Stephanie Zacharek
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For 1,459 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 51% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 47% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 1.9 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Stephanie Zacharek's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 61
Highest review score: 100 The Missing Picture
Lowest review score: 0 Miss March
Score distribution:
1,459 movie reviews
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Intended as nothing more than a here-today, gone-tomorrow zany entertainment, and at the very least, it has a good-natured, slightly raunchy spirit about it. But ultimately, it's a hollow enterprise, all ping and no pong. It doesn't bounce; it splats.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The movie chickens out. In the Valley of Elah could have been really interesting -- and really daring -- if it had focused on Hank's realization that his own child, supposedly a good kid, had perhaps committed the kinds of atrocities that would make any decent human being recoil. The movie (which Haggis also wrote) dances around that territory, but doesn't dare to march straight into its terrifying maw.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Might have been a lavish, silly entertainment. In places it comes close, but no sheaf of tobacco.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Ambitious, overbearing and hollow; it goes overboard to impress, yet it never feels truly inventive or imaginative. At best, it achieves a level of clumsy camp.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Forget the heat of passion: The movie never breaks a sweat.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Whatever complex or interesting ideas might have been found in the source material have been watered down, skimmed over, mashed into nonsense or simply ignored.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The picture has no legs, no style, no sense of movement other than the meandering, dawdling kind.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    First Sunday is simply a case of wasting gifted performers on material that feels slapped together and unshaped.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The movie is neither cathartic nor entertaining. The action scenes (and there are many of them) feel mechanized and calculated.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Too heavy on applied charm and too flimsy when it comes to plot. The picture has a hapless, meandering quality that's tolerable at first but ultimately becomes maddening, as if it were a cartoon narrative recounted by a distracted 4-year-old.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    There's loads of suffering in Sleepwalking, piled on until the picture almost becomes an unintentional comedy.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    A filmmaker's personal connection to the material doesn't necessarily mean that the resulting picture will be any good, and Stop-Loss is so dramatically tedious that it feels remote instead of resonant.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The picture is humorless and witless. The barrage of allegedly important details is supposed to keep us intrigued, but it barely keeps us occupied.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    To his credit, Langenegger keeps things relatively simple instead of resorting to lots of fast cutting and fancy camera angles. To his detriment, the picture he has made barely moves at all. This no-style style isn't restraint; it's a kind of indifference to filmmaking.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    There's no energy, no spark, in Made of Honor. Even its clichés -- including a dashing rescue on horseback -- are trotted out with bland indifference.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Parker IS to blame for the self-consciousness of her performance. She spends much of the movie swanning, not acting: Nearly every movement, every gesture, seems conceived for the benefit of the camera, as opposed to the truth of the character.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The picture is resolutely unhip and proud of it, which can be a good thing in the right hands or, in the wrong ones, just a gimmick. Nearly everything about Pineapple Express is a gimmick.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    So wearying that it makes you feel duped for being open to it in the first place. Hamlet 2 works so hard at being entertaining, in that quirky, Indie 101 sense, that it just grinds you down.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Miller seems to have brought neither his brains nor his heart (both of which we know he's got) to this project. The style is willing. But the spirit is weak.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The movie around Lane and Gere is unreal, a tortured construct, but they open a breathing space in its center.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    An extended metaphor for the condition of man, and boy is it extended. In the course of two hours that crawl by like four and a half.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Thinking back on watching these performers, I see them mostly as an arrangement of bewildered actors awaiting orders, as if Ritchie hasn't bothered to tell them what he needs them to do. He’d sure make a lousy Mob boss.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Excessively intricate and extremely dull, the latest example of a filmmaker giving us a disjointed, overlong movie that’s unnecessarily confusing to follow.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    A glum, listless affair that springs to life now and then, only to sag back into its saggy, depressive cushion.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The jokes are forced, almost mechanical, in their crudeness.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Couldn't be more unhip -- it just never hits the groove.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Shanley offers no resolution to this Sharks vs. Jets conflict. For that, we have to wait for "Doubt! The Musical."
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    As is generally the case with Hollywood movies that use Asian horror films as their inspiration, the Guard brothers seem to have glanced at the original, borrowed a few images and then made the movie according to some preconceived template of what makes audiences jump -- instead of burrowing into the stuff that haunts our dreams.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Might have been classy, entertaining junk -- if only it were entertaining.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Takes far too long to get cooking, and it works so hard at NOT being exploitation that it loses sight of its reasons for existing in the first place.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Land of the Lost isn't a terrible movie. It's merely a perplexing one: Who is this thing for?
    • 32 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Moves along, taking two steps backward into crassness for every clever or just plain sweet moment it offers. Although many of the movie's problems seem to be rooted in the script, Columbus has such a heavy touch that he sabotages nearly every scene.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Too bad it's not so funny. Almost every gag in Black Knight feels forced and contrived, as if the movie is desperate to squeeze laughs out of us.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Ultimately feels somewhat overprocessed, and its humor is a little too broad at times -- it probably crosses the acceptable threshold of penis and boob jokes.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Everything about it, except the valiantly lifelike Lopez, feels stiff and robotic and mindlessly crowd-pleasing, as if it were a comedy made by a committee instead of a human being.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Aside from a few well-shaped moments from some of the actors, the editing is about the only thing that keeps your mind occupied in Full Frontal -- and any good editor will tell you that's a problem.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Dull and listless from the start, partly because the leads fail to connect and partly because both the script and the direction let them down.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Neither Dahl nor most of his actors ever quite convince us that there's a good reason to sit in front of a movie screen watching them for more than two hours.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The movie is a lumbering load of hokum, but unlike those other recent pop star white elephants -- it's at least watchable.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    A movie that wants to be "Speed" so badly that it runs roughshod over the essentials, including a decent script.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Forget about cancer -- it's weepy movies like this that are the real scourge.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Gerry moves slowly and deliberately, like a torture technique, leaving us feeling as dry and dusty and lost as its two characters.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Dimly entertaining, the sort of thing that doesn't insult you so much that you feel compelled to flee the theater, but it's too inert to be anything close to charming or compelling.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The Horse Whisperer is just the latest example of tab-A-into-slot-B moviemaking to come out of Hollywood, a weeper that's built according to a solid set of rules.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The problem with Kate & Leopold is that although this is supposed to be a romantic comedy, the best scenes are the ones in which there's no Ryan.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    iIt sits on the screen in the flattest way imaginable, and the brightest colors in the world can't make up for all that's missing. 8 Women is perfumed kitsch, and it reeks.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Anger Management is so almost-but-not-quite funny that it feels like one colossal gyp.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Does neither of its leads any favors. But they fill their roles admirably, and then some. Time and again, in a movie that repeatedly threatens mawkishness, you can sense them gently steering away just in the nick of time.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    An offshoot of a popular computer game, is really all about inducing visual awe. And for the first few minutes, it does.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Feels like every other action thriller we've seen in the past three years, only it's more annoying -- and, in some cases, more appalling -- because it's trying so hard to distinguish itself.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Sodden and glum, even in those moments where it's supposed to feel funny and light. It makes you feel trapped and flailing as the minutes tick by. If it encapsulates anything, it's the experience of drowning, not waving.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The frustrating thing about Catwoman is that Berry does her damnedest to make the character work. Some of her physical moves are astonishing: Her offhanded grace is exceedingly catlike.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Sure, sex and drugs can take you to a higher plane. But not if a movie crushes your will to live first.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The picture has a lax, sleepy vibe: There's never anything taut or electric about it. And so, like Pacino's character, we sleepwalk through it.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Isn't just a movie about decapitation; it's a decapitated movie. It has no idea where its head is at.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    There's a fine line dividing Hollywood tradition and overly manipulative junk, and Tears of the Sun crosses it.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Lars von Trier is a mechanic, not an artist. And his movies are meat grinders he feeds his characters through.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The movie has some sex in it, and yet it's as unsexy as a rusty old olive oil can (minus the olive oil).
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    More of a women's-prison movie than a supernatural thriller, and not a very good one at that.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Which would all be well and good, if only Arcand's approach weren't so deliberate and stupefyingly superior.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Works neither as an exuberant rock 'n' roll picture nor as a heroic fable. It will rock you --straight to sleep.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The visual originality of The Saddest Music is deceiving: Narratively and spiritually, the movie is bankrupt, even though it's so packed with stuff (including a set of shapely prosthetic glass legs filled with dazzling, fizzy beer) that you can hardly bring yourself to believe that it all adds up to nothing.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Van Helsing wears its price tag on its ruffled lamé sleeve. And yet it gives off an aura of what I can only call lavish cheapness.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's hard to care about a valiant groping for accuracy when a story is so badly told you can't tell what the devil is going on.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Its spectacular special effects threaten to swallow characters whole, and there are times when overwrought and clumsy dialogue... nearly pitch you right out of the movie's mood.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The groom is a doofus, the bride has genuine screwball talent -- It's too bad that the movie is so disappointing.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Boyle's Beach lacks imagination and energy, two things that might have distracted us, at least occasionally, from the material's tepidness.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Has a TV Movie of the Week righteousness about it -- you can feel the way the filmmakers and the director are struggling to educate us, even as they must surely know, deep in their hearts, that the florid, doomed romance is the real focus of the movie.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Too conventional to capture Kaufman's insanity and too haphazard, too shapeless, to recapture Kaufman's energy in any meaningful way.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Bale gives a remarkable performance in a movie I can recommend to no one, because the sight of him is more distressing than any of the allegedly deep themes of the picture.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    May be very much about feelings, but it's made with a drab, juiceless, tasteful efficiency that distances us from the characters instead of drawing us closer to them.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Never have a great historical hero's accomplishments seemed so inconsequential, or so damned hard to figure out.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    You can't BECOME a character if you want to BE that character: Desperation isn't the same thing as acting. Spacey's mimicry is so precise, it's exhausting.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Despite the fact that The Day After Tomorrow is harnessed to the very real threat of global warming, it's still just a big, dumb movie, another Hollywood entertainment that, instead of tweaking and teasing our brains for fun, leaves us feeling thick and stupid.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Becomes more and more preposterous with each scene -- it's almost like performance art.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The picture is mildly entertaining and stringently unoffensive (provided you're not a supersensitive upper-crusty type from Connecticut). Yet it has problems from the start.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Troy isn't so much a simplified retelling of "The Iliad" as a re-imagined version of it, told wholly without imagination.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Before long, El Cantante disintegrates into a stylized jumble -- even a straightforward jumble would have been preferable.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    So much of Abbas' dialogue consists of stiff platitudes (the script is by journalist Rula Jebreal, based on her novel of the same name); the character she's playing has been reduced to a dull, saintly figure, and not even Abbas can find a way out of that miniature prison.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Hornet's Nest is filled with boring, not-great-looking white guys, talking - a lot.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The supposition, maybe, is that in an alleged thrill ride of a movie like this one, the words aren't supposed to matter.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    What a dud of a story! You know what it needs to dress it up? Garden gnomes.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Step over to the liquor cabinet and mix yourself a good, stiff drink - if you plan on seeing this godforsaken thing, you'll need it.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    It follows the same essential pattern as its predecessor, but the ingenious loopiness is gone; the mechanism behind it grinds instead of whirrs.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Safe House is a twisted claw of a movie, a picture so visually ugly that, to borrow a line from Moms Mabley, it hurt my feelings.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The Lorax is so big, flashy and redundant that it courts precisely the kind of blind consumerism it's supposed to be condemning. It doesn't trust kids to sit still and pay attention for even a minute.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    It doesn't take long for Bekmambetov to wear out his welcome with a laundry list of generic-looking action sequences: When you've seen one vampire get stabbed in the eyeball, you've seen 'em all.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Damon is as buff as ever, maybe even more so... But watching him lumber through Elysium's bramble of lofty ideals is no damn fun.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The Lone Ranger has it all, but what you end up with is not much. It's an extravagantly squandered opportunity.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Noah is here not to set the record straight, but to set it on its head. This isn't a lavish work of mad genius, it's a movie designed to be a lavish work of mad genius, and there's a difference.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    There are hints of greatness, one or two artfully constructed scenes that remind you why you look forward to new Scorsese films in the first place. But as a highly detailed portrait of true-life corruption and bad behavior in the financial sector, Wolf is pushy and hollow, too much of a bad thing.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Transcendence, written by Jack Paglen, is just more business as usual, one of those "control technology or it will control you" sermons that nonetheless enlists the usual heap of technically advanced special effects.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Renny Harlin's Legend of Hercules fulfills every silly, flimsy promise that it makes in the first place: There are lots of battles (albeit rather jerkily rendered ones), some grand-looking horses decked out in handsome metal headdresses, and lots of well-oiled beefcake.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The Other Woman doesn't give these actresses much to do except look ridiculous, if not sneaky and conniving.
    • 90 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    Her
    Instead of just being desperately heartfelt, Her keeps reminding us — through cinematographer Hoyte Van Hoytema's somber-droll camera work, through Phoenix's artfully slumped shoulders — how desperately heartfelt it is.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    In the end, Non-Stop is a waste of a perfectly good Neeson, and of our time and goodwill. Please make it stop.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    There's a great story here, but Asante — who has made one previous feature, the 2004 drama A Way of Life — can't quite harness its power.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The Judge has its funny moments but is far more serious at heart, and much more of a slog, too.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    The misfires, including a strange menstruation gag, far outnumber the hits. Dumb and Dumber To is mostly just a kick in the nuts, and not the good kind -- provided there is a good kind.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 40 Stephanie Zacharek
    If you’re not expecting too much, Drive Hard is mindlessly entertaining, but it lacks that spark of madness that might have made it truly fun. At least Cusack is able to shed some of his usual overseriousness.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 35 Stephanie Zacharek
    A moneygrubbing extravaganza, ugly to look at and interminable to sit through. No movie about the evils of excessive taxation should be this taxing.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 35 Stephanie Zacharek
    Aside from a few arresting visuals, Red Riding Hood is just a slog through the woods.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 35 Stephanie Zacharek
    Peep World barely seems like a movie. Withered and shrunken, it feels even too small for TV.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    If only Leap Year were an anomaly, the kind of picture that comes along only once every four years. Instead, it's yet more evidence that romantic comedies are only getting worse.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    There's no doubt we need more movies for grown-ups, with jokes that don't hit us over the head, but The Men Who Stare at Goats doesn't fit the bill. At best, it might hypnotize you into a stupor.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    New Moon, on the other hand, merely follows a dictated formula. It's a cheap, shoddy piece of work, one that banks on moviegoers' anticipation without even bothering to craft a satisfying experience for them. Its pandering is an insult.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Terminator Salvation has no brains and no soul; it's just a mass of stiff, creaking metal joints. Clearly, the machines have won.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    I Hate Valentine's Day is a horror show masquerading as a romantic comedy. Maybe Vardalos is just in the wrong line of work.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    If Alex Proyas' Knowing were reasonably entertaining -- instead of just dour, pointless and tedious -- it would be a camp classic.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Pulp needs a pulse -- without one, it's DOA. No matter how hard some of its actors work to resuscitate it, Assault on Precinct 13 is as lifeless as a corpse on a slab.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Cinderella Man is ostensibly the kind of old-fashioned drama that sends audiences home with a satisfied glow. But like so many of Howard's movies, there's something canned and phony about it -- it left me feeling cooked and dehydrated, as if I'd fallen asleep on a tanning bed.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's desperately lifeless.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The movie works neither as a comedy nor as a lame melodrama -- its entertainment value is embarrassingly feeble.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Challenges us to believe in the power of myth. But the big challenge here is surviving the tedium of Shyamalan's meandering inventiveness. What's supposed to be fanciful storytelling is really just audience punishment.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's a comedy, a political thriller, a love story: Barry Levinson's Man of the Year tries to be all things to all people and fails on every count -- a little like the generic, ineffectual politicians it's pretending to excoriate.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    With The Good German, Soderbergh -- generally a terrific and creative filmmaker -- apes a style, and a way of seeing, that he clearly doesn't understand. It feels like a hit to the stomach.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Bug
    A humorless picture, a somber, arty exercise in deep denial of its exploitation roots. The dialogue is stiff and mechanical and the performances are too.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Carell is on the fast track to becoming Robin Williams, a guy who lost the plot far too early on and began pouring his considerable comic gifts into brain-dead heart-warmers.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The sex scenes -- intense, affecting and emotionally raw -- are the best thing about this frustratingly limp movie.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Ben Stiller, the movie's star, pretty much sinks the whole enterprise.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Cassandra's Dream, an earnest meditation on greed, desire, murder and class struggle, is one of Woody Allen's funniest movies in years -- except Allen doesn't know it.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It pretends to examine how self-absorbed we are as a culture, only to be consumed by its own self-absorption. It's also badly constructed, humorless and emotionally sadistic .
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Sutherland is the only actor in Fool's Gold who isn't trying too hard, perhaps because he doesn't have to. He's the movie's only treasure, hidden in plain sight.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Wears off in about 10.8 minutes.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The most sterile of bodice-rippers, a genteel soap opera in which the sex and intrigue are so muted, so tasteful, that they practically blow off the screen in a scattering of dust.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    This may be one of the most sluggish sports comedies ever made -- even the supposedly rousing final sequence feels belabored and chubby.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The picture, despite the grand panoramic scale Emmerich has tried to give it, is dopey and static. Its finest moments belong to the thundering herd of woolly mammoths who storm through the picture sometime in its first half-hour.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Owen Wilson doesn't have a single good line in the dismal Drillbit Taylor. So how is it that almost everything he does is funny?
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Watching The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, it struck me that weaving a touching little tale about a death-camp friendship is actually a pretty bad way to teach kids about the Holocaust.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    On second thought, maybe just about everyone should stay away from this drearily cheerful little picture that isn't nearly as funny or as heartwarming -- or even as topical, given the economic climate -- as it thinks it is.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Boring at best and insidious at worst.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Spends a lot of time advertising how exciting it is, without actually being exciting.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    In Crank: High Voltage, Statham just looks miserable, as if appearing in this lousy picture just sucked all the heart right out of him.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The problem with “Wolverine” isn’t that the mythology is detailed and potentially confusing — you could say that about any number of movies based on comic books, even some of the good ones. The bigger issue is that “Wolverine” is so uninvolving that you might not care whether you remember what happened 10 minutes ago.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Year One sets prehistoric comedy back at least 20 years.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    This is a love story, all right, but it has less to do with the flaws of capitalism than it does with Moore's unwavering fondness for the sound of his own voice, and for what he perceives as his own vast cleverness.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's sad when a bit of grim futuristic silliness like Repo Men falls short on all counts, down to the most basic level of entertainment value.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Unlike the original -- which, in a crazy stroke of genius, allowed Shakespearean thespians like Claire Bloom and Maggie Smith, plus Bond babe Ursula Andress, to mix it up as jealous goddesses -- the new Clash of the Titans is frightfully low on babes.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Just slides off the screen and disappears.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Life in the Bronx is hard, all right. Getting through a movie shouldn't be harder.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Fragmented and contrived, like a badly mapped-out scrapbook.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It hovers somewhere in that never-never land of movies that try to do too much and don't quite live up to any of their ambitions.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Perfectly inoffensive and harmless, but it's also drab and inert.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Every scene is coated with Marshall's thumbprints, ultimately connecting into a manhandled, mangled, misshapen whole, its themes written out in thunderously obvious cues.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Just a string of cute gags and pouting on Isabella's part that's supposed to signify soul-searching.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Poops out before it ever really gets going.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Deadly dull.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    For a movie that's supposed to be about speed and movement, Torque is a peculiarly slow kind of torture. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition -- especially not in an action movie.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Even with the outlandish characters, gaudy colors and gay satire, this smug John Waters knockoff can't stand up to the real thing.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The direction on Johnson Family Vacation is numbingly slack; the synapses between the scenes don't spark effortlessly, as they should, and the whole enterprise feels dragged-down and belabored.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    No director in the history of moviemaking has expended so much effort in the service of drying up and blowing off the landscape.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Stumbles along laboriously, its jokes following one after another in a sloppy, flat-footed walk.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The air leaks out of Gaudí Afternoon gradually but steadily, until all we're left with is a limp rag of a balloon.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Anything Else isn't just the latest Woody Allen movie; it's also the smallest. His pictures seem to be getting tinier and tinier, and after you've seen them they leave nothing but a tinny echo and a bad taste. Anything Else is misanthropy writ small. Allen is too stingy to be generous even with his contempt.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    All noise with very little fun, and almost no restraint.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Suspect Zero is loaded with cheap thrills for the expensively educated.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Dragonfly wants desperately to be the spiritual heir to "The Sixth Sense," but it's not even as effective a thriller.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    If you can get past the goofy writing, there's lots of noisy action in The Punisher, but little of it is particularly exhilarating. In fact, it's more of an endurance test. If you can sit through it, you should consider yourself duly punished.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's an English movie doing its best to masquerade as the shallowest kind of Hollywood romantic comedy, as if somewhere along the way someone had made a calculated supposition that would be the only kind of comedy American audiences would buy.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    A dismally unfunny comedy, but that's not what's depressing about it. Worse by far is the palpable desperation in Goldie Hawn's performance.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Leaving the theater, I couldn't quell those waves of disappointment: It just should have been funnier.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's a shame when an actor like Sylvester Stallone, who's always at his most appealing when he just hunkers down and lets himself be a big galoot, feels he has to make a bid for respectability.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Cruise pedals hard through The Last Samurai, and the exertion shows. In fact, the whole picture is belabored and lumbering.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The real mystery at the heart of M. Night Shyamalan's latest: How does he persuade actors like Sigourney Weaver and Adrien Brody to act in his supremely lame movies?
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's not much fun, and it's not particularly edifying. Even people who are curious about Holmes (he was better known by his screen name, Johnny Wadd; here, he's played by Val Kilmer) won't find out much about him.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Moore's supporters are quick to impugn the liberal credentials of anyone who criticizes his presentation of the information he digs up (or, in some cases, makes up). For them, Michael Moore is the issues he talks about, so his detractors must be enemies of democratic principles. It's an old trick, akin to the way Pauline Kael was accused of being insensitive about the Holocaust when she didn't like "Shoah."
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's hard to discern exactly whom this holiday tripe is for.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    A vehicle for teen singing sensation Mandy Moore. As vehicles go, it's an Edsel.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Actually, the wonder The Polar Express induces feels something like a coma.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The movie is like a well-intentioned designer knockoff that doesn't know when to quit.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    If it were terrible, you could at least sink your teeth into it; but Welcome to Mooseport is like a biscuit soaked in water, ready to be gummed instead of chewed.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The movie can't distinguish between what's likable and human and funny and what's simply repellent. In that respect, it's just as indiscriminate as the reality TV it shakes its finger at.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Takes plenty of twists and turns, each so implausible and silly that you have no interest whatsoever in finding out what the next one will be. The director, Paul McGuigan, is fond of fancy split-screen effects and stylish, snappy cutting, but he can't tell a story to save his life.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Unless you're a lover of tigers, there's probably no reason to see Jean-Jacques Annaud's Two Brothers. And maybe not even then.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    This film "Phantom" takes everything that's wrong with Broadway and puts it on the big screen in a gaudy splat.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It would be destined for the trash heap of Shakespeare adaptations, if not for its female lead, and its heart, 17-year-old Claire Danes.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Everything he (Nolan) does is forced and overthought, and Inception, far from being his ticket into hall-of-fame greatness, is a very expensive-looking, elephantine film whose myriad so-called complexities -- of both the emotional and intellectual sort -- add up to a kind of ADD tedium.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Big-name star Liam Neeson looks on, trying to add some class to the joint, though even he seems to know it's a losing battle.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    So bad it's almost like performance art, or those cheap records from the '60s, where the Chipmunks sing the Beatles' greatest hits.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The whole exercise has the trying-too-hard vibe of a bad toupee.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    With Scott Pilgrim, Wright leaps over the line from chattery cleverness to all-out self-consciousness.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Hop
    There's nothing in it to inspire excitement or even a mild glimmer of delight; it's almost offensive in its dullness.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    It takes too long for the story to come around to the fact that Will is just plain nuts - and even then, he gets over it in a heartbeat.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Blue Jasmine is so relentlessly clueless about the ways real human beings live, and so eager to make the same points about human nature that Allen has made dozens of times before, that it seems like a movie beamed from another planet.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    The Book Thief is just too tidy to have much impact.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Stephanie Zacharek
    Bateman, as both director and star, digs his heels in too hard to make the movie's points, using lots of ho-hum close-ups and wriggly camera work along the way.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Stephanie Zacharek
    Hits a new low of idiocy and crassness.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Stephanie Zacharek
    Rubber could have been a modest horror novelty, a wicked, malevolent version of "The Red Balloon."
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Stephanie Zacharek
    "Piranha 3D" was ridiculous, gory and fun, everything Piranha 3DD is not.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Both mean-spirited and self-conscious. It's all style and no soul, which wouldn't be a problem if its style at least gave us something to look at, or to laugh at. But From Paris With Love, filmed on location in Paris, has a raggedy, greasy, dingy look: It's the movie equivalent of an unbathed, unshaven French boyfriend (the bad kind). It thinks it's suave, but it just smells bad.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    A perfect storm of a movie disaster: You've got good actors fighting a poorly conceived script, under the guidance of a director who can no longer make the distinction between imaginativeness and computer-generated effects. The result is an expensive-looking mess that fails to capture the mood, and the poetry, of its source material.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Neither funny nor honest. The exact opposite of a retreat, it's merely exhausting.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Just when you think your jaw can't drop any lower in appalled amazement, comes a romantic comedy so lunkheaded and ill-conceived that it makes your average, idiotic Kate Hudson-Matthew McConaughey outing look like the reincarnation of Hepburn and Grant.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's a limp romantic drama that occasionally lifts its drowsy head to attempt a wan smile, a picture that starts out being harmlessly dull and ends, somehow, in a place that feels insultingly manipulative.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    So contemptuous toward its own characters, and its audience, that it chokes off any visceral thrills it might have offered. The movie substitutes calculation for brains, and the filmmakers seem to think we'll all be too stupid to notice.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Extravagant in movie terms but stingy in emotional ones, it embodies all of Spielberg's bad impulses and almost none of his good ones: It's a grand display of how well he knows how to work us over, and yet the desperation with which he tries to get to us is repulsive.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's ostensibly about adults, but there's nothing remotely adult about it.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    There's nothing offhand or spontaneous-feeling about Nanny McPhee; it's a highly mechanical piece of work, and its potentially delightful details are wasted.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's lower on the food chain than a mere exploitation picture because it clings so desperately to the notion that it's a serious movie about violence; it doesn't even have enough integrity to serve up cheap, sick thrills for their own sake.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Both the performance and the movie around it are virtually incomprehensible.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's tempting to write off Because I Said So as just another dumb, bad comedy, made yesterday and forgotten tomorrow. But no matter how negligible this particular picture is, it's time to look a little deeper. If these are the only kinds of roles we can conceive for actresses who have grown into their faces, as Keaton has, it's no wonder so many younger performers are seeking the knife.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    The picture is just a catalog of strained camera moves and preprogrammed gags, with no wit or style.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Any moron can make a bad movie. But it takes a special breed of schemer to make a picture as shameless as The Bucket List.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Watching Streep and her two BFFs, played by Christine Baranski and Julie Walters, grinning and giggling their way through Mamma Mia! I felt I was being thoroughly, and unenjoyably, punished.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's impossible to tell what's going on at any given moment in Tomb of the Dragon Emperor; it's even harder to care about being able to tell.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's both slack and bloated; I've been to Catholic wedding masses that had more zip. I think it clocked in at fewer than 90 minutes, but it seemed to last longer than most marriages do.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    A comedy of remarriage that makes divorce look like a state of grace.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    As The Muse chugs along, it becomes more apparent how tired and pointless it is.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Doesn't seem geared to kids at all: It's so adult that it's massively boring.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's clear from the outset that a thriller is going to be big and dumb -- as opposed to tight and smart.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Another insulting women's comedy.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    The comedy is tepid, the action is dopey and even the violence is boring and occasionally cruel.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    They don't even look as if they're having fun. Their stint as cross-dressers is simply an endurance test for them, and for us.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Long before Serving Sara drags its butt to the finish line, you wish you were watching a different race.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Aggressively offensive.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Of all the characters in American Pie 2, male or female, Michelle is the only one who feels completely rounded and whole. She moves with unerring grace and subtlety through this feeble minefield of a movie, unharmed by the tepid jokes that flop and fizzle around her.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    No drama, no lyricism, just cornpone. It's too bad, because outlaws are, by their very nature, glamorous movie subjects.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Such weak medicine. Sure enough, it goes down. Keeping it down is another matter.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    I can't remember ever feeling so glad that a movie was finally over. Lucas may have held my imagination hostage for two hours, but reclaiming it afterward wasn't hard at all.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Slackers is supposed to be a gross-out comedy, but the tastelessness of its jokes is nothing compared to its sheer cluelessness.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    A weaselly little thing.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    It takes a very clever schoolboy to make a movie as elaborately empty as Guy Ritchie's Snatch.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Watching a movie should never be such torture.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Bening's prickliness is pure delight, but there's only so much she can do. It's a terrible fate for an actress to be upstaged by a humming p----.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Cameron manhandles the real story, scavenging it for his own puny narrative purposes. It's a film made with boorish confidence and zero sensitivity, big and dumb and hulking.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    You will not like it on the screen, you will not like it -- not one scene!
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Shows about a third less craft than its all-too-lame predecessor, and it's only half as funny. If those are figures you can deal with, enter the theater at your own peril.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Who would have thought that Cameron Crowe had a movie as bad as Vanilla Sky in him? It's a punishing picture, a betrayal of everything that Crowe has proved he knows how to do right.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Maybe I'm expecting too much of Cyrus. But The Last Song rests heavily on her alleged appeal, and I can't remember the last time I came across such a singularly charmless teenage performer. I hesitate to even use the word "actress."
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Paranormal Activity 2 sinks much lower than it needs to in order to get a rush out of us - and in the end, the rush isn't even that great. The movie puts us through the paces with minimal payoff.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Stephanie Zacharek
    Skyline is a piece of junk, even in a movie climate littered with expensive - though sometimes fun - junkiness.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 15 Stephanie Zacharek
    Take Me Home Tonight isn't nearly as much fun as the '80s actually were. Even worse, it's less fun than most '80s comedies were - and that's bad.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Offensive to Hindus. Never mind the Hindus; The Love Guru is offensive to pretty much anyone with a brain.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Overall Seven Pounds is too heavy-handed and maudlin to be comprehensible, let alone moving. The real shocker is that not even Smith can rescue it.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    With Yes Man, Carrey has bled the well dry, doing everything he knows how to do, over and over again, just to prove that he still knows how to do it. It's exhilarating to see brilliance in a comic; but by the time you start smelling it, the game is over.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Until that final, inevitable kiss, we have to listen to them, and the clatter of their crude, brainless exchanges is unbearable.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's possible Hill has a style, of sorts. But he doesn't work from the heart, or from the gut, as a good comedy director generally needs to. He operates from one guiding question: "How disturbing can we make this sh**?"
    • 25 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Takes so many wrong turns it's barely an also-ran. It isn't the next best thing at all. Not even close.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Doesn't quite have the goods.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    One of those strained caper movies that's hardly any fun to watch and begins to vaporize from your memory minutes after it ends.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's so uncomplicated you could go out for spaghetti after the first 10 minutes and slip back into your seat just in time for the last 10, and you wouldn't feel you'd missed a thing, save a rumble or two.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Not 10 minutes into the smeary mess that is The Man in the Iron Mask, the only sensible question to ask yourself is, "What am I doing here?"
    • 21 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's a movie barely fit for a cretin, much less a King. If you hear a door slam in the theater, you'll know that Elvis has left the building -- in disgust.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    For sheer ineptitude, crassness and unwatchability, American Wedding takes the cake.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Toback has hit a new low. The candor and shrugging good humor Toback, at his best, used to show has been replaced by a repellent slurpiness: The whole picture seems coated with a slimy sheen of drool.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    I desperately wanted Glitter to be trashy and over-the-top, to be so courageously awful. As it is, it isn't nearly bad enough to be that kind of good. It's simply there, all dressed up with no place to go, and that's the most damning thing you could say about it.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Mildly grisly, assaultively noisy and tremendously boring.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's dispiriting to see good actors doing smart, solid work with so much unadulterated garbage swirling around them. Scott's art is also death, and we, the audience, are the ones he's jabbing at with his ruthless paintbrush. It's about time someone told him where to stick it.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Leaves you feeling as if you've been alternately milked and bitch-slapped. Its manipulation is so clumsy and obvious -- and, ultimately, it goes so far astray from its original guiding principles -- that it leaves you feeling dangled and dazed.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's a performance that screams "Look at me!" louder and bigger than an elephant dick. And every bit as subtle.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Isn't dubbed. But it sure feels like it. The characters open their mouths and their lips don't seem to be shaping the right words -- you can't believe any human beings would ever utter such ludicrous dialogue, with so little conviction.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    For those of you on a really tight entertainment budget, you'll be paying at least 8 cents per minute not to laugh. Your money is better spent on beans and rice.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 10 Stephanie Zacharek
    Colorless and soulless in the extreme, it bears no one's fingerprints at all. There's no reason for this Oldboy to exist. It's so DOA, you stumble out of it wanting to eat something alive.
    • 7 Metascore
    • 0 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's time to start recognizing that not all escapist entertainment is created equal. And that some of it isn't even entertainment. Miss March is, to use the vernacular of the escapist moviegoer, the biggest pile of crap I've seen in ages.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Stephanie Zacharek
    As a symbol of what some filmmakers and some studios think the public will buy, it's a horrific piece of work. How dare anyone put this piece of c--- in front of me. How dare anyone put it in front of YOU.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 0 Stephanie Zacharek
    It's merely nutty, a picture that appears to have been made by an individual who has fallen off the edge of reason. Watching it was misery.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Stephanie Zacharek
    May be the worst romantic comedy I've ever seen, although I hesitate to make such a resolute pronouncement about a movie that's so barely even THERE.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Stephanie Zacharek
    This isn't a picture filled with wonder and a sense of fun; it's so jaded and crass that I almost wonder if it's a highly unscientific experiment designed to gauge how little audiences will settle for these days. Manic and multicolored, Speed Racer is an excess of nothingness.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Stephanie Zacharek
    The most depressing movie I've seen all year; in fact, I'm hard-pressed to name a movie aimed specifically at women that has ever made me feel as insulted and disgusted.

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