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Jul 5, 2014This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Blade: Trinity: 1 out of 10: Press reports at the time of Blade: Trinity's release claimed that star Wesley Snipes went off the deep end and tried to kill the director David S. Goyer. Lord knows he could have gotten away with it. Show the jury this movie and let the acquittals fly.
After two better than we deserved films the third Blade is a mess. For one thing the casting director is insane. The good guys consist of Snipes, Gabby Hayes (Kris Kristofferson), Elektra (Jessica Biel), Van Wilder (Ryan Reynolds), a retarded guy, a blind woman and Newt from Aliens.
The good guys have a "club" called the Nightstalkers. (What no Darren McGavin). Biel fights with an overtly plugged iPod playing horrible techno. (I would think being able to hear would be important in hand-to-hand combat) Reynolds's character spouts off endless one liners (most of them remarkably lame) and is saddled with the name Hannibal King. (Also needless to say remarkably lame) and fights with a light saber bow. (Please see above).
Speaking of lame we have the bad guys. We have wrestler triple H (who cannot act), Parker Posey (who cannot speak with the fangs in her mouth) and best of all Dracula (Who calls himself Drake. Thinks he is in a Highlander movie. He is also a pacifist piece of Euro trash that looks like he fell of a Harlequin romance book cover. And is easily the least convincing screen Dracula I have ever scene (I'm including both George Hamilton and Mel Brooks in this equation)).
The script is awful (even if you remove Reynolds's one-liners), the film was edited in a Cuisinart, the continuity was done by the blind girl, and the plot consists of bad guys finding good guys headquarters, then good guys finding bad guys headquarters.
If your still not convinced a contribution to Mr. Snipes potential legal defense fund is in order let me remind you. Parker Posey is the head vampire and has a climatic battle with Van Wilder. You can make the check out to cash.… Expand
May 30, 2013The characters are not bad-ass, just simply bad: annoying, two-dimensional, cliche. Ryan Reynolds and Parker Posey were atrocious in their roles. Dominic Purcell lacked the charisma of being Dracula. The whole story was uninteresting, and lacked imagination. The action remained, but was overused with too much hand-to-hand combat scenes. Overall bad.
Apr 29, 2013If you enjoyed the first two Blades then please do not spoil it watching this. It is so much a cash in on the series it just spoils the early work. Its a shame as there is a Blade movie in here but its just so terribly packaged. Having watched Ryan Reynolds in several other films since this HE CAN ACT and CAN PUT IN A PERFORMANCE. In Blade they just have him as Van Wilder. Trying endlessly to make a funny one liner which really does not go with the film. The supporting cast in general are poor and really do not add to the story line.
The action is very much the same as the other films but I just could not see past the weak plot and really terrible writing of the plot. Terrible end to what could have been a decent trilogy.
Stop here before you kill of the series completely… Expand
Sep 12, 2014Third part of the series - and in my opinion, the weakest. Not that the movie is bad, really, but it lacks a lot, repeating the earlier two parts and failing to make you laugh. The jokes are just too weak, and done for the sake of doing them.
The style is relaxed - even too much so. The character of Hannibal King is a complete joke, Abigail Whistler has no real depth, and Blade is a shadow of himself. Only one who is given a chance to be something is Drake, but given the general structure of the movie, that really doesn't traslate too well.
Altogether, the characters are just thrown in, and whenever something is explained, it is done like tutoring an ignorant child; like a lesson.
There are more than a few slashy remarks, but they seem almost forced and underlined while repeated, losing their effect completely and becoming almost annoying.… Expand
Dec 2, 2013Blade Trinity is pretty bad. I never understood why most of the characters die within minutes of being given a back story, or why half the action sequences take place during the day or why Dracula supposedly is the strongest vampire on earth after Blade has fought both the original vampires, mutant vampires and vampire gods.