Machete Kills

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41

Mixed or average reviews - based on 33 Critics What's this?

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5.9

Mixed or average reviews- based on 173 Ratings

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Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 33
  2. Negative: 8 out of 33
  1. Reviewed by: Gabe Toro
    Oct 9, 2013
    83
    Like its predecessor, Machete Kills is never less than busy with ridiculousness.
  2. Reviewed by: Amy Nicholson
    Oct 8, 2013
    70
    Kills tops the 2010 original by not giving a mierda about logic or character.
  3. Reviewed by: Scott Bowles
    Oct 10, 2013
    50
    Machete Kills dulls more than anything. It's not that Robert Rodriguez's sequel lacks any of the camp or exploitative violence of the 2010 original. The mayhem has just become boring.
  4. Reviewed by: Geoff Berkshire
    Oct 3, 2013
    40
    As violent as its predecessor yet noticeably duller and less outrageous, Machete Kills is dragged to the finish line entirely by its director’s madcap energy and an absurd cast of major stars in strange cameos.
  5. Reviewed by: Mike McCahill
    Oct 11, 2013
    40
    The odd vivid shot reminds you of Rodriguez's dynamic visual imagination, but also what it's wasted on here: a project as indifferent as some of the trash that inspired it.
  6. Reviewed by: Marc Savlov
    Oct 9, 2013
    40
    It works extremely well as a drunken, date-night midnighter or film-fest entry, all madcap bloodletting and surrealist non sequiturs.
  7. 20
    The carnage (with its computer-­generated splatter) is meant to be campy fun, but it’s so offhand that there’s less suspense than in an Austin Powers movie.

See all 33 Critic Reviews

Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 15 out of 40
  2. Negative: 12 out of 40
  1. Oct 11, 2013
    10
    Guns don’t kill. Machete Kills! Actually, the opening scene of this bizarre sequel to the even bizarre-er 2010 original Machete shows thatGuns don’t kill. Machete Kills! Actually, the opening scene of this bizarre sequel to the even bizarre-er 2010 original Machete shows that guns do kill. They just don’t kill Machete (Danny Trejo), whom you’ll recall from the first film survived a shot to the head when the bullet was blocked by another bullet, already lodged in his skull. Machete Kills continues director/co-writer Robert Rodriguez’s penchant for outrageous plot developments performed by “what-the?” casting choices. Mel Gibson plays a villain straight out of a Bond film Moonraker, to be precise. Charlie Sheen (listed in the credits by his birth name, Carlos Estevez) follows in his father’s footsteps as the U.S. President. And Lady Gaga is introduced as “whoever she wants to be.” Name your box-office poison. If Fatty Arbuckle were still around, he’d have a cameo for sure. Yet somehow, the results work. That’s probably because Rodriguez takes nothing seriously. The plot which could fit on the back of a cereal box, but only the really sugary kind involves a Mexican madman (Oscar nominee Demian Bichir) who wants the U.S. to clean up the corruption in his country, or he’ll fire a nuclear warhead at Washington. (Apparently he’s been reading Madman Tactics for Dummies.) President Sheen, or Estevez, or whatever, calls on Machete to help. “You know Mexico,” he tells the taciturn strongman. “Hell, you are Mexico.” Helping him will be a government agent played by Amber Heard. Her cover identity is beauty pageant winner Miss San Antonio, but has the operative gone too deep into character? In one scene she texts Machete: CU There! More about the story I cannot reveal. It’s not that I’m against spoilers; I just wasn’t sure what was going on most of the time, although whatever it is, it’s as funny as a roadrunner cartoon and only about 2.5 times as violent. Machete faces off against La Camaleón, a shape-shifting assassin played by a bewildering array of actors (Cuba Gaga Banderas Jr., etc). He crosses paths with Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), whose 32F brassieres pack a 38-calibre punch. (You’ll never guess where she keeps her backup firepower.) He hooks up with former partner Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who sports a sexy eye patch and has a feminist revolutionary poster on her wall that reads Shé. And he makes use of a road-tunnel under the U.S.-Mexican border, stolen directly from 2009’s Fast & Furious. The movie runs for 107 minutes but features a ticking-clock timeline that allows it to pack more into 24 hours than, well, 24. And it opens with a fake trailer for Machete Kills Again In Space! At least, I think it’s a fake trailer. You may recall that the first Machete sprang from just such a bogus teaser, attached to 2007’s Grindhouse. So while Machete likes to say “Machete don’t” lines Machete don’t smoke, tweet, joke, etc. the one thing Machete seems destined to do is return. Expand
  2. Oct 11, 2013
    9
    What an amazing movie. It's so freaking ridiculous, even more so than the original in all the right ways. The action is great, bloody andWhat an amazing movie. It's so freaking ridiculous, even more so than the original in all the right ways. The action is great, bloody and creative. The plot is so bonkers and unpredictable you'll always be wondering what will happen next, the casting is excellent and many of the many many maaaaaany characters are likeable and they have some epic lines. Machete Kills is the most fun I've had at the cinemas since Pacific Rim. If you and your friends want to have a good, absurd time, then this is the movie for you. Expand
  3. Oct 26, 2013
    8
    Machete Kills is a insane and frequently hilarious sequel that is as over-the-top as it is bloody and stands its own against its predecessor.Machete Kills is a insane and frequently hilarious sequel that is as over-the-top as it is bloody and stands its own against its predecessor. Though this film was intended to be bad, critics seem to have forgotten that, which is a great shame. The acting is great and the pace is break-neck. This may did have some somewhat unnecessary scenes and characters and may even feel a little bloated at times, but most of the time, its constant entertainment value covers this. Machete Kills, in the end, is an underrated sequel that is on par with its predecessor and is mind-melting entertainment. I cannot wait for Machete Kills Again...In Space. If it will ever happen of course, since it is not making a lot of money in the US, which is a shame. Expand
  4. Dec 29, 2013
    5
    Not as good as the original, but worth seeing if you liked the first one. Notable for the jokes far more than the action sequences. CharlieNot as good as the original, but worth seeing if you liked the first one. Notable for the jokes far more than the action sequences. Charlie Sheen is a hoot as the president. Expand
  5. Nov 4, 2014
    4
    The whole Machete thing has always been a joke. When the fake trailer appeared in the Grindhouse, it was a funny one. Then it got out of hand.The whole Machete thing has always been a joke. When the fake trailer appeared in the Grindhouse, it was a funny one. Then it got out of hand. The first movie was pretty watchable, but the joke was starting to get overused, you can't make a good movie out of a single gag (or at least Rodriguez can't). This time, the sequel has come very close to the line that separates a crappy movie from a mediocre one. Utter senselessness, poor visual effects, cheesy acting and stupid forced dialogues just don't go unnoticed.
    Who pulls this from the depths of awfulness are Michelle Rodriguez (she's hot), Amber Heard (she's even hotter), Mel Gibson (it's a shame he's had a blow to his reputation, he's still same ol' awesome Mel) and Charlie Sheen (because any movie gets better with jokes about Charlie Sheen and hookers or drugs).
    So, Machete Kills is barely watchable and gets a very weak 4 out of 10, which is actually 3.5 rounded to 4, something like that. And considering the open nods to an even more ridiculous sequel set in space, things will get worse.
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  6. Jan 3, 2014
    3
    Película desagradável muito abaixo da primeira, certamente um dos piores filmes de 2013, um descaso de genialidade da produção e do diretor,Película desagradável muito abaixo da primeira, certamente um dos piores filmes de 2013, um descaso de genialidade da produção e do diretor, fraco, ruim e mal feito. Expand
  7. Jan 13, 2014
    0
    Honestly, I liked the first film enough to give this one a shot and I hated it. It just was not good at all. I can deal with the poor acting,Honestly, I liked the first film enough to give this one a shot and I hated it. It just was not good at all. I can deal with the poor acting, generic plots, and terrible special effects but honestly, I expected something at least watchable/entertaining and this was neither. Collapse

See all 40 User Reviews

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