People sometimes talk about Boll's film as "so bad it's good", but actually they're not that good. I've seen two of his films - Alone in the Dark, and one starring that guy who was in Starship Troopers - and I have to conclude that Boll has no sense of empathy, no understanding of human relationships, and a childish sense of drama. His movies look like they were made by someone with the mentality of a sociopathic teenage boy - your typical internet troll, in fact! Funny how the trolls hate him... Jealousy?… Expand

Wasnt a scary movie, story line was stupid, and the characters were inept.

An epic waste of time and money.

Alone in the Dark; it strikes fear in me the fact that every night I live with this complete crap in my DVD collection. I can't believe I bought this waste of film. I swear it's haunted too because I can't sell it for more than 50 cents.

Horrible! Disgusting! Stinks!

Worst of 2005 yet!

Worth crap! No... not even. It was a total waste of time.

How? How in God's name does Uwe Boll have a career? There's a movie called American Movie, about a guy who wants to make a movie really badly. He doesn't sound like the next Kubrick, but Jesus, no matter how bad he is he can't possible compete with Uwe Boll. Mr. Boll, if you're reading this, please, please, I beg you, one filmmaker to another, stop it. Stop it right the hell now. You are not talented. Not in the slightest. Just quit it, you're starting to be sad. My main question is how the person who made the Salton Sea can be struggling to make their next picture, whereas Uwe has a nice career going squeezing out cinematic excrement. What's really astonishing is the fact that his movies has continually lost money. How? I just want to know. Is he rich or something? Independently wealthy like Steve Bing so he can force himself into the movies? Or have the studio execs in Hollywood developed some amazing chronic?… Expand

The only thing even related to this movie that is scary is the fact that Uwe Boll might try to direct another movie. "Alone in the Dark" is every bit diserving to be a top contender for worst movie ever. It's even as astoundingly horrid as Boll's abominable "House of the Dead (another video game adaption that serves only as a terrible insult to the game)." But, I must admit that I am having nightmares. Who wouldn't after watching such an atrocious movie?… Expand

Just as bad as the critics say it is. Good thing I didn't spend any money on it. For an interesting read, check out what the original screenwriters had to go through in dealing with Uwe Boll: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2649

Uve Boll is a hack who takes halfway decent or entirely bad video games and makes them into even worse movies. The man is singlehandedly destroying any chance that any video game has to ever possibly become a good movie. He must be stopped, by force if necessary.

This movie sux. And I mean SUX. One of the worst movis I have ever seen. Dawsons' Creak is a superb one, compared with this bunch of cheap efects, and copied stuf. If you have seen starship troopers, if you have seen alien or if you even like sci-fi a bit, better spend money on a hamburger and coke. Not worth the film rolles it was filmed on.

What the hell was this? How in the SWEET GOD does Uwe Boll get work? He's a complete MORON. I was watching the Making of the movie when he said "The creator of the game contacted me because he said he liked my work on "House of the dead" " I think I damn near cried because I was laughing so hard. And what's even more pathetic is he was PROUD of it. Uwe Boll should never come in contact within a HUNDRED Yards of another movie, ever again. Or even be associated with it. I hope he reads all of these reviews, and Uwe if you are. YOU'RE A MORON.… Expand

This movie will rule the razzies. Worst movie, worst script, worst director, worst, worst, worst, far and away the worst of 2005. Tear your eyes out terrible.

Alone In The Dark is a film starring Christian Slater, Tara Reid and Stephen Dorff apparently based on a Atari video game that I've never heard of. I watched this last night and I'm still scratching my head over it. Where to begin with all of the problems with this movie. In the beginning, God created titles and text, however, he never intended them to be scrolled on a screen and voiced over at the same time...If I wanted to read a book I wouldn't have used my Blockbuster free movie pass. I though this garbage in the beginning of the movie was confusing because of the text and voice-over done at the same time then I viewed it with the sound off, and then I tried to listen without looking at the screen...you know what? It didn't matter. That garbage in the beginning was confusing as hell. Note to Uwe Boll: Never confuse your audience in the opening moments of an action movie... it pisses them off. After we get through all of that nonsense, this film becomes a hodgpodge of poorly edited, incongruous scenes. The film is so bad that it seems out of order. Did anyone who made this realize that there were no big surprises or reveals anywhere in the movie and that there was no mystery because everything that was revealed (the big twists) was explained in the first 20 minutes of the film. The surprises in this movie were about as surprising as finding out that Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader in SW:III. The funny thing about his movie is that I thought it reminded me of a video game and I didn't even know that it was based on one until the end of the movie! Aside from the horrible story, plot, interaction between characters, etc., there are two bright points. One, Christian Slater can act and apparently is the only person in this film who can. He does a very servicable job with very poorly written dialogue and frankly, should be ashamed of this career choice. Second, I must say that the special effects are fantastic and the cg 'monsters' are very believable. But these battle scenes are pointless and they just go on fo ever. I didn't realize that Uwe Boll worked on 'House of the Dead' (...turned that garbage off 20 minutes into it) as well, but I wasn't surprised considering that I was reminded of that abortion while watching this. One thing I can say is that 'Alone' was definitely better than 'House', but that's really not saying much considering I've seen driver's ed. films that were better than 'House'.… Expand

I was really looking forward to renting this on Netflix, since I heard it was the horror film equivalent of 'Showgirls' but alas, it was not. It was just bad...not the 'so bad it is good' variety..just really really bad.

It is SO obvious that a lot of these old critics have not ever even touched a video game. This isn't 1983 guys. Oh, and this movie was terrible. Uwe Boll needs to quit.

I am astounded. This movie makes Gigli look like The Godfather. Uwe Boll is obviously an untalented hack, but what surprises me is that SOMEONE in the funding of this film didn't stop and say "uh...are we sure that putting money into this script is a good diea?" The revelation in this movie is Tara Reid -- here is a film funded by Canadian money, and she can't even learn to pronounce "Newfoundland" correctly when the cameras are rolling. I think there was a time when I thought Tara Reid was attractive. I just can't say that anymore. She is a truly lousy actress and is widely known throughout Hollywood as being dumb as a rock, but she doesn't have the looks any more, either. She is not growing old gracefully, and my guess is that she doesn't have much of a career left, even in films that require little more than a blonde bimbo to fill the screen. In the end, I have to say that I'm glad I saw this really awful film. Whatever mistakes I make in life, however low I sink, however hard I fall...I will at least be able to say to myself "at least I was not involved in the production of Alone In The Dark".… Expand

The worst movie I've ever seen.

Uwe Boll is proof that the Nazis were simply one in a long line of German afronts to humanity. Tara Reid's acting is faker than her breasts and the special effects in this movie are so awful they make her boob job look it was done by the Hand of God in comparison. Christian Slater's career is officially over. Pack it up and buy a house in the Midwest, Mr. Slater; there's no possible way to rebound from this. You'll have to find other places to impersonate Jack Nicholson. Same thing goes for you, Mr. Dorff. You'll have to find some other audience to appreciate the fact that the best thing that can ever be said about your acting is that you come off as an older, uglier, cheaper Christian Slater. This isn't a movie. It's one of those video game music videos. Hopefully this movie accomplishes for numetal as a genre what it will accomplish for the careers of everyone involved: swift and brutal death.… Expand

I still can't believe it was that bad......is this a joke?......no seriously is it?

This movie must have been produced by the same geniuses out there who voted for Bush.

This was totally and utterly stupid.

Thank you, makers of the film, for stealing my $5.50.

Not worth the effort to comment. So bad it makes Plan 9 from Outer Space look like a Shakespearean triumph!

Okay, look if you went and paid to see this in theaters then u probably hated it... I, on the other hand, saw it for free on Showtime and unlike Uwe Boll's other movies this one actually was entertaining. Uwe Boll is a terrible director, and this is his only film that falls into the so friggin bad its entertaining category.

A very nice mix of action, adventure and horror. A good sequel to the 4th game. Very good performance by Christian Slater.

Not perfect, but the closest I've seen since Evil Dead 3! The action was totally totally awesome and the writing was pitch perfect. There was one scary scene where I cried out in surprise and the whole theather laughed at me! I've never been the center of attention like that! It was cool. Afterwards, I announced to everyone that I was the one that they laughed at, but by that time, I guess it had gotten old, because they all just left the theather. Go see this and scream out in surprise, maybe you'll be "a celebrity for a day" like me! WHAT A MOVIEGOING EXPERIENCE! However, I didn't like the font they used in the closing credits, it could have been creepier based on the movie's subject matter! Don't bring your kids! Jasper… Expand

Did you guys see the same move it did>?!>>! I LOVED IT!!! It was scary and full of suspense. You can't trust the critics, 90% of them just read what other critics say without ever seeing the movies. Trust me on this. My brother's best friend works in Hollywood so he knows. All you guys who hated it should go see it again and disregard what the critics said, make up your own mind! Ethan

I tried to get my money back but the refund line was too long!

I'm starting the website www.stopuweboll.com

This is the kind of movie that will unite people. Israelites and Palastinian will comfort each other after spent money to see this dogcrap-on-film. This director MUST be stopped before he makes the "Hunter: the Reckoning". If anyone sees him on the street; run him down. Trust me, it's justifiable.

It sucks. Don't see it. It only gets a 1 because we get to see Tara Reid's cleavage. If the bra had come off in her love scene with Christian Slater, it would have been a 2.This movie features monsters that look like a cheap cross between a Geonosian execution arena beast and the Alien, moving in ways that seem unrealistic even for fanasy. The dialog was so cheesy it belonged on a sandwich.… Collapse

Horrible movie. don't even think of seeing it!

Ive got to give this movie one thing i was happier than ive ever been in my life when it ended.

What the .... happened?!?! I mean, this is just insane. A "Great" director and "talented" actor starring in a film based on a video game, how could this go wrong? Oh wait a a second, the director sucks, Tara is one of the worst actors ever and these kinds of movies usually suck dick. Die, just die Tara and Uwe, die you bastards now!

Oh dear! the movie was so bad it wasn't even funny! just to remember it makes me regret having spent my time watching this piece of crap, instead of cleaning the cats' litter! ugh.

Sometimes a bad movie can be really fun. This one isnt even fun.

Uwe Boll should be tried for crimes against humanity! I mean, honestly! There ought to be a law against doing this to audiences. This is a total waste of film and money. Theres no story or plot. Theres nothing.

Apparently I'm in the wrong career. I need to be a director so I can make terrible movies that bring little return on the money put into them and no respect to their studios, and still have a job. He's making BloodRayne next-I really wish I was joking.

That this was made by Uwe Boll is no surprise. That Slater, Tara Reid and Dorff were so desperate for work that they agreed to star in it is amazing. Most ridiculous part of the movie - Tara Reid as a scientist.

Terrible, TERRIBLE movie, dont waste or money nor time. Only reason I did not rate it 0 was coz de soundtrack and one of the first scens, where the main character tells a little girl to BE afraid of the dark.

For all the bad comments about this movie most do not seem to realize or know this is from an old Atari game. Bad plot, bad plot you scream. It

This is the most ridiculous, repugnant film I have ever seen. Wikipedia states that Uwe Boll considers the end of the film 'Lynchian'. I think this just about perfectly sums up what a deluded, talentless man he is. I watched this film after hearing it referred to one of the worst films ever made. I can't quite put into words how angry it makes me that anyone would have the aestheic sensibilities to allow this film to be made when it could possibly have been stopped.… Expand

This is definitely the worst movie I have ever seen, and quite possibly the worst movie of all time. I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but it's the honest truth. I'm not sure where people are getting the idea that the plot is bad because of the video games, because the movie's plot is completely different. It might not have been such a horrible movie if it were actually based on the video game. But it wasn't based on the video game, and it is a horrible movie. I can't really recommend this movie to anyone. It's not even so bad it's good. It's just plain bad.… Expand

Indeed, the actual game has very little gunplay and is all about the atmosphere. It's the director who managed to turn it into a brainless shoot-fest.

Holy crap. Truly, holy crap. Now, I'm no big fanboy of the Alone in the Dark series, though I have played small bits of all of the games and respect the series for several reason (it was really the frist survival horror game, had incredible atmosphere despite graphical shortcomings, etc.). This movie, and maybe I'm missing something here, but I literally could not see how this movie resembles the games at all. Isn't Carnby some mustached, older detective in the early 1900's? Instead we get Christian Slater with a big ole magnum (cuz that's cool, you see) fighting aliens, or maybe just monsters, from another dimension, or maybe just underground, for something having to do with either wiping out the human race, or maybe just evacuating Vancouver, or... hell I literally do not know. And there's something about putting aliens in orphans spinal cords. Oh, and Tara Reid prounounces Newfoundland "NEW FOUND LAND" and doesn't seem sure if this is just a sequel to My Boss' Daughter with monsters or not. Oh yeah, there's a lot of scenes of people either jumping through windows in slow motion, or, in one great scene, a bad guy pushing a random old guy in slow motion. The sad part is that the medium of video game movies has always sucked, but this seems to be getting closer and closer to the breaking point, where people just won't take it (you can see this in some of the reviews where they take it for a given that a video game related movie will have no plot or brains). The truth, of course, is that basically every video game movie made thus far has been made by either Paul WS Anderson (Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil; a man whose brain must have suffered severe trauma early in life, erasing all creativity centers) or, as in this movie, Uwe Boll (also House of the Dead and the upcoming Bloodrayne; even worse than Anderson. Truly). There are a lot of games that have potential to make very interesting movies, including the upcoming Silent Hill, which I pray won't be crap, but could damn well be. But they won't be made unless the same crap directors aren't allowed to do them. So, uh, yeah. This movie sucked, Eww Bole sucks. See it only for creative uses of slow motion and to realize how damn cool it is to dress in black tank tops and a trenchcoat. Really, it's cool.… Expand

Uwe Boll needs to take his ball and go home.

Another masterpiece by Uwe Boll.

Braindead, stupid, boring, pointless, terrible and predictable.

The worst movie I have ever seen in my life. The most random series of already cliched scenes, but done horribly. Tara Reid's role could have been better-acted by an autistic porn star. I murdered the friend who made me pay to sewe this movie.

Anyone want to start a class actioni lawsuit to get our money back? This movie goes beyond stinker right to biohazard.

Total Stinker.

Easily the worst movie so far of 2005, and the worst American movie since...well, Uwe Boll's last movie, "House of the Dead", which at least had Jurgen Prochnow in it. This one is full of bad acting, most surprisingly from the always good Stephen Dorff. Tara Reid is the worst actress around toady, her line readings so awkward and forced I don't know how she continues to get work. From the American Pie movies to Van Wilder, she is just not a very good actress. Christian Slater sure knows how to make a comeback doesn't he? This movie isn't even really worth summarizing or explaining why I didn't like it. That would take up this entire page. Needless to say it's a dull, boring, unimaginative, cheap-looking, unoriginal and unconvincing action movie that once again proves Uwe Boll is the worst director since Ed Wood.… Expand

Possibly the WORST movie I have EVER seen!! And my list of horrible flicks include: The Son, Uzumaki, The Punisher, Cats & Dogs, Larceny, House of the Dead, Dead End and so on... This movie was a complete waste of my time and money, and I suggest not even renting this at any time in your life... Its really bad. Slater's return is unlikely, and Reid should have stopped with the American Pie series... Uwe Boll leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and rightfully so, his movies are tasteless and tacky.… Expand

I just want to comment on clueless critic Kevin Thomas' blurb. The movie has NOTHING to do with the original PC game, which was a pioneering title in the now ultra-popular survial horror genre. In fact, few survial horror games since have deviated much from the design standards set by Alone In the Dark (which only recently was aquired by Atari). And I'm guessing that few "headbangers", as he put it, ever played it.… Expand

It is a damn good movie and the monster were foreigners terrorits.

I throw up a little into my mouth when I think about how horrendous this movie was. I only give it a 1 b/c I saw it with some friends and we had a good time ripping it to shreds. That was by far the most horrible thing I've ever seen and I am ashamed and saddened that I wasted an hour and a half of my life to this film.

This wonderful movie kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time! I'm not kidding, I could hardly believe how, well, believable the premise was. My grandfather was in a very similar situation in the 50s and acted pretty similiarlly to the hero of the movie. Watch this immediately and enjoy!

Unfortunatly, this is not as awesome as House of the Dead. This movie is certainly fun to go with your friends and make fun of. The dialogue isn't as bad as House of the Dead (shucks) but there's still plenty to laugh at and enjoy. And hey, just remember, you're watching the demise of Tera reed's career. That's kinda fun.

Tara Ereed was REALLY good in the movie! I think she's the hottest! I love that I can now go play the video game about this movie! I saw it at a matinee but I would have spent full price to see this. It's fun and it's a gem! Go team!

I knew this movie would be bad. I read all the reviews. I thought I was ready...I wasn't. It's just impossible to impress upon someone how horrendous this 'movie' truly is. It was like Uwe Boll inserted a thumb into his rectum, got it good and coated, then took that thumb and smeared it across 90 minutes of film. I recommend that even movie-masochists stay away from this film. For every gut-bustingly asinine minute of dialogue or hilariously incomprehensible action there's 10 minutes of absolutely nothing. You have not seen a bad movie until you have seen this. Learn from my mistake, avoid this movie at all costs.… Expand

Supremely idiotic? More like Awesomely Stupid! I loved it! GO watch it and decide for yourself.

Another Uwe Boll masterpiece. Brilliantly nuanced direction full of pathos and empathy for the characters. The way the two leads played off each other was wonderful, and the whole wine metaphor (particulary how the grapes of the Pinot Noir are made reflect life itself) gives the whole movie a deeper meaning.

I can't believe what I just saw.

Could we look at this movie from something resembling a little bit of perspective, please? Yes, it's laughably low-rent, remarkably monotonous (especially the second half), and utterly incomprehensible, even if you managed to make it through the two-minutes-plus introductory narrative crawl. But it's NOT the worst movie ever made (or even in the bottom 500); it's not a crime against humanity; it won't cause cancer, and it won't extend the Iraqi war another 20 years. (And no, I haven't played the acclaimed video game it's based on--but then again, I doubt that too many moviegoers who either praised or slammed Sideways managed to read Rex Pickett's original source novel. And am I the only poster to actually mention Alone In The Dark and Sideways in the same paragraph? Given Christian Slater's propensity of gobbling and spitting out the scenery in movies like Heathers and Very Bad Things, I actually sort of admired his soft-spoken approach to the movie's cardboard action-hero role; ultimately his attempts to inject warmth and depth into the character don't succeed, but hey, nice try, Chris. Tara Reid, however, is totally ridiculous in a role that intentionally tries to channel Rachel Weisz's sexy librarian in The Mummy; never mind that Reid can't play an archaeologist to save her soul...she can't even wear glasses convincingly! (At least Mummy director Stephen Sommers had the good sense to steal from Steven Spielberg; what can you say about a director like Uwe Boll who tries to rip off STEPHEN SOMMERS?!?) I have a bit of a guilty-pleasure affection for the cheesy CGI creatures, which looked to me like the offspring of H. R. Giger's original Aliens and the Smog Monster; Alone In The Dark itself combines the cruddy, zip-budget feel of a Bert I. Gordon mid-70s drive-in feature with one of those mid-60s Euroschlock spy movies, inevitably starring Lex Barker, that eventually found a home a few years later on your local TV station, tucked in between Merv Griffin's or Dick Cavett's late-night talk show and The Star-Spangled Banner. I hate to be in the position of trying to defend this crap; after all, it IS crap, but it's all a matter of degree, and to compare Uwe Boll to the legendary Ed Wood is to clothe Boll with a totally undeserved mantle of immortality for making a movie that, if seen at all, deserves afterwards to be immediately and permanently forgotten.… Expand

Uwe Boll needs to be locked away and never allowed to touch another video-game liscence!

For trying i give em a 2 but there lucky to get even that!!

Absolute crap, one of the worst movies ever released, ever. Special effects, story (story, where?), acting... Everything stinks. Somebody stop Uwe Boll!

Absolutely jaw-droppingly awful. This movie is about as much fun as getting hit with a rock in the dark while you're drunk. If you like this movie, you should not be allowed to vote or drive cars because you are a danger to society, and I pray that you die trapped underneath a massive ice floe alongside Uwe Boll (AKA, "The Master Of Error").

I only watched this movie because I was bored while working on my own RPG based on my novels. I think Christian Slater is a good actor, in general, but this movie was definitely the worst thing he's ever done. Tara Reid is nice to look at, but she's about as convincing a scientist as Jessica Simpson would be. Which is to say, hahaha. The choreography in the opening fight scene was a little off, but not too bad, overall. It's sad that it was apparently the high point of the movie. I'm not sure whether or not I'd consider it worse than Bloodrayne, though the contest is certainly a close one.… Expand

I give this film a lot of credit. It really can't be easy making a horror movie that is this incoherent, but the filmmakers pulled it off, kudos.

I just saw this movie on Showtime and I didn't think it was that bad. Yes, the sloppy acting is a minus, but the plot was really really good the special FX were not that bad. I actually like this film and think Uwe Boll is about 3 films away from being mentioned in the same breath as James Cameron, Ron Howard and Steven Spielberg. I really like this movie. Uwe Boll is a genius!

Uwe Boll = 0

Ridiculous and abysmal can't even BEGIN to describe how amazingly BAD this film is.

Please God make Uwe Boll stop. He's trying to buy the rights to Half-Life now. This may well predicate the biblical Apocalypse. Weep for the future, Carnby. Weep for us all.

This "Uwe Boll" is making games look bad to critics that do not know about games. If Uwe Boll gets its hands on a game that could actually make a great movie, it would be like a .50 caliber shot in the face of the gaming world!

Holy sh.t.

Some of the action sequences were a little entertaining, other than that it was a predictable, boring, cheesy mess.

Saw it because I think Slater is hot. I walked out of the theater cold. This one is bad enough to win awards on being bad.

Absolutely unbelivable. Witnessing a piece of cinema so wildly inept in every way is enough to make one question hundreds of years of the progression of human society. I mean, seriously...what the hell is this garbage? Did the filmmakers think for a moment that even the most plebian audiences would not feel insulted by the ludicrous dialogue, plot holes you could drive a tank from, and an utter lack of logical story progression? Luckily, it seems the filmmakers thought wrong.… Expand

Wow... This 'movie' is an insult to Lovecraft and to the original video game. Not the worst movie i've seen, but probably the 2nd or 3rd one...

This movie had to be one of the worst movies i have ever seen. it doesnt have a plot or even a good ending.

Uwe Boll spits on face of anybode who loves the classic PC game. So...even worst than just trash.

Good Lord, I mean, what can I say that hasn't been already said on every other site out there that talks about Uwe Boll or any of his movies. Hes a Crack pot that doesn't have a clue about movies. Yet he continues to get funding for these peices of crap he calls entertainment. If thats entertainment, then we better include getting nuts scraped with a chesse grator has entertainment aswell. Please anyone reading this go to this site and sign the Petition to make him stop making movies. http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html… Expand

I have to give this movie at least a "1": In the first hour it was somewhat entertaining. Gradually, it became predictable and disjointed. (Imagine cliché mini-suspense-scenes pasted back-to-back illogically, without regard to the storyline.) When the ending came you were left with many unanswered questions. Primarily: "What did the %#&@ did I just watch?!" -and- "Will I ever get that hour and thirty-six minutes of my life back?"… Expand

I could have spent those 96 minutes slamming my head into a sliding glass door.

One of the worst movies ever considering the little good (supposedly good actors/actess). One of those movies, consumers should have the right to get a refund. I have seen a lot of bad movies but this certainly disappointed me.

This movie was not compelling at all. I found myself to be bored during most of the movie. Good job Uwe Boll.

Slater is a likeable actor, as he is in this. But overall the movie's bland and out of proportion. The girl (Tara Reid) is hot, but a BAD actor. And the plot, well there isn't one, the good acting only comes from Slater, he's one of my favorite actors and there's nothing to dislike about him in this. But everything else is just terrible! Terrible CG graphics and (ofcourse) let's not forger Uwe Boll, JUST GIVE UP! He can't make anything good!! However I liked the part where the army guy shouts "get more bodies down here now" I don't know why. Anyway this get 3/10 stars! But what do I know, I liked Doom!… Expand

In my opinion: This is the worst video game film ever made. This film was an abysmal atrocity of cinema; so mind-blowing in failure, it's difficult to comprehend the sheer level of its ineptitude. The storyline is a hackneyed, garbled, and confusing mess. The action scenes are loaded with bad camera angles, lame martial arts fighting scenes, a boring car chase scene, and shootouts that some how made the film worse than it already was. The acting was horrendous in every way. The only actor who should showed some kind of talent was Stephen Dorff, and even he sucked. Christian Slater seemed bored and uncaring about his role. As for Tara Reid, she makes the performances in House of the Dead look Oscar-worthy in comparison. She's nothing more than a ditzy, stupid blonde chick who has glasses so she looks smart, but can't act worth a damn, or show even the slightest bit of intelligence. Avoid this horror film at all costs.… Expand

Really awful. One of the worst films i've ever seen. There wasn't wasn't anything good in it to be honest and it was nowhere near a horror film. I've also found a lot of flaws in it like that time when a possessed(?) person tried to attack this commander person and the main character (i didn't catch the names) shot the person and missed(you could see the bullet streak) yet the person fell down.… Expand

how the hell does uwe boll keep making films??? this is one of the few directors who actually make micheal bay seem good. this movie is nothing even close to the Alone in the dark game . which i played many years ago on the 3DO . the whole movie was just a gaint turd .

I don't know what would be better; a world without Uwe Boll or a world with him. The movies he makes are nothing but fodder for professional critics to stretch their comedy writing chops, and I love to read articles on how much they hate his movies and make fun of them. When I first saw Alone in the Dark, I almost couldn't believe what I was watching. It was like my 8 year old nephew was handed a decent sum of money to make the most "super cool action alien movie of the year!" The whole thing is an object lesson on what not to do in a movie, from the directing, special effects, casting, and sound. It does it all, and it does it all badly to the point of wondering if you're being punk'd by Ashton Kutcher. I can safely say that I found nothing to be redeeming in this movie: from Christian Slater's outfit and dialogue, to the fact that Tara Reid is supposed to be a scientist because she puts on glasses to make her "look smart". They might as well have had her attempt an English accent, but then I'm sure the United States would be forced to apologize profusely for that insult to their country and accent. That being said, I actually love to watch this movie, if only for the chance to laugh. Maybe I'm sick, but movies like these make me appreciate the real gems even more so. Much like Pink Flamingos, I'd say to at least see it once...but bring the brain bleach (or the brain and eye bleach if you watch Pink Flamingos).… Expand

This movie is like made with Uwe Boll's feet; the story has nothing to do with the movie, the cliches are endless and the action scenes makes no sense whatsoever.
Its embarassing to watch this huge pile of shooting guns and the videogame's story is far better from the movie one, while the movie just l ooks like an action steven seagal film with aliens similar to tremors putted on without any logic.Watching a playthrough of the game is way more entertaining than this.… Expand

This is, without exaggeration, a million times worse than any other movie I've ever seen. That said, it has generated some impressively sarcastic "positive" reviews.

this movie is crap. grade a crapage. what i mean by this is that I, unlike the other people that said that this was good, played the original game for the computer, and played the re-make for the xbox 360. (very good console) and found myself transported to a dark and sureal story line with horror, suspence, mystery, and even religous lingo thrown in, and the survival aspect was best ever. this movie on the other hand had little to no suspence, the answer to the mystery was obvious, and the acting........ Is undescribably bad. there is no redeeming qualities in it. the story was nothing like the game, the remake was about the devil rising, and all of it was set in central park new york. the old game was set in a mansion. this one was set in a city. no central park, just a city. Is there anything that i can say that describes how stupid and assonine that is? The answer is no, I can not. And that's just the start of the crap, including the fact that it has the biggest loop hole in the world. So big that the grand canyon is a little crack in the pavement compared to it. At the end of the movie, there is a city that all the residents have been aparently eaten by the monsters. And there are no bodies, or blood. Oh my god. How does that work. If godzilla raged through that city, it would be destroyed. And there might be survivors, but there is no one there, and everything is intact. Great clean up job, guys. I am impressed. It would be like having a house of the dead movie with barely having the house of the dead. Wait, that exists. Okay... It would be like having a resident evil movie with no Chris Redfield, or Jill or wesker. Wait, that exists! What is wrong with movies today!… Expand

With movies like these, if you can handle then it's either a test of your manhood or just plain stupidity. If you finish it you're either a man or just stupid for having watched it in the first place. Take your pick. It could be both.

Acting/characters: Well, I don't need to tell you how bad it is because you've heard it a million times before. The characters are very laughable and they have no motive for doing what they do at all. They make the stupidest choices without any reason at all. The acting is just as bad as the characters. I normally cut actors a bit of slack because bad acting is usually (not always) 50% a bad screenplay and maybe 25% a bad director who controls all of the emotions and acting choices of the actors. But that still doesn't change the fact that everyone in this movie acts as stupid as their characters are. 0/10

Plot: This plot is as nonsensical as you get. You're expected to know a lot of things that you are never told. They attach significance to a lot of things without telling the audience why they are important or what happens if things go wrong. Do the bad guys want to take over the world? Do they want to just kill the good guys and just leave it there? Who is behind it and why? Is the main villain we see just some pawn or a host body or is he the mastermind of all of this? Why do a highly trained army of government secret alien defense soldiers never have to reload and can't hit anything? The plot holes are bigger than George Clooney's head when he won Best Supporting Actor (the same year this came out actually). It was just a mess. Plus the ending just added another giant plot hole to everything. Nice going. I looked on 5 or 6 different websites trying to get a decent plot explanation for this film. I found pretty much nothing. I did find this though. It's as close as we're going to get. 0/10

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/11343-alone



Screenplay: This was the worst part. The screenplay of this film made the acting and the plot very bad. There were many many cringe-worthy lines. I expected to laugh at a lot of the 'serious' lines, but they didn't even deserve that. They sounded like they were written by a drunk 8 year old. 0/10

Likableness: Like I said before, the plot was stupid, the acting was bad, and the screenplay was horrid too. I expected to come in at least laughing at the lines and getting entertainment value that way, but I didn't. Plus the special effects were some of the worst I've seen in a long time. I wouldn't suggest this one (although I don't mind that Irukandji suggested this one to me). It's fun to bash films like this. They certainly deserve it. 0/10

Final score: 0/40 (H)


TRIVIA TIME: 1. The lengthy opening text crawl was added after numerous test audience members said they were confused by the plot.

2. After execs read the green draft of the shooting script, the film got an additional $10 million. Uwe Boll poured the money into special effects.

3. Every piece of body armor worn by the various extra foot soldiers during major battle scenes is paintball body protection made by JT USA.

4. Nuclear Blast spend $30,000 on the soundtrack rights to promote their bands.… Expand