Bitch Slap

User Score
2.7

Generally unfavorable reviews- based on 46 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 7 out of 46
  2. Negative: 32 out of 46

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User Reviews

  1. Oct 5, 2012
    1
    okay, the cast, for the most part, could be outshined by a plank, but you get that all the time in action films, where i DO take issue, is that this sloppy, dumb-as-dog-sh*t 'film' promises one very important thing: ACTION, what is completely missing from this picture: ACTION, it took me two attempts to watch this, and, i won't be spoiling much, but the ending is BORING!!! another majorokay, the cast, for the most part, could be outshined by a plank, but you get that all the time in action films, where i DO take issue, is that this sloppy, dumb-as-dog-sh*t 'film' promises one very important thing: ACTION, what is completely missing from this picture: ACTION, it took me two attempts to watch this, and, i won't be spoiling much, but the ending is BORING!!! another major problem i have, is that they constantly and blatantly use greenscreen all the time, it would be easier just to ACTUALLY FILM ON LOCATION, the plot, or lack thereof, is absurd, no, action films don't put much effort into plotting, but there is a grave problem when there are twelve flashbacks, and only three of them actually explain something, and when they do, it's pointless and tedious as f*ck, the film is just a pathetic excuse to string together some horribly choreographed fight scenes/shootouts/whatever, they put no real effort into this, the only high point in the entire movie is one particular line that is hilarious and kind of badass, and the use of "ultranumb", a great song, near the end of the film, but you can just watch the line on youtube, and download the song, so there is still no point to watch the film, at all, just wait for the next tarantino film... Expand
  2. Oct 1, 2011
    10
    For all men its a must see !
  3. RyanM
    Mar 4, 2010
    10
    Brilliant. Best Girl on Girl action ever! A must see!
  4. JonasD.
    Feb 1, 2010
    1
    Danger Jones... i had to backup your "critique" just to preserve it for future laughs. your intro: "The critics know nothing and fear that which they do not know." is just priceless!!! it seems that since you know pretty much nothing at all, you're completely "fear-free" to totally embarrass yourself. i watched this flick with lots of good will but i just didn't see more than a Danger Jones... i had to backup your "critique" just to preserve it for future laughs. your intro: "The critics know nothing and fear that which they do not know." is just priceless!!! it seems that since you know pretty much nothing at all, you're completely "fear-free" to totally embarrass yourself. i watched this flick with lots of good will but i just didn't see more than a failed attempt to create a "tarantinoesque" trash movie that tried to compensate a lacking story with visual overload. sorry. Expand
  5. GabrielE.
    Mar 1, 2010
    3
    The only good thing about this movie is Lucy Lawless and Renne O'Conor. Overall a very bad movie. Waste of time if you ask me.
  6. KingKool
    Mar 3, 2010
    3
    I agree with review that stated, "Overblown and Underwhelming". Most G-rated lesbian scenes ever. The complete lack of nudity killed this for me. Plus it was about 20 min too long. Also, you can see the "Usual Suspects" ending a mile away. For a film the promises to be outrageous it does not deliver.
  7. Noel
    Mar 9, 2010
    1
    Oh dear! I think Danger Jones worked on the movie! Learn to take criticism and you'll have a happier life.
  8. CommonSense
    Jan 29, 2010
    2
    I don't mind a action movie that doesn't take itself seriously, better yet I prefer them. I watched the movie for about 15 minutes giving it a chance to unfold and I realized that nothing was gonna happen. As I explained I don't mind absurd violence, but this was just really really badly done. It was like watching bay watch with a little more action and a way lower budget. I don't mind a action movie that doesn't take itself seriously, better yet I prefer them. I watched the movie for about 15 minutes giving it a chance to unfold and I realized that nothing was gonna happen. As I explained I don't mind absurd violence, but this was just really really badly done. It was like watching bay watch with a little more action and a way lower budget. I dont like bay watch I've never been able to finish an episode but id rather watch 2 episodes of bay watch then having to watch another 15 minutes of this. I cant find words to define how much this movie sucked. Because I don't believe in givong 0's (aswell as 10's) I'm forced to give it a 1, but because i don't like to appear as in mature as Dong G (who gave a 10! a 10 LOL!) ill give it a 2 instead. I don't mind absurd movies I regularly watch old horror flicks with bad production value and all, but this was...Omg...no words...omfg...and to emphasize it the keeps on zooming in on breast and ass..which might have been the only reason i was able to to watch 15 minutes. If you think bout watching this plz just don't. Get yourself a 1980's soft core pr0n and you'd be better of. Expand
  9. RobD.
    Feb 5, 2010
    1
    Danger, Your review says a lot more about you than it does the movie. Namely, that you're an unconfident ninny that is so bothered that someone disliked a movie you loved that you would use one of the vilest words imaginable to describe them.
  10. James
    May 15, 2010
    9
    I must say, this movie was terrible it sucked, it was aweful. I loved it! For more than an hour, my jaw was agape in utter astonishment about each event that was happening and how everything was being presented. The chicks were hot, the action was hotter, the chicks were hotter-er!
  11. OneAngryHippie
    May 16, 2010
    4
    Bad language, breast close ups and bloody violence. All the ingredients for a z-movie, the only thing missing was bruce campbell. Guilty pleasure of the year for me.
  12. DangerJones
    Jan 16, 2010
    10
    The critics know nothing and fear that which they do not know. If you enjoy true absurdism, this movie will suit you just fine. It is not, as the c**t from the Chronicle (which is a horrible paper anyway!) put it, "garbage". It is trashy, but is done with such love and understanding of the genre; both it's immediate, cheap thrill pull dating back to when "exploitation" became a film The critics know nothing and fear that which they do not know. If you enjoy true absurdism, this movie will suit you just fine. It is not, as the c**t from the Chronicle (which is a horrible paper anyway!) put it, "garbage". It is trashy, but is done with such love and understanding of the genre; both it's immediate, cheap thrill pull dating back to when "exploitation" became a film term as well as the psycho-social implications that such genres and sub-genres have created since their emergence in mass media. It is ridiculous to think that Russ Meyer, Charlie's Angels, Foxy Brown, or even Gidget have nothing to do with current neo-feminist attitudes, PARTICULARLY when you look at how media obsessed and controlled the world is. Don't you think YOUR mom would've been taking martial arts and kickboxing if SHE had had Buffy and Xena as a little girl. All that media analysis stuff aside, it's a low budget, yet epic movie, with tons of boobs and lesbian sex, but almost zero nudity that had me chuckling, yelling at the screen, and a real appreciation for the women on screen's acting abilities. It's already out of theaters, but pre-orderable on DVD, get it! Rent it! Do it! Do it now! Expand
  13. BenT
    Mar 13, 2010
    10
    Brilliant homage to exploitation movies. Naysayers just don't get it.
  14. AlexT
    Mar 25, 2010
    10
    I thought the movie was very sexy and yet funny at the same time and the action was very cool. Also the characters that played Trixie, Helen, and Camero, they were so hot which made the movie even better.
  15. Jun 18, 2016
    5
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Do you like gratuitous violence, **** 'n' ass? course you do, who doesn't. Well what better way to show off some blatant soft porn than in a low-rent, Tarantino/Robert Rodriquez-esque rip-off or clone...but minus the decent acting, effects and everything else. I mean look at that title, it speaks volumes about what your about to head into, you literally can't fail to understand what you should expect from something called this. And its those exact reasons why I decided to watch this movie...translation, sleaze fest...because who doesn't like a good sleaze fest now and then? Oh wait I already covered that angle.

    The plot is actually a slight mix of a few genres for starters. Obviously there is the outrageous, CGI filled, guns 'n' gore side of it which is clearly taking cues from certain Rodriguez movies. But then there is a slightly more noir-ish side to the tale, at times, its not a constant theme but its there. Then you have this clear comicbook- esque vibe about it, obviously more along the lines of 'Kick-Ass' and more so 'Sin City', there are also small nuggets of Bond spoofing going on at times, and finally you that rather obvious grindhouse type quality about everything. So nothing of any originality to be found here lets be honest, although again, if we're honest, this did actually come out back in 2009 so I guess this may have been more original than I'm giving it credit for.

    The story is told with constant flashbacks to previous incidents that slowly build a full picture (gee I wonder where they got that notion from). I guess this could work if the flashbacks were any more coherent that the main plot segments but alas they're not. In fact they don't really add that much to the backstory at all really, they don't exactly clear up any plot holes...but tend to add more if anything! All they seem to do is give the director an opportunity to add in more gratuitous soft porn scenes involving his main female protagonists in different seedy locations, in very tight latex/scantily clad outfits (I'm not overly complaining about that though). You see all of the main plot is based out in the desert, all of the flashbacks are set in gritty, seedy, neon lit bars or alleyways in some city, so they just add seedy **** 'n' ass in a different location.

    The main story is basically a common as muck tale about these three women trying to locate some buried valuable items (not totally sure what actually) in the desert. The valuable items are of course property of some mega violent criminal mobster, who we only in name for the most part, and the three women are of course not entirely who they appear to be. Yep its the old ulterior motive type situation again, with the old twists, turns and back-stabbings that come along with it. The three protagonists are naturally very hot, very sexy, very firm and very delicious. One is an innocent, slightly submissive, weak, brunette stripper. The other is a tough, martial arts knowing, slightly ripped, very suspicious, dirty blonde, mouthy **** Finally, the leader is more of a calm, level- headed, stylish, classy red head who is definitely modelled after the classic, black and white noir detective flicks of the 50's.

    These three pretty much bicker and fight each other for the entire runtime as they try to locate this buried treasure. Every now and then you get the odd character turning up to attempt some level of suspense such as the cute young police officer who amazingly doesn't get f*cked and used, even though you'd bet your last Dollar on it. What we do get is lots of close-ups on the girls faces showing their expressions (for some reason), lots of gunplay and gun sounds, lots of desert, lots of girly sexual innuendos, plenty of lesbian action (and I mean plenty), and a **** of tacky CGI and ultra tacky greenscreen effects. Hell we even get a full on wet t-shirt type sequence where all three women throw water over themselves in slow motion. And what Tarantino/Rodriquez rip-off/clone would be complete without a cute psychotic Asian woman in a micro miniskirt, pigtails and a unique deadly weapon in the form of a razor bladed yo-yo (she also has a very crazy Mad Max-esque partner). Oh and not forgetting the fact they even manage to crowbar in a gratuitous, nun in hot black PVC underwear, sequence too, you know...because its a top rated fetish with pervs (absolutely nothing wrong with that of course, he says with a broad grin across his naughty face).

    Lets be frank here (you can be Bob), as I said at the start we all know what we're getting into with a movie like this. You can see it on the cover, you can see it with the films title, you know what to expect and naturally you get plenty of it. The movie isn't pretending to be anything else, its set out its stall and its sticking to it, and with that I can't fault it really. not on that front. The movie wanted to be a sleazy, grindhouse type flick with bucketfuls of hokey, cartoonish CGI action sequences...and that's exactly what is it, at no point does the film hide from this. So all I can say is, if you enjoyed movies like 'Machete' then firstly you'll know where I'm coming from. Secondly, you'll probably enjoy this as its basically a lower budget version with (probably) more **** 'n' ass.
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Metascore
19

Overwhelming dislike - based on 5 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 0 out of 5
  2. Negative: 4 out of 5
  1. Reviewed by: Joe Leydon
    30
    Overblown and underwhelming, Bitch Slap is a desperately unfunny attempt to satirically recycle cliches and archetypes from sexploitation actioners of the 1960s and '70s within the time-trippy, multiple-flashback framework of a Quentin Tarantino. extravaganza.
  2. Over-the-top -- and ultimately tiresome -- female mud-wrestling, kick-boxing and cat fights in a parody of old exploitation movies.
  3. 20
    In keeping with the film’s giddy superficiality, what’s revealed is a series of sexy poses passed off as character depth. All the backstabbing, shifting alliances and dark motives are held together by adolescent, innuendo-laden dialogue and thick Sapphic overtones.