User Score
5.3

Mixed or average reviews- based on 328 Ratings

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  1. Nov 4, 2010
    3
    G.I Joe is just an awful awful, movie. It all comes down to one major flaw in the entire movie: the plot is retarded. And I don't mean it like every action movie needs to be Shakespeare, if I wanted that I'd see a play. No, the problem is G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is just way too sincere with being a story-focused movie, wasting alot of time building on the non-existent motivations and traits of it's characters and hammering cliché after cliché into the damn thing. Its just boring for no transparent reason. Furthermore providing a plot twist you are apparently supposed to figure out at the beginning of the movie. Movies like Shoot 'Em Up can get away with a lame plot because it is only an excuse to have non-stop action whereas G.I Joe becomes a pain to sit through . Speaking of the action, it's not even especially good at all. Admittedly I found the Paris car chase scene somewhat entertaining but it takes too long getting there and the final "epic" battle is a mess of parallel events, failing to engage and ending in a pointless 90s-style sequel hint, because that was the best part of Godzilla (1998) right?

    Ice doesn't sink in the ocean G.I Joe writers.
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  2. Sep 29, 2011
    3
    Foolish it is to create "G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra"; a inane movie with dull action and a 7 year-old-can-write-that story. Possibly one of the worst, no, biggest Razzie flicks of the year.
  3. Nov 28, 2011
    0
    What on earth are any of the characters' motivations in this "film"? Cobra Commander goes from being a fresh-faced nice guy to evil meglomaniac genius in the space of a few seconds with no explanation at all. This film is just an excuse to blow stuff up - at which it succeeds. Brenan Fraser is cruelly under-used. Can't believe they stomped on my nostalgia...
  4. Dec 17, 2012
    1
    I... I just don't know what to say. It's been three years and I'm still left speechless.
    This movie is completely juvenile and stupid. And that's pretty much all there is to it.
  5. Jan 27, 2011
    2
    Terrible. The acting was terrible and the CGI was horrific for a movie from recently. Dialogue was really bad too, one to avoid to be honest. Pretty pathetic all round.....
  6. Jun 22, 2012
    3
    There's a lot wrong with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. It has a chronically poor script, terrible acting, some ropey-looking special effects, an overlong running time and a plot that defies logic. It's also more than a little amoral, seemingly glamorising warfare by presenting weapons of mass destruction like massive, colourful toys (in fact, much of the film plays like an extended toy commercial, which I suppose any film funded by Hasbro essentially is). Acting-wise, there's very little to write home about, and performances range from generic to awful. All due credit to Christopher Eccleston for keeping a straight face reading his lines, which are all-too-often unintentionally funny, and the less said about Sienna Miller the better. The best performance comes from Ray Park, and as a silent ninja, he does all his talking with his stunning physicality, and his character's back-story shown in flashback is probably the closest the film comes to presenting actual human emotions. To be fair to director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) his films tend to be much better when they go completely over-the-top, and G.I. Joe is no exception. Clunky and laughable as the first half of the film is, once the action really kicks up a gear or two, there's fun to be had. The power armour chase, the sword fight and Star Wars homage underwater dogfight are all very exciting and entertaining set pieces. Flat and uninspiring though the majority of the film is, G.I. Joe does offer a few cheap thrills, particularly if you're willing to switch your brain off for a while. If it was shorter, a little better written and acted, it might have been a trashy guilty pleasure, but as it is it's just trash that raises an occasional smile, unintentional or not. Expand
  7. Dec 9, 2011
    3
    An average science-fiction with a very, very poor script. I just don't understand why they are making this amount of action films. They are focusing on quantity instead of quality.
  8. Dec 27, 2011
    3
    G.I. Joe - Review! (1.5 stars - no spoilers!)

    I knew it was going to be bad. I didn't know it was going to be as laughably bad as it was. Growing up in the 80's, I have a soft spot for G.I. Joe. It was light and silly, no one ever died, and everyone always parachuted out of their exploding vehicles. This movie seems to try to combine serious military action (heads exploding) with
    lighthearted action (goofy one-liner after just killing 12 people) - the result is as you'd expect, a bit weird. The make-up, cleavage, and one-liners are all impeccable. The action is fast paced. The acting is godawful and dialogue is pathetic. 12 flashbacks were a bit too many. The foreshadowing was painfully obvious. The technology was fantastic and apparently used by soldiers who "didn't know there was a manual". There was even a Joe Training Montage. And I won't even get started on the really stupid love "plots".

    The baroness was hot, and they made sure to show off her assets most of the time, and it was pretty much the lone bright spot. The occasional nod to the series was fairly enjoyable as well. My friend commented that the money used to make the film could have been used to feed the hungry and on medical research. When viewed in that light, it makes the movie seem even worse.

    On a side note, if anyone understands the Duke bubble Gum reference, please let me know. The closest I could come up with is the Duke Nuke'em Reference (which is actually a ripped off They Live reference) Anyway, I can't suggest this movie to anyone, though I am sure fans of the series are going to see it regardless. Have your hopes down. 1.5 stars. Mostly for the Baroness. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gi_joe/
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  9. Feb 3, 2013
    1
    Bad movie, really really bad, its all i can say, I think it goes without saying why.
    is so boring, stupid and immature. How could pay a large company like Paramount Pictures, 175 million, into something so ugly? Besides, how could act Joseph Gordon-Levitt in a movie so horrible?
    than disappointing, really disappointing.
    and still get to do a sequel, that damn curse. respect for that if
    you like but that's my opinion, is a really bad movie. Expand
  10. Mar 21, 2011
    7
    Decent adaptation of G.I. Joe, but could've been better. Special effects needed much work. Thankfully, Snake-Eyes was so awesome that I was actually interested in the movie.
  11. Mar 26, 2011
    0
    I don't get it. The movie industry is a business. It is there to make money. It sells products, the movies. Before a product is launched, each and every company on the planet does some sort of research on the profitability of the product. GI Joe is a product, right ? Apparently, the pre-lauch research has been skipped, because if they would have shown this crap to a test audience, they would have learned pretty much instantaneously that this product is not fit to be released. Unbelievable. Expand
  12. Nov 6, 2013
    3
    From beginnign to end I was thoroughly underwhelmed by this movie. There were glaring errors in its represneation of our armed forces (I understand that this is a work of fiction, but Channing Tatum starts the movie not as a Joe but as a legitimate member of the US armed forces--he shouldn't have a goatee).

    The movie takes some serious liberties with the G.I. Joe franchise, and it
    isn't always for the best. The action sequences were over-the-top, even for the source material.

    Aside from a few good lines this movie was painful for me to watch. I kept looking at the clock and wondering when it would end.
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  13. May 5, 2013
    10
    Thoroughly entertaining. Lots of action involving cool high-tech toys. Love the motorcycle chase. Animated, but on rails nonetheless. Hot chicks but cleavage is never enough. It feels just like the real-life version of the comic book heroes. Overall, I enjoyed the non-stop thrill ride from start to end.
  14. Feb 7, 2011
    1
    I grew up watching the GI JOE cartoons and to me this movie does an injustice to it. First, Ripcord isn't an African American and Scarlett's eye was ALWAYS on Duke. Second, the Baroness had no back history with Duke and she was always about Destro. I'm not trying to get hung up on the love interests here but, the movie made it that way and it was nowhere near accurate. Why deviate from the original backgrounds? The Baroness was cold, calculating and so evil she was always trying to kill Cobra Commander. She was never a good person. Now to the movie. The acting was so bad I felt embarrassed for them all. Just once you had to think they had to be talking while the cameras were off saying "man this script blows, but I need this paycheck". Channing Tatum showed no emotion as Duke whatsoever. Duke in the cartoons became the leader of the JOES and his words compelled his troops to fight and to win. Channing Tatum's acting in this movie only compelled me to write a bad review of it. The CGI was also poor. It's like the technology they used was from 2002. Everything CGI was extremely noticeable. I can deal with CGI and if it's done well I'm more than fine with it but when it's cartoonish and done sloppily that's where I draw my line. Overall, the movie was just plain bad and the acting was second rate except for Ray Park(Snake Eyes) and he's the exception because he didn't say anything.

    Thanks Stephen Sommers, you've ruined GI JOE.
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  15. Mar 19, 2011
    6
    I doubt many people will agree with me on this one, but at least hear me out before voting my review down. I actually went to see this movie near the end of its theatrical run, well after hearing and reading all of the negative feedback. I decided to see it any way because it was one of the last few movies in theatres that I hadn't seen that summer. I had a choice to see G.I. Joe, or some chick flick that my mom was going to see. I chose G.I. Joe for obvious reasons. It turned out to be a pretty big surprise. I definitely liked this one better than Transformers 2, and I did like Transformers 2. Going into it with low expectations turned out to be a very good thing. There were complaints about the quality of the CGI, but I didn't have any problems with it. G.I. Joe was actually a fun summer blockbuster. If anyone went to see it expecting an intellectual experience, it's your own fault you missed it. There were also alot of complaints that important G.I. Joe material from the cartoon and comics was missing, but you have to understand that this should really be considered a prequal. It's the "Rise of Cobra". I think the sequal is going to be what everyone was hoping this one would be, now that Cobra has risen. And dispite what people hated about the movie, there were some nice flashbacks that filled in all the gaps, and the end was a nice lead into part two. I also liked that Stephen Sommers had a few cameos of a few of his Mummy stars. Speaking of The Mummy, that's the type of feel this movie has. The material is obviously cheesy, but it's all about having fun while you're watching it. They never took the movie too seriously, and to most viewers that was their downfall, but in my opinion it paid off. The story was obviously bull **** otherwise it wouldn't be G.I. Joe. But the story was told from beginning to end with no missing pieces. Maybe its just me, but I didn't see any plot holes that went unfilled by the time it wrapped up. So overall the story is pretty solid, to me. If anyone disagrees (I'm sure that's pretty much everyone), at least we can take comfort in the fact that the writers of Zombieland are preparing the script for the sequal. As well as the scripts for the Deadpool spin-off and Zombieland 2. I'd give it a 75%. Expand
  16. Apr 23, 2011
    2
    This movie made me hate every character (with the possible exception of Zartan). Good God, this was horrible. I can't really think of anything this movie did right, but they obviously spent a lot of money on bad CGI it, so I won't give it a zero.
  17. Jun 18, 2011
    1
    Horrible, simply horrible. Noisy and relying too heavily on special effect,s G.I. Joe is awful. The acting is sucky, the writing suckier, and the plot overly predictable. An awful adaption of a classic cartoon. If you want to see a movie for special effects, do not see this. Although the special effects may be good, the rest of the movie will leave you in physical pain.
  18. Aug 25, 2014
    8
    Better than I dared to hope. The plot was good, although got a little dull near the end. Witty lines here and there actually stood out as entertaining rather than clichéd expressions. In general, this movie doesn't differ much from other action movies when it comes to the structure of the plot, but this film kept it pretty well together.

    The animation had a lot to hope for in some
    scenes, which was kind of surprising considering that some scenes managed to look really good and realistic.

    The cast was pretty good, although there were a few people I would have replaced by someone else. For one, I just can't take Marlon Wayans seriously - not after seeing him in his role in "Dungeons and Dragons"; he's such a clown and not to be taken seriously with that tone of voice. Ever.

    Christopher Eccleston was his own good self, and Sienna Miller was surprisingly cool. Channing Tatum did what he was supposed to, being the hero but not more than that. Ray Park had the best character in the movie to play - Snake Eyes - alhough he never got to talk or to show his face. Byung-hun Lee's Storm Shadow got the award of the best looking character in the film; I couldn't stop staring at him.

    There were nice side-plots tying a lot of characters together, introducing them in flashbacks that were pretty well timed with the rest of the plot. This also offered some of the best twists and turns later on.
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  19. Mar 30, 2013
    7
    Muy entretenida. Perfectos efectos especiales. Te hace revivir aquéllos tiempos de Marvel o Hasbro. Un Duke guapísimo como Channing Tatum. Una Scarlett (Rachel Nichols) con un físico y atuendo que nos recuerda a la Viuda Negra. Estupendas localizaciones. Por fin una aventura que no sucede en New York, estando muy bien escogido París.
  20. Mar 28, 2013
    4
    It's a bad movie with one fun, over-the-top chase sequence in Paris. The rest of the movie is overly familiar and, because of that, instantly forgettable.
  21. Dec 18, 2012
    5
    Ultimate action thril ride
  22. Mar 29, 2013
    2
    G.I. Joe:Rise of Cobra lacks the vision of a fun action-packed Hasbro adaptation. It provides sloppy scenes and visuals, and has no fun to its tone. Its messy direction provided terrible performances and annoying cast. Rise of Cobra fails on all levels.
  23. Apr 5, 2013
    5
    G.I Joe is a not so good action movie. So unrealistic movie and the special FX are not good. The actors are better then the plot, I like Channing Tatum a lot and Snake Eyes is such a nice character.
  24. Feb 19, 2013
    5
    The acting was like power rangers.
  25. Feb 17, 2013
    8
    I really think the Critics are blind- gi joe rise of the cobra was the ultimate thrill ride..... Every single actor nailed it! I mean the story is good it's fast paced! Not every movie has to be critically acclaimed... I give this movie 8/10, must watch... Set aside the review, which totally suck.
  26. Mar 3, 2013
    6
    Some of these reviews are a little too harsh. I'm not saying it was'nt corny or a little too unbelievable. But it was very entertaining and the If-le Tower scene was my favorite part. Overall, it was pretty good.
  27. Jul 6, 2013
    1
    I admit that I wasn't big into G.I. Joe as a kid, but with that said from my memories of the cartoon and the fact that just as a stand alone movie this film is awful.
  28. Apr 17, 2013
    9
    I don't see how anyone could call this movie worse than Retaliation. This one is just better in every single way. Sure there are some mistakes, but I can live with them. One of the best movies I have ever seen, shame they made such a mess of Retaliation.
  29. May 28, 2013
    2
    This is the worst movie Iv'e ever seen in years! G.I. Joe is a classic and this film just takes a huge dump on it like its better than it! DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!
  30. Jul 5, 2013
    2
    Oh yeah, it's cheesy, but at least it knows it. In fact, this film makes no apologies for it! The basic plot is simple (of course) Good guys vs the evil mega-tycoon with his evil scientist side-kick, brainwashing, throw in some current technological buzzwords (nanomites!) and blow everything up. The acting is appalling, almost as if the actors were told not to try too hard.
    Having said
    all of this, it is a pop-corn action film. I guess that if you are looking for big special effects, a whole lot of running around, impossible stunts and basically not having to think for 2 hrs, then this film is for you. Expand
  31. Feb 8, 2014
    8
    A great movie with a high amount of action. G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra got an awesome beginning, and the movie overall also contains much energy, and I really enjoyed it! The movie is well made, and the actors are okay, but not super great, and the guy that played Dukes was just horrible, he was just so irritating and bad at everything. The story is a little weired at some places, but the music thought, is awesome. This movie is also very cool, and it contains many unique and awesome things that I never have seen before.
    The bad thing about this movie is that it's a little silly and lengthy at some places, and it might have been to much action in this movie, and I can't believe I just said that! The special effects are great and G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra is an awesome, exiting, stunning and a great action movie, that got a high amount if action at a high tempo, and I really recommend it for all the action-lovers out there, even though the actors aren't that great and that the story is a little weird.

    G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra get's a 8/10
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  32. Nov 20, 2013
    1
    this is a terrible movie,the only thing that i didn't but 0 on this film was because it had some regular scenes of fight,but that's all the rest of the movie is a crap.
  33. Nov 16, 2013
    2
    Rise of the Cobra slithers into sheer idiocy.
    The plot is so slothfully slow, and remarkably poor I honestly don't know how it was approved by the studio. The acting is terrible and the special effects aren't impressive. A long awful action "movie".
  34. Aug 6, 2014
    7
    G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra: 7 out of 10: I think I may have liked this movie less had I not recently sat through the two and a half hour opus that is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. GI Joe is like Transformers with a coherent plot and a half an hour of stupid removed. (Notice I said half an hour not all.) First, let us get the ugly out of the way. GI Joe is no longer “A Real American Hero” instead it is a group of foreigners led by Dennis Quaid and answerable to well nobody as far as I can tell. While I understand the change from a cowardly international marketing point of view, it really is a sad state of affairs. However, since all the real heroes turn out to be Americans after all and the bad guys are mostly foreigners from despot countries like Scotland and Japan, it is less jarring of a change than one would suppose.

    If you can get past the fact the GI Joe Corps is a secret international army (no doubt enforcing the upcoming one world order), has weapons more advanced than the US troops and yet is still inexplicably called GI JOE. (I had assumed at some point Dennis Quaid would declare it is a lame acronym such as Global Initiative something something Expedition alas to his credit he does not.) You still have to deal with some of the casting choices.

    While I am not overly familiar with the GI Joe mythos, I did see a major flaw on the Joe side. Channing Tatum simply does not look or act like Duke. Now Duke is the main character and everyman of the Joes. If you are familiar with the Duke Nukem video game, think that guy with less one-liners and **** bar visits. Channing simply does not have the charisma or presence to pull of the character and the script does not give him much help.

    The other character the script torpedoes is The Baroness. She is the bad girl of the GI Joe universe and is played brilliantly by Sienna Miller (It really helps to hire great actors for these roles sometimes). The storyline unfortunately softens the Baroness to the point that by the end Duke is carrying her out of the exploding bad guys headquarters in his arms. (The bad guys lose. I hope that is not a spoiler in a movie called G.I. Joe) The other main characters are well represented. Marlon Wayans plays the black comic relief in the form of Ripcord (Dukes buddy). Normally I am aghast at the ethnic comic relief but Wayans pulls it off with aplomb. Rachel Nichols might seem a strange choice to play a smart woman, but she certainly looks the part and the whole Scarlett is an intellectual meme has clearly been toned down. She and Wayans have a romance that while safe for the kids may make adults in the audience dislocate their ciliary muscle.

    Rounding out the cast is a bunch of foreigners, Dennis Quaid, Jonathan Pryce as the President and an uncredited Brendan Fraser.

    The movie has a video game feel and I mean that in the most complementary way. The weapons are out of a Sci-fi shooter. The Joes wear suits cribbed directly from the video game Crackdown (Complete with the same powers); the very well shot action sequence in Paris will be quite familiar to any old school players of Twisted Metal 2.

    The finale is right out of any Roger Moore James Bond film. This is old school fun action, well shot, with a plot a seven year old could follow. There is some back-story and attempts at depth, but needless to say it is perfectly safe to turn your brain off for a few hours and enjoy the show.

    The plot is as follows. Bad guys steal evil weapon (Nanobite missiles). Good Guys get weapons back. Bad guys invade good guys headquarters killing cute blond and stealing missiles, Bad guys use missiles on unimportant foreign city (Paris) to show they mean business. Good Guys have their badges take away and are ordered to report to base. Good guys go to bad guys base instead. Good guys destroy bad guys underwater Arctic base by blowing up the icecap causing the underwater base to be crushed by the falling ice... hold on... falling ice???? Yes, apparently in the GI Joe universe the concept that ice floats is just another unproven liberal egghead theory like evolution or the female orgasm. I guess that is what happens when you have a redheaded bimbo play your science officer. (Moreover, do not get me started on the chasing ballistic missiles with an airplane part.) The stupid is strong in this one... but so is the fun.
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Metascore
32

Generally unfavorable reviews - based on 25 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 25
  2. Negative: 12 out of 25
  1. Reviewed by: Dan Jolin
    40
    Bond without the style and Team America without the bellylaughs. The moronic script and nonsensical plot are good for a snicker, though.
  2. Reviewed by: Richard Kuipers
    70
    While thesping is not the main game here, having a cast of bright young things certainly helps, and Quaid gets in a few nice John Wayne-like moments as the no-nonsense boss.
  3. Reviewed by: Richard Corliss
    30
    The only collateral damage is in the audience, where, as you sit through the movie, you can feel your IQ drop minute by minute.