For 104 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 31% higher than the average critic
  • 14% same as the average critic
  • 55% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 12.3 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 47
Highest review score: 100 The Great Beauty
Lowest review score: 0 But Always
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 33 out of 104
  2. Negative: 38 out of 104
104 movie reviews
    • 58 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Everything matters in Cronenberg's Cosmopolis, but not everything is necessarily the same as DeLillo's book. And that makes the film, as a series of discussions about inter-related money-minded contradictions, insanely rich and maddeningly complex. We can't wait to rewatch it.
    • 86 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    This 43-year-old filmmaker is a major talent. Though he may not be the second coming of Fellini, his films all have a funny, refreshingly complex perspective, and his latest work is a perfect example of why he is the next big Italian thing.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 90 Simon Abrams
    Haunted by death-obsessed men of action, Un Flic (A Cop) is a fitting final act for noir master Jean-Pierre Melville
    • 75 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Japanese poet and cult filmmaker Shion Sono defines himself as an anti-establishment artist partly out of cynicism and partly thanks to his romantic concept of libertarianism.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Something like a trippy grindhouse homage whose familiar images are refracted through a prism of blacklight posters, Jodorowsky films, and even Rob Zombie's grungy psychotropic sensibility.
    • 86 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The film's flintiness and initially subdued nastiness set it apart from most other action films about the thin line separating cops from crooks.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Cave's soulful performance, shot in real-time and in extreme close-up, is that much more impressive once you realize he's playing a song for Forsyth and Pollard before he's performed it in front of a live audience.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 83 Simon Abrams
    The Lords of Salem is a product of Zombie’s better creative impulses, so it’s ok that it also features several of his worse indulgences, too.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    An emotionally generous and expansively detailed romantic fantasy.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Hark's new film is a consummately bizarre crowd-pleaser that throws everything at the viewer from makeshift plastic surgery by acupuncture to death by spontaneous combustion.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Let the Bullets Fly is an intentionally overheated and very funny comedy about how the best-laid plans tend to fall apart in spectacular fashion.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Rarely goes so far over the top that it loses you completely. It is, to put it mildly, not subtle. But if you watch it expecting to see a dumb idea executed with appreciable skill, you'll have a blast.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    More about ambience than narrative progress, so if you don't like these kinds of characters (ie: hippy-dippy aesthetes), the film will drive you up a wall.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's uneven, and more than a little mystifying, but Rigor Mortis is also a bittersweet coda to a deliriously silly series of films.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Witching and Bitching is accordingly overlong, and conceptually thin. But like most of de la Iglesia's films, it's also freakishly energetic, and often hysterical.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    As It Is in Heaven ultimately doesn't go anywhere unexpected, but it does foster a potent, unexpected bond between its subjects and its audience.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A sleepy, but pleasantly surprising action-adventure, Ragnarok is the rare Spielberg clone that feels like it was made by people that not only know what they like about Spielberg's films, but are capable of evoking them.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's a confrontational fever dream film told from constantly shifting perspectives, and a chilly, dizzying trip into a genre defined by violently conflicting emotions.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The movie is so consistently moody, and so focused on driving you towards a gut-punch finale, that even valid complaints seem negligible in retrospect.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    A worthy documentary tribute to the drag queen icon.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Boss is that rare Bollywood action film whose stars are worthy of the pedestal they're put on.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Come for Ku's joyful choreography, stay for Yen's most memorable post-comeback performance.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Instead of over-glorifying their shared past, Ericsson pays loving tribute to what remains of his subjects' relationship.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Fassbinder's sumptuous 205-minute epic is intriguing as a prototype for later and more palatably cynical sci-fi standards like "Blade Runner" or even "Total Recall."
    • 40 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Ultimately, Beneath is better than your average Roger Corman clone because it is more serious than trivial.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The filmmakers fall over themselves trying to respect Man's outlook on life, and this makes their subject seem more like a hyper-disciplined saint than a world-reknowned, ass-kicking hermit.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Once Haunter's story snaps into focus, and its creators pull you towards its inevitable conclusion, the film's flaws become that much more apparent.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Thor: The Dark World's characters are often very charming, but they're only so much fun when they're stuck going through the motions.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    It's as visually indistinct and paint-by-numbers-plot-driven as most Marvel Comics-based projects, especially the gaggle of recent Avengers-related films.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The film's relentlessly quirky style of comedy is consequently very self-conscious. Every joke in Ping Pong Summer is a variation on a theme: 1985 was the most awkward time to be alive.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Novel enough to be worth the price of admission, but you'll think twice before getting back in line for a second visit.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    Despite its title, Drew: The Man Behind the Poster is not a documentary about movie poster artist Drew Struzan. Instead, Struzan's poster art is the film's real subject.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 58 Simon Abrams
    Post Tenebras Lux is certainly unique, but Reygadas is often intensely more interested in provoking his audience than actually fleshing out his heady ideas.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Deepsea Challenge has too little interest in anything that's not Cameron's personal experience.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    In spite of its conspicuously crude sense of humor, Delhi Belly is much more family-minded and innocent than it would like its young target audience to believe.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    It's refreshing to see Shark Night 3D director David R. Ellis try to pull off a semi-sincere second-generation "Jaws" rip-off, even if he doesn't quite succeed.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Puncture's story only moves forward thanks to Evans's charm. But a good lead performance can't single-handedly save thin material.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The film is an 80-minute shaggy-dog story about the seductive power of storytelling and the weird places it can transport us; too bad writer- director Todd Rohal doesn't take us any place worth going.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The brutality of Tyrannosaur isn't so over the top as to make director Paddy Considine's sympathy for his flawed characters look like a sham. But it does frequently bring his film's seesawing exploration of blue-collar existence to the brink of collapse.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    James Murphy never says that his music will sound different after LCD Soundsystem disbands, so why fearfully anticipate a change that we don't even know is coming?
    • 76 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Mud
    Mud is as unmoving as it is because it doesn’t aspire to be anything other than a competent anti-fairy tale in which the paint-by-number morals are enforced by equally obvious main protagonists.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Wiig really shines in the film, proving that her finely honed comic timing can make a character work even when the film ultimately doesn't.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Thérèse never goes beyond that level of psychological complexity because after a point, Miller and Carter aren't interested in exploring the murky depths of Thérèse 's feelings.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Like bad houseguests, the creators of Hell Baby overstay their welcome.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    A puzzle movie with too many unnecessary pieces and not enough essential ones, but it's superior to its predecessor in a few basic ways.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Watching Campbell over her shoulder or in a mirror is frustrating because it consistently limits our view of her character. Porterfield's people can't give anything away beyond their immediate aggression, frustration, and sadness. But it's hard to appreciate an intentionally blurry portrait of a family that's so impressionistic that all you can see of its already-withdrawn characters are their shadows.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The film's biggest problem is a matter of tone and characterization: the characters constantly talk about how mean they can be, but their actions suggest otherwise.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Unfortunately, Afflicted is as emotionally involving as a really accomplished special-effects sizzle reel.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The film's retro, John Carpenter-esque synthesizer score, composed by Jeff Grace, further pushes viewers away.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    So weak on a basic storytelling level that it makes you want to nitpick everything about it, from characters' generically illogical decisions (ex: Why are you running towards mounted guns?) to its cheap-looking, jiggly hand-held cinematography.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Tusk is bearable thanks in no small part to its game cast, particularly character actor Michael Parks's Vincent Price-esque baddy.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 42 Simon Abrams
    Even with so many talented actors involved, there’s nothing really galvanizing or particularly provocative about Redford’s latest.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    By inexpertly filtering her art through her travails, Wood and Altunaga reimagine Parra's suicide as an explicable conclusion to her turbulent life.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Mistaken for Strangers doesn't reveal anything about Tom but his own insecurity.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Rock-dumb Hong Kong thriller That Demon Within is exhausting, and only sometimes batshit enough to be engaging.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    More enervating than it is ambitious, Jake Squared is partly a romantic comedy and mostly a pseudo-philosophical apology for self-absorption.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Any movie is improved at least 10 percent by the presence of Scottish actor Brian Cox, even mushy sports drama Believe.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The Good Doctor isn't a ponderous bore because Blake isn't a strictly good or bad character: It sucks because he isn't even a compelling character.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Khumba is disastrously uninspired. Not even a galaxy of stars, united in their willingness to take a check, can save Khumba from being the boringest plucky outsider of all.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Blood Glacier is too sleepy to do anything with its guano-stirring premise. Yes, there are crazy-go-nutty monsters in the film, but you seldom get to see them as they sadly are not the focus of Blood Glacier.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    If nothing else, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reminds us that nostalgia is often used as a mandate for spectacularly lazy filmmaking.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    When the creators of The Last Exorcism Part II swapped pseudo-verité realism for psychological realism, they made it a lot harder to take their franchise seriously.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    This sequel is sluggish and rote where its predecessor was aggressively perky and desperate to please...Tai Chi Hero is more Tai Chi Business as Usual.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Ultimately, Devries seems to want to impress viewers with his anger.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Chander Pahar is an unfocused adventure-cum-travelogue.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Stage Fright's lopsided tone wouldn't be so confounding if the horror elements worked or if writer-director Jerome Sable's music, co-composed with Eli Batalion, weren't so forgettable.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Beyond isolated moments of dickish charm — and his climactic four-way fight involving a sword, a crucifix, and two steel pipes — Chapman just comes across like another pseudo-heroic American behaving badly abroad.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Most of the documents that Lapa quotes from are, as presented, unrevealing — even offensive.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    If you're wondering where the Jim Carrey of "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" and "Dumb and Dumber" fame went, don't look to Mr. Popper's Penguins for answers.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    But all the charm in the world wouldn't make Ra.One's sanctimoniousness seem any more genuine.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    This is not the stuff of stirring humanist drama, but rather a bland scenario about boring people that want to mature but have no idea how.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The Conjuring is as toothless as it is because it's two different kinds of boring. The film's plot is explained exhaustively whenever loud noises aren't blaring, and random objects aren't teasingly leaping out at you from the corner of your eye.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    These kids have to contrive magical pretexts just to lay hands on each other, and boy, are their excuses rotten.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    You could get mad at Seifert for being so bad at being so nakedly manipulative. Or you could just give up all hope, and counter-intuitively root for Monsanto. This is a David-vs.-Goliath movie, but David's aim is so spotty that Goliath has nothing to fear.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    In spite of its enjoyable, easy-to-exploit aspects, 47 Ronin is a big budget spectacle hamstrung by its need to be at once flippant and respectful of its honor-driven source material.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Pseudo-sensitive bro-dude rom-com Date and Switch comes out today, and it already feels dated.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Generally speaking, the museum seems like a modest, but vividly-detailed freak show.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Wolf Creek 2 isn't much different than "Wolf Creek," but it is markedly worse.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Little more than an ugly collection of tropes stolen from "The Exorcist" and "Seven."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    When Commitment isn't a perfectly forgettable action film, it's either an oil-thin melodrama or a charbroiled treat for meatheads.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    Despairingly bland.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    To put in Clichénese, the only language Battle of the Year knows: the creator's hearts just weren't in this thing.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    The makers of this high-concept comedy lack the courage of their gross-out convictions. Being loud, and tasteless can also be funny, but if all you've got to offer is bad racial humor, and dopey sex jokes, then you are the F@4k-You Man Eddie Murphy jokes about in "Raw," the guy who cluelessly tries to make people laugh by cursing a lot. Ghost Team One also panders to viewers, and does a lousy job of it, too.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    It's monumentally terrible. "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son" now has competition for worst picture of the year.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    A trite, and slavishly inoffensive romantic drama.