Bad, and not in a good way. No, I didn't misunderstand the film, but what a perfect way to waste the talent of an all-star cast! It's comical to a point, which is the films strong suit, but eventually it just stops being funny and slumps into TOO MUCH over the top action and gore. What a disappointment!

At least it was slightly better than Rodriguez' latest unbearable-to-watch flick, Predators. At some point in the life of an actor, you must somehow say to yourself 'I am so old-looking now, nobody will take me serious anymore when I am trying to behave like an action hero'. Trejo can barely walk anymore, he has a huge pot belly, yet we are supposed to buy that he kills everyone just like that ? The whole movie was more like a parody, none of that could have happened in reality. To start out with, why wasn't he killed right in the beginning of the movie ? Nobody profited from him surviving.
The gory effects are fun maybe a couple of times, in the end they become just boring. The last 15 minutes destroyed every credibility the flick possibly had. Shot through the head, but raised from the dead, to fight another day ?
This is just filmmaking at its most primitive level.… Expand

The moment a young woman nonchalantly pulls a cell phone out of her cootch for no particular reason, this film hits rock bottom and never recovers. Unfortunately for Machete, this disgusting event takes place about 5 minutes in. A shockingly solid B-movie cast (Jeff Fahey, especially) is wasted in this exploitative trash that starts with a bang (the first few minutes, anyway) then instantly succumbs to an unambiguously and pretentiously preachy "illegal Mexican immigrants throw off the shackles of your oppressors!" narrative nose-dive. Utterly vile and the complete opposite of entertaining. Robert Rodriguez at his all-time worst, which is saying a lot, given his embarrassing resume.… Expand

"Machete Running a tired-less 105 mins that felt like it never ended. Danny Trejo is a very talented actor but even he can't save this movie , Robert Rodriquez has a good style and authenticity , but i felt the movie drabbed , lacked and was boring" .. C-

This movie should just be named "blood, crazy, knives, and nothing else," It was a pointless movie, Girl naked just for the sake of having a girl naked, and it matched the rest of everything in this movie. This movie got a better rating than the movie "Safe," but I don`t see how. I guess it`s just a bunch of fans who love the cast, and will just like anything they are in, cause it does happen to have a stronger cast.… Expand

What a pile of sh*t. First film I walked out of since Catwoman. Rodriguez needs to learn how to direct. the infamous "it's a homage to 60s films" crud only goes so far.

I expected this movie to be filled with gratuitous violence and campy humor. In fact that is why I rented it. I thought it would be fun. What I did not expect was for it to be this bad. The violence is frequent but the humor is few and far between. It's also a very divisive movie, filled with egregious stereotypes of all races. It seemed like it was intentionally designed to fan the flames of the illegal immigrant firestorm. They threw some big name stars in the mix to make it appealing, I guess, but their roles are terrible. Lohan is just there to be nude. Alba is there to be cute. Deniro must just be there because the wrote him a big check. I can't recommend this film, in fact I suggest you avoid it.… Expand

I couldn't even be bothered to give this horrible film a one star rating. This film will cater to lowly people and thugs everywhere, Most of those who are gang affiliated or maybe just someone who enjoys watching Danny Trejo's washed up acting career.

This movie is two things wrapped into one - a caricature, and a commentary on the ridiculousness of culture and popular thinking on current issues in the United States, and an old-fashioned shock and laugh horror film. The target is illegal immigration, and the response to it in Arizona (what John Stewart called "the dumbest state in America"). In that respect, the movie is like club, it hits you over the head with its message, so that even an idiot can find the irony. In that respect, I applaud the creators for speaking to the level of the common man. However, no thinking person will be so impressed. Is the movie scary or funny? ...not really. ...though the audience is full of people laughing loud enough to make sure everyone else knows they get the joke. The dialogue is purposefully camp. I thought I would have had more fun than I did. I was left thinking this was a little too close to bad movies (trying not to be bad) for me not to feel like I'd wasted my $13. It was definitely forgettable. As an aside, I couldn't help thinking that a trailer from this film would have made a wonderful cameo in the movie Idiocracy. I can definitely see more "Machete's" coming out down the road.… Expand

This movie is a caricature sort of like grindhouse series, however, the movie is horrible. I gave it a 3 because of Alba is worth a 3. This movie is simply stupid from beginning to end. The ending is horrible. I liked Grindhouse, obviously I did not like this but YMMV.

Rodriguez's worst movie. Piece of crap that had to be packed with celebrities to get butts in the seats. Who cares if it's an amazing cast if the script and dialogue are crap?

The Jessica Alba almost nude scene is doctored also...she was wearing a bikini and they just erased it on the computer after they shot it. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Trailer was great , but the movie is garbage. This is not funny , action scenes are very bad directed and poorly executed , actors wasted and all that in the name of Grindhouse fell. My ass. Planet Terror which was also a dissapointment and a proff that Rodriguez carrer met a dead end is better than this. John Fahey is the only bright spot and maybe Jessica Alba , here and there plays well a police inspector in this mess of a plot. One more inetersting thing here is that as much as they call this a Grindhouse style film , with all the brutal action and gore , there is very litlle nudity and some soft sex (when its not going in fade out). One more proff that this whole Grindhouse concept is fake and just excuse for poorly done movies with weak scripts in the name of cool. If you are into grindhouse and older exploitation action ,horror and crime movies digg for the real classics and avioid this. However , people who are not so much into cinema and go to movie theaters here and there could find this entertaining , for all it's cheap action , wanna be splatter and very bad humor. All the others , that are looking for quality action go and watch Predators. That movie is at least trying to be something.… Expand

Well, there is an hour of my life I'll never get back. I can't believe the quality of actors this movie contains and to turn out a B or even a C movie.
What a disappointment

This movie is some sort of a gimmick and a (strange) kind of tribute to the westerns of the 60s and the B-movies from those days. It didn't work for me. The exaggerated violence and blood is boring and given that the movie is build on this and some chicks in short skirts, it is not worth losing 2 hours of your life for. Bad, really bad stuff.

While I like actor that played Machete, this movie was probably one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It is just sad that there are some people that feel the need to pump this movie up because of the political statement that it makes. Especially when the statement it makes is flat out false. That is absolutely pathetic. The acting was poor, the story was poor, but I hope to see the actor that played Machete in more movies in the future. Hopefully something with a better story and much better acting.… Expand

this is really baaad Film from director of sincity this film is wayesting time in every direction i want throughout this film to trash iam intesting how should be possible someone take 8 or 7 to this film from my openion this film should give 1 or maximum 2

This movie was horrid, if you like this then you need help. It started bad ended bad. Whoever decided to put Lindsy Lohan in this movie needs to get mental help as well. Every single seen with her just made the movie get more worse then it already was. Want a real action Movie then watch The Expendables.

Big fan of Rodriguez but I had an incredibly difficult time keeping from walking out of this movie. The story was there but pretty weak and they tried to make up for that with the violence but that even became predictable and ham-handed after the first half hour. Definitely an all-star cast but please, De Niro, your too good for this. For that matter, Steven Seagal is too good for this movie. Don't even get me started on his lousy attempt at an accent. I'm all about a movie for entertainment's sake if a plot and acting can't be expected but I have to say that Ma-Sh&*ty hits the trifecta on a lack of all three. Save yourself the effort of seeing this movie by slurring a few cliched tag lines, hitting your head against a wall and stabbing a rump-roast with a carving knife a few times and you pretty much have seen the movie.… Expand