Colombiana

User Score
5.5

Mixed or average reviews- based on 127 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 40 out of 127
  2. Negative: 28 out of 127

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User Reviews

  1. Aug 27, 2011
    4
    I wanted to like this movie. Zoe Saldana is gorgeous and very capable in an action movie. For some reason, though, she keeps picking lousy screenplays (like The Losers, which was also not good). Columbiana is well shot and looks great. The pacing is fine. But this screenplay is so corny and full of insipid plot holes and logical leaps that is strains credulity. The director is veryI wanted to like this movie. Zoe Saldana is gorgeous and very capable in an action movie. For some reason, though, she keeps picking lousy screenplays (like The Losers, which was also not good). Columbiana is well shot and looks great. The pacing is fine. But this screenplay is so corny and full of insipid plot holes and logical leaps that is strains credulity. The director is very adept in filming the action scenes and makes good use of the various locations. But you can't get past the stupid script, unless you just don't care how stupid it is. While one must be able to suspend disbelief to go with a number of movies, some movies just push that envelope so badly that it does not work. Luc Besson's heavy handed mitts are clumsily all over this formulaic, corny and predictable story with cliche-ridden villains, which is a shame. Zoe Saldana is almost worth the price of admission, but this would have been better if it were a female "Bourne" or her being the next Lara Croft. As it is this is a pretty movie with a stunning star that is just terrible. Expand
  2. Aug 31, 2011
    5
    A young Colombian girl watches crime lords kill her parents. When she grows up, she becomes Zoe Saldana, a stealth assassin who sets out to reek her revenge. The film spends most of the time watching her complete several elaborate murders. They're interesting, but not especially imaginative or thrilling. Saldana is sexy and strong, but the film is destined to fade into oblivion.
  3. Aug 18, 2012
    6
    There are only so many ways to tell a story of revenge and, I
  4. Aug 29, 2011
    4
    From the director of '' Transporter 3 '' brought us '' Colombiana ''. Do I need to say more ? It's everything that you would expect. A cold blooded assassin, who kills people, who has an another identity, who does awesome spy stuff. She's like Jason Statham's dream wife. Yes, l am a fan of those action movies, but this is just boring and uninteresting. There's more action in the trailerFrom the director of '' Transporter 3 '' brought us '' Colombiana ''. Do I need to say more ? It's everything that you would expect. A cold blooded assassin, who kills people, who has an another identity, who does awesome spy stuff. She's like Jason Statham's dream wife. Yes, l am a fan of those action movies, but this is just boring and uninteresting. There's more action in the trailer then in the movie itself. I didn't see anything new in '' Colombiana '', beside the location. Witnessing her parents death, wanting revenge, I have all seen that before. It's so cliche that I became frustrated and I wanted to punch the director in the face. I felt bad for Zoe Saldana because I liked her in this role and she tried to make it work. The very few actions scenes were great do. I'm giving this movie a 4 out of 10, because Zoe is hot. It's like if all of the sudden action movies are getting boring (last week's '' Conan the Barbarian '' is a perfect example). I hope it won't happen again until December. '' Colombiana '' is not worth seeing. Expand
  5. Aug 27, 2011
    6
    As an action genre film, Colombiana is just a bit above average. Even though dialogue is one-dimensional and stunted and even though the plot is as predictable as the next cookie from the cookie cutter, the elaborate scenes of Zoe Saldana sneaking through ducts and hanging from ledges to assassinate her next target are really fun to watch. When Cataleya was nine years old, her gangsterAs an action genre film, Colombiana is just a bit above average. Even though dialogue is one-dimensional and stunted and even though the plot is as predictable as the next cookie from the cookie cutter, the elaborate scenes of Zoe Saldana sneaking through ducts and hanging from ledges to assassinate her next target are really fun to watch. When Cataleya was nine years old, her gangster father and mother were gunned down by the evil Don Luis and his henchman Marco in her native Colombia. Naturally, she spends the rest of her formative years learning the intense tradecraft of â Expand
  6. Aug 29, 2011
    5
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Great action, crappy ending for the build up. The movie left way too many questions unanswered. 1.) How did she become such a bad ass assassin.? Her uncle sure as hell didn't teach her, although that's what we're lead to believe. But how can I guy that shoots into crowds and by a nearby school teach the art of intelligent killing, when he himself is reckless.

    2.) Is she a killer for hire? It wasn't clear if she killed people that did bad things and people that were connected to her family's killing or all of her murders were connected? 3.) Middle-Aged thinking. The head FBI investigator that was tracking Cataleya couldn't believe that a woman could be behind all of the killings. How could a person in such power, who obviously got to his position for showing some sort of intelligence, think like a man stuck in the middle ages. This error comes down to bad writing. 4.) How can Cataleya, be such a bad ass assassin yet be so stupid? Cataleya over the years had been killing 22 victims and leaving the Cataleya flower imprinted on their chest. This was a way of scaring the people involved in her parents murder and letting them know she's close to killing them. This in turn has a bad reaction as her uncle and aunt are killed because of this. Her recklessness is the only thing she learned from her uncle, yet when her uncle confronts her about the markings, which he was unaware of, he tries to act like he taught her to be better. This error is too a casualty of bad writing. I can go on and on about he plot holes, but as you can see they're very present. The movie got a 5 for the action and sexy Saldana, missed out on a higher score due to the poor writing.
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  7. Jan 31, 2012
    4
    Sometimes abandoning all logic can make an action movie a lot more fun than it would be if done completely straight -- the main problem with Colombiana is that it tries to do both. Unfortunately, this only serves to annoy an audience that should know better. 'The best of both worlds' seems to be Besson and Megaton's mantra for much of the production. They want a strong, capable femaleSometimes abandoning all logic can make an action movie a lot more fun than it would be if done completely straight -- the main problem with Colombiana is that it tries to do both. Unfortunately, this only serves to annoy an audience that should know better. 'The best of both worlds' seems to be Besson and Megaton's mantra for much of the production. They want a strong, capable female action hero, but they also want her to be vulnerable, moral and relatable; they want a thrilling action blockbuster, but they also want it to have emotional depth; they want silly over-the-top fight sequences, but they also want a believable story. It's this kind of indecision that eventually makes the movie just end up being weak as its ideas are spread too thin. Some cohesive and realised writing would lift this choppy, half-baked nonsense into either a kick-ass action-fest, or an artsy revenge thriller. Currently, Colombiana is neither. Expand
  8. Feb 2, 2016
    5
    I would contend that almost any story is a voyage - often a mental one, if not always - and not seldom expressed in a physical one, where the protagonists move from one place to the next as a mirror to their mental journey in which they travel from one state to the other. Just some movies I can name are obvious ones like The Lord of the Rings or Saving Private Ryan. There are lessI would contend that almost any story is a voyage - often a mental one, if not always - and not seldom expressed in a physical one, where the protagonists move from one place to the next as a mirror to their mental journey in which they travel from one state to the other. Just some movies I can name are obvious ones like The Lord of the Rings or Saving Private Ryan. There are less obvious ones like The Third man or the Edge of Tomorrow. And there are even reversed ones like were the main characters are in one place in the way of others travelling.

    While the reason for the journey is actually not the most important part of the journey, it is important enough as it can even have a profound influence due to the state of mind a person is in when the journey starts. Colombiana is a movie where the main protagonist Cataleya is confronted by the violent deaths of her parents. Her state of being is one of assumed innocence: as a nine year old child she sits at the kitchen table of her home, dressed in a neath clean black and white school uniform as violence erupts around her. With a inward turned gaze in her big doe brown eyes she faces the main henchman, who walks up to her, sit downs and talks to her. It is almost a Tarantino moment.

    Almost, as it isn't. For Megaton shows himself to be the lesser of directors by ruining it. Had he started out with this moment it might have captured some of the tension and even made the next scene tolerable. The one in which the nine year old drives a knife through the bad guys hand into the table underneath, then runs through the house, jumps through a small window and descends several storeys while being chased by goons emptying their guns at her.

    What young kid could keep her wits to pull off well considered actions after having experienced the mental shock of her parents deaths, those that triggers her screams for revenge? Only a seriously mentally disturbed one can: a psychopath that has no feelings. So was this presumable innocent child, about to turn into a vengeful assassin, already a cold hearted murderer to start with? Was she already a natural born killer?

    It would have worked if that had been born out in the next part of the movie. We fastforward fifteen years after Cataleya has found shelter with her uncle and demanded to be turned into an angel of death by him. Apparently he has not only the means to provide her with the necessary skills and equipment, but also the will, as is born out by the ludicrous scene in which he pulls out a gun and shoots at random people and cars on a crossing to make the point that anyone can shoot anyone at random, but you can't get away with it. Which he proceeds to do next as he walks out while the police cars drive past. What message that conveys.

    If the next part of the story would have told the journey of Cataleya's demise as psychopath killer- but what psychopath would require the excuse for killing of deaths that occured 15 years ago- or ascension(or downfall) as a human being struggling to get away from her maimed past, it would have been a better movie. It reminds me of the movie Hannah, where Hannah is trained by her father to be that killer Cataleya's is supposed to be, but while Hannah starts to change when confronted by the interaction with 'normal' humans, Cataleya doesn't: she just has sex with them. For the four 'intimate' moments that she has with her lover has two with mainly sex in them. That is not character development, that is pandering to the male audience.

    Megaton drops the ball twice. For without focusing on Cataleya as a person struggling with what she has become, he has to focus on the mayhem. But this is done is such a haphazard manner that the result is silly. In fact it commits the grievous sin of showing the director at work. For when Cataleya turns a corner and doesn't run into a guard once or twice we might say that is sheer luck but if she does it all the time, including opening and closing grates just in time, fitting through ventilation shafts with ease and opening them without a hitch, this is the script being laid bare. That she can do the impossible is because the director wants her to, not because of luck or skill. And this makes a director a weak one. No good magician, and that is what a director is, shows how his tricks work: it takes the magic away.

    Megaton develops nothing. Cataleya's journey is rushed. Her targets are indistinct targets she and we could care less about, unlike the ones the Bride kills in Kill Bill, another avenging angel. And her skills are based on sheer luck, impossible powers and the stupidity of her opponents.

    This movie has virtually nothing to show for it, except for one scene, the ones with the sharks, the acting of Saldana and James who do the best they can with a feeble script, and the song at the end: Hurt by Johnny Cash. But that masterpiece can't save this movie: it only underscores how weak it actually is.
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  9. Jun 23, 2013
    5
    Columbiana had its action, adult themes, and plot, but it wasn't near the standard of a high-quality action movie. Overall, the movie was not bad at all, but definitely not my taste: Unnecessary killing of a tag-killer/assassin with moments of sensitivity and moments of just pure heartlessness isn't very deep at all, in fact, it's on the shallow side of a semi-mainstream action movie.
Metascore
45

Mixed or average reviews - based on 22 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 22
  2. Negative: 3 out of 22
  1. Reviewed by: Marc Savlov
    Sep 1, 2011
    20
    Colombiana is one long megayawn; I'd have garnered more titillating thrills rewatching freckle-faced Russkie sexbomb Natalya Rudakova strut her leggy, sassy stuff in Megaton and Besson's "Transporter 3."
  2. Reviewed by: Tirdad Derakhshani
    Aug 29, 2011
    63
    Colombiana isn't the last word in action movies, but it's a fun ride. And so wrong.
  3. 40
    Luc Besson's Jumping Frog Action Factory looks mighty lame in Colombiana.