Mixed or average reviews - based on 25 Critics What's this?

User Score

Universal acclaim- based on 26 Ratings

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  • Summary: This British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison, where murderers, thieves and assorted madmen are locked away. One inmate is about to lead them all in the ultimate battle of their degenerate lives -- but no one could have guessed it would be a soccer match! (Paramount Classics) Expand
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 25
  2. Negative: 5 out of 25
  1. A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones.
  2. Mean Machine may not have the resonance to linger in the memory affectionately as "The Longest Yard" does, but it plays well, with a fast pace and plenty of punch.
  3. Against heavy odds, Mean Machine adds darker flavors to the plot without curdling it. Beneath the comic craziness is real craziness, and desperation. These goal-kicking, bone-crunching cons are both actors in and prisoners of their own horror show.
  4. There's just no juice to this thing, merely a bunch of fitfully funny gags and a climactic football match that, under Skolnick's direction, fails to show us why the Europeans find this so exciting.
  5. 50
    Disappointingly straightforward remake.
  6. Reviewed by: Justine Elias
    The most off-key notes here are the sentimental ones: When David Kelly shows up, reprising the wise-trustee role he had in the horticulture-behind-bars movie "Greenfingers," it's as though some twee script gremlin sneaked in and meddled with the Guy Ritchie schematics.
  7. If you have any desire to see this movie, you really should go rent "The Longest Yard" instead. It's available on DVD, and the '70s hairdos alone are worth the rental price.

See all 25 Critic Reviews

Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 12 out of 13
  2. Negative: 0 out of 13
  1. MartinH.
    Sep 3, 2006
    Great movie! Action, Drama, and Comedy all in one package.
  2. k.f.
    Mar 21, 2005
    Best film ever.
  3. [Anonymous]
    Sep 22, 2005
    Excellent movie the monk is a ledge.
  4. AlexW.
    Oct 20, 2005
    I know is This British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison. BUT independent of it is an excellent performance, great humour, nice picture, music goes right to the action on film, every detail is there. I think even it is and adaptation it is a much better version. New times are sometimes better. I love the movie, I laugh and laugh. Expand
  5. Sep 1, 2010
    English remake of the 1970's Burt Reynolds American football romp.
    Former England captain, off the rails, gets arrested for drink driving,
    assault, etc then ends up in prison with several unsavoury characters.
    He then gets together a team of inmates to play against the guards.
    It's ok in parts, Jones plays himself, Statham is ok until he speaks & it's all a bit bland. David Kelly & Danny Dyer are good though & the music isn't too bad.

See all 13 User Reviews