Mean Machine

Mean Machine Image
Metascore
45

Mixed or average reviews - based on 25 Critics What's this?

User Score
8.1

Universal acclaim- based on 30 Ratings

Your Score
0 out of 10
Rate this:
  • 10
  • 9
  • 8
  • 7
  • 6
  • 5
  • 4
  • 3
  • 2
  • 1
  • 0
  • 0
  • Starring:
  • Summary: This British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison, where murderers, thieves and assorted madmen are locked away. One inmate is about to lead them all in the ultimate battle of their degenerate lives -- but no one could have guessed it would be aThis British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison, where murderers, thieves and assorted madmen are locked away. One inmate is about to lead them all in the ultimate battle of their degenerate lives -- but no one could have guessed it would be a soccer match! (Paramount Classics) Expand

Trailer

Please enter your birth date to continue:
You are not allowed to view this material at this time.
Autoplay: On | Off
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 25
  2. Negative: 5 out of 25
  1. A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones.
  2. 70
    I'm not sure Mean Machine is any worse than "The Longest Yard," but it lacks the nihilistic '70s background that lent the latter's combination of humor and brutality an air of (arguably bogus) social commentary.
  3. 50
    Accomplishes a near miracle -- this British import makes you yearn for Burt Reynolds, who appeared in a vastly more entertaining version of the same story.
  4. 50
    It does, however, fairly bubble with speed-freak energy and a dry, laddish wit that keeps the jokes coming.
  5. In Mean Machine, soccer is pretty much an excuse to watch a bunch of grown men smashing their heads together. Which, come to think of it, may be enough.
  6. 40
    While competently staged and punched up by Lock, Stock's changing camera speeds, it doesn't have the wit or intrigue to sustain its half-length.
  7. If you have any desire to see this movie, you really should go rent "The Longest Yard" instead. It's available on DVD, and the '70s hairdos alone are worth the rental price.

See all 25 Critic Reviews

Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 11 out of 13
  2. Negative: 0 out of 13
  1. MartinH.
    Sep 3, 2006
    10
    Great movie! Action, Drama, and Comedy all in one package.
  2. k.f.
    Mar 21, 2005
    10
    Best film ever.
  3. [Anonymous]
    Sep 22, 2005
    10
    Excellent movie the monk is a ledge.
  4. AlexW.
    Oct 20, 2005
    9
    I know is This British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison. BUT independent of it is an I know is This British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison. BUT independent of it is an excellent performance, great humour, nice picture, music goes right to the action on film, every detail is there. I think even it is and adaptation it is a much better version. New times are sometimes better. I love the movie, I laugh and laugh. Expand
  5. Sep 1, 2010
    6
    English remake of the 1970's Burt Reynolds American football romp.
    Former England captain, off the rails, gets arrested for drink driving,
    English remake of the 1970's Burt Reynolds American football romp.
    Former England captain, off the rails, gets arrested for drink driving, assault, etc then ends up in prison with several unsavoury characters.
    He then gets together a team of inmates to play against the guards.
    It's ok in parts, Jones plays himself, Statham is ok until he speaks & it's all a bit bland. David Kelly & Danny Dyer are good though & the music isn't too bad.
    Expand

See all 13 User Reviews

Trailers

Related Articles

  1. 23 Buddy Movies, Ranked From Worst to Best

    23 Buddy Movies, Ranked From Worst to Best Image
    Published: July 25, 2016
    We rank some of cinema's most notable buddy films by Metascore.
  2. What to Watch Now on Netflix

    What to Watch Now on Netflix Image
    Published: July 25, 2016
    Get a list of the best movie and TV titles recently added (and coming soon) to Netflix streaming, updated frequently. You can also find a list of titles expiring soon.
  3. Film Friday (7/22): This Week's New Movie Trailers

    Film Friday (7/22): This Week's New Movie Trailers Image
    Published: July 22, 2016
    Watch all of this week's new film trailers, including new looks at The Magnificent Seven, Sausage Party, xXx: Return of Xander Cage, Snowden, The Girl on the Train, and more. Plus, get a quick update on the latest movie news and release date announcements.
  4. What Movie Should I See This Weekend?

    What Movie Should I See This Weekend? Image
    Published: July 20, 2016
    Preview all of this weekend's new theatrical releases (including Star Trek Beyond, Lights Out, Don't Think Twice, Ice Age: Collision Course, and more), with Metascores and trailers for each new film.