Stephen Holden

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For 2,034 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 50% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 47% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 1.8 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Stephen Holden's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 58
Highest review score: 100 My Perestroika
Lowest review score: 0 Waiting...
Score distribution:
2,034 movie reviews
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    As the film loses its grip on its multiple stories, the title begins to suggest an overheated stew bubbling out of its pot. By the end of the film, the intersecting dramas and histrionic performances have spilled all over the floor, so to speak.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Amusing one-joke film.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    So narratively garbled and its screenplay so underwritten that you have to strain to piece together the story.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A very shallow comedy. For the real thing, rent “The Ref,” in which Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis, with a boost from Glynis Johns, set the house on fire.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    (Shue's) sweetly likable performance is the only coherent element in a film that has the impersonal feel of a television drama slapped together in a rush.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Despite its sociological tidbits and flashes of musical vitality, Saudade do Futuro never goes anywhere.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Wish I Was Here is so eager to please that you are never allowed to feel uncomfortable for more than a minute or two before a reassuringly stale joke rushes in to pat you on the head.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    This candy-colored movie, whose soft hues match the colored cereal loops that Alby devours at his mother's house, is a post-Freudian fable that wants to be a kind of anti-"Wizard of Oz" for a culture inundated with toys and toons.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Good intentions do not guarantee good movies, or even watchable ones. A sad case in point is The Kid and I.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The film's elegantly tricky cinematography and ominous, pounding score by Hans Zimmer (provocatively juxtaposed with the Rolling Stones), only underline the emptiness behind its technical flash.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    If 1st Night had a glint of social satire, it might have amounted to something more than a frivolous fatuity. But it plays as an arch, hammily acted farce.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The kindest thing to be said of Movie 43, a star-saturated collection of crude one-joke vignettes made with big-time directors, is that most of the participants seem to relish being naughty.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Advance word of mouth has suggested that Ms. Basinger...turns in a performance comparable to Meryl Streep's in "Out of Africa." Would that it were so. Ms. Basinger certainly works hard at her role.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A movie that pits a substantial actor like Mary McDonnell, playing a New York madam, against a bogus story that crossbreeds noirish affectations and romantic comedy into an unpalatable mush that suggests strawberry ice cream slathered with beer.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A candy-colored, unabashedly sentimental movie.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    An incoherent hybrid of buddy movie, "Girls Gone Wild" episode and James Bond spoof that employs cheap cinematic tricks like multiple split screens for no apparent purpose.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Were it a farce instead of an earnest, paranoid thriller with pretensions to historicity, An American Affair might not seem so offensively exploitative. The fact that it is quite well acted, especially by Ms. Mol, who has the air of a sophisticated 1960s party animal down pat, only compounds the insult.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Solemn, sentimental bore of a movie that suffocates in its own predictability and watered-down psychobabble.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    An interminable mess of a film that juggles more characters and undeveloped subplots than it can handle and even manages to bungle the setup.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Mental wildly overplays the kookiness and quirk.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The question is why. Why would a star of Michael Douglas's stature and intelligence attach himself to a Washington thriller as deeply ridiculous, suspense-free and potentially career-damaging as The Sentinel?
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    If nothing else the ramshackle, scatterbrained rom-com What's Your Number? confirms the arrival, heralded by "Bridesmaids," of a new subgenre, the smutty chick flick, into the Hollywood mainstream.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    So preoccupied with delivering its effects that it doesn't bother to make sense of its story.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The movie has a frantic staccato style that is more game-oriented than cinematic.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The movie, which is crudely dubbed into English, lacks the raucous, anything-for-a-shock carnival humor of its American prototypes. After it's over, the only question worth asking is whether dear, cozy old Heidelberg can survive the slander.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The screenplay, by Mr. Cooper and Jonathan D. Krane, is so sketchy that it feels like a hastily executed first draft.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Too lazy and too loosely structured to accomplish much besides conveying some vivid physical impressions. There is no narrator, and the structure that exists is clouded by the new-age mumbo-jumbo of eight principal commentators.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    So why? Why would stars of the magnitude of Mr. Cage and Ms. Kidman sign on to a project whose screenplay is so inept that the movie, even if profitable, will stand as a career-impeding setback? Can't they read?
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The product is so synthetic it has only attitude where its heart ought to be.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A depressing two-hour infomercial pitching Times Square as the only place in the universe you want to be when the ball drops at midnight on Dec. 31. (Believe me, it's not.)
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Like Warwick himself, the movie begins to run amok after a taut and tantalizing first act. Not even Mr. Hyde Pierce's best efforts can make sense of a character who by the end of the film seems to be a completely different person with the same name.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A leaden, skimpily plotted space-age Outward Bound adventure with vague allegorical aspirations that remain entirely unrealized.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Proving once again that skillful performances can't create something out of almost nothing - the best they can do is make it palatable.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Breezing along on gusts of stale air and perky inanities, Two Weeks Notice is a romantic comedy so vague and sadly undernourished that it makes one of Nora Ephron's low-cal strawberry sodas seem as tempting as a Philip Barry feast.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A stultifying hybrid of athletic instruction film and Christian sermon.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Bland, unrevealing.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Turns into an impenetrable essay on guilt, memory and the fear of death that even Mr. Langella's gravity cannot salvage.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Dramatically as well as visually, The Musketeer conflicts with itself by trying to blend grand old- school costume drama and MTV- style rhythm and attitude into the same movie. The juxtapositions are often preposterous.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Its tepid satire of art world pretensions culminates with a visual dirty joke that is mildly amusing but still not worth the wait.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The movie equivalent of a box of Froot Loops followed by a half-gallon Pepsi chaser.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Soon after that the movie simply stops dead in its tracks, as though the money had run out and the project had been called off in the middle of a scene that makes no psychological or dramatic sense. It leaves you frustrated and annoyed.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Although there is the germ of a very sharp comedy in the intersection of real mobsters and make-believe thugs in a Hollywood mob comedy, Analyze That is far too lazy to do much with it.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    You might blame Nora Ephron, whose screenplay for “When Harry Met Sally” established the formula that I Hate Valentine’s Day runs into the ground. Compared with this, Ms. Ephron is Chekhov.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    In Ms. Mirren's first film to be directed by her husband, Taylor Hackford, since "White Nights" in 1985, her formidable dramatic resources can't camouflage flat writing that eventually veers into gloppy sentimentality. At times even Ms. Mirren, who adopts a regionless American accent, seems uncomfortable.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Rudderless, the misbegotten directorial debut of William H. Macy, is so dishonest, manipulative and ultimately infuriating that it never recovers after its bombshell revelation two-thirds of the way into the movie.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Rob Schneider runs an obstacle course of taste and emerges remarkably unsullied, considering the choices he faces.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Doesn't have a genuinely human moment.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The Son of No One self-destructs in a ludicrous, ineptly directed anticlimactic rooftop showdown in which bodies pile up, and nothing makes a shred of sense.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    After barely stirring to life, Night Train to Lisbon mercifully expires.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Watching Ms. Zellweger’s joyless performance, you have to wonder what happened to this formerly charming actress who not so long ago seemed on the verge of becoming a softer, more vulnerable Shirley MacLaine.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Neither funny nor sexy, nor leavened by the wistful laissez-faire wisdom of the typical sophisticated Gallic comedy, it is less than a trifle.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    In trying to be both bold and nonthreatening, the movie ends up seeming tame and mildly offensive.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Even for a fairy tale, A Cinderella Story, directed by Mark Rosman from a screenplay by Leigh Dunlap, fails to make sense.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The upbeat ending can't erase the lingering aura of being trapped in an insane asylum with the Manson family.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A chilly machine-tooled comedy.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The weakest parts of Safe Haven are its action sequences, in which the illusion of reality is shattered by ham-handed editing, garish special effects and comic-book dialogue.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The novelty of hearing Ms. Bonham Carter spew four-letter words fades quickly. So does the sight of Mr. Branagh elaborately rehearsing how to rob a bank. This versatile actor has many strengths, but as his wooden turn in ''Celebrity'' has already demonstrated, comedy isn't one of them.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A tedious World War II epic that slogs across the screen like a forced march in quicksand.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The spectacle of two mature stars forced to grovel in the bathroom for cheap laughs is pathetic.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A supernatural thriller so mechanically inept and lacking in suspense that it doesn't even pass muster as lowbrow Halloween-ready entertainment.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The gay, independent comedy Adam & Steve is as crude and nonsensical as any number of B-list studio equivalents, with the added disadvantages of a low budget and shaky direction by Craig Chester, who wrote and also stars.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The suds that cascade through Tyler Perry’s The Family That Preys more than equal the cubic footage from nighttime soaps like "Dallas," "Dynasty" and their offspring.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Starbuck is up to its eyeballs in mush.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Written and directed by the husband-wife team of Kieran and Michele Mulroney, Paper Man is so unsure of itself that its symbolic edifice feels like a desperately erected defense system.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Beyond its eye candy, this wisp of a movie, inspired by Arthur Schnitzler's play "La Ronde," offers only hints of the complicated personalities behind the characters' sleek, well-toned surfaces.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The body-swapping premise, which is stale to begin with, isn't explored with any depth, unless you find meaningful Freudian subtext in the movie's relentless anal fixation. But the premise at least sets up a farce that surpasses "The Hangover" in gleeful crudeness and profanity.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    This is a movie that runs on magical thinking.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Quickly curdles into a nasty variation of the one-last-score genre.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A bleak, static mood piece about adolescent emptiness. There's little dialogue, and what there is offers the scantest information about Gerardo, who, as played by Mr. Ortuño, conveys an impenetrable blank-faced melancholy.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Under the direction of Andy Tennant, the Olsen sisters lay on the icky-poo cuteness with several trowels, often delivering their lines as though they were reciting the alphabet.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The kindest thing to be said for this frantic, cluttered mess of cheesy computer-generated action-adventure clichés is that at least you can see how the estimated $175 million budget was spent.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A slapdash, poorly acted, paint-by-numbers teen horror comedy, the sequel is too frenetically edited to build any suspense, and its special effects are strictly bargain basement.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    May be the opposite of trash, but it is something just as disposable: dead literary meat. Dragged down by a stuffy screenplay clotted with generic period oratory, overdressed to the point that the actors seem physically impeded by their ornate costumes, and hopelessly muddled in its storytelling, the movie is edited with a haphazardness that leaves many dots unconnected.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The home-movie crudeness of Dead or Alive: Final indicates it was made on the cheap with minimal preparation.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Watching the movie is like reaching into a Christmas stocking and pulling out handfuls of cheap plastic toys that are broken.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    This dull, dawdling film, adapted from Françoise Dorner’s novel “La Douceur Assassine,” eventually succumbs to sentimentality.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A lumpy three-and-a-half-hour glob of Civil War history.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    They play cotton candy effigies of themselves named Kelly and Justin, and the best that can be said is that they don't embarrass themselves.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    All too soon, Machete Kills collapses into a deranged, directionless splatter comedy that exhausts its bag of tricks, many of them recycled from this grindhouse auteur’s 2010 spoof.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Comic mishap, whose satire already feels out of date.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    The tone of Knife Fight is mean until the movie flips a switch and turns pious and mawkish as Paul tries to make amends for past sins. Whether playing it sleazy or noble, Mr. Lowe brings little emotional weight to his role.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A bubbling crockpot of farcical mush to warm the tummies of anyone who really and truly misses "The Brady Bunch," and I mean really and truly.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Even if it ends on a hopeful note, this is a feel-bad movie that leaves a bitter aftertaste.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Admirably high-minded and visually gorgeous but fatally anesthetized by its own grandiosity.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    A scare movie about gambling addiction, is as grim and lurid as any in the recent spate of films about the evils of crystal meth.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    Annapolis has enough material for an exciting trailer. But that's all the movie really is: a trailer tricked out with protracted boxing sequences and an undernourished romantic subplot that culminates in a single tepid kiss.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Stephen Holden
    As flimsy and manipulative as the shallowest Hollywood fantasy.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Silly, heavy-handed film.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    An empty, farcical blood bath that's virtually shock-free except for one preposterous plot twist.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The movie is so sloppily written and directed that its bits of bluster never cohere.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Ms. O'Neal's Grace is a fluttery Blanche DuBois type who transforms into a ranting madwoman wreaking havoc. Instead of an ax, she wields scissors. From here on, the movie is a grotesquely overacted, ineptly staged screamfest.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The movie acts like screwball comedy, but there are no laughs as Daisy and Jay’s connection lurches toward implausible romance.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    If National Treasure mattered at all, you might call it a national disgrace, but this piece of flotsam is so inconsequential that it amounts to little more than a piece of Hollywood accounting.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Because it unfolds like a garish hybrid of Simon Birch and What Dreams May Come, with some horror-movie touches thrown in to keep us from nodding off, "The Sixth Sense" appears to have been concocted at exactly the moment Hollywood was betting on supernatural schmaltz.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The Book Thief is a shameless piece of Oscar-seeking Holocaust kitsch.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Terminally scatterbrained gangster farce.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    An awkward, long-winded mash-up of therapy session, horror movie and survival tale with pretensions of psychological depth.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    54
    Years from now, if Mark Christopher's timid, meandering film 54 is spoken of at all, it will probably be lumped together with Whit Stillman's ''Last Days of Disco'' as one of two movies released in 1998 to bungle the same opportunity.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    In Good, the anemic screen adaptation of C. P. Taylor's play about a respectable "good German" who passively acquiesces to Hitler's agenda, Viggo Mortensen, miscast and ineptly directed by Vicente Amorim, plays John Halder, a liberal, mild-mannered literature professor who becomes a Nazi.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A comedy that is so scatterbrained and long-winded that much of it feels invented on the spot. (It’s also a half-hour too long.)
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The movie is so incoherent that its screenplay, by Mr. Drolet and Mr. Richards, might as well have been scrawled between takes as it was being filmed.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    An unsalvageable mess.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    You see, this character, who is given no back story, is Life with a capital L. He is the Forneys' guardian angel who rouses them out of their funk. Given the movie's U-turn into allegory, maybe he's supposed to be a punk Jesus. Not even Mr. Gordon-Levitt's unremittingly savage performance can begin to salvage such hokum.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A sloppy, exploitative act of star worship created (if that's the right word for cynical hackwork) around Mr. Lautner, the pouty 19-year-old heartthrob of the "Twilight" franchise.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The story is a clever sitcomy contraption, the dialogue is pedestrian.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Bogus on every level, right down to its half-hearted trick ending.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Robert Kane Pappas’s documentary about scientific experiments in life extension, makes a digressive, disorganized hash of a fascinating topic.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Its narrative continuity is so sketchy and the screenplay so haphazard that the movie doesn’t add up to more than trash, seasoned with pretentious religiosity.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A murky ecclesiastical horror film, may be the nadir of the subgenre that produced "The Exorcist" (at its high end) and "Stigmata" (at its middle-to-low end).
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Plods along in its sloppy, joshing way, it tastes like pasta sauce that has sat on the shelf long after the expiration date on the can.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Corny, suds-drenched movie. The kindest way of looking at this roughly patched-together story is as the cinematic equivalent of the music it memorializes.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Lullaby, the directorial debut of Andrew Levitas, a jack of all artistic trades, is the kind of manipulative, cliché-infested hokum that alienates moviegoers by its insistence on hogging all the tears.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A wooden police thriller that is as dull as it is impenetrable and ultimately beyond ludicrous.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Beyond the lugubrious pageantry, there is no sign of emotional or spiritual life in the film, only windy posturing.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Because all of this looks blatantly unreal, and because the timing of the shock effects is so haphazard, Dead Alive isn't especially scary or repulsive. Nor is it very funny. Long before it's over, the half-hour-plus bloodbath that is the climax of the film has become an interminable bore. [12 Feb 1993, p.C16]
    • The New York Times
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    (Patricia Arquette's) irritated reactions to her dire situation have all the force of a pet owner's whiny complaints when her feline refuses to use the cat box.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A catastrophe worth noting only for the presence of its name cast.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Less a movie than an essay.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    What one word might best describe Payback? How about "loathsome"?
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The movie, like its lovers, is really two films smushed together in the faint hope that sheer incongruity can grind out laughter.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    In this elongated, formula-ridden sitcom posing as a movie, the date-weary Manhattan singles exchanging acerbic banter suggest the tougher, far less intellectual offspring of Woody Allen characters drenched in a whiny Seinfeldian dyspepsia.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The film has no idea of how to develop its one-joke premise. The tepid love scenes are as erotically charged as a home movie of a little girl hugging her Barbie doll, and the satire as cutting as the blunt edge of a plastic butter knife.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Deteriorates into a gory shoot-'em-up gangster movie with a quick-fix ending that leaves many threads dangling. It could have been something more.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A moth-eaten stranded-in-the-desert yarn that throws in every cheap trick in the manual to pump up your heartbeat, is so manipulative that the involuntary jolts of adrenaline it produces make you feel like a fool.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Mr. Edwards, who wrote and directed Land of the Blind (it's his debut film), might counter that the movie is a Brechtian comedy that's not supposed to make literal sense: the big picture is what matters. But the big picture is a mess.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Are they fools or heroes? Because the movie can't decide, neither can we. And without an emotional payoff, Play It to the Bone ends up stranded in serio-comic limbo.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Feels like a movie whose story was slapped together during filming. Its three phases -- Southern pastorale, Sudsville and Kablooie -- don’t really connect.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The worst flaw of Willard is a clunky tone-deaf screenplay based on Gilbert Ralston's original and updated by the director. Barely a line flies by that doesn't land with a wooden thud.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    It is no wonder that the insufferable romantic comedy Happythankyoumoreplease, set in New York, looks and sounds like a flop pilot for a television sitcom.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Can a feature-length movie be built on minutiae like jammed copying machines, unsent business letters and orientation programs for new employees? This innocuous wisp of a film, as weighty as a scrap of fax paper caught in an updraft, suggests that the answer is no.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    You may view Untraceable, as I do, as a repugnant example of the voyeurism it pretends to condemn.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A rancid little nothing of a movie that baldly recycles plot elements of "There's Something About Mary."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    As the movie methodically plods forward on a screenplay (by Shawn Slovo) consisting entirely of clichés and watered-down exposition, it becomes sadly apparent that its only reliable asset is the gorgeous view.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    There are brave, boundary-breaching movies, and there are mad, foolhardy ones. Harry and Max belongs to the latter breed.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Short-circuits the novel's quirky charms and period atmosphere by its squeamish attitude toward gritty circus life and smothers the drama under James Newton Howard's insufferable wall-to-wall musical soup.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    You have to admire the effort its attractive cast expends pumping life into stilted, flowery dialogue that confuses pretentious attitudinizing with profound insight.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Doesn't really know how to end. But if its melodramatic final moments are ludicrous, they don't seriously dilute the acidity of the sour little swatch of urban sociology that has come before.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The movie is so devoid of emotion that its ritualized gore acts as a narcotic. Filmed in shades of red, with a minimal screenplay, Only God Forgives looks like a ghoulish fashion shoot in hell. Three words should suffice: pretentious macho nonsense.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The glum, episodic and unbelievable Arthur Newman is the film equivalent of a dysfunctional computer sloppily assembled from discarded parts of other machines.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Impenetrable mess of a movie.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    As tightly plotted as a standard French farce.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Ultimately as sycophantic as it is needling.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Throughout Happy Hour, observations that mean next to nothing are presented as nuggets of profound enlightenment.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    At a certain point this would-be shocker suddenly jerks into high gear and becomes a blatant, incompetent rip-off of "Psycho."
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    But after 15 minutes, this yellow-orange vision of spiraling circles of hell, snorting devils and demonic shapes continually morphing out of one another, begins to seem redundant and conceptually impoverished.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The steady performances of Tom Wilkinson, playing a kindly priest, and Emily Watson, an angelic mother, in Alejandro Monteverde’s Little Boy do little to offset the cloying sweetness of a movie that has the haranguing inspirational tone of a marathon Sunday-school lesson.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Even by the crude standards of teenage horror, Final Destination is dramatically flat.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    So clogged with kooky gadgetry and special effects and glitter and goo that watching it feels like being gridlocked at Toys "R" Us during the Christmas rush.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The glimmers of wit and carnival humor in the “Fast & Furious” franchise are nowhere to be found in Getaway.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    What a frantically dull spectacle this vanity project is.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Played in a loud sketch-comedy style that might be described as "Gay Mad TV." The haranguing, badly acted farce wears out its comic welcome within half an hour.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Most of the meager charms of the chaotic romantic farce A Guy Thing spring from the deft comic contortions of Hollywood's ultimate nerdy sidekick, Jason Lee.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Death in Love hasn't a drop of humor or hope. Its dull, smudged look makes every environment appear joyless and claustrophobic.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A facile exercise in nihilism posing as an indie "Training Day" with street cred. Don't believe it.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Homecoming is coldly efficient for what it is. But what it is is trash.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Just Before I Go, the directorial debut of Courteney Cox, lurches along a wobbly line between salacious comic nastiness and nauseating sentimentality. The two strains are so poorly integrated that the screenplay (by David Flebotte) feels like pieces from two different projects mashed together with little oversight.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    With the dog days of August upon us, think of this dog of a movie as the cinematic equivalent of high humidity.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    All you really need to know about Say It Isn't So,the latest flatulent noisemaker from the Farrelly Brothers' gross-out comedy factory, is that late in the movie, Chris Klein punches a cow from behind and finds his arm stuck inside.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Mr. Oldman and Mr. Ford are the only actors in the film, directed by Robert Luketic (“Legally Blonde”), skillful enough to navigate the yards of jargon-packed boilerplate in Jason Hall and Barry L. Levy’s thudding screenplay.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    One long, 1980s-style inspirational cliche.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    The screenplay is so haphazardly constructed that when the movie seems to be ending, it refuels with preposterous new developments.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    This misty-eyed Southern nostalgia piece, in treading the line between sappy and sanguine, winds up mired in tear-drenched quicksand.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Turns into a meticulously choreographed bang-by-the-numbers action fantasy that I would accuse of peddling evil if the film weren't so dumb and incoherent.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A movie that knows its audience. Its underlying philosophy might be: why try harder when this is all they expect?
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Despite its occasional flashes of brilliance (every Rudolph film has them), this unsavory stew never comes to a boil.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    This disjointed, desperately whimsical film is simply not funny: not for a minute.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    This portrait of 20-something gay men and their straight friends is a joyless exploration of middle-class deadbeats (with the exception of Ephram) lost in a torpid funk of low self-regard. Because they’'e not rich, there is no sleazy zing of "Less Than Zero"-worthy glamor.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Sadly, Mr. Smith has made a movie so false and blatantly icky that it's the film equivalent of making goo-goo noises and chucking a baby under the chin for 103 minutes. At the end, all you're left with is drool and a mountain of baby powder.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    Ms. Paltrow is not the only star in the film who tries gamely to churn this cinematic glass of diluted skim milk into something resembling butter.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    A shrunken, cowardly movie in deep denial of its true nature, which is far uglier than it is ever willing to admit.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Stephen Holden
    This female revenge comedy is so dumb, lazy, clumsily assembled and unoriginal, it could crush any actor forced to execute its leaden slapstick gags and mouth its crude, humorless dialogue.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Every truly awful movie epic has a point of no return, a moment when the accumulated bad lines and bogus sentimentality become so cloying that the best defense against a mounting queasiness is an awed amusement. The Postman, offers a new opportunity for levity every few minutes after its first hour.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    It is painful to watch an actor as skillful as Mr. Dorff reduced to delivering flat repetitive dialogue that would make any actor look foolish.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Barely watchable.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The movie is so witless and confused in tone that its seedy racetrack clientele only emerge as dim, inarticulate cartoons.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Spike Lee carries his political exasperation beyond outrage into chaos. The carelessness with which he hurls his feelings about hot-button topics onto the screen is the filmmaking equivalent of last-ditch marketing: grab everything in sight, roll it up into a big messy mud ball, and hurl it against the wall, hoping that something sticks.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The only reason I can think of to watch Vivi Friedman's flat, satirical farce The Family Tree - and it's not a good enough reason - is the opportunity to play a game of spot the semi-star.
    • 6 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    This stomach-turning exercise in gratuitous sadism -- wears a nasty smirk on its face right down to its end title comment, "Gotcha."
    • 14 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    One of the worst films to sport the label “romantic comedy.”
    • 7 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    A confusedly misconceived hybrid of interracial buddy comedy and imitation Marx Brothers farce.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Teeters from a noisy sitcom (only one step removed from "The Beverly Hillbillies") to brickbat satire until it collapses in a pool of redemptive mush.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Did I mention that Upside Down is simply awful?
    • 27 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The range of Ms. Locklear's lobotomized acting runs from mild irritation to mild melancholy, expressed without expression.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    If there is any humor to be gleaned from this concept, it is nowhere to be found in a movie so shoddily made that there is little continuity between scenes and not a laugh or even a titter.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    You might reasonably assume that any movie starring Mr. Rourke and Mr. Murray would have to have something to recommend it. But aside from a haunting musical interlude, in which Mr. Rourke, with pathetic ineptitude, mimes playing a trumpet, Passion Play is barely palatable.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    A vile, witless sex comedy.
    • 8 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    As the jaundiced, disjointed, drug-infested story heads toward its dismal conclusion, its reputable actors vainly struggle to infuse the goings-on with a deadpan psychotic zaniness. But even when viewed sideways, Perception is not funny; it's hardly anything at all.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The movie's computer animation is so cut-rate and its direction (by Joe Chappelle) so slack that the attacks are virtually terror-free.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The movie’s most disturbing aspect, of which the filmmakers could not have been unaware, is the physical resemblance between Mr. Elba and Ms. Larter to O. J. and Nicole Brown Simpson. It lends Obsessed a distasteful taint of exploitation.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Beneath its studiedly ugly surface, this bargain-basement answer to "Thelma and Louise" is as loathsome as any mindless, blood-drenched Hollywood action-adventure yarn.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Rarely has a film exhibited a bigger disconnect between urban realism and utter ludicrousness.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Once Ice-T sticks his mug in the window of the couple's BMW and begins haranguing the wife in bad stage dialogue, all credibility flies out the window.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The Hangover Part III, directed by Todd Phillips from a screenplay he wrote with Craig Mazin, is a dull, lazy walkthrough that along with "The Big Wedding" has a claim to be the year's worst star-driven movie.
    • 9 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Might have generated a laugh or two had it not forced the actors into uncomfortable extremes of caricature.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    As this chaotic barrage of muscle flexing, swordplay, fireballs, crude digital effects and comic-book quips hurls itself off the screen, it's like having several garbage cans clogged with stale pizza, lukewarm cola, soggy French fries and greasy, ketchup-stained napkins emptied over your head.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The only heat that rises from the movie is mechanical.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    This catastrophe of a movie zigzags drunkenly between action-adventure and surreal comedy with some magical realism slopped over it like ketchup.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    What Horrible Bosses 2 lacks in nasty repartee, it tries to make up for in poorly staged comedy chases and break-ins. It is the Hollywood equivalent of a rambunctious little boy pointing to the toilet and squealing, “Mommy, look what I made!”
    • 26 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    When a sheriff's deputy (Carla Gugino) visits the house, I Melt With You turns into a ludicrous, cheap horror thriller that sheds any claims to integrity. By the end, you feel nothing, not even contempt.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    What sets this syrupy swatch of kitsch apart from other films peddling a dogmatic religious agenda is the serious money that obviously went into it.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    To say that Justin Zackham’s farce The Big Wedding takes the low road doesn’t begin to do justice to the sheer awfulness of this star-stuffed, potty-mouthed fiasco.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    What does it add up to? Um ... I have no idea and don’t really care. Just because the characters waste their time doesn’t mean you should waste yours watching them circle the drain.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    So lazy and slipshod it confuses the mere flashing of kinky soft-core imagery with naughty fun.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The moment the movie loses its lighthearted spirit is the moment it loses touch with reality
    • 29 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Although the concept seems promising enough, it is undone by disastrous casting decisions and an utter lack of ensemble unity.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    A film that desperately wants to be a music video circa 1983.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Why Mr. Foxx, who was so impressive in "Any Given Sunday," chose to make a movie so boring and idiotic that it barely meets minimal standards of lowest- common-denominator entertainment.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The best and maybe the only use to be made of the catastrophic screen biography Modigliani is to serve as a textbook outline of how not to film the life of a legendary artist.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    It is the kind of film that only a certain breed of cinematic cultist could tolerate. Its grade-school-level acting, for instance, is so rudimentary that it makes the cast of "The Blair Witch Project" (which Ice From the Sun seems to be consciously parodying at times) appear Stanislavskian.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    The queasiness produced by this sentimental weepie builds into a wave of nausea during its interminable finale.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    A preposterous, prurient whodunit.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    Ludicrous, impenetrable and headache-inducing.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 10 Stephen Holden
    More than sad, it's slightly sickening to consider the technology, talent and know-how squandered on Hostage, a pile of blood-soaked toxic waste dumped onto the screen in an attempt to salvage Bruce Willis's fading career as an action hero.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    This strident exposé may gladden the hearts of some anti-’60s conservatives, but it is a shapeless mess steeped in prurience. Its grain of truthfulness, however, is just enough to leave you unsettled in the pit of your stomach.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    The movie... hasn't the foggiest notion whether it's a soap opera or a horror film, and wanders around in a generic fog.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    An excruciating demonstration of the unsalvageability of a movie saddled with an amateurish screenplay.
    • 10 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    Bottom-feeding monstrosity of a comedy.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    With its red lighting and Hades-like smoke and fog, the lurid look of The Big Bang suggests a tacky disco inferno. I have a mental picture of the film's creators, stoned out of their minds on who knows what, cackling crazily as they outline a movie that would have more appropriately been titled "The Big Goof."
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    There is not a laugh to be found in this rancid, misogynistic revenge comedy.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    Ms. Ryan's lean, eagle-eyed golden girl is enough to curdle milk.
    • 9 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    So inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    It's a little sad to see actors of the quality of Christopher Plummer and Jonny Lee Miller struggling straight- faced to dignify this sewage.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    Incoherent mess of a film.
    • 1 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    The Singing Forest was written and directed by Jorge Ameer, whose film "Strippers" opened three years ago and remained the single worst movie I had ever reviewed -- until now.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    No doubt there are those who will deem Simon Birch ''heartwarming.'' It is exactly the kind of movie that has given that hackneyed superlative a bad name.
    • 1 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    Thoroughly incoherent... A dreary fizzle. [12 Jan 1996, p.C12]
    • The New York Times
    • 9 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    Even by the standards of its bottom-feeding genre, Dirty Love clings to the gutter like a rat in garbage.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    For all the cinematic crimes against him, there has been no book-to-screen translation of his work quite as atrocious as Hemingway's Garden of Eden.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    A convoluted, hysterical mess of a movie with grandiose spiritual airs and not a drop of humor.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    This imbecilic, mean-spirited farce, which sneers at adults, leaves you wondering: where are the Three Stooges when we really need them?
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    Putrid comic stew.
    • 5 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    Cheesy, amateurish film.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    It doesn't get worse than Grown Ups, Adam Sandler's sloppy entry into this year's man-child-comedy sweepstakes. Lazy, mean-spirited, incoherent, infantile and, above all, witless.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 0 Stephen Holden
    Mush, delivered with a trembling, quasi-biblical solemnity, is what emanates from Anthony Hopkins most of the time in Hearts in Atlantis, a nostalgic fiasco so shameless it makes movies like "Simon Birch" and "Frequency" seem as austere as the work of Robert Bresson.

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