evoking them.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Aat some point, every character in Youth falls out of love with the way of seeing the world. That kind of anti-epiphany is major—not on a universal, but rather a personal scale.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    As gory as it is corrosively cynical, a supernatural mood piece that's equally influenced by the arthouse horror movies of David Lynch and Roman Polanski, and the grindhouse-ready Satanic Panic films of the '70s, like "To the Devil a Daughter," and "The Devil Rides out."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's an anti-romantic biography about a great artist, one whose central themes are basic, but whose energy and execution is irresistible.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Watching Douglas behave like a narcissistic scumbag is an absolute pleasure, one in which viewers of action-adventure Beyond the Reach can happily indulge.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The movie is so consistently moody, and so focused on driving you towards a gut-punch finale, that even valid complaints seem negligible in retrospect.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Tokyo Tribe, an adaptation of a popular Japanese manga, is bound to charm viewers — both the uninitiated and the diehard fans of director Sion Sono ("Why Don't You Play in Hell," "Love Exposure") — with its boundless energy ... for a while, anyway.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    So if you're wondering if you should see He Never Died or not, consider how much time you want to spend in Rollins's company. He proves himself to be as charming as a younger Arnold Schwarzenegger, but his appeal is just as limited.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Green Inferno is not exactly a feel-good film, but it gets a very particular job done.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    More about ambience than narrative progress, so if you don't like these kinds of characters (ie: hippy-dippy aesthetes), the film will drive you up a wall.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    This movie's makers haven't met a formula cliché that they don't like.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Just watch 11 Minutes like you're channel-surfing, only you don't have the remote and the roar of static between stations is steadily growing louder as the channels switch back-and-forth, faster and faster.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    As It Is in Heaven ultimately doesn't go anywhere unexpected, but it does foster a potent, unexpected bond between its subjects and its audience.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Let the Bullets Fly is an intentionally overheated and very funny comedy about how the best-laid plans tend to fall apart in spectacular fashion.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Rarely goes so far over the top that it loses you completely. It is, to put it mildly, not subtle. But if you watch it expecting to see a dumb idea executed with appreciable skill, you'll have a blast.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Witching and Bitching is accordingly overlong, and conceptually thin. But like most of de la Iglesia's films, it's also freakishly energetic, and often hysterical.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    An uneven but satisfying hostage crisis thriller that is also a perfect example of the type of late-period films martial arts star Jackie Chan has decided to make after entering middle age.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's uneven, and more than a little mystifying, but Rigor Mortis is also a bittersweet coda to a deliriously silly series of films.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's a confrontational fever dream film told from constantly shifting perspectives, and a chilly, dizzying trip into a genre defined by violently conflicting emotions.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It is also the post-punk writer/director Sion Sono's most accessible film: a middle-aged filmmaker's tribute to the kind of epic-sized gangster-romance he used to fantasize about making.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's also genuinely warm and involving because of the participation of everyone from Carmen Vega, Giger's widow, to Sandra Berretta, Giger's former assistant and self-described "life partner." The film is, in that sense, an effective memorial, one filmed after Giger himself admitted that he had said all he wanted to say in his art.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A visually impressive mix of hand-drawn and CGI animation with basic action-adventure elements that are always viscerally satisfying thanks to Hosoda's apparent warts-and-all love for humanity.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Baskin does what many horror films try and fail to do: it makes you feel like you're a passive prisoner/spectator, watching as an especially vivid nightmare unfolds.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    I can't think of another recent domestic drama that is simultaneously so optimistic and so melancholic.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Hark's new film is a consummately bizarre crowd-pleaser that throws everything at the viewer from makeshift plastic surgery by acupuncture to death by spontaneous combustion.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    A worthy documentary tribute to the drag queen icon.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Stone-faced martial-arts star Donnie Yen does a lot with a little in wuxia weepy Ip Man 3, the rare kung fu film whose sentimental dialogue scenes are just as good as its stripped-down action sequences.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Memories of the Sword stands apart from other action films because Park wisely imagines violence as an elemental clash of dispositions.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    You've seen neo-noirs like this before, but you probably haven't had this much fun with a modern B movie in a while.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Come for Ku's joyful choreography, stay for Yen's most memorable post-comeback performance.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    The Taking of Tiger Mountain may not always be as grand as it should be, but its thrills compensate for its shortcomings.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Chashme Baddoor's modest charms dissipate quickly, but they're certainly real.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Piers McGrail's nuanced, moody cinematography brings out the best in writer-director Ivan Kavanagh's over-mannered but effectively creepy ghost story.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Superior found-footage horror film Creep tellingly loses steam after it stops being a rote but tense game of chicken between a normcore derangoid (he likes hikes, hugs, and pancakes) and his wary victim.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Barely Lethal's combination of bawdy humor and earnest affection for its high-school-aged protagonists is surprisingly well-balanced.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Dany's mystery may ultimately go one twist too far. But until then, viewers can easily lose themselves while daydreaming about a French dame in distress with bad luck and an alluring look.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Boss is that rare Bollywood action film whose stars are worthy of the pedestal they're put on.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    First-time director Stiles White's effective use of long takes and director of photography David Emmerichs's wide-angle digital cinematography make an otherwise generic teen ghost story unexpectedly atmospheric.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Documentary character study Kung Fu Elliot starts off as a cringe-humor portrait of a delusional would-be action star, but gradually transforms into a thoughtful examination of its title character's naïveté.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Instead of over-glorifying their shared past, Ericsson pays loving tribute to what remains of his subjects' relationship.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Thank You for Playing transforms a father's confession into a revealing work of art.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Yakusho's breathless, riveting performance grounds The World of Kanako even as it threatens to devolve into an unbearable series of nihilistic plot twists and gory set pieces.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    I want to recommend Nelson's film in spite of how misconceived it is simply because it asks interesting questions, albeit in some of the most banal ways imaginable.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Novel enough to be worth the price of admission, but you'll think twice before getting back in line for a second visit.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Thor: The Dark World's characters are often very charming, but they're only so much fun when they're stuck going through the motions.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    You have to take the bad with the good here: Green Room may be too schematic to fully capture the essence of its characters' groddy milieu, but it's also economically paced, and gorgeous.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Hardcore Henry is like a good roller-coaster in that it does not require a complex reason to be: it's there, it's fun, you ride it, and that's about it.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The good news barely outweighs the bad in Dracula Untold, a lightweight war-adventure that is ultimately stranger and more enticing when it remembers it's also a horror film.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    I've never participated in Blackout, but based on The Blackout Experiments, I can tell you that it's an intense, aggressively confrontational and deeply disturbing recreational experience.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Visually splendid, but generically flat-footed, Song of the Sea is an animated fantasy that comes close to greatness, but is rarely as clever as it is comforting.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Extraterrestrial never settles into a groove, and therefore never becomes more than a collection of effectively icky scenes.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Once Haunter's story snaps into focus, and its creators pull you towards its inevitable conclusion, the film's flaws become that much more apparent.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Ultimately, Beneath is better than your average Roger Corman clone because it is more serious than trivial.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    There is, in other words, nothing new in Hellions that you can't get already in earlier, more ambitious horror films. But McDonald delivers an effective thrice-told tale, and he does it with enough avant garde flair to show viewers that temper their expectations a good time.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    While some of the film's wide emotional turns—from over-caffeinated road movie to magically-realistic melodrama and back again—are not handled with care, the film is more than the sum of its unequal parts.

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