For 353 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 53% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 9.3 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 53
Highest review score: 100 The Great Beauty
Lowest review score: 0 The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence)
Score distribution:
353 movie reviews
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    By emphasizing the uglier aspects of his most complex character, Lee turns an otherwise down-to-earth slice-of-life drama into an unconvincing morality play.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Sam's racist behavior may be intended to make him a menacing sign of our times, but such unbelievable mustache-twirling makes him as threatening as a C-grade Freddy Krueger knockoff.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Maslany and Cullen's characters seem intended to be psychologically realistic, but they're only as complex as The Other Half's surface-deep style.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The Good Doctor isn't a ponderous bore because Blake isn't a strictly good or bad character: It sucks because he isn't even a compelling character.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Khumba is disastrously uninspired. Not even a galaxy of stars, united in their willingness to take a check, can save Khumba from being the boringest plucky outsider of all.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Blood Glacier is too sleepy to do anything with its guano-stirring premise. Yes, there are crazy-go-nutty monsters in the film, but you seldom get to see them as they sadly are not the focus of Blood Glacier.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    If nothing else, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reminds us that nostalgia is often used as a mandate for spectacularly lazy filmmaking.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The film makes one damning if unoriginal observation—the "reality" presented on reality TV is manufactured—and then does nothing to expand on it.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    By widening the scope of their based-on-a-true story, the makers of Revenge of the Green Dragon make their subjects look like the products of unimaginative cultural assimilation.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Point and Shoot consequently feels like a film made by a storyteller — not a journalist — who doesn't know he can ask follow-up questions.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Green, who plays a snotty version of himself, doesn't follow through on any of the ideas that make his film stand out. As a result, Digging Up the Marrow just uselessly lies there, like a cat during a heat wave.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    A coming-of-age drama that's also Southern Gothic ghost story, is an unusual, ambitious failure, mostly because the film's hyper-naturalistic style is meant to evoke a supernatural mood.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Beyond some effectively icky make-up effects, Contracted: Phase II sells nothing that viewers absolutely must buy.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Director Jackie Earle Haley's Criminal Activities is the worst kind of Tarantino clone, one with no gas in the tank, and no clue about how to pull off Tarantino's swagger.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Worse still: because The Emperor's New Clothes is often beholden to the whims of Brand (star of "Get Him to the Greek," and that tedious "Arthur" remake nobody saw), it too often feels like "Button-Pushing Encounters with Russell Brand."
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Yoga Hosers is tiring, and not because it's dumb or inherently obnoxious. No, as RogerEbert.com's resident Kevin Smith apologist, it pains me to say this, but: this movie should have been made by someone with more discipline.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Unlike the actual video game, Assassin's Creed isn't ridiculous and fun, but rather ridiculous and turgid.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Disappointing because its creators don't do anything interesting with a fairly novel theme: a mother's possessive love for her estranged daughter.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The characters could have embodied traits of typical office drones and managers, turning the film into a savage black comedy. But those elements aren't developed beyond a point, making the movie's only selling point its excessive gore and violence.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Lowe's attempts at getting into anti-heroine Ruth's head are largely unsuccessful, though her performance is sometimes effectively hysterical.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Sleazy Australian kidnapping drama Hounds of Love will make you wish you were watching a more traditionally nihilistic horror film.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Attacks doesn't establish the severity of a real-life tragedy, it only crassly devalues the loss of human life.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    When the creators of The Last Exorcism Part II swapped pseudo-verité realism for psychological realism, they made it a lot harder to take their franchise seriously.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Throughout the film, Mindless Behavior's four interchangeable members only project youthful enthusiasm and PR-friendly love for their fans.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    This sequel is sluggish and rote where its predecessor was aggressively perky and desperate to please...Tai Chi Hero is more Tai Chi Business as Usual.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Most jokes don't translate very well in Go Goa Gone, a Bollywood horror comedy influenced by Shaun of the Dead.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Ultimately, Devries seems to want to impress viewers with his anger.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Chander Pahar is an unfocused adventure-cum-travelogue.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Stage Fright's lopsided tone wouldn't be so confounding if the horror elements worked or if writer-director Jerome Sable's music, co-composed with Eli Batalion, weren't so forgettable.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Beyond isolated moments of dickish charm — and his climactic four-way fight involving a sword, a crucifix, and two steel pipes — Chapman just comes across like another pseudo-heroic American behaving badly abroad.

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