Positive: 0 out of 4
Mixed: 0 out of 4
Negative: 4 out of 4
The sumptuous production values and stirring performances that make the equally brutal Game Of Thrones so irresistible are nowhere in evidence in Battle For Blood, which has all of Thrones’ savagery, but none of its mystery.
The title's promise of violence is dutifully met in gory, sonically squishy close-quarter melees shot in Confuse-o-vision, as if the camera had been strapped to a whirring blender before the footage was edited with the puree button.
Writer-director Jonathan English’s dank-looking film delivers enough amputations, decapitations and other instances of rusty-bladed gore to distract undiscerning genre fans stuck between seasons of “Game of Thrones,” but serves no other obvious purpose.
Aug 4, 2014I have never been so changed as a person by a cinematic feature such as this movie.
Without it I don't know where I'd be today. But I'dI have never been so changed as a person by a cinematic feature such as this movie.
Without it I don't know where I'd be today. But I'd probably not have to be forced to have my friend type down everything I say because I can't type on the keyboard. No no no. I know what you're thinking. "Wow! This dumb*** doesn't know how to type on a keyboard LOL!" Well, I do. It is just more difficult now that I'm blind. Yes. That's right. I'm blind. This god-forsaken movie was so bad that it made me blind.
You might be thinking about how rough my life is now, but don't you worry! Without my blindness, I wouldn't be able to "accidentally" walk in the girl's locker room without the excuse of "Oh sorry! I'm blind. Oops that's not a door knob! That's your boob!" without getting in trouble.
With that being said...
Would see again .... oh wait.… Expand
Jan 4, 2015How anybody can suffer more then 5 minutes of this production is an absolute bewilderment? This film's mislabeling, a parody?
UponHow anybody can suffer more then 5 minutes of this production is an absolute bewilderment? This film's mislabeling, a parody?
Upon opening, suffering through an underground bare fist brawl??? This happening in an historic period of bloodsport, where bears dogs wolves where prevalent, and most other gladitorial weaponry. A real thumbs down. Seeing the brawlers in skin tight leather pants, finally managing to acquire weapons after bets, further committing those unseen age restrictions. However the rest of the bar circle, are not using a traditional shield wall. Because they all want to get hacked, have been placing their bets with bingo chips.
Within the next 5 minutes seeing bra's in chain mail, duvets and duvet pillows, pyjamas, and a seemingly endless list upon further expansion of error. Although most importantly those other trog like band camp features found in make a hipster movie productions. When upon totally exploiting the genre with incongruous ludicrous absurdity.
Avoid at all cost.... They certainly have....… Expand