Apr 18, 2013Any of you slightly older gamers remember back in the day when there was a fun game where you would play as a little green plastic soldier, and you would fight the tan army? Do you remember having fun going through the large world shooting with all sorts of weapons and having a blast? Even if you didn't enjoy those games, this game will make you yearn for the good ol' 3DO days. If you did enjoy them, this will be a giant fisted, iron knuckled punch into your childhood's kidney.
I am the latter; I have played Army Men games since my elementary school years, and I liked (some of) them greatly. As time went on I played through some of 3DO's mistakes, and still do, and I mean BIG mistakes, which lead them to their downfall. However if all the bad things that 3DO did in their games were to be combined into one, heaping, pile of stink of a game, it would still be more enjoyable then this game here. 3DO went out with a bang slightly with the somewhat passable Sarge's War, but then ZOO decided to troll what little fans were left of the series, and to completely kill off the series as sure as getting hit by a train.
This game as a whole feels like middle school students just learned how to program and decided to make a practice and then had Army Men slapped on it.
The music (if you could call it that) will make you turn the volume to mute, which won't change much since the lack of ambiance kills any life this atmosphere could ever have.
The story (lol) is just annoying, painful, and just boring; it makes even the most cliched, unoriginal, and mindless violent of stories from any of the slew of modern action games are literary masterpieces compared to this.
Graphics are equally horrid; dead, lifeless animations add to the lack of negative interest that you'll have and the models don't help either.
Gameplay is stupid simple and generic, controls feel like you're controlling an overweight elephant (fitting considering the protagonist is an ugly chubby kid) and does nothing to improve.
Unless you're getting paid to take this game off of someone else's hands, don't get it, and even then you should really think hard about it.… Expand