Machete Kills
Machete Kills Image
See the trailer
Metascore
41

Mixed or average reviews - based on 33 Critics What's this?

User Score
6.5

Generally favorable reviews- based on 26 Ratings

Your Score
0 out of 10
Rate this:
  • 10
  • 9
  • 8
  • 7
  • 6
  • 5
  • 4
  • 3
  • 2
  • 1
  • 0
  • 0

Critic Reviews

Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 33
  2. Mixed: 19 out of 33
  3. Negative: 8 out of 33
  1. The Playlist
    Reviewed by: Gabe Toro
    Oct 9, 2013
    83
    Like its predecessor, Machete Kills is never less than busy with ridiculousness.
  2. Village Voice
    Reviewed by: Amy Nicholson
    Oct 8, 2013
    70
    Kills tops the 2010 original by not giving a mierda about logic or character.
  3. USA Today
    Reviewed by: Scott Bowles
    Oct 10, 2013
    50
    Machete Kills dulls more than anything. It's not that Robert Rodriguez's sequel lacks any of the camp or exploitative violence of the 2010 original. The mayhem has just become boring.
  4. Variety
    Reviewed by: Geoff Berkshire
    Oct 3, 2013
    40
    As violent as its predecessor yet noticeably duller and less outrageous, Machete Kills is dragged to the finish line entirely by its director’s madcap energy and an absurd cast of major stars in strange cameos.
  5. The Guardian
    Reviewed by: Mike McCahill
    Oct 11, 2013
    40
    The odd vivid shot reminds you of Rodriguez's dynamic visual imagination, but also what it's wasted on here: a project as indifferent as some of the trash that inspired it.
  6. Austin Chronicle
    Reviewed by: Marc Savlov
    Oct 9, 2013
    40
    It works extremely well as a drunken, date-night midnighter or film-fest entry, all madcap bloodletting and surrealist non sequiturs.
  7. New York Magazine (Vulture)
    Reviewed by: David Edelstein
    Oct 7, 2013
    20
    The carnage (with its computer-­generated splatter) is meant to be campy fun, but it’s so offhand that there’s less suspense than in an Austin Powers movie.

See all 33 Critic Reviews

User Reviews

Write a Review
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 4 out of 7
  2. Mixed: 2 out of 7
  3. Negative: 1 out of 7
  1. Thegodfatherson
    Oct 11, 2013
    10
    Guns don’t kill. Machete Kills! Actually, the opening scene of this bizarre sequel to the even bizarre-er 2010 original Machete shows that gununs do kill. They just don’t kill Machete (Danny Trejo), whom you’ll recall from the first film survived a shot to the head when the bullet was blocked by another bullet, already lodged in his skull. Machete Kills continues director/co-writer Robert Rodriguez’s penchant for outrageous plot developments performed by “what-the?” casting choices. Mel Gibson plays a villain straight out of a Bond film Moonraker, to be precise. Charlie Sheen (listed in the credits by his birth name, Carlos Estevez) follows in his father’s footsteps as the U.S. President. And Lady Gaga is introduced as “whoever she wants to be.” Name your box-office poison. If Fatty Arbuckle were still around, he’d have a cameo for sure. Yet somehow, the results work. That’s probably because Rodriguez takes nothing seriously. The plot which could fit on the back of a cereal box, but only the really sugary kind involves a Mexican madman (Oscar nominee Demian Bichir) who wants the U.S. to clean up the corruption in his country, or he’ll fire a nuclear warhead at Washington. (Apparently he’s been reading Madman Tactics for Dummies.) President Sheen, or Estevez, or whatever, calls on Machete to help. “You know Mexico,” he tells the taciturn strongman. “Hell, you are Mexico.” Helping him will be a government agent played by Amber Heard. Her cover identity is beauty pageant winner Miss San Antonio, but has the operative gone too deep into character? In one scene she texts Machete: CU There! More about the story I cannot reveal. It’s not that I’m against spoilers; I just wasn’t sure what was going on most of the time, although whatever it is, it’s as funny as a roadrunner cartoon and only about 2.5 times as violent. Machete faces off against La Camaleón, a shape-shifting assassin played by a bewildering array of actors (Cuba Gaga Banderas Jr., etc). He crosses paths with Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), whose 32F brassieres pack a 38-calibre punch. (You’ll never guess where she keeps her backup firepower.) He hooks up with former partner Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who sports a sexy eye patch and has a feminist revolutionary poster on her wall that reads Shé. And he makes use of a road-tunnel under the U.S.-Mexican border, stolen directly from 2009’s Fast & Furious. The movie runs for 107 minutes but features a ticking-clock timeline that allows it to pack more into 24 hours than, well, 24. And it opens with a fake trailer for Machete Kills Again In Space! At least, I think it’s a fake trailer. You may recall that the first Machete sprang from just such a bogus teaser, attached to 2007’s Grindhouse. So while Machete likes to say “Machete don’t” lines Machete don’t smoke, tweet, joke, etc. the one thing Machete seems destined to do is return.… Expand
  2. kark
    Oct 12, 2013
    9
    The film is very steep, it is saturated with militants 80 years, clean trash, which of course, is not like a movie worth seeing everyone!Excellent continuation of the first film, all the critics are going to hell!… Expand
  3. StriderKiwi
    Oct 11, 2013
    9
    What an amazing movie. It's so freaking ridiculous, even more so than the original in all the right ways. The action is great, bloody and creative. The plot is so bonkers and unpredictable you'll always be wondering what will happen next, the casting is excellent and many of the many many maaaaaany characters are likeable and they have some epic lines. Machete Kills is the most fun I've had at the cinemas since Pacific Rim. If you and your friends want to have a good, absurd time, then this is the movie for you.… Expand
  4. papanez
    Oct 13, 2013
    8
    As a fan of the first Machete film I really liked this movie. Great escapism over the top fun as well as a good parody of the grind house type films I saw as a teen in the 70's at local theaters both drive-in and otherwise. My only complaint about this movie was the lack of gratuitous female nudity. Hopefully Mr. Rodriguez will make up for this in the next installment "Machete Kills Again... in space!" Looking forward to that one. Ignore the negative reviews! This is a fun, entertaining film; it doesn't take itself too seriously and nor should the viewer, Watch it and enjoy!… Expand
  5. analogkid280
    Oct 11, 2013
    5
    Machete suffers from too many co-stars and drags on and on. It also ends abruptly. There are a few things I would of done differently in the editing room too. Enough hate though, this movie does have some good qualities. One of them is Charlie Sheen (Estevez!) as the president of the free world. Of course Machete is the front man for this ensemble of characters that keeps the movie flying along at a roadrunners pace. I liked the first one a lot!!!! This one was entertaining as grind-house cinema but not much more.… Expand
  6. Movie1997
    Oct 13, 2013
    4
    For a movie like this, it's all just based off of this joke. If you're into the joke, then you'll absolutely love this movie. But if you're not, then you'll completely hate "Machete Kills". Overall, while it's suppose to pull off this cheesy old look, it's still not that good of a movie. Be sure to check out my YouTube channel "TheMovieManLife" for all things movies.… Expand
  7. seymore23
    Oct 13, 2013
    0
    This was the worst movie I have ever seen in the theater in my entire life. And that is saying something. Whatever political or social themes this movie wanted to convey...it confused itself with the absurd to the point that there is nothing here to really watch. And I'm saying this as a fan of the first one which was a very sexy movie. The sequel is not sexy, has no nudity, and makes no sense. It tries (but fails) in any attempts at humor, has an uneven plot, and the action simply does not compare to the first one. Maybe some movies just shouldn't be done again. It seems like a third one might be in the works. They are milking this one dry, but when it all becomes about the money...quality is the true cost that is lost.… Expand

Trailers

Showtimes

To get showtimes near you, enter your zip code.
Find showtimes on the go with our iPhone app.

Current Movie Releases

Full List »
96 Gravity
83 Captain Phillips
81 The World's End
75 Rush
74 Prisoners
72 The Grandmaster
66 Lee Daniels' The Butler
66 Don Jon
66 You're Next
61 Metallica: Through the Never
55 Instructions Not Included
49 Riddick
44 The Family
44 Jobs
41 Machete Kills
41 Kick-Ass 2
40 Insidious: Chapter 2
36 Runner Runner
33 The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
22 Getaway
All Current Movies »