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Mixed or average reviews - based on 33 Critics What's this?

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6.0

Mixed or average reviews- based on 152 Ratings

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Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 33
  2. Negative: 8 out of 33
  1. Reviewed by: Gabe Toro
    Oct 9, 2013
    83
    Like its predecessor, Machete Kills is never less than busy with ridiculousness.
  2. Reviewed by: Amy Nicholson
    Oct 8, 2013
    70
    Kills tops the 2010 original by not giving a mierda about logic or character.
  3. Reviewed by: Scott Bowles
    Oct 10, 2013
    50
    Machete Kills dulls more than anything. It's not that Robert Rodriguez's sequel lacks any of the camp or exploitative violence of the 2010 original. The mayhem has just become boring.
  4. Reviewed by: Geoff Berkshire
    Oct 3, 2013
    40
    As violent as its predecessor yet noticeably duller and less outrageous, Machete Kills is dragged to the finish line entirely by its director’s madcap energy and an absurd cast of major stars in strange cameos.
  5. Reviewed by: Mike McCahill
    Oct 11, 2013
    40
    The odd vivid shot reminds you of Rodriguez's dynamic visual imagination, but also what it's wasted on here: a project as indifferent as some of the trash that inspired it.
  6. Reviewed by: Marc Savlov
    Oct 9, 2013
    40
    It works extremely well as a drunken, date-night midnighter or film-fest entry, all madcap bloodletting and surrealist non sequiturs.
  7. 20
    The carnage (with its computer-­generated splatter) is meant to be campy fun, but it’s so offhand that there’s less suspense than in an Austin Powers movie.

See all 33 Critic Reviews

Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 16 out of 39
  2. Negative: 12 out of 39
  1. Oct 11, 2013
    10
    Guns don’t kill. Machete Kills! Actually, the opening scene of this bizarre sequel to the even bizarre-er 2010 original Machete shows thatGuns don’t kill. Machete Kills! Actually, the opening scene of this bizarre sequel to the even bizarre-er 2010 original Machete shows that guns do kill. They just don’t kill Machete (Danny Trejo), whom you’ll recall from the first film survived a shot to the head when the bullet was blocked by another bullet, already lodged in his skull. Machete Kills continues director/co-writer Robert Rodriguez’s penchant for outrageous plot developments performed by “what-the?” casting choices. Mel Gibson plays a villain straight out of a Bond film Moonraker, to be precise. Charlie Sheen (listed in the credits by his birth name, Carlos Estevez) follows in his father’s footsteps as the U.S. President. And Lady Gaga is introduced as “whoever she wants to be.” Name your box-office poison. If Fatty Arbuckle were still around, he’d have a cameo for sure. Yet somehow, the results work. That’s probably because Rodriguez takes nothing seriously. The plot which could fit on the back of a cereal box, but only the really sugary kind involves a Mexican madman (Oscar nominee Demian Bichir) who wants the U.S. to clean up the corruption in his country, or he’ll fire a nuclear warhead at Washington. (Apparently he’s been reading Madman Tactics for Dummies.) President Sheen, or Estevez, or whatever, calls on Machete to help. “You know Mexico,” he tells the taciturn strongman. “Hell, you are Mexico.” Helping him will be a government agent played by Amber Heard. Her cover identity is beauty pageant winner Miss San Antonio, but has the operative gone too deep into character? In one scene she texts Machete: CU There! More about the story I cannot reveal. It’s not that I’m against spoilers; I just wasn’t sure what was going on most of the time, although whatever it is, it’s as funny as a roadrunner cartoon and only about 2.5 times as violent. Machete faces off against La Camaleón, a shape-shifting assassin played by a bewildering array of actors (Cuba Gaga Banderas Jr., etc). He crosses paths with Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), whose 32F brassieres pack a 38-calibre punch. (You’ll never guess where she keeps her backup firepower.) He hooks up with former partner Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who sports a sexy eye patch and has a feminist revolutionary poster on her wall that reads Shé. And he makes use of a road-tunnel under the U.S.-Mexican border, stolen directly from 2009’s Fast & Furious. The movie runs for 107 minutes but features a ticking-clock timeline that allows it to pack more into 24 hours than, well, 24. And it opens with a fake trailer for Machete Kills Again In Space! At least, I think it’s a fake trailer. You may recall that the first Machete sprang from just such a bogus teaser, attached to 2007’s Grindhouse. So while Machete likes to say “Machete don’t” lines Machete don’t smoke, tweet, joke, etc. the one thing Machete seems destined to do is return. Expand
  2. Nov 11, 2013
    10
    How can this man stand in front of this great selection of superstars? I mean looking at his face makes me just think "where's my pimple pick?How can this man stand in front of this great selection of superstars? I mean looking at his face makes me just think "where's my pimple pick? yack!" but in the next moment all these models come and the peak of stupidity I can only see watching Germany's Helge Schneider. It's a hard trial for my tolerance in irony, it's such a trash movie that I must look for the next hard drink to feel like a real MAN. Oh how ridiculous! Go away! Trejo! Does humour belong in sinkholes? Expand
  3. Feb 19, 2014
    9
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. If you want a smart and artistic film this is not your movie, but if you want fun and violence, can be better than the most of Hollywood movies,
    Si lo que tu buscas es una película inteligente y artística enserio esta no es tu película, pero si lo que tu buscas es diversión y acción puede que resulte mejor que la mayoría de las películas de Hollywood
    Expand
  4. Dec 29, 2013
    5
    Not as good as the original, but worth seeing if you liked the first one. Notable for the jokes far more than the action sequences. CharlieNot as good as the original, but worth seeing if you liked the first one. Notable for the jokes far more than the action sequences. Charlie Sheen is a hoot as the president. Expand
  5. Apr 14, 2015
    4
    Robert Rodriguez's imagination and sense of humor is at full speed which is what holds Machete Kills back from being good. He's usually goodRobert Rodriguez's imagination and sense of humor is at full speed which is what holds Machete Kills back from being good. He's usually good at making B movies that poke fun at themselves but here B, stands for bad. Machete Kills is over the top goofy throughout. Even a kooky Mel Gibson with a Mad Max tribute scene can't save it. Expand
  6. Dec 5, 2013
    3
    This sequel is so bad I questioned whether or not I even liked the first movie. I want to post spoilers to help you save money but I won't.This sequel is so bad I questioned whether or not I even liked the first movie. I want to post spoilers to help you save money but I won't. Avoid this gigantic troll of a movie. Collapse
  7. Jan 13, 2014
    0
    Honestly, I liked the first film enough to give this one a shot and I hated it. It just was not good at all. I can deal with the poor acting,Honestly, I liked the first film enough to give this one a shot and I hated it. It just was not good at all. I can deal with the poor acting, generic plots, and terrible special effects but honestly, I expected something at least watchable/entertaining and this was neither. Expand

See all 39 User Reviews

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