- Studio: Relativity Media
- Release Date: Feb 14, 2013
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38It’s hard to argue with the title here – Safe Haven, indeed. This is all about safety in the Hollywood workplace. Why make a movie when making a Hallmark-card-with-dialogue is so much less risky?
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38A movie that passably ambles along in generic-melodrama mode before finally insulting audience intelligence one time too many.
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Feb 13, 201338If it can be said movies have personalities, I give you three words to sum up the basic core identity of Safe Haven: Bat. Bleep. Crazy.
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37Safe Haven is one of those Valentine’s Day confections that satisfy your sweet tooth until you get to their weird, off-putting center. The problem with movies is that you can’t put them back in the box.
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33The cutaways to this cop-on-the-edge plot are jarring and lacking in conviction, and when the whole tortured mess comes together in a twist-filled third act, Safe Haven becomes a full-blown calamity.
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30Hough emits all the charisma of a personal assistant.
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30The leads project a sunny patina of wholesomeness and share marvelous tans, but beyond that, it’s a shrugging love match.
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30The weakest parts of Safe Haven are its action sequences, in which the illusion of reality is shattered by ham-handed editing, garish special effects and comic-book dialogue.
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25Even when compared against other films that have been adapted from Nicholas Sparks novels, Safe Haven is terrible.
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20As ever with a Sparks story, the action takes place in a sugary vision of small-town America that does not correspond with the real world at any point.
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20This sloppy sentimental journey is long on beauty shots, short on depth and seriously intent on tugging your heartstrings. Indeed, it demands you reach for those tissues. Sob.
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Feb 13, 201312It goes without saying that Safe Haven is the whitest thing offered up for public consumption in the three days since Mumford & Sons won the Grammy for Album of the Year.
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0I hate Safe Haven. It's a terrible thing to do to your Valentine.