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38Would it have been that much more difficult to make a movie in which Tom and Sarah were plausible, reasonably articulate newlyweds with the humor on their honeymoon growing out of situations we could believe? Apparently.
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50Murphy in particular deserves better, but at least she got a boyfriend and a paycheck out of the deal. No such benefits await those who sacrifice both cash and time to see this movie.
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58Collapses into the most generic sort of teen movie-ville, just at the moment it's convinced you that its lightly appealing stars are capable of better.
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38Sitcomish, stereotypical and sporadically funny romantic comedy.
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50Had a chance to be not just OK, not just fluff, but something special, and it's a shame that the people making it either didn't realize it or didn't have the guts to take this movie where it wanted to go.
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38Reasonably painless if you've never seen a comedy about the travails of newlyweds.
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0Even in the month of January, traditionally a time for movie lovers to expect the worst, this cheapo feature, directed by Shawn Levy, takes the stale cake for witlessness.
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10Don't even consider this when it hits the Blockbuster shelves of shame.
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50Not without some stupidly funny moments.
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50A forced screwball comedy for teenagers, partly redeemed by Brittany Murphy's giddy performance.
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30Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy are attractive and skilled performers as the film's newlyweds, but the movie is so mechanical it's like watching Barbie and Ken dolls going through the motions.
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25Most of the incidents are harmlessly derivative, but the movie has a mean streak that undermines our empathy for the characters, particularly Tom.
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50This mostly vulgar, but never explicit, comedy resolves itself surprisingly, revealing depth just when you think it's going to continue its skip across the shallows. In other words, Just Married might not be good, but it's just good enough.
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40The groom is a doofus, the bride has genuine screwball talent -- It's too bad that the movie is so disappointing.
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10You know a movie is in trouble when its biggest laughs come not from its lead players but from a dog and a car
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20Director Shawn Levy brings a yeoman-like joylessness to the project, spoiling whatever fun might have been had. Kutcher and Murphy seem game enough, and it's a testament to their charisma that they're the hardest element of the film to hate.
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40Anyway, you will be glad that they have found each other, and eager to wish them a long and happy life together -- somewhere else, as 95 minutes in their company is plenty.
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50The sloppy charms of Just Married don't exactly break new ground, but they don't make you want to swear off romantic comedy forever, and in these "Maid in Manhattan" days that's saying something.
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50Overall, Just Married doesn't really take -- it has a shelf life about as short as the disastrous honeymoon -- but in the moment, it's cute, if corny. It'll do.
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40The filmmakers themselves betray a lack of knowledge about the Old World, while unfailingly repeating physical hijinks one time too many.
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30Dude, where's the script? Just Awful.
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30The film's only sparks are generated by Tom's last-ditch attempt to win back Sarah's affections, but they come too late to redeem the picture from its surfeit of over-the-top physical comedy and low-brow jokes.
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25Just Married is what industry people refer to as "January Junk," cinematic flotsam that gets tossed ashore once they have cleared the shelves of Oscar contenders.
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10Unlike Reese Wither-your-spoon, stagy Murphy actually does deserve her own "Philadelphia Story," or "Singin' in the Rain." She's obviously a camp genius (see "Clueless," not "8 Mile"), but this dopey script, topped with too-pretty Kutcher's rote 70's Show blowups, ain't it.
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63In the end, a few genuinely funny moments aside, the script is simply too predictable and unvarying to earn the viewer's loyalty.
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40Like a head on collision between some nice performances and a really stupid plot.
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30As long on violent slapstick as a Three Stooges retrospective.