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Witless Protection
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MPAA RATING: PG-13 for crude and sex-related humor
Starring Larry The Cable Guy, Jenny McCarthy, Peter Stormare, Eric Roberts, Ivana Milicevic, and Joe Mantegna
During a routine day spent patrolling his small town, Larry witnesses a beautiful, high-class woman, Madeleine, being held against her will by four mysterious, black-suited men. Recognizing the opportunity to save the day, Larry "kidnaps" her, only to learn that Madeleine is actually a key witness in a high-stakes Chicago crime case and her captors are FBI agents assigned to protect her. Madeleine is furious. But Larry, who rightly suspects that the agents are crooked and Madeleine is in danger, forces her on a harebrained trip to Chicago to solve the case himself. Together, the hilariously mismatched duo must grapple with angry FBI agents, quack doctors, and Chicago high society in his funniest, most unpredictable adventure yet. (Lionsgate)
| GENRE(S): | Comedy |
| WRITTEN BY: | Charles Robert Carner |
| DIRECTED BY: | Charles Robert Carner |
| RELEASE DATE: |
DVD: June 10, 2008 Theatrical: February 22, 2008 |
| RUNNING TIME: | 97 minutes, Color |
| ORIGIN: | USA |
All critic scores are converted to a 100-point scale. If a critic does not indicate a score, we assign a score based on the general impression given by the text of the review. Learn more...
The average user rating for this movie is 2.2 (out of 10) based on 25 User Votes
Note: User votes are NOT included in the Metascore calculation.
George N. gave it a0:
I walked out after 20 minutes. I cannot believe someone would write, direct, and produce this.
Gerrick C. gave it a3:
It must just be me-- because it seems like all the movies with Larry the Cable Guy really stink. Bad.
David gave it a0:
I will qualify this by saying that i have not seen this movie and there is no way anyone can make me see this trash!! How in the world this guy keeps getting movie deals is beyond me!! There has never been one scene, even in commercials, that has been funny. sigh! No wonder Hollywood is going downhill fast!
Chad S. gave it a0:
Larry the Cable Guy drops trou. Blind people win. They hear, but don't have to see, the man who calls a hapless Muslim motel attendant a "pamper-head". Maybe the Comedy Central funny-man goes totally nude for the same reason that Sarah Silverman confesses to being a teenaged bed-wetter. Both comics defuse their racist monologues by leaving themselves vulnerable through an act of self-humiliation. The Mexicans, as a retort, can shout back at their televisions, "Well, at least I've never wet my bed!" whenever Silverman jokes about their personal hygeine and socio-economic status. "Pamper-head" is pretty brutal, though. "Towel-head" could double as a term of macho endearment like "n****r" does when it's utilized by black people, or people-who-think-they're-black, just because they listen to Jay-Z, but "pamper head" goes too far; it connotates that your head is full of excrement. In another scene, Deputy Larry Stadler(Larry the Cable Guy) gives two airport security-men(an Asian male and a Black female) a bad time when they ask him to remove his shoes at the metal detector. This scenario looks too real to be funny. They forgot the comic-spin. A film such as "Witless Protection" brings the inherent racist subtext in a southern-flavored show like "The Dukes of Hazzard", or in a song like Lynryd Skynard's "Sweet Home Alabama", to the surface. Them Duke boys were probably rednecks, but Enos seemed alright.
J. L. gave it a1:
Despite some usually competent actors in the cast, the best acting in this film comes from the guy sleeping in a chair in the Norm's Garage scene.
John M gave it a10:
Witless Protection is the most funny and surprisingly smart comedy to come out of Hollywood in some time. Liberals will hate this movie, since there are some subtle jabs at the whole culture of modern liberalism. but for the rest of us, it's an extremely enjoyable flick.
Bill T. gave it a0:
plz oh heavenly father do not go see this movie by any means nessacary. Of you do, you will be forever casted off inot an abyss of terrible moviegoers you sick twisted person. Go puke your guts out when you watch this movie and crap out a golden piece of whale semen

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