User Score
5.3

Mixed or average reviews- based on 328 Ratings

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  1. Nov 4, 2010
    3
    G.I Joe is just an awful awful, movie. It all comes down to one major flaw in the entire movie: the plot is retarded. And I don't mean it like every action movie needs to be Shakespeare, if I wanted that I'd see a play. No, the problem is G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is just way too sincere with being a story-focused movie, wasting alot of time building on the non-existent motivations and traits of it's characters and hammering cliché after cliché into the damn thing. Its just boring for no transparent reason. Furthermore providing a plot twist you are apparently supposed to figure out at the beginning of the movie. Movies like Shoot 'Em Up can get away with a lame plot because it is only an excuse to have non-stop action whereas G.I Joe becomes a pain to sit through . Speaking of the action, it's not even especially good at all. Admittedly I found the Paris car chase scene somewhat entertaining but it takes too long getting there and the final "epic" battle is a mess of parallel events, failing to engage and ending in a pointless 90s-style sequel hint, because that was the best part of Godzilla (1998) right?

    Ice doesn't sink in the ocean G.I Joe writers.
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  2. Sep 29, 2011
    3
    Foolish it is to create "G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra"; a inane movie with dull action and a 7 year-old-can-write-that story. Possibly one of the worst, no, biggest Razzie flicks of the year.
  3. Nov 28, 2011
    0
    What on earth are any of the characters' motivations in this "film"? Cobra Commander goes from being a fresh-faced nice guy to evil meglomaniac genius in the space of a few seconds with no explanation at all. This film is just an excuse to blow stuff up - at which it succeeds. Brenan Fraser is cruelly under-used. Can't believe they stomped on my nostalgia...
  4. Dec 17, 2012
    1
    I... I just don't know what to say. It's been three years and I'm still left speechless.
    This movie is completely juvenile and stupid. And that's pretty much all there is to it.
  5. Jan 27, 2011
    2
    Terrible. The acting was terrible and the CGI was horrific for a movie from recently. Dialogue was really bad too, one to avoid to be honest. Pretty pathetic all round.....
  6. Jun 22, 2012
    3
    There's a lot wrong with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. It has a chronically poor script, terrible acting, some ropey-looking special effects, an overlong running time and a plot that defies logic. It's also more than a little amoral, seemingly glamorising warfare by presenting weapons of mass destruction like massive, colourful toys (in fact, much of the film plays like an extended toy commercial, which I suppose any film funded by Hasbro essentially is). Acting-wise, there's very little to write home about, and performances range from generic to awful. All due credit to Christopher Eccleston for keeping a straight face reading his lines, which are all-too-often unintentionally funny, and the less said about Sienna Miller the better. The best performance comes from Ray Park, and as a silent ninja, he does all his talking with his stunning physicality, and his character's back-story shown in flashback is probably the closest the film comes to presenting actual human emotions. To be fair to director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) his films tend to be much better when they go completely over-the-top, and G.I. Joe is no exception. Clunky and laughable as the first half of the film is, once the action really kicks up a gear or two, there's fun to be had. The power armour chase, the sword fight and Star Wars homage underwater dogfight are all very exciting and entertaining set pieces. Flat and uninspiring though the majority of the film is, G.I. Joe does offer a few cheap thrills, particularly if you're willing to switch your brain off for a while. If it was shorter, a little better written and acted, it might have been a trashy guilty pleasure, but as it is it's just trash that raises an occasional smile, unintentional or not. Expand
  7. Dec 9, 2011
    3
    An average science-fiction with a very, very poor script. I just don't understand why they are making this amount of action films. They are focusing on quantity instead of quality.
  8. Dec 27, 2011
    3
    G.I. Joe - Review! (1.5 stars - no spoilers!)

    I knew it was going to be bad. I didn't know it was going to be as laughably bad as it was. Growing up in the 80's, I have a soft spot for G.I. Joe. It was light and silly, no one ever died, and everyone always parachuted out of their exploding vehicles. This movie seems to try to combine serious military action (heads exploding) with
    lighthearted action (goofy one-liner after just killing 12 people) - the result is as you'd expect, a bit weird. The make-up, cleavage, and one-liners are all impeccable. The action is fast paced. The acting is godawful and dialogue is pathetic. 12 flashbacks were a bit too many. The foreshadowing was painfully obvious. The technology was fantastic and apparently used by soldiers who "didn't know there was a manual". There was even a Joe Training Montage. And I won't even get started on the really stupid love "plots".

    The baroness was hot, and they made sure to show off her assets most of the time, and it was pretty much the lone bright spot. The occasional nod to the series was fairly enjoyable as well. My friend commented that the money used to make the film could have been used to feed the hungry and on medical research. When viewed in that light, it makes the movie seem even worse.

    On a side note, if anyone understands the Duke bubble Gum reference, please let me know. The closest I could come up with is the Duke Nuke'em Reference (which is actually a ripped off They Live reference) Anyway, I can't suggest this movie to anyone, though I am sure fans of the series are going to see it regardless. Have your hopes down. 1.5 stars. Mostly for the Baroness. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/
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  9. Feb 3, 2013
    1
    Bad movie, really really bad, its all i can say, I think it goes without saying why.
    is so boring, stupid and immature. How could pay a large company like Paramount Pictures, 175 million, into something so ugly? Besides, how could act Joseph Gordon-Levitt in a movie so horrible?
    than disappointing, really disappointing.
    and still get to do a sequel, that damn curse. respect for that if
    you like but that's my opinion, is a really bad movie. Expand
  10. Mar 26, 2011
    0
    I don't get it. The movie industry is a business. It is there to make money. It sells products, the movies. Before a product is launched, each and every company on the planet does some sort of research on the profitability of the product. GI Joe is a product, right ? Apparently, the pre-lauch research has been skipped, because if they would have shown this crap to a test audience, they would have learned pretty much instantaneously that this product is not fit to be released. Unbelievable. Expand
  11. Nov 6, 2013
    3
    From beginnign to end I was thoroughly underwhelmed by this movie. There were glaring errors in its represneation of our armed forces (I understand that this is a work of fiction, but Channing Tatum starts the movie not as a Joe but as a legitimate member of the US armed forces--he shouldn't have a goatee).

    The movie takes some serious liberties with the G.I. Joe franchise, and it
    isn't always for the best. The action sequences were over-the-top, even for the source material.

    Aside from a few good lines this movie was painful for me to watch. I kept looking at the clock and wondering when it would end.
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  12. Feb 7, 2011
    1
    I grew up watching the GI JOE cartoons and to me this movie does an injustice to it. First, Ripcord isn't an African American and Scarlett's eye was ALWAYS on Duke. Second, the Baroness had no back history with Duke and she was always about Destro. I'm not trying to get hung up on the love interests here but, the movie made it that way and it was nowhere near accurate. Why deviate from the original backgrounds? The Baroness was cold, calculating and so evil she was always trying to kill Cobra Commander. She was never a good person. Now to the movie. The acting was so bad I felt embarrassed for them all. Just once you had to think they had to be talking while the cameras were off saying "man this script blows, but I need this paycheck". Channing Tatum showed no emotion as Duke whatsoever. Duke in the cartoons became the leader of the JOES and his words compelled his troops to fight and to win. Channing Tatum's acting in this movie only compelled me to write a bad review of it. The CGI was also poor. It's like the technology they used was from 2002. Everything CGI was extremely noticeable. I can deal with CGI and if it's done well I'm more than fine with it but when it's cartoonish and done sloppily that's where I draw my line. Overall, the movie was just plain bad and the acting was second rate except for Ray Park(Snake Eyes) and he's the exception because he didn't say anything.

    Thanks Stephen Sommers, you've ruined GI JOE.
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  13. Apr 23, 2011
    2
    This movie made me hate every character (with the possible exception of Zartan). Good God, this was horrible. I can't really think of anything this movie did right, but they obviously spent a lot of money on bad CGI it, so I won't give it a zero.
  14. Jun 18, 2011
    1
    Horrible, simply horrible. Noisy and relying too heavily on special effect,s G.I. Joe is awful. The acting is sucky, the writing suckier, and the plot overly predictable. An awful adaption of a classic cartoon. If you want to see a movie for special effects, do not see this. Although the special effects may be good, the rest of the movie will leave you in physical pain.
  15. Mar 28, 2013
    4
    It's a bad movie with one fun, over-the-top chase sequence in Paris. The rest of the movie is overly familiar and, because of that, instantly forgettable.
  16. Mar 29, 2013
    2
    G.I. Joe:Rise of Cobra lacks the vision of a fun action-packed Hasbro adaptation. It provides sloppy scenes and visuals, and has no fun to its tone. Its messy direction provided terrible performances and annoying cast. Rise of Cobra fails on all levels.
  17. Jul 6, 2013
    1
    I admit that I wasn't big into G.I. Joe as a kid, but with that said from my memories of the cartoon and the fact that just as a stand alone movie this film is awful.
  18. May 28, 2013
    2
    This is the worst movie Iv'e ever seen in years! G.I. Joe is a classic and this film just takes a huge dump on it like its better than it! DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!
  19. Jul 5, 2013
    2
    Oh yeah, it's cheesy, but at least it knows it. In fact, this film makes no apologies for it! The basic plot is simple (of course) Good guys vs the evil mega-tycoon with his evil scientist side-kick, brainwashing, throw in some current technological buzzwords (nanomites!) and blow everything up. The acting is appalling, almost as if the actors were told not to try too hard.
    Having said
    all of this, it is a pop-corn action film. I guess that if you are looking for big special effects, a whole lot of running around, impossible stunts and basically not having to think for 2 hrs, then this film is for you. Expand
  20. Nov 20, 2013
    1
    this is a terrible movie,the only thing that i didn't but 0 on this film was because it had some regular scenes of fight,but that's all the rest of the movie is a crap.
  21. Nov 16, 2013
    2
    Rise of the Cobra slithers into sheer idiocy.
    The plot is so slothfully slow, and remarkably poor I honestly don't know how it was approved by the studio. The acting is terrible and the special effects aren't impressive. A long awful action "movie".
Metascore
32

Generally unfavorable reviews - based on 25 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 25
  2. Negative: 12 out of 25
  1. Reviewed by: Dan Jolin
    40
    Bond without the style and Team America without the bellylaughs. The moronic script and nonsensical plot are good for a snicker, though.
  2. Reviewed by: Richard Kuipers
    70
    While thesping is not the main game here, having a cast of bright young things certainly helps, and Quaid gets in a few nice John Wayne-like moments as the no-nonsense boss.
  3. Reviewed by: Richard Corliss
    30
    The only collateral damage is in the audience, where, as you sit through the movie, you can feel your IQ drop minute by minute.