Machete

User Score
7.2

Generally favorable reviews- based on 415 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Negative: 45 out of 415

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User Reviews

  1. Sep 7, 2010
    8
    This movie is great. It features great performances from Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey and many others. Many people bad mouthing this movie are forgetting that fact that it's a grindhouse movie. It's meant to be funny and feature over the top gore with ridiculous scenes. My only gripe with this movie is that although there is aThis movie is great. It features great performances from Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey and many others. Many people bad mouthing this movie are forgetting that fact that it's a grindhouse movie. It's meant to be funny and feature over the top gore with ridiculous scenes. My only gripe with this movie is that although there is a good amount of action, It's not near the amount it should have considering it's a grindhouse movie. This is a great all around movie and Robert Rodriguez has stated that he's had this plot in mind way before the whole immigration laws started happening. Expand
  2. Sep 21, 2010
    7
    I love Robert Rodriquez, i find him funny, soulful and a creator in an art that is dwindling just like the music profession. Planet Terror is one of my most favorite movies and the El Mariachi series is crazy for the budget. But i found Machete, while a really cool and fun movie, to lack the heart and attention to detail the other Grindhouse movies oozed. He made it seem so easy the firstI love Robert Rodriquez, i find him funny, soulful and a creator in an art that is dwindling just like the music profession. Planet Terror is one of my most favorite movies and the El Mariachi series is crazy for the budget. But i found Machete, while a really cool and fun movie, to lack the heart and attention to detail the other Grindhouse movies oozed. He made it seem so easy the first time that the second had little chance. Expand
  3. Sep 6, 2010
    8
    You either enjoy this genre-splicing homage to 70s black exploitation movies or you don't. The movie is fun, tongue-in-cheek, violent and campy. It has a somewhat forced political message, one with which I agree. White liberals might say that it is racist, but my best friend (who is Mexican) was dying with laughter, as every conceivable Mexican culture stereotype is thrown into thisYou either enjoy this genre-splicing homage to 70s black exploitation movies or you don't. The movie is fun, tongue-in-cheek, violent and campy. It has a somewhat forced political message, one with which I agree. White liberals might say that it is racist, but my best friend (who is Mexican) was dying with laughter, as every conceivable Mexican culture stereotype is thrown into this movie in some way. Jessica Alba is still beautiful and still is, at best, a mediocre actress. Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez are perfect. Bobby D is great as a race baiting, hypocritical Republican politician. This is not high brow film making. But it is fun. If you liked Grindhouse then you will like this, if not then this is not the movie for you. Expand
  4. Sep 11, 2010
    9
    "Machete" Loaded with strange humor and gratuitous violence, Rodriguez knows what his fans want. There may not be much substance here, but the film's attitude doesn't have time for sense. Likable enough characters and good performances are throughout the film...recommended
  5. Feb 13, 2011
    10
    Bloody hell, WTF is this. A brutally awesome, fun, full of blood film (no shi*, this is Rodriguez and that means a flood of blood). I remember watching and enjoying "Planer Terror" which was also brutal and genius just like "Machete". I could write an essay of 1000 words about this film just describing how good it is but I'll make it short. Epic Masterpiece ("Bullet97"), great(convincing)Bloody hell, WTF is this. A brutally awesome, fun, full of blood film (no shi*, this is Rodriguez and that means a flood of blood). I remember watching and enjoying "Planer Terror" which was also brutal and genius just like "Machete". I could write an essay of 1000 words about this film just describing how good it is but I'll make it short. Epic Masterpiece ("Bullet97"), great(convincing) acting, full of action and a dose of humor. If you want to watch this film but you can't make up your mind, trust me you do want to watch this film because you won't regret it. Expand
  6. Sep 4, 2010
    10
    I actually wanna give this a 9.5 just because i was counting on it to be more apart of "grindhouse" where the initial trailer came from. it did not have the film scratches and stuff that it had. also i was hopin that Tarentino was gonna help out a some, but he ddnt. but i was not dissapointed. IT WAS AWESOME.
  7. Sep 26, 2010
    10
    Robert Rodriguez's homage to the exploitation films of the 1970s contains beheading, stabbing, betrayal, a beautiful nude woman who pulls a cellphone from...(well, you'll have to watch it to find out), and Steven Seagal as a villain. And that's before the opening credits!

    Our hero, Machete (Danny Trejo), has suffered the loss of his wife and daughter at the hands of the evil drug kingpin,
    Robert Rodriguez's homage to the exploitation films of the 1970s contains beheading, stabbing, betrayal, a beautiful nude woman who pulls a cellphone from...(well, you'll have to watch it to find out), and Steven Seagal as a villain. And that's before the opening credits!

    Our hero, Machete (Danny Trejo), has suffered the loss of his wife and daughter at the hands of the evil drug kingpin, Torrez (Seagal). Three years later, our hero, by chance, gets caught up in a whirlwind of lies and deceit, which leads to Machete being framed as the gunman in a plot to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro). Booth (Jeff Fahey), who has unwittingly hired Machete as the scapegoat, has no idea who he's dealing with. This misfire takes Machete down several roads, all of which lead to his nemesis, Torrez.
    Along the way we meet the beautiful, and law abiding, Sartana (Jessica Alba), who, as part of the immigration police force, feels as if she's betraying her own kind by tracking down illegal immigrants to be deported. Meanwhile, on the other side of the legal fence, Luz (Michelle Rodriguez, looking sexier than usual), is helping her people make a better life for themselves in the states. With this, we get the underlying pro-illegal-immigration message of the film, which, at times, comes across too preachy. But then again, this happened in some of the exploitation films of the 1970s, so this can, in essence, be chalked up to the films genre without causing an uproar from the audience regardless of their personal stance on the subject.
    Machete provides a wide variety of colorful characters. To begin with, Danny Trejo is brilliant as Machete, and as a result, we're willing to follow him to the ends of the earth, or to a pool hosting a couple a naked woman. De Niro is great as he channels a likeness of George W. Bush into the despicable Senator McLaughlin who'd just as soon shoot an immigrant as look at them. Jeff Fahey has mastered the deep voiced villain without overselling it (Christian Bale, take note), and Don Johnson's contribution as Lt. Stillman is every bit as despicable and spot on as De Niro's McLaughlin. It's always a pleasure to see Cheech Marin on screen, and his performance as Padr, the priest who knows exactly what to do with two passed out naked women in the back of a hearse, is not something you'll soon forget (they even manage to sneak in a weed joke). Even Tom Savini makes an appearance, it's like a mini From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) reunion.
    This might be all good a well, but what about Lindsey Lohan? She holds her own here, and looks good doing it, although her part doesn't require a lot of her (she's a heroin addict who spends most of her time naked, I'm not going to take the cheap shots, but you can), she still brings something worthwhile and entertaining to each of her scenes.
    Machete shares similarities with Rodriguez's 2007 grindhouse outing Planet Terror, including the worn-print-shown-at-drive-ins look. The babysitting twins return, only this time as hot twin nurses, and one of my favorite characters is back, Dr. Felix (Felix Sabates), who, just like in Planet Terror, is all too eager to discuss the more graphic aspects of his chosen career with a smile on his face and a skip in his step.
    If Rodriguez made a promise to entertain with the original faux-trailer for Machete in 2007, in 2010 he's returned to collect on that promise, and he delivers, with blood, sweat, and breasts.
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  8. Oct 3, 2010
    10
    When you see "Introducing Don Johnson" in the titles, you know you're in for fun! The film harks back to director Robert Rodriguez's early style (a la "El Mariachi"): jammed cuts, hard action and ironic humor. Danny Trejo plays a renegade lawman who slices his way through the bad buys with all manner of blades. There's a plot, but it's more about enjoying the sharply-crafted filmmaking.When you see "Introducing Don Johnson" in the titles, you know you're in for fun! The film harks back to director Robert Rodriguez's early style (a la "El Mariachi"): jammed cuts, hard action and ironic humor. Danny Trejo plays a renegade lawman who slices his way through the bad buys with all manner of blades. There's a plot, but it's more about enjoying the sharply-crafted filmmaking. The grindhouse style is plenty violent, but the flashes of fun and great characters make it completely cool. How often do you see Lindsay Lohan in a nun's habit, shooting one of our greatest actors? Expand
  9. Oct 5, 2010
    10
    very funny and entertaining ,very violent but done in a really good way nice to see oldies like steven segall and don johnson getting employment again
  10. Jan 9, 2011
    10
    prettty beastly see it its pretty sweet. it was beaastly dont miss it it is the crap. see it today for only 4.99.987.7955555558.6887.6788768.3454566556
  11. Mar 29, 2014
    10
    I reviewed the second Machete, so I thought I would review the first one, because I thought it deserved it. :) Machete is the first Danny Trejo balls out action flick that was directed by Robert Rodriquez and Ethan Manquiz. The story is not the best out there but enjoyable. And you get to see Robert De Niro! Danny trejo is awesome as Machete, he was funny and ass kicking at the same time.I reviewed the second Machete, so I thought I would review the first one, because I thought it deserved it. :) Machete is the first Danny Trejo balls out action flick that was directed by Robert Rodriquez and Ethan Manquiz. The story is not the best out there but enjoyable. And you get to see Robert De Niro! Danny trejo is awesome as Machete, he was funny and ass kicking at the same time. This movie was packed with suspense, powerful performances and cheesy twists and gore! Watch it and you'll be entertained throughout. Expand
  12. Sep 4, 2010
    10
    This movie is frggin awesome!!! Robert Rodriguez delivers yet another epic masterpiece!! The all star cast, including Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert de Niro, and more, is great!! The action is gory, bloody, and awesome!! The script is well written, suspenseful, and sometimes hilarious!! Don't forget the nudity!! You rock, Alba!! Overall, this movie rocks and IThis movie is frggin awesome!!! Robert Rodriguez delivers yet another epic masterpiece!! The all star cast, including Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert de Niro, and more, is great!! The action is gory, bloody, and awesome!! The script is well written, suspenseful, and sometimes hilarious!! Don't forget the nudity!! You rock, Alba!! Overall, this movie rocks and I recommend it to action fans, Robert Rodriguez fans, guys who are in love with Jessica Alaba, and movie fans in general. Expand
  13. Sep 3, 2010
    10
    I actually give this movie a 9.5 but I rounded it to a 10. WHAT A MOVIE! Its is just so unique. Imagine a B-Movie with a high budget to make it live up to today's standards. Some might disagree but this movie has an all-star cast with the best being: Danny Trejo as Machete, Steven Seagal as Torrez, Michelle Rodriquez as Luz, and Jessica Alba as an Immigration Office (sorry I forgot herI actually give this movie a 9.5 but I rounded it to a 10. WHAT A MOVIE! Its is just so unique. Imagine a B-Movie with a high budget to make it live up to today's standards. Some might disagree but this movie has an all-star cast with the best being: Danny Trejo as Machete, Steven Seagal as Torrez, Michelle Rodriquez as Luz, and Jessica Alba as an Immigration Office (sorry I forgot her name). The movie is very unpredictable seeing as it is very over the top, which is a good thing because you have NO idea what will happen next. It is VERY violent, has some nudity (I'm surprised that Lindsey Lohan isn't gross looking nude), and has hilarious humor. So if you like extremely violent Action, good looking women nude, and more than just chuckles but real laughter from both the brutal kills and the intended comedy. I was almost crying at Steven Seagal's little banter after the final fight with Machete. And that wasn't a spoiler it shows it in almost every trailer. Lets just say Seagal is just as big of a badass as he is in every other movie, and he does things his way. And try to notice the easter eggs with some actors having lines as titles of movies that have been in before. "Hes Hard to Kill" "Showtime" Expand
  14. Sep 4, 2010
    10
    Very good movie. Very unique and very very bloody. It's good to see Trejo do well in a lead role. Jessica and Michelle were smokin' hot. I would kiss both of their faces. Lindsey Lohan...well at least she's working again.
  15. Sep 5, 2010
    10
    MACHETE is one of the best movies I have ever seen I was pretty much having to hold myself back from laughing at the theater. I loved all the characters and the storyline and music were both awesome. So far I am surprised that the major critics have not been able to get it. I hope Roger Ebert sees this film maybe we can get the 4 * rating from the best critic on the planet that this filmMACHETE is one of the best movies I have ever seen I was pretty much having to hold myself back from laughing at the theater. I loved all the characters and the storyline and music were both awesome. So far I am surprised that the major critics have not been able to get it. I hope Roger Ebert sees this film maybe we can get the 4 * rating from the best critic on the planet that this film certainly deserves Expand
  16. Sep 3, 2010
    10
    I am definitely planning to watch this movie this weekend. Machete's cast are all first rate, there is something for everyone like eye-candy for the guys, eye-candy for the ladies; and lots of macho action and adrenaline. The typecast and cliche's are a smart and clever ingredient to be exploited. Machete's seems to have all the ingredients to be an iconic movie, like pulp fiction.
  17. Sep 6, 2010
    10
    Robert Rodriquez new film is one of the most entertaining films of the fall. It is fun, bloody, messy; every action-loving viewer should run to the nearest cinema and experience it for themselves.
  18. Jul 30, 2013
    8
    Very good for a trash movie blood and guts everywhere. Plot is very simple and even stupid but such kind of movies does not need it much. Awesome crew Michelle Rodrigues, Dennie Trecho, Jessica Alba, Steplen Sigal. Only Lindsey Lochan looks like on drugs. But she is actually on drugs in movie and in real life too. You should watch this, if you like blood meatgrinder like Crank.
  19. Nov 26, 2010
    7
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I have to start with saying that I adore Grindhouse, both as a double-feature as it was originally intended, and as two separate movies. Quite simply, it represents one of the most enjoyable viewing experiences I've ever had at the cinema. In the original feature the fake trailer for Machete was a highlight, and so I approached the full-length movie with hope but some trepidation - could Robert Rodriguez expand on and deliver what he had promised in the 3minute trailer that previewed before the excellent Planet Terror? The answer, I'm sad to say, is not really. The film is not a failure by any means - it's fun, gory, and a pleasure to watch, but sadly it doesn't have the magic of Grindhouse. Perhaps it's because Rodriguez merely co-directed it, with his frequent editor Ethan Maniquis, and shared many other duties he usually performs solo. The score for instance lacks iconic themes, and didn't generate the excitement and sense of fun of Planet Terror. The editing too seemed disjointed at times, and the screenplay felt lacking - all the best lines were in the original trailer. Maybe it was just too political, and could have further embraced the trashy B-Movie qualities of exploitation cinema. One moment that was particularly disappointing was the shot of Machete with the machine gun attached to the front of his bike - when compared to Cherry Darling's big moment when she utilises her shot-gun leg for the first time, it just didn't generate that same feeling of euphoria and disbelief. For all that however, the film is a success for its spot-on casting. Danny Trejo enjoys the kind of role he was born to play (and boy can he wield that weapon to terrific effect - carnage certainly ensues). Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba are smart, sexy and feisty, and Lindsay Lohan, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin and even Steven Seagal have a blast (although in comparison they do not enjoy the gifted dialogue or frenetic set-pieces the actors in Grindhouse were awarded with - nothing in this movie compares to Marley Shelton's "three friends" monologue, Freddy Rodriguez' hospital corridor fight or the aforementioned Cherry and her remarkable machine-gun leg). I look forward to watching Machete for a second time when I will have more realistic expectations, and I can enjoy it without comparing it to Grindhouse, a movie I now regard as one of my top films of all time. Expand
  20. Oct 1, 2010
    8
    I LOVED this movie! Can't wait til it comes out so I can buy it. It has every campy thing you can imagine and is such good entertainment! If you liked Desperado, you will love this!
  21. Sep 25, 2010
    8
    I liked Machete very much. It was definitely a fun thrill ride. Machete also had an A list cast, including Robert DeNiro. The one flaw I believe this movie has, is the overusage of the parody type movie. However, the action is sick. The acting may not be the best, but this could Lindsay Lohan's ticket back in Hollywood.
  22. Apr 2, 2011
    9
    Machete may not send texts, but he definately can make a brilliant movie. Danny Trejo stars as Machete, who was a cop in Mexico before he got double crossed and Steven Segal decapitated his wife. Three years later, Machete is an illegal immigrant living in Texas, who is then given an opportunity to kill a senator (Robert De Niro) who wants to get rid of all the immigrants. The job thenMachete may not send texts, but he definately can make a brilliant movie. Danny Trejo stars as Machete, who was a cop in Mexico before he got double crossed and Steven Segal decapitated his wife. Three years later, Machete is an illegal immigrant living in Texas, who is then given an opportunity to kill a senator (Robert De Niro) who wants to get rid of all the immigrants. The job then turns out to be a set-up, as the Senator is shot in the leg by his own man and Machete is framed. First things first, this film doesn't attempt to be a heart-warming story or a contendor for the Oscars, all it attempts to be is a Mexploitation film which is full of action, blood and laughs. And in that context, it succeeds. It's about time Danny Trejo got the leading role for a movie, he's 66 and been in over 100 films, yet this is his first leading role in a film. Robert Rodriguez especially rewards him, by having him get in a pool with a naked Lindsey Lohan and her naked onscreen mom. The action in this film may seem a bit over the top, but the great thing is that the film revels in being over the top, it is quite in vein of the old B movies. In one scene he attaches a machine gun to a motorbike and rides it high into the sky, with an explosion behind him, taking down about ten guys at once. In fact, heres a link to that particular scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF0JCB24Ld8 This film has a wicked sense of humour. In the opening, Machete carries out a naked girl, who then stabs him with his own machete and then calls the bad guys. I know what you're thinking, "The girls naked, where does she get a cell phone from?". Think about it with a dirty mind. Yeah, from there. During a fight in the hospital, Machete stabs an enemy, then pulls out his intestine and escapes out a window. This film also boasts what I call the funniest bodyguards I have seen in a film so far. Machete, to enter a villians mansion, grabs a load of gardening equipment and poses as a gardener, the guards let him in. One guard then remarks "You ever noticed how you let a Mexican into your house just because he's got gardening tools? No questions asked, you just let him right in. Could have a chainsaw. You know, a machete...". They then realise what he's said, and have their asses handed to them by Machete. Later the guards (still alive) talk about how people are fine with Mexicans working for them, yet not with letting them live in this country, and when Machete returns, one guard just proclaims "I quit!" and hands Machete his gun, making the smart choice and walking out alive. I would happily return for "Machete Kills" and "Machete Kills Again" Expand
  23. Oct 22, 2010
    9
    In a return to old form, Robert Rodriguez delivers an obscenely stylish homage to Exploitation Genres of years past by creating Machete, a "Mexploitation" film. Danny Trejo clearly doesn't play Machete. He is Machete. The man is a walking legend and he clearly enjoys his media persona. Machete, the film, goes completely mental after seconds and never really recovers - and it doesn't needIn a return to old form, Robert Rodriguez delivers an obscenely stylish homage to Exploitation Genres of years past by creating Machete, a "Mexploitation" film. Danny Trejo clearly doesn't play Machete. He is Machete. The man is a walking legend and he clearly enjoys his media persona. Machete, the film, goes completely mental after seconds and never really recovers - and it doesn't need to. It's an insanely creative action spectacle, filled with laughs and explosions alike. Much like Planet Terror, a lot of the enjoyment comes from acknowledging its hammy nature and running with it. And by all means, run with it. You won't regret it. Expand
  24. Oct 25, 2010
    8
    This movie is bad ass and hilarious. Obviously the people who didn't like this movie are not bad asses and do not have a good sense of humor. I'm not a huge Jessica Alba fan and some parts were a little too much, but Machete's character is perfect. No one could have played the role better than Danny Trejo.
  25. Oct 29, 2010
    7
    Mix up some tough Mexicans, bloody action, a lo-fi appearance and Robert Rodriguez and you'll get this tasty soup. Not bad even though not his best movie (Sin City stills on top).
  26. Jan 8, 2011
    9
    What a wonderful grindhouse tribute! It has all the things you love and would want, but then there is that odd little subplot with politics involved. An interesting move, and let's face it- Dany Trejo is amazing and has enough of a following to get the buzz going. Shock and gore aside, there is a fun feeling all over this film, like the cast and crew had a lot of fun making it. It's a fun ride.
  27. Jan 5, 2011
    7
    machete is a great movie full with action and sex. The story line is better than the other grindhouse movies. This isnt the best grindhouse movie but it is a very great movie. This is a pretty funny action movie. I laugh all though the movie. The director did a great job with filling this movie with alot of action and comedy. I Suggest this movie to everyone. If you a grindhouse fan youmachete is a great movie full with action and sex. The story line is better than the other grindhouse movies. This isnt the best grindhouse movie but it is a very great movie. This is a pretty funny action movie. I laugh all though the movie. The director did a great job with filling this movie with alot of action and comedy. I Suggest this movie to everyone. If you a grindhouse fan you will love this movie. Expand
  28. Jan 2, 2011
    7
    As the critic analysis says, Machete can't be taken seriously and it is nothing but fun, gore, and cartoonish violence. A great summer blockbuster.
  29. Jan 7, 2011
    7
    The situation in the movie is a conspiracy of capitalists and political hardliners against Mexican immigration. Unfortunately, the showdown is too dumb and therefore disappoints greater expectations. However, the movie is fast-paced and holds some hilarious moments. Worth watching.
  30. Jan 23, 2011
    10
    One of the best movies of 2010. This is what a movie is all about, not nonsense like Black Swan or Inception. Action pack fun through out the whole movie.
Metascore
60

Mixed or average reviews - based on 29 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 19 out of 29
  2. Negative: 2 out of 29
  1. 63
    Any movie that finds a plausible reason to give Lindsay Lohan a nun's habit and a machine gun is worth your attention.
  2. Machete is insanely violent, insanely over-the-top. It's pretty much flat-out insane.
  3. In the end, Machete may not be all that original, but it is fresh – fresh as a steel blade to the gut.