Oct 20, 2013Teleglitch, simply put, is repetitive, boring, and devoid of both tension and design integrity.
I'm a huge fan of tough Roguelike games, being essentially a games masochist. I loved every second of burning death in the vacuum of space in FTL, and the systematic genocide of my poor, poor ancestry line in Rogue Legacy. I was hoping this game would provide some high octane survival horror, and the crafting and random map elements appealed to me as ways to increase the stress of avoiding death in a dangerous and unknown world.
But tension emerges from glimpses of hope, and teleglitch gives you none. Every room looks almost identical, with future levels offering nothing in the way of new environmental design to offer exploration as a reward for proceeding. Death is sudden and guaranteed, often without any way of avoiding it, such that you don't blame yourself for failure but sullenly accept that you've been had and try again. But you'd be better off not trying, because you really have been had Teleglitch has nothing more to offer you.
Part of this has to do with the level artwork, which quickly goes from simplistic to drab as you realize just how little variety exists. Some more environmental features would have been nice, even cliche ones couldn't we have some lazer tripwires? Maybe an exploding barrel, or a pressure vent to exploit? Or just some place to hide until the bad guys go away? Enemies are equally dull little splotches of muted blue that lurch predictably toward you, all of whom would be utterly nonthreatening if you were given more than a clip of ammo and a knife. Much of the early levels are spent trying to preserve ammunition for the unreasonable enemies of the later ones, which means a lot of knifing. Hours of knifing. And then you get killed when, upon emerging into a later level clad in your painstakingly assembled suit of armor and automatic weaponry, a massive robot sporting a minigun unloads on you before you've even stepped through the door and kills you in less than a second.
And you won't even care. That's the worst part.
As a veteran of roguelikes, let me remind you of something you buy games because you want your heart to beat in your chest as you get so close, so very close, but are punished for your inadequacy at the last minute. You're looking for something that validates your effort, rewarding each success with the risk of failure, and filling in their carefully assembled worlds with equal parts danger and style. Teleglitch will not provide these things for you, because the difficulty is not real it's a fabricated mush of bland backdrops, withered rewards, and randomly distributed death. Death has no relation to you, and there is nothing for you to strive for. Save yourself $12 and give this title a miss.… Expand