This movie is two things wrapped into one - a caricature, and a commentary on the ridiculousness of culture and popular thinking on current issues in the United States, and an old-fashioned shock and laugh horror film. The target is illegal immigration, and the response to it in Arizona (what John Stewart called "the dumbest state in America"). In that respect, the movie is like club, it hits you over the head with its message, so that even an idiot can find the irony. In that respect, I applaud the creators for speaking to the level of the common man. However, no thinking person will be so impressed. Is the movie scary or funny? ...not really. ...though the audience is full of people laughing loud enough to make sure everyone else knows they get the joke. The dialogue is purposefully camp. I thought I would have had more fun than I did. I was left thinking this was a little too close to bad movies (trying not to be bad) for me not to feel like I'd wasted my $13. It was definitely forgettable. As an aside, I couldn't help thinking that a trailer from this film would have made a wonderful cameo in the movie Idiocracy. I can definitely see more "Machete's" coming out down the road.… Expand

This movie is frggin awesome!!! Robert Rodriguez delivers yet another epic masterpiece!! The all star cast, including Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert de Niro, and more, is great!! The action is gory, bloody, and awesome!! The script is well written, suspenseful, and sometimes hilarious!! Don't forget the nudity!! You rock, Alba!! Overall, this movie rocks and I recommend it to action fans, Robert Rodriguez fans, guys who are in love with Jessica Alaba, and movie fans in general.… Expand

You either enjoy this genre-splicing homage to 70s black exploitation movies or you don't. The movie is fun, tongue-in-cheek, violent and campy. It has a somewhat forced political message, one with which I agree. White liberals might say that it is racist, but my best friend (who is Mexican) was dying with laughter, as every conceivable Mexican culture stereotype is thrown into this movie in some way. Jessica Alba is still beautiful and still is, at best, a mediocre actress. Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez are perfect. Bobby D is great as a race baiting, hypocritical Republican politician. This is not high brow film making. But it is fun. If you liked Grindhouse then you will like this, if not then this is not the movie for you.… Expand

Bloody hell, WTF is this. A brutally awesome, fun, full of blood film (no shi*, this is Rodriguez and that means a flood of blood). I remember watching and enjoying "Planer Terror" which was also brutal and genius just like "Machete". I could write an essay of 1000 words about this film just describing how good it is but I'll make it short. Epic Masterpiece ("Bullet97"), great(convincing) acting, full of action and a dose of humor. If you want to watch this film but you can't make up your mind, trust me you do want to watch this film because you won't regret it.… Expand

This movie was horrid, if you like this then you need help. It started bad ended bad. Whoever decided to put Lindsy Lohan in this movie needs to get mental help as well. Every single seen with her just made the movie get more worse then it already was. Want a real action Movie then watch The Expendables.

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Ken Loach is not Mexican; Loach, the politically-minded filmmaker who made "Bread and Roses"(the 2000 message movie about a janitors' strike, largely comprised of transplanted Mexicans in the U.S.) is a Brit. Being an outsider, Loach was saddled with the obligation of depicting a race in the best possible light, so as a result, the well-intentioned "Bread and Roses", at times, suffocates on its own earnestness, which is, the most common malady that plagues any didacticist film. Also, there was the matter of the old conundrum that any socio-political film faces(most prominently featured in Alan Parker's "Mississippi Burning"), since the intermingling of differing racial heritages is contingent on a political objective, can't help but be hierarchical, in which a white hero(Adrien Brody as the union organizer) becomes the focal point of the story. The importance of the janitors is signified by its savior. Ken Loach wouldn't be able to get away with making a film like "Machete"; he doesn't have the blood to be irreverent about the state of Mexicans in the U.S. But just because a filmmaker has the license to go pop with a hot button topic such as illegal immigration like a grindhouse cineaste, instead of a social realist, should he? Can a scene where Lindsay Lohan totes a machine gun while donning a nun's habit co-exist with a more sobering one in which a pregnant border crosser is gunned down by an INS agent without leaving a bad taste in your mouth? Like any exploitation movie, can the politics of "Machete" survive the onslaught of cheap thrills, enabling the message to go down like disguised medicine? That's debatable; that's up to you. But keep this in mind: despite the high quotient of graphic violence and gratuitious nudity, the hero is no gringo; he's brown, albeit with bad skin, and worse teeth. In "Machete", "wetbacks" are doin' it for themselves. Machete(Danny Trejo) echoes Malcolm X's words(from the 1992 Spike Lee film about the slain Nation of Islam leader) when he tells a white kid(adopted by Mexican parents, played by Daryl Sabara) that there's nothing he can do for them. Like the white FBI agents in "Mississippi Burning"(Gene Hackman and Willem Dafoe), one of Michael's guards sees the injustice of the new immigration laws, yet his conscience never translates into traitorous behavior. He doesn't join the revolution. When Machete needs help, it's his own people(the "network", organized by "She", played by Michelle Rodriguez) who come to the vigilante's aid; the invisible people in uniforms, the service people who need Adrien Brody to mobilize them in "Bread and Roses".… Expand

I actually give this movie a 9.5 but I rounded it to a 10. WHAT A MOVIE! Its is just so unique. Imagine a B-Movie with a high budget to make it live up to today's standards. Some might disagree but this movie has an all-star cast with the best being: Danny Trejo as Machete, Steven Seagal as Torrez, Michelle Rodriquez as Luz, and Jessica Alba as an Immigration Office (sorry I forgot her name). The movie is very unpredictable seeing as it is very over the top, which is a good thing because you have NO idea what will happen next. It is VERY violent, has some nudity (I'm surprised that Lindsey Lohan isn't gross looking nude), and has hilarious humor. So if you like extremely violent Action, good looking women nude, and more than just chuckles but real laughter from both the brutal kills and the intended comedy. I was almost crying at Steven Seagal's little banter after the final fight with Machete. And that wasn't a spoiler it shows it in almost every trailer. Lets just say Seagal is just as big of a badass as he is in every other movie, and he does things his way. And try to notice the easter eggs with some actors having lines as titles of movies that have been in before. "Hes Hard to Kill" "Showtime"… Expand

I am definitely planning to watch this movie this weekend. Machete's cast are all first rate, there is something for everyone like eye-candy for the guys, eye-candy for the ladies; and lots of macho action and adrenaline. The typecast and cliche's are a smart and clever ingredient to be exploited. Machete's seems to have all the ingredients to be an iconic movie, like pulp fiction.

I actually wanna give this a 9.5 just because i was counting on it to be more apart of "grindhouse" where the initial trailer came from. it did not have the film scratches and stuff that it had. also i was hopin that Tarentino was gonna help out a some, but he ddnt. but i was not dissapointed. IT WAS AWESOME.

"Machete" Loaded with strange humor and gratuitous violence, Rodriguez knows what his fans want. There may not be much substance here, but the film's attitude doesn't have time for sense. Likable enough characters and good performances are throughout the film...recommended

A brainless, testesterone-driven, blood-splattering, limb-flying, bullet-blazing action flick that never stops entertaining - "Machete" bows down to the male chauvinist, and deepens its insecurity, painting the perception of what a man is suppose to be. The character sleeps with countless, beautiful women, kills anyone and everyone with impeccable precision, and an aura as tough as nails. What "Machete" delivers in presentation and overall entertainment, it lacks in instances where no action is taking place, or what other movies call "DIALOGUE." Now, I understand the casting of a guy like Trejo, but when you are put into the lead role, you have to "SAY" more than ten words. In the various cutscene transitions, the audience is forced to just pause.....and look at a character who looks like he has been to hell and back more than a few times. This one-dimensionality in acting or the lack of is just not enough to earn high praise. In addition to the vow of silence of Trejo's supposed "tough" guy character is the inconsistency of his capabilities. For instance, on numerous occassions he asks for help to work a cell-phone, but despite this, is able to load files onto a computer. Overall, the incessant, half-baked, over-the-top, violent carnage "Machete" brings is merely another Hollywood attempt to stimulate its lazy, dazed, zombie-tranced viewers who aren't interested in paying close attention to detail, but rather to what "moves" infront of them on screen. Hollywood has regressed its viewers to such a nadir that a trip to the theater now takes on the resembling act of an infant fixated on the moving carousel above him, watching in awe. If you are planning on taking away something from this film, or looking to stimulate your brain in some sort of way, I advise you to try another alternative. "Machete" is complete and utter balderdash - esthetically pleasing to the eyes, and 105 minutes... your brain wish had back.… Expand

The B-movie "Machete", based on the fake trailer in "Planet Terror", gives nothing new but blood and gore. However, "Machete", which has a more clear story and objective, is an exception

Very good movie. Very unique and very very bloody. It's good to see Trejo do well in a lead role. Jessica and Michelle were smokin' hot. I would kiss both of their faces. Lindsey Lohan...well at least she's working again.

MACHETE is one of the best movies I have ever seen I was pretty much having to hold myself back from laughing at the theater. I loved all the characters and the storyline and music were both awesome. So far I am surprised that the major critics have not been able to get it. I hope Roger Ebert sees this film maybe we can get the 4 * rating from the best critic on the planet that this film certainly deserves… Expand

This movie is great. It features great performances from Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey and many others. Many people bad mouthing this movie are forgetting that fact that it's a grindhouse movie. It's meant to be funny and feature over the top gore with ridiculous scenes. My only gripe with this movie is that although there is a good amount of action, It's not near the amount it should have considering it's a grindhouse movie. This is a great all around movie and Robert Rodriguez has stated that he's had this plot in mind way before the whole immigration laws started happening.… Expand

Moments of greatness followed by minutes of boredom. -- For some reason, Rodriguez decided that this movie needed tons of exposition to explain a guy who kills people with a Machete. Even Quentin, would admit that this movie talks too damn much. The random moments of awesome low ball taste are spread apart by slow dialog from actors who aren't even phoning it in. The wind up between pitches kills what could have been a highlight of the summer. The action is a bloody version of the A-Team television show and not up to the standards of El Mariachi or Desperado.… Expand

Big fan of Rodriguez but I had an incredibly difficult time keeping from walking out of this movie. The story was there but pretty weak and they tried to make up for that with the violence but that even became predictable and ham-handed after the first half hour. Definitely an all-star cast but please, De Niro, your too good for this. For that matter, Steven Seagal is too good for this movie. Don't even get me started on his lousy attempt at an accent. I'm all about a movie for entertainment's sake if a plot and acting can't be expected but I have to say that Ma-Sh&*ty hits the trifecta on a lack of all three. Save yourself the effort of seeing this movie by slurring a few cliched tag lines, hitting your head against a wall and stabbing a rump-roast with a carving knife a few times and you pretty much have seen the movie.… Expand

Robert Rodriguez's homage to the exploitation films of the 1970s contains beheading, stabbing, betrayal, a beautiful nude woman who pulls a cellphone from...(well, you'll have to watch it to find out), and Steven Seagal as a villain. And that's before the opening credits!

Our hero, Machete (Danny Trejo), has suffered the loss of his wife and daughter at the hands of the evil drug kingpin, Torrez (Seagal). Three years later, our hero, by chance, gets caught up in a whirlwind of lies and deceit, which leads to Machete being framed as the gunman in a plot to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro). Booth (Jeff Fahey), who has unwittingly hired Machete as the scapegoat, has no idea who he's dealing with. This misfire takes Machete down several roads, all of which lead to his nemesis, Torrez.
Along the way we meet the beautiful, and law abiding, Sartana (Jessica Alba), who, as part of the immigration police force, feels as if she's betraying her own kind by tracking down illegal immigrants to be deported. Meanwhile, on the other side of the legal fence, Luz (Michelle Rodriguez, looking sexier than usual), is helping her people make a better life for themselves in the states. With this, we get the underlying pro-illegal-immigration message of the film, which, at times, comes across too preachy. But then again, this happened in some of the exploitation films of the 1970s, so this can, in essence, be chalked up to the films genre without causing an uproar from the audience regardless of their personal stance on the subject.
Machete provides a wide variety of colorful characters. To begin with, Danny Trejo is brilliant as Machete, and as a result, we're willing to follow him to the ends of the earth, or to a pool hosting a couple a naked woman. De Niro is great as he channels a likeness of George W. Bush into the despicable Senator McLaughlin who'd just as soon shoot an immigrant as look at them. Jeff Fahey has mastered the deep voiced villain without overselling it (Christian Bale, take note), and Don Johnson's contribution as Lt. Stillman is every bit as despicable and spot on as De Niro's McLaughlin. It's always a pleasure to see Cheech Marin on screen, and his performance as Padr, the priest who knows exactly what to do with two passed out naked women in the back of a hearse, is not something you'll soon forget (they even manage to sneak in a weed joke). Even Tom Savini makes an appearance, it's like a mini From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) reunion.
This might be all good a well, but what about Lindsey Lohan? She holds her own here, and looks good doing it, although her part doesn't require a lot of her (she's a heroin addict who spends most of her time naked, I'm not going to take the cheap shots, but you can), she still brings something worthwhile and entertaining to each of her scenes.
Machete shares similarities with Rodriguez's 2007 grindhouse outing Planet Terror, including the worn-print-shown-at-drive-ins look. The babysitting twins return, only this time as hot twin nurses, and one of my favorite characters is back, Dr. Felix (Felix Sabates), who, just like in Planet Terror, is all too eager to discuss the more graphic aspects of his chosen career with a smile on his face and a skip in his step.
If Rodriguez made a promise to entertain with the original faux-trailer for Machete in 2007, in 2010 he's returned to collect on that promise, and he delivers, with blood, sweat, and breasts.… Expand

When you see "Introducing Don Johnson" in the titles, you know you're in for fun! The film harks back to director Robert Rodriguez's early style (a la "El Mariachi"): jammed cuts, hard action and ironic humor. Danny Trejo plays a renegade lawman who slices his way through the bad buys with all manner of blades. There's a plot, but it's more about enjoying the sharply-crafted filmmaking. The grindhouse style is plenty violent, but the flashes of fun and great characters make it completely cool. How often do you see Lindsay Lohan in a nun's habit, shooting one of our greatest actors?… Expand

very funny and entertaining ,very violent but done in a really good way nice to see oldies like steven segall and don johnson getting employment again

prettty beastly see it its pretty sweet. it was beaastly dont miss it it is the crap. see it today for only 4.99.987.7955555558.6887.6788768.3454566556

funny is the word. serious is the tone. and very little action i didn't expect that. this movie is toned down by political overtones. its okay. but it will grow on you in the near future. Machete was a hero and legend. Lindsay lohan gets naked YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

"Machete" is a blood-soaked adventure starring a ruthless, brutal killing machine. Despite the circumstances and concepts, those who watch should not let the amputations and blood baths deprive from the message and impact the storyline exudes to the audience on the controversial topic pertaining to immigration. Oh, and you see Lindsay Lohan's boobs.

This movie is so bad it's good. Rodriguez tosses in every cliche and stereotype he can think of resulting in one hot mess of a movie. Interspersed are populace messages replete with good old fashioned hatred of the man (right on baby!). The problem is this genre has been dredged up so much that it's no longer a novelty.

This movie is a caricature sort of like grindhouse series, however, the movie is horrible. I gave it a 3 because of Alba is worth a 3. This movie is simply stupid from beginning to end. The ending is horrible. I liked Grindhouse, obviously I did not like this but YMMV.

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I have to start with saying that I adore Grindhouse, both as a double-feature as it was originally intended, and as two separate movies. Quite simply, it represents one of the most enjoyable viewing experiences I've ever had at the cinema. In the original feature the fake trailer for Machete was a highlight, and so I approached the full-length movie with hope but some trepidation - could Robert Rodriguez expand on and deliver what he had promised in the 3minute trailer that previewed before the excellent Planet Terror? The answer, I'm sad to say, is not really. The film is not a failure by any means - it's fun, gory, and a pleasure to watch, but sadly it doesn't have the magic of Grindhouse. Perhaps it's because Rodriguez merely co-directed it, with his frequent editor Ethan Maniquis, and shared many other duties he usually performs solo. The score for instance lacks iconic themes, and didn't generate the excitement and sense of fun of Planet Terror. The editing too seemed disjointed at times, and the screenplay felt lacking - all the best lines were in the original trailer. Maybe it was just too political, and could have further embraced the trashy B-Movie qualities of exploitation cinema. One moment that was particularly disappointing was the shot of Machete with the machine gun attached to the front of his bike - when compared to Cherry Darling's big moment when she utilises her shot-gun leg for the first time, it just didn't generate that same feeling of euphoria and disbelief. For all that however, the film is a success for its spot-on casting. Danny Trejo enjoys the kind of role he was born to play (and boy can he wield that weapon to terrific effect - carnage certainly ensues). Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba are smart, sexy and feisty, and Lindsay Lohan, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin and even Steven Seagal have a blast (although in comparison they do not enjoy the gifted dialogue or frenetic set-pieces the actors in Grindhouse were awarded with - nothing in this movie compares to Marley Shelton's "three friends" monologue, Freddy Rodriguez' hospital corridor fight or the aforementioned Cherry and her remarkable machine-gun leg). I look forward to watching Machete for a second time when I will have more realistic expectations, and I can enjoy it without comparing it to Grindhouse, a movie I now regard as one of my top films of all time.… Expand

Robert Rodriquez new film is one of the most entertaining films of the fall. It is fun, bloody, messy; every action-loving viewer should run to the nearest cinema and experience it for themselves.

I LOVED this movie! Can't wait til it comes out so I can buy it. It has every campy thing you can imagine and is such good entertainment! If you liked Desperado, you will love this!